Kindergarten..sooner Or Later?

We were in this position (boy, mid-August birthday) and we struggled with the decision. I actually registered him for K and for another year of preschool so that I could wait until August to make the final decision. We ultimately chose to send him to K on time rather than wait a year. I will discuss the factors behind that decision below. Our son is now 7 and in 2nd grade and is doing extremely well socially and academically. The only area that is a challenge at times is the writing but we have gotten him assistance through an occupational therapist as well as having supportive teachers at his school. He is in the top academic groups, has lots of friends, and all the girls have crushes on him...LOL.

Factors that influenced our decision:
1) DS is small for his age so I had concerns, but the school we chose is racially very diverse so his size has been a non-issue (sounds strange but true).
2) DS has Sensory Processing Disorder so I worried about him being in a classroom all day (esp. K) but I made the school aware of it and worked with the teachers so they understood the signs of him being overstimulated by noise and could intervene in a positive manner.
3) DS really wanted to start K at age 5
4) DS was worried about being away from home all day so he came up with the idea that he "would like to have some practice". So we signed him up for 2 weeks of an academic day camp at a local private school during July. Best thing we could have done! He learned what it was like to be in a new setting and be gone all day. I learned what it took for him to get up early and off to school without big battles.
5) In preschool at age 4, DS was not very social. He was still playing side by side most of the time rather than engaging with the other kids (who were 3 and 4). However, over that summer before K, I made a point of exposing him to lots of new social situations and encouraged him to talk to other kids. He blossomed all of a sudden. That skill has continued to grow and he has become a class leader.
6) DS tests in the gifted range. We suspected this before K and it was confirmed in K. I hate to think how bored and unchallenged he would be if we had waited.
7) I read some articles that summarized the effects of starting students late and much of the research finds that most differences in the early grades disappear by 3rd grade and are completely gone by middle school.
8) I had to listen to everyone around me saying "He should wait. He's a boy and boys aren't ready for K at 5." But my knowledge of our son's strengths and abilities along with an awareness of his weaknesses combined with knowing that he would have a lot of support at home, gave me the confidence to send him on time to K.
9) I had to weigh whether things that were part of my son's demeanor and personality were things that would actually change with another year to mature or whether they were a part of his overall person and would not likely change much. I was a very shy child and that didn't change until I was in college. Holding me back a year would not have made a bit of difference in how I related to my peers. In fact, sometimes being the oldest in a class puts a whole new set of expectations on a child. The kids in my son's class who were 6 when they started all had the same issues they would have if they had started at 5 (shy or inattentive or socially inept). Other than size and one case of particularly immature 5 year old, it was impossible to tell who was 5 and who was 6 based on academic or social performance. I spent a lot of time volunteering in the classroom (full day once a week) so I knew the kids very well.

Don't let anybody make this decision for you. Talk with your daughter as well, find out her ideas. And remember that it may be too early to make a final decision. By registering for both Pre-K and K, you can keep your options open for just the price of any registration fee. And be sure to combine reading about people's personal experiences with reading the research on the subject. Good luck.

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I would recommend a half-day to ease her into the situation. You can always pull her out of it doesn't work. Most likely her friends in pre-school will all be starting Kindergarten so there will be familiar faces. Do you have a Kumon center in you rarea. Out here in CA most of my friends that have young kids starting Kindergarten put their kids in Kumon alongside preschool the year before Kindergarten starts. It has helped them immensely in learning to write and read. I believe Kumon is a worldwide organization. Good luck. You are the mom, so ultimately, you know best!

is the school ok with starting that young? I went to kindergarden when I was 5. (my day in june) but my brother had to wait till he was 6 (bday in july) because he missed the age cut off date. if the school is ok with it, discuss it with your daughters pre-school teacher. i knew a girl in my brothers class they had to hold back because she didnt master enough social skills in kindergarden because of her young age, but since your child is already socializing in pre-school this may not be an issue

I don't know what to tell you. My son has a late August birthday and we considered holding him back as well. What made us go ahead and send him to kindergarten (all day)was that academically he was ready to go. My son taught himself to read at 4yrs old and was always available to learn new things. He was not very mature and had some language issues as well. Now in kindergarten he is thriving academically, the teacher is very aware that my son quickly grasps the concepts she is teaching. The downfall is that he has trouble communicating and that often leads to behavior issues. I can't advise you one way or the other, but I will say if I had it to do again I would still send my son to kindergarten on time. They teach writing and letters in kindergarten so if that is your concern, they will cover that. If your daughter is shy now, she may always be shy, that might just be who she is. Truly there is no right or wrong answer to your question, you are her parents and you know her best. Go with your gut :)

My daughter as an August birthday and we held her until she was six. She is in first grade now and one of the oldest in her class, which she loves. She is doing very well and we know we made the right decisions. Our son is a July baby and we are going to do the same thing. I feel there is no need to rush them out of the house when they are barely 18. Good luck, it is a hard decision.

If you wait she will be 18 when she graduates, if not she will be 17 and have to start college before she even is a legal adult. My youngest was 5 in June and we kept him out until he was 6 and it was good in a lot of ways. I do not regret it. He was still taking naps at his desk in 1st grade and I couldn't imagine him doing that in 2nd grade. He also was one of the older ones in class although there were a few of us that had our children in May, June and July that decided to wait to send them. My friend's child was born the same day as my son and she sent her a couple weeks to kindergarten but they moved her into a 4K class.

I heard someone say "which would you rather have, your child driving her friends around or her friends driving her around?" The older ones will get the first drivers licenses and I would rather my child be the older one then the younger one in her class.

Please think about what is best for your child now, but also when she is 16, 17, & 18. Maturity cannot be rushed, and it will be hard for her later in life if she is always behind the other kids socially, emotionally, and academically. Children develop at their own pace, some sit up early, some late, some walk early, some late. It shouldn't make you or your child feel bad if she is not ready just because the state says kids can start school at five.

Kindergarten is not a babysitting service anymore. Most districts are forcing more academic routines and structured experiences down to kindergarten. Kindergarten is the new 1st grade. The structure and routine of an all day program can be very stressful for a child if she is not ready yet. The first year of an academic career should not be spent frustrated and always behind. Your child will learn that school is hard, frustrating, boring, and that she is not as bright as the other kids. I don't think the cost of another year of preschool is worth the cost to your child in the long run.

I would not recommend sending her with the intent to repeat K. if necessary. There are a lot of social stigmas with repeating a grade, and it may be hard to make that choice when the time comes. Not to mention that if she were to stay in the same classroom or school she would be very bored the second time around, which would lead to behavior issues as well as academic boredom.

I have never met a parent that was sorry that they waited a year, but I have met several that were sorry their child had to be retained, or struggled socially and academically.

Having said that, a lot can change between now and August. Sign up now if you are unsure, but then wait and speak with the preschool teacher at the end of the year. You may also want to talk to the kindergarten teacher(s) at the school your child will attend. What do they see in their classrooms? Are the majority of kids younger or older? What does their program expect a beginning kindergartener to be able to do? What are the social expectations? How do younger children typically do in their classrooms? Get advice from the trained experts and then weigh it with what you know about your child. If your gut says wait another year do it!

I would wait another year. Our son turned 5 this past July and could have gone to kindergarten. We decided, along with his teachers that another year of preschool would do him a world of wonder. Let me tell you it has!! Last year we had tears almost every morning when I dropped him off. He had no confidence and needed coaxed to do many things. He knew his letters and numbers, but had trouble writing. This year, he walks in with confidence and feels right at home. He answers up in class, he wants to do things on his own and is doing 100% better. Let your daughter gain the same confidence for kindergarten by letting her have another year of preschool.

To me, 5 means you start Kindergarten...period. My birthday is August 31st and I started when I was 4, turning 5 a week later. I did just fine. My daughter who turned 5 in April started this fall and I was SHOCKED that she was the youngest in her class. Both boys and girls in her class are 4-6 inches taller and they're all 6, or turning 6.

If your daughter is truly timid/struggling, then you have to make that decision. Kindergarten is free, so my thinking is why pay for preschool another year when you can have her there. Parents these days, not just of boys, are holding them until they're 6 with the hopes that they will be the smartest, the most advanced, and better in sports for their age group. While it's important that a child feel confidence, it's ok to send a child that isn't "up to par". If you were to question 100 kingergarten teachers, about 90% would say they prefer good social skills over a child that is "book" smart.

I'd go with later! I did that with both my kids. I have a boy and a girl. I have no regrets. I waited until my son was 6 because academically, he just wasn't doing what is expected of a 5 year old (socially, he was fine) and i waited until my daughter was 6 because socially, she was very shy (academically she was right on target and very smart). Nether one of them were bored with an extra year of preschool and they are not bored now in elementary school. All of the teachers have said that it was a good decision. They can tell who the young 5's are and who the older ones are. I'd much rather them graduate from high school when they are 18 going on 19 rather than 17. Also, if she has a hard time, it's harder to hold them back once they start elementary school because they want to move on with their friends. If you give them an extra year now, they don't even know the difference. Good luck! I struggled with my decision but I'm glad i waited.

We made the same decision a year ago. (Son's birthday is late August.) At the time, everyone we spoke with (teachers, parents) said in their experience, no one had ever regretted waiting. I remember standing at preschool pickup in the early spring, watching his 5-1/2 year old classmates, and thinking "Yeah, I can see them going to kindergarten." And then I looked at my 4-1/2 year old, and the answer was pretty easy. We had his IQ tested last year, and he's quite extraordinarily gifted, he just was not socially mature enough to handle all-day. His preschool teachers also strongly recommended that we wait. We were lucky enough that his preschool also had a half-day, fully accredited kindergarten that was geared for "young fives" - kids who barely made the cutoff, or just missed it. About half his class went straight on to first grade this year, the other half is now in full-day kindergarten. It was the best of both worlds, really: he would have been a little bored in another year of preschool, so he got to learn what he was ready for (science, math, reading) and still spend the mornings with me and his brother. I know several families who sent their young five to the half-day public kindergarten, and then to the full-day private kindergarten the following year (but that will depend a lot on your daughter, and how she adjusts to major changes - two new schools in two years could be a lot for some kids.) Listen to her preschool teachers - they are going to be able to give you the best information about what she's ready for -her behavior at school is likely to be a little different from her behavior at home. I also thought about things like: "Do I want to send a 17-year-old to college, or an almost 19-year-old?" And "he's got his whole life to be a big kid, why not let him have one more year of early childhood." So we decide to hold him back (and yes, that's how we think of it, we held him back a year.) And it was one of the best parenting decisions we've ever made. Watching him grow last year, and mature, and watching him walk into kindergarten with confidence - he is having a fun, engaged, successful kindergarten year.

I think the suggestion of securing yourself a spot in both places (a half-day program and a full-day program) is really wise - then you can wait and see what happens over the summer, and see if she's ready then. We waited until late spring to make our choice - our son needs preparation time, a last-minute choice would have been very hard for him - but it's true your daughter is going to grow and change a lot between now and then.

I'd actually also suggest you talk to your daughter. Is she excited about going to kindergarten? (Although it's a long, long time in the future for her.) Does the idea of a new school, and being gone all day, make her worried? And to what degree? You can be honest with her about the decision you're making, and that you want to find the place where she will be happy and best able to learn. Especially since she's watched two older siblings go through this process, she may have something valuable to add to the decision-making.

I also want to say: I know there's so much pressure to "make a decision right now!!!!" But you can always change your mind. It's just kindergarten. If you start her, and it's a disaster, you can pull her out. If you keep her in preschool, and it's a disaster, you can move her up. Or if you keep her in preschool, and it's a good year, but by the time she's in kindergarten, she's ready for first grade, a good teacher will know to move her up a grade. People move across the country in the middle of the school year. Kids change schools. Or classrooms. So give yourself (and your daughter) a break, and know that you are not determining her life destiny in making this choice. Not that the choice is irrelevant, but it's also not destiny.

Good luck - you will find the right place for her.

I just think it's sad to decide a child is going to fail at something before they even get to try it out.

Let the child stay with the kids her age and see how she does. In a year and a half if she needs to not go to first grade then address the issue.

There are GREAT BIG growths mentally and cognitively in the 4, 5, and 6 year age groups. Give her a chance before deciding she will fail at Kindergarten....

Our 5-year-old daughter turned 5 this past May and entered Kindergarten four months later in September. She had been to two years of preschool previously and we just had our first parent-teacher conference w/ her kindergarten teacher yesterday. She received outstanding and good marks across the board. So I'm not sure if age is a big factor, or just personal, social readiness. Good luck w/ whatever you decide!

My son (who is now 7years old/1st grade) could have gone at the same age as your daughter. After talking to several teachers and moms of older kids, we decided to put him in Junior Kindergarten (similar to preschool with a bit more structure) for the year. He went into Kindergarten as one of the older kids and thrived! I think it's different for every child, but feel like we've given our son an advantage..good luck and enjoy this fun time : )

It really depends on the individual child and things can change drastically between now and September 2011. I would double enroll her--preschool and kindergarten--and then decide over the summer. If you choose kindergarten, you will lose your preschool deposit, but it shouldn't be a significant amount. This is what we did with our son who is now an 8th grader. Factors to keep in mind include social and emotional skills and self help abilities (tying shoes, putting on snow pants, etc.), which are just as important as academic readiness. Our son was ready academically, but not emotionally. We decided to wait and it turned out to be the best decision FOR HIM. No regrets at all, but every child is different. You should also think down the road to middle school, puberty, high school, etc. Our son is small (always has been) and a late bloomer so even though he's one of the oldest kids in his grade you would never know it. In fact, people probably think he's one of the younger ones in terms of physical appearance. I can't even imagine what he would look like among the freshman in HS, although it probably would have worked out in the long run whatever we had decided. Also, I recommend consulting with staff at your elementary school possibilities, your daughter's preschool teachers and any other professional resource available to you. We worked with our son's preschool teachers, future kindergarten teachers and the principal of his elementary school. They were all very helpful in our decision. Good luck. Finally--try to tune out well-meaning but opinionated grandparents, friends, neighbors. Listen to the professionals and go with your gut about what you know about your daughter. It used to drive me nuts when parents at the playground who didn't even know my child told me what to do! We also had grandparents who told us we were "ruining his life" by not sending him to school at age 5. Ha! He is excelling both academically and socially in 8th grade.

I would consider another year of pre-school, or, if it's an option, a kindergarten program at a preschool (like a Montessori). I'd also recommend having this discussion with the kindergarten and first grade teachers at your parochial school to see what they would recommend. And be prepared to do kindergarten twice if you decide to send her next year.

My daughter has a September birthday and this is the route I am taking. I have worked with the teachers at the school where our older child attends,but my daughter is in a different private kindergarten program. We are going to evaluate in the spring and late summer and then decide if she will be better in the kindergarten or first grade for next year.

My first son I ended up having to hold him back in 3rd grade. My second son, they said he was ready for kindergarten, however, I didn't think he was ready so he had a 3rd year in preschool. I wish I had done that with my first son rather than have to hold him back later. My second son was a high achiever and finished in the top 5% of high school and college graduated with a 3.6. He is a confident young man who knows he can achieve anything he works for in life. I've never regretted keeping him another year in preschool as it gave him time to mature. --R. H.

Hello - I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. This is a very difficult decision because it will affect the rest of your child's life. We are experiencing the exact same situation right now. My daughter is 4 and will be 5 in mid-July. We've decided to wait to send her until just after she's 6. I struggled with it, but ultimately it came down to the fact that I'd rather give her a "leg up" than have her be the youngest and constantly struggling to keep up (not only academically, but socially). My daughter is a very smart little girl (her language skills are amazing!), but I still feel giving her another year to mature will only help. When they're so little there is a big difference in a child that just turned 5 and one that is almost 6! Their brains just advance so much at that young age and I feel like if she starts out school struggling to keep up with the other kids it will only cause frustration and a feeling of disliking school, which will lead to battles for the years to come. In our district, Kindergarten is all day as well. To me, that's a very long day for a child that just turned 5. Our bus comes at 6:40am and doesn't drop off until 4:00pm. That means she would be putting in an almost 9 and a half hour day! I'm exhausted after putting in a day at work that long....I cannot imagine what a just 5 year old would feel like putting in that long of a day! Like another post stated, Kindergarten expects a lot out of them now and their little brains get taxed and it is a very long day! I just think of it this way.... what would I rather have done if it were me? Would I want to be the youngest kid or oldest? Would I want to be more advanced or run the risk of struggling to keep up? Would I want to be the last girl to get boobs and my period? The last to become a teenager in my class? The last to get my drivers license? The last to turn 18? Probably not. You need to consider all those things, not only the academic, but the social stigmas and emotional feelings that come with them for your child. I agree...I would NEVER put a child in kindergarten with the intent of having them repeat! There is a huge social stigma on "repeaters". I seriously remember all the kids that got "held back" in my grade and, yes, there was a perception of them being the "dumb" kids. If you start them later.... no one ever thinks that! Just some food for thought. Good luck with your decision and know that you're the parent and whatever you decide is what you believe is best for your child. You know them better than anyone else and don't worry about what others say! Go with your gut! Good luck!

I would wait and do another year of preschool. My daughter's birthday is in the fall, so she missed the cutoff anyway, but...

I argued with the school to let her in early. She would have turned 5 shortly after school started anyway and she was reading in complete sentences by the time she was 3 years old. Even as a 4 year old, she was already reading at 1st grade level, so I was concerned that she would be bored with school and lose her desire to learn. They were firm about their decision and she had to wait another year.

Boy was I glad in the end! She is in 3rd grade now and is still testing at a full grade (sometimes a grade and a half) ahead of her classmates. But, because of her initial shyness and maturity level, it was a very good thing to wait on school. She is just now starting to catch up behavior/social-wise and I know this will be for the best in the long run.

Why rush it?

And I do not agree that parents are holding their kids back so they can be the smartest, better at sports, etc. It doesn't matter how smart a child is or how tall they are. If they don't have the social skills, they are going to struggle in school. They need to be emotionally ready as well and I believe that is the main reason parents hold back their kids. A huge part of school, even in kindergarten is interacting with the teacher and working in groups.

There was a child in my daughter's kindergarten class whose mom came to school every day with him. She was basically babysitting him because he had a lack of social skills and didn't know how to cooperate in a group setting. After a few months, he was pulled from class until the next year. Per the teacher, he was a smart student, he just was not mature enough to be "without his mommy" yet.

My son's birthday is about the same time of year and when he began Kindergarten he was just 5. He has some delays in language skills, writing, letter recognition, etc. We definitely would have kept him back a year had he not already been the tallest kid in his grade. He's in middle school and is still the tallest kid in his grade (out of about 300 kids). With the language skills delay he'd be in a much better place now in 6th grade, and certainly along the years since if he was a year more mature. But since he's so very tall as compared to other kids his age it wasn't even a remote consideration - we didn't want him to be seen as freakishly tall.

I would seriously consider delaying her start another year - but ultimately, you know your child best.

Looking back, I sent my son too early. But a few things they told me this past summer, when I asked if he should repeat KG: He would be larger than the older kids, and our KG is full, and he would get more aid in first.

Someone I know put their child in Montessori KG, that way if she felt a repeat was necessary, it wouldn't really "count" when he entered the public system.

Just a few thoughts, everyone's child is different. Talk to the current pre-school teacher. You can always enroll, and change your mind over the summer.

Trust your gut and your instincts. You still have some time to decide AND you can change your mind. With an August birthday, it may be worth waiting if you see her as not yet ready for that step. As a teacher, I've seen students (and have some) who may have benefited from waiting a year. They can handle the academics, but behaviorly are there yet for the grade level.

I've never heard anyone regret sending their child later. If you feel she's not ready, then hold her back. I'd try to understand why she's timid. If it's her personality - that is just who she is - and it won't change (and doesn't need to). I guess I'd work w/ the teachers to get their opinions... maybe even try to watch her one day to see what your gut tells you. The trend seems to err on the side of waiting, so she won't be "the oldest" in the class. Good luck - tough decisions.

I also agree with a lot of the responders that it depends on YOUR child. You cannot compare her to anyone, but herself and you know her best. I wouldn't even think about the age part...think social skills, focus, and ability/willingness to learn.

Our son just missed the cutoff (turned 5 on Sept 4th), but we felt like he was ready to go...and so did he. We had to go through all the early entrance testing (IQ test and such) which made us question our decision so much. When it came down to it he was ready. He started Kindergarten this Sept and although he is the second youngest in the class (there is one other early entrance girl), he is doing great and loves it. It helps that he is already above average in size as well, so he fits in that way as well.

His teacher said that we made the right decision to send him. So again, really it comes down to your child.

Good luck, it is a hard decision. I don't think I would "hold back" a child unless there were some really good academic or social reason to do it.

My sons birthday is August 21st (he is 4) and he will be starting Kinder next year. But with out Pre-K conference earlier this week he will need Kindergarten to keep him challanged. There is a placement test you can call the school board for and see if she is ready that way if you want too.

I would look into a kindergarden at a private school or daycare center. If you still feel the same way you can send her again the following year. My son is 4 1/2 and is already reading so we are sending him to the kindergarden at the daycare we go to for 1/2 day only. The other 1/2 of the day he goes back to the pre K room at the daycare. He is socially not ready for a public school kindergarden with large class sizes but he is doing fine in a small group setting. We fully plan on sending him to kindergarden next year within the public school system (when he is 5) and I don't think it is a big deal to have them repeat if necessary. If you want information about the daycare/kindergarden my son goes to, just email me.

what else does the pre K teacher say? Ask for a conference if you dont already know her opinion. You can ask Does your daughter participate in classroom discussions, understand instructions follow directions, raise her hand, take risks? Play with other children or prefer playing alone? It's ok if she cant write well but does she know some letters and is she able to count ten or so objects with accuracy?