Kindergarten Concerns

Updated on March 03, 2010
J.M. asks from Omaha, NE
30 answers

Hello Moms,
I have a little girl who will be five at the end of May. My husband and I are having trouble deciding whether or not to send her to kindergarten next year. Socially she is absolutely ready. Academically - she is having trouble identifying letters and numbers, etc. As the preschool teacher said - she's too busy worrying about playing some times. However, recently, we've been working with her at home and things are "clicking" for her. (She can identify some letters, some numbers, etc.) We are also going to do a summer reading program that focuses on letter-identification, and fostering a love for reading (which she ALREADY has).

She LOVES to have books read to her and knows how to write her name, has her phone number and address memorized, and can zip her own coat. She's very independent and opinionated. She looks forward to school. I'm leaning towards sending her, but want some feedback.

The reason I hesitate is because of her late birthday and that she doesn't have a full grasp of some of the basics. I realize that we have more than four months to work with her, but I just don't know. I'd love to hear especially from mothers of daughters with summer birthdays - but of course would also like to hear from anyone who has "two cents."

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So What Happened?

After I read through my own original question, I realized I was really "building a case" for sending her to school. As some of you pointed out, I believe too much emphasis is put on academics in Kindergarten. In our district, the kids have full-day kindergarten -- half days are not an option. She already goes to daycare Mon - Wed. and preschool Mon., Wed. and Fri. I teach high school in the district where my daughter will attend school and so I was able to talk to some elem. teachers about this. They said that the k.g. classes are structured to focus on academics in the A.M., then lunch, then a quiet time (in which some childen fall asleep -- and they let them), then the rest of the day is mostly play.

I am not anxious for my daughter to grow up, but I feel like she's ready to go. I like the way our district has structured their k.g.s and it's also comforting to teach in the same district as both of my daughters. We're a small district too, so I feel like I know it as an insider.

I believe my daughter is indeed ready, but it was encouraging to hear all of the people who feel the same way. Many of you brought up very helpful and valid points that I had not considered prior to posting. I love MamaSource for this very reason. Adding new and varied perspective to your own is always a healthy thing and I thank you all for responding.

We will go to KG roudup in April, and just see. We can decide later this summer.

I will continue to check back if anyone else has anything to add!

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B.F.

answers from Des Moines on

My daughter is 6 and she is one of the older kids in her class since she was born in December, Every year my son went to sschool, she wanted to go also, but was unable because of her age. I would suggest that you send her and the worst thing that could happen is she gets held back in Kindergarten, which isin't really a bad thing. She would have a head start on things and would be more ready to grasp everything going on.

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A.W.

answers from Pocatello on

My daughter was born in may as well. We are going to be putting her in school next year. I don't think it really matters if she knows all the basics. My daughter knows some of her letters and some of her numbers, and she wants to go to school. I would rather start her this year, than wait another year and have her be about a year older than the rest of her classmates. We are just working with her slowly and that way she enjoys it. I would rather do that than cram it all in. We have found that she does better when there are no children around than if they are there, because she tries to do other things. My niece lives with us and she has homework every night, so we started doing my daughters at the same time, and that way she is used to it before she goes into school. This is working for us. They will all learn at their own pace, so it is totally up to you.

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B.L.

answers from Omaha on

J., you have to be so happy because she is one of the smart kids out there, she is going to be creative and fun all her life. Everyone worry about teaching her kids abc and numbers but the main thing is to be with them and she shows that. Kindergarden it is OK. I have a 2 1/2 year old she does not say 2 words at the time but she can play and make shapes and draw and do things that a 3 1/2 year old cannot do. Do not worry she is one of the friendly type. Lucky you.

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M.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

Hi J.,
I have a daughter who is in kindergarten this year, and I had some of the same concerns that you do. I opted to send my daughter and it was the best decision that I made! She has progressed so much, much more than I feel she would have if I would have waited another year. The teachers are incredible and have a way of making it fun to learn! As far as her being worried about playing, that is probably because that is basically what preschool is. They don't really have that option in kindergarten. They have set recess, but it is much more structured and education oriented than preschool is. I really think that you should send her and you will probably be surprised at how happy you are with your decision! Good Luck!

M. T.

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E.M.

answers from Omaha on

i would send her if in your shoes. Kindergarten is as much-- if not more-- about social skills than academic skills. So I would not be worried if she has not mastered her letters, she will in time. Every child learns at their own pace so do not be concerned that she is not at a level you would like for this stage. She will get there-- rest assured. And - for the record-- it doesn't sound to me like she is "behind" at all. She sounds like she is just fine where she is. She has the maturity to be in kindergarten and the interest in learning .. She will all pick it up before you know it. Frankly, I think we put far too much pressure on our children to attain 'facts' at a young age. The learning process is much more than that. She sounds like a great candidate for kindergarten.

Best of luck!

-E.

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J.K.

answers from Des Moines on

If she is excited about going, and does the things you say, writing name, knows address etc. etc. Then I would say that is great. She will learn her letters and numbers in Kindergarten. :)

I have a daughter Sarah who turns 5, July 25th, and she can not wait to start Kindergarten.

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A.B.

answers from Omaha on

My son has a late birthday, its at the end of September in fact. My plan is to start him in Kindergarten, I think he's probably ready. He too is a little bit behind, but he's very smart & I think he should catch up fairly quickly. I have no problems with it because both of my brothers started kindergarten at the same age. I get advice both ways, start them early it will be good for their developement & don't do it cuz he'll be the smallest in his class. I guess I've taken in to consideration everyone's concerns & have decided to send him & if he struggles or seems behind, I will hold him back to redo Kindergarten. I think the only way you can know whether or not your little one is ready is to let them try it!

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J.D.

answers from Billings on

I am one of those just with "two cents" :) My son is in November so he will have to wait just like I did (october).

Maybe something to consider is her age when she graduates. My husband was a june baby, so he was 17 when he graduated in may. He had a full ride offered to him from New York for wrestling and he turned it down because he had this girl friend that was still in school. 1 year can make a HUGE difference in your decision making process when you are 17, 18, 19. Priorities are different when your 17 turning 18, versus 18 turning 19.

I hope that helps :)

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A.C.

answers from Missoula on

My son's birthday is August 31. Last year he turned 5. I wish someone would have told me that I could wait another year before starting him, and since I have spoken with A LOT of mom's who wished the same thing. I was under the assumption that being 5 meant kindergarten and about 2 months ago my son's teacher told me that she felt he wasn't ready. She said that even just a few months can make a huge difference. My son is extremely smart, seriously. But attention span, ability to work under time constraints,(which kindergarten has) not to mention being the youngest kid in class are some of the things that would keep him behind the rest of the class, possibly causing him problems through out all of his school years. Right now, being the age that he is, the stigma of being held back is not that bad. But what about first grade, second, and so on. And oh how my heart is breaking, having to tell him that he has to do kindergarten again. Dad told him he gets his first dirt bike for graduating kindergarten, which you can imagine is a big deal. We are going to get it for him any way, and we will NOT be dissapointed in him, but how will I manage if he is dissapointed in himself? DON"T be in a hurry to see your child off to school, give her every advantage you can, even if that is another year. She may be ready, but why push it? Are you worried about what other people will think? If you are, don't. Soon enough, probably too soon, she will be gone half days and then full days at school. That time is precious too, but you only get this time with her once. And preschool is great, and it readies them to some degree, but again, why not give her any advantage you can. Maybe this is my own heartbreak talking, but I wish I had the decision to make over again with my oldest, and I know that my youngest, who's birthday is in June, will wait. I hope this helps.

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C.M.

answers from Sioux City on

I have a five year old boy who turned five in feb. I just had his preschool conferance and they said that he has been having alot of problems with identifing his letters and drawing pictures and writing. However they even said they think he should go on to kindergarten, rather then pre-kindergarten.(they offer both here) I feel the same way, because the experience will be good for him. More time durring the day because its a full day rather then half days (like preschool and pre-kindergarten).
I think you should give your daughter the experience of kindergarten now, let her try. If she doesn't make it then she'll have to go again, however she will be that much farther ahead then the other kids the next year. Sometimes it takes kids a minute to get it, and maybe she will and maybe she won't. But you are already seeing a difference, so why not try..She just might suprise you.
good luck

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H.M.

answers from Omaha on

I would say go for it! I had a birthday in late may and went when i was five and did swimmingly! My son will be 5 in September and we are seeing about putting him in come this fall as well. As long as he qualifys of course. And he seems about on the same track as your little one. I could count to 100, say my ABC's fully, knew my full name and could write it, knew my phone number but couldn't read well at all. I went to reading class for half of elementary school. I still did great always. Ended up in all advance classes in high school! LOL!! So Omaha schools did great for me. Even with my weaknesses. And I am quite certain they will take great care of my son. So best of luck to you if you decide to do it! I know I will need it! LOL!

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K.P.

answers from Grand Forks on

Hi J.,
As a kindergarten teacher and mother of a May birthday - I say go for it. Usually May birthdays are okay, it's when the birthday is later in the summer that parents should usually think twice. If your daughter can sit still and listen to a story for 15 minutes, she is on the right track. Don't worry about her knowing letters, numbers, etc. - that is what Kindergarten is for! There are many children who come in not knowing these things, and by Christmas are reading!

To me it sounds like she is ready, she is in preschool now, so she is used to a 'school' type setting. My daughter is also a May birthday and will be starting Kindergarten this fall. Go for it, and good luck! Keep up the good work by reading to her - this is the BEST thing you can do for your child!

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S.P.

answers from Sioux City on

First of all, only you know if your daughter is truly ready for kindergarten. I have a degree in Elementary education, and I teach pre-school, and from my experience, it sounds as if your daughter is ready for Kindergarten. Especially if she has been talking about it and looking forward to it. However, there is absolutely no harm in waiting a year. If you wait a year she will be even more emotionally and academically ready, and will probably be the top of her class. As for her being academically ready to go into Kindergarten this year, I can tell you that the thing Kindergarten teachers look for more than anything is if the child is emotionally ready. That is, that they are able to sit still for periods of time, able to follow directions, get along with their peers, communicate with their peers and teachers, that sort of thing. I would suggest talking to her pre-school teacher and getting her opinion on if she things your daughter is ready for Kindergarten. Hope this has helped!

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

She sounds like she's ready. They don't have to know all of that stuff before kindergarten. She'll relearn most of it during the year. On the other hand, it won't hurt her to wait another year. She'll be more mature, then. If she's used to going to preschool, the next grade won't be hard for her.

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S.U.

answers from Billings on

Send her! She will be stimulated by the school setting and the structure there will be helpful to her learning as well. Try not to worry! Kids learn at different ages and paces and Kindergarten teachers are more than aware of that. Plus, they will periodically test her learning areas and help you with ideas of what specifically to focus on and practice at home. That's my "two cents" :)

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A.B.

answers from Omaha on

Hi J.
Well, my sons birthday is Sept 12th and the preschool says he can move on to kindegarden. The elementary school said they prefer that kids actually wait until the next year whenever they have late birthdays. I said why and she said it was because of the maturity level I had only talked to her on the phone I talked to her for 45 min and she was very nice so it wasnt a hateful conversation. If you or we wait a year which we decided to do they will be really ready next year. Now she did say boys are not as mature as the girls but my neighbor has a girl whos birthday is in July whos sending this year as a 6 year old and shes so glad she waited.

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J.D.

answers from Grand Forks on

J.,
Well you need to do what you feel is right. My son is an end of July baby so he is right there. I felt it was right to let him go. He had been in an all day preschool and was doing wonderful. His Kindergarten is all day so it seems to be about the same. He really loves school but sometimes complains that school is to long. He could of probably waited another year but I felt it was the best for us. We just moved to a new state and this was a way for him to make new friends too. He is a little slow on speech and some other things but the school is working with him on that. I didn't have him tested I just put him in. They teach kids there letters and such. So I wouldn't be to worried about that. If you put her in and feel that it's to much for her you can always pull her out and start over next year. Good luck getting your baby off to a wonderful start in learning.
J.

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D.W.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi J.,
My son will be 5 in April. He doesn't know all of his letters or numbers, but he is getting there. He still writes his name wrong, because he swears that is how you write it. He can do the match game well (4 pics and cross out the one that doesn't match). Our preschool teacher said that writing his name and numbers are not skills that are required for Kindergarten. They work on that in Kindergarten. She also said that his skills will develop even more within the next few months. I am sending my son to Kindergarten because he is socially ready. He needs to develop his other skills, however, I am sure that he will gain those as he becomes more involved on a regular basis at school. Preschool is only 3 days a week for 2 hours which I do not believe is enough to gain a full understanding of the basics. :)

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

Next year I will be going throught the same thing my daughter will turn 5 on June 30. My hubby wants to send her and I want to hold her back! I guess that we have another year to see what to do!
Did you go to Kindergarten Round up? I think that you should do that and ask the teacher what she thinks! You can always get her inrolled and see how the summer goes and then if you still aren't sure then do another year of preschool. I have always been told that if you aren't 100% sure on if you should send them or not...Don't! It's not usually until 3rd or 4th grade that you will start to see her struggeling!

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T.R.

answers from Cheyenne on

My daughter has a birthday in May as well. She was one of the younger kids in her class but fit in quite well. There is a huge range of kids knowledge in kindergarten and I wouldn't worry about that really. If she is ready and you are ready then go for it. I did not feel that there was a difference the first few years of school. Having said that, I will let you know that I am currently homeschooling for 4th grade. I felt like the cattyness among the girls was bit much this year for her to handle. She was still naive enough to think that she could just be nice to everyone and that would be fine (sarcasm there). She didn't understand why two-three groups of girls were wanting her to choose to be friends with just them. Good luck -
tam

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S.C.

answers from Omaha on

hey here with my two cents. i would say ask the teacher if unsure, but trust the school to handle it well if all other signs point to yes go for it.

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T.M.

answers from Great Falls on

Hi J.,
I am going through the exact same deliberation with regard to sending my son to kindergarten this fall. His birthday falls right on the cut off date (Sept. 10 for the state of Montana).
Like your daughter, he has strengths in some areas and lags a bit in others.
The "Kindergarten Round-up" was last Friday at our school so we went in and had him tested for his kindergarten readiness. It did help me get clearer about when we'll get him started. The final deciding factor will be whether or not the school district changes its program to full-day kindergarten (whereas he won't go until 2008).
At the readiness testing they did a number of activities with him - from running, skipping, hopping, catching a ball, and managing scissors, to assessing the clarity of his speech and testing his eyes, to assessing his familiarity with numbers, shapes, colours, letters, to testing him on his problem-solving and positional concepts, and finally observing his general behavior, cooperation, willingness to try new things and following directions. Whew, we had no idea it would be such a thorough process but, luckily, there were cookies involved!
The kindergarten teacher told me that, even though he is only 4 1/2 right now, he did meet all criteria for kindergarten entrance. More than academics, they really want to make sure that a child is eager to learn, has enough confidence to be away from home during the duration of school, and is behaviorally ready, ie. can sit and listen, and follow directions.
My suggestion to you is to call your school and arrange to have your daughter assessed. You will meet the teacher, see the classroom, and can discuss your reservations with the teacher. As a result of the testing,(which for the kids is really done in a low-key, fun, and supportive way) she will make suggestions to you about what to keep working on with your daughter to increase her readiness. It does sound, though, that you are already right on top of that.
My final two cents, from the info you gave in your query, is that your daughter does seem ready for kindergarten in the fall. A question for you is, "Are you ready?" I looks like she is your baby and I can relate to wanting to not release my kids out into the bigger world of the public school too soon. I am trying very hard to not let that be a factor in our final decision! Darn, I wasn't expecting to have so much angst about school until at least middle school and here I am pulling my hair out about kindergarten!
The best of luck to you!
T.

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B.L.

answers from Boise on

Hi my name is b.lee, i totally understand the kindergarten concerns! my daughter's birthday is in June. she was the oposite of your daughter. she was quick to pick up the learning stuff. but she was not ready socially. she had NEVER been with ANYONE outside the family-no daycares nothing. so she was very fearful. i finally pulled her out the first year and petioned the school for her to go the next year.
one fun way to help your daughter is to make a game of learning. a great way is to make cards and play match games; start with only a couple of letters possibly the letter in her name. make a double set and lay maybe 2 pairs to start with. then add the other letters as she gets the hang of it! its fun and kids pick up the "matches" really fast! my oldest could add before he started school simply by playing cards with him! color are pretty fun too. let her cut out things of a certian color...
anyways i hope this helps! peace and love b.lee
ABOUT ME: i am a wife of 27 years. a mom of two awesome young adults and a grandma of a 9.5 month old joy of my life!

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M.H.

answers from Omaha on

I think if she is ready socially and things are clicking with her at home on an academic basis...she could fully bloom in a Kindergarten class. It's amazing what the structure and real class atmosphere can do for a child who has the ability to learn

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A.R.

answers from Omaha on

She can always go to Kindergarten for two years. Send her and if she isn't ready to move on after a year then she can stay in Kindergarten another year.

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W.S.

answers from Boise on

I say keep her at home and let her "do school" there until you feel she is ready--really ready--for school. You may find that you don't want to send her to school at all! A kid's job is play, and I feel that schools put a lot of emphasis on work and not enough on play. I don't think that 5 years old is too old to play, do you? I've homeschooled my son all his school age years (he's 7 almost 8) and only now am I considering sending him to school this coming fall. I'm still undecided because I believe that home is where children should be, not off in school or day care for XX hours a day. Each family makes their own choices, and I wish you the best!

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C.H.

answers from Lincoln on

I'd go ahead & send her to Kindergarten.

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R.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Davian knows all of his colors and numbers, alphabets he's taking spelling test an doing well.He is working on addition,subract donig good with that as well.Davian is reading story's was well plus learning 2 languages spainsh,sign language.

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

She would either be the oldest in her class or the youngest. If she's the youngest, you'll have to contend with the fact that all of her friends may acquire things first. (why can't she). A friend of my husbands was one of the youngest ones and he never really cared for that because he was always one of the last ones to get to do things. He always felt like he was playing catch up. by the time he got to do something, everyone else was one to something else and it was old hat.

Myself, being one of the oldest in my class, I got things like my permit, DL, etc. before most everyone else.

My sister's Bday was always over xmas break and so it sort of fell along the lines of summer bdays. you don't get the actually chance to celebrate in school which was kind of a bummer for her. Sure she got to do 1/2 bday, but not quite the same.

As far as knowing letters and numbers, I would think kids would know them before kindergarten (as that's what preschool is for), but my son may be atypical. He knew all his letters and number by age 3 and their sounds. We got the bath letters and also LeapFrog's The Letter Factory.

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C.

answers from Casper on

My theory is why grow them up so fast. I waited with my son who also has a May birthday. In fact both of my children have May birthday's and my daughter will be 4 this coming May. I will just wait it out. I was the room mother in my son's Kindergarden class room 3 days a week. There were so many children that were just 5 and they were so small and so young. They do eventually get it but I think that it is stressfull for them when we push them too hard. My son is now in 1st Grade, reading at a 4th grade level. I would rather have my child ahead of the game than behind. And like I said before, what is the hurry in growing them up! Good Luck!

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