140 answers

Kindergarten in the Fall or Wait

We are trying to determine whether or not to send our son to kindergarten in the fall or not. He has a summer birthday, so we can really go either way (He'll be 5 this summer). I think it would benefit him to wait a year, so that he is more mature, more interested in reading/writing, and hopefully will be alittle more mellow. My son has a ton of energy and is easily distracted, so I am a little concerned that if we started him this fall, that he would quickly lag behind his peers. I am wondering from those of you with older kids that have summer birthdays what you did, or wished you would have done. Some friends have told me...oh, he'll be fine. And that school will help calm him down because of the structure. I just want to do the right thing....

I am completely on the fence.

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I'm just going to say you need to think about when they are a teenager too. Speaking as a parent of a summer bday child who's now in high school, I never doubted sending her when she was in elementary. I do wonder if she'd stuggle less with some things now if I'd waited then. (she'll finish high school before she's 18 not but much)
Speaking as a teacher I have a student who is a freshman that is causing all kinds of problems. I really truly believe part of the problem is her age. She's 1 day younger than my child who is a junior. She does't associate with those in her grade she associates with kids her age but she doesn't have the experience those kids have because of her grade and it causes problems for her. I also have a student who was held out and then held back and he struggled at times last year because he was a sophomore who was older than some of the seniors.

So my advice don't just think about the ramifications of any decision on elementary but think about high school too.

my advice is, when in doubt, wait it out. you would much rather have a child that is ahead in something than behind. it is so much easier to help a kid that is ahead than one that is behind. i was always ahead in school and it gave me LOTS of confidence. when you are behind, it doesnt take long to feel bad about it. so no question, i would wait. theres always ECFE or learning readiness! and if you have a school that combines classes, it is easier for them to take a class ahead in one subject and behind in another.

S.,

I have a 5 year old who will be 6 in July and he will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall this year- we held him back becasue of the summer birthday and we felt he was not ready yet and I believe he is ready to go now, I am glad we did what we did in holding him back.....I have an older son who is in 3rd grade now but he went to kindergarten early, he was ready my youngest wasn't...all kids are different.

hope that helps! Good Luck!

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I have a daughter that is going to be 5 in May she is currently in headstart but still has the same problems that you are describing.. her headstart teachers recommended that we do headstart again next year... I have 3 grown children.. and I think we rushed them through.. the only one that didn't have major problems in school was 6 in kindergarten.. the other 2 were 5 and had ALOT of problems.. so with them as a guideline, I would rather have her repeat headstart than end up having problems later..
But each child is different.. I had one son that ended up being held back in 2nd grade and I feel it was very detrimental to his scholastic acheivements.. he was very upset that his friends went forward and he didn't..
So if there is any chance of problems, I feel starting kindergarten a year later is better than later problems when social is such a big issue!
I hope this helps.. you could also talk to a headstart of kindergarten teacher.. that might give you some insight
Hope it all works out
K. K.

1 mom found this helpful

WAIT, do not send your child...especially if it is a full day K ! As a K teacher for 18 years, I have had many friends, family, and classroom parents agonize about this decision. Their decisions have gone both ways. But, I have never had a parent regret keeping them home an extra year and had many regret sending the kids. At least 2 had their kids repeat K (with great success the second year- but lots of tears the first year). There is so much pressure to learn to read in K these days as a result of No child left behind. The amount of testing due to accountability is out of control. It seems great in theory, but when it is your 5 year old taking high stakes tests several times a year, perspective changes a bit.

Think of it long term...most kids born in the year 2003 have a life expectancy of around 100 years. Why rush school? If your child reads at 5 or 6 what difference does it make? If they live to 100 will it really matter if they read for 95 or 94 of those years?

1 mom found this helpful

Follow your heart, you know your son. If you think it would be better to wait, then wait and be confident in your decision. My daughter has an August birthday and we sent her to Kindergarten, having just turned 5. She has done great and I don't regret the decision. I know it's pretty typical for girls to be ready for school before boys, so this follows that line of thinking. My sister has a son who has the same August birthday as my daughter and she waited with him for the next year and has not regretted her decision. You know best.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi S. :)

It is definitely a tough decision, huh? I am a Kindergarten teacher and I know so many parents that struggle with the decision.

It sounds to me like your gut is telling you to wait a year. From the experience I have with parents, I have never met a parent who regretted waiting. Remind yourself that the decision is not about whether or not your child is bright enough---I am sure he is! :) All children come to school with gifts. I think you are wise to factor in the social/emotional piece. Kindergarten readiness is definitely about the social/emotional piece first and foremost. The academics always come... Don't get me wrong, they are important...but K is about learning to be a good friend (developing social skills), nurturing a love of learning, exploring curiousities, and having FUN!

Another mom posted about K not being the issue as much as the years that follow. I couldn't agree more. Your little guy would be just fine in K. There should be plenty of time for free exploratory play and gym time and outside time (though the k programs continue to get more intense--not a trend us teachers like to see). However, at least in my district---first grade is definitely a big jump from K and the free "choice time" just isn't there--the academic curriculum really takes priority (it has to as there is so much to cover). I also think about the adolescent years...puberty, driver's license, etc. These are all things I am sure you have thought about. :)

Do you have all day K and half-day? If you go with sending him, maybe half-day K is a good fit? That way, he would have half of his day with less structure and more opportunities for other activities to burn off that energy. :) For the extra busy little ones, sometimes all day k is just too much. This is particularly true for the little ones who are less interested in school right now (believe me---that will come) and more interested in free play time. Jeez...they are only 5...who wouldn't want more time to just play?! :)

You know your little cutie best. If you think he is ready, go for it. He'll be just fine. If you think you should wait a year, he'll be just fine then too. :) Best of luck with your decision.

Take care-L.

1 mom found this helpful

Paresonally I would start him. I am speaking of experience with a child who started older than the other kids. They sometimes feel left out because they are older, bigger, etc.
School has a totally different structure than home or daycare. I am pretty sure your son will do just fine. There will be planty of other kids his age in there with all different types of personality. Also maybe your son is bored and that is why he seems hyper. School gives them plenty of things to do in a very structured invironment. Again I would say to start him.

My daughter is in Kindergarten this year but was a winter baby. My son was a late winter baby and I enrolled him at 5 1/2.

I live in a small town so I know a lot of the moms with summer babies. There are different approaches. If their kids are summer bdays but seem to be bored at daycare or preschool they enrolled them in K. One Mom had them (twins) repeat K. This caused other problems like being left behind from their friends (they did adapt later in the year).

But other moms waited and seemed happy they did. This is the child's first experience with "real" school. You don't want them entering if they're not ready. Teachers would also advise you to wait if you think your child isn't ready yet. If they become disruptive because they aren't ready to handle K, it's not fair to the teacher, other kids and it sets a bad precedent for your child. I doubt the structure will calm him down.

My advice is to wait. It is not a failure on your part that he isn't ready. I have always heard the advise that if the child is a girl and only 5 that would usually be okay. If it is a boy and 5, it is usually best to wait until next year.

You know your child best. Don't worry if kids his age are entering school already. Do what is best for him.

Hi! I've been reading a lot of books on boys and based on brain development (later), maturity, and general social styles, I plan to have my son wait until he is 6 (and his birthday is in March). Boys are so much more active than girls are (in general) and forcing them to sit and learn when they're not genetically inclined to do so is akin to torture. And educators are now expecting more of kindergardeners then was expected of us. I'd wait!

Have him go through Screenings and round up. Get the advice of the teacher he spends the round up time with. There is another good option in some districts, some kind of pre-kindergarten. It's a 5 day a week, full day pre kindergarten program. Ask in your district if they have such a program. Gives lots of school experience and lets them mature to be ready for kindergarten the next year.
Good luck!

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