Should I Hold My Daughter Back?

WAIT WAIT WAIT, My daughter has an August birthday and she was so ready to start kindergarten and did great. It wasn't until about 4th grade that she started having issues not academic but social wise. She is now 16 turning 17 and going to be a Senior. She has a 3.5 grade point average but is young. I wish I had given her the advantage of waiting another year. Some of her friends in the same grade are 17 &18 already a big difference in a lot of ways. I urge you to give her the gift of time. Please wait it will be so much better in many ways. I have no doubt if she goes she will do fine but why not let her be the leader, older, and confident one of her class. Good luck

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I've been teaching for 20 years (mostly primary grades and special education) and I'm the mom of 2 boys. My thoughts would be give her the opportunity to experience Kindergarten and see what she picks up easily and what will require more focus. She may surprise you and do very well! Sometimes children learn better from someone other than parents.... at least it seems to happen that way. Keep in close contact with her teacher (it's really OK to be the mom who asks REPEATEDLY if their child is progressing as expected). If she isn't making the progress you hope for then consider an additional year in Kindergarten or additional services. It's important to keep in mind that children who take on 2 languages early in life may initially progress at a more leisurely pace. The research shows that although they may experience a lag in academic progress initally within 3 years they have closed any gap that might have exsisted. If she's learned these 2 languages from native speakers (or truly fluent speakers) then she has a LIFELONG gift of being bilingual (which is a GREAT asset in today's world). She obviously has a strong capacity to learn as she's already taken on 2 languages. You'll know if she needs more time and if she does, by all means, give her the "gift of time" by allowing another year in kindergarten. Kindergarten is the foundation for the rest of her education!!! Most importantly, follow your daughter's lead...she'll let you know what she needs!!!

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Hi I.,

I've been an educator for almost 10 years now. I agree that the standards can be quite difficult for 100% of the student population to meet. The state of California only requires that 80% of the class meet the standards that they set. This means 20% of the class can be below grade level expectations. None the less, it's not easy for children who are just not developmentally ready.

I think you should be praised for your awareness and concern for your daughter. Though you may think she's socially ready for kindergarten, if she's not academically ready, then you should give her the gift of time and let her be a kid. Another year of preschool will only build her confidence level that much more. She is too young to already have the pressure of meeting the standard and it is up to you to make sure that her school years have a positive influence. These next two years are crucial in establishing the building blocks of her education.
Also, you'd much rather hold her back now, then when she enters grade school. Just think about it. I know that it is not an easy decision, but you have the ability to help her and you know what is the becaring st choice because you her mother.

I hope this helps, I can't tell you how many times I've had this talk with parents of my first grade students. They almost always regret that they pushed their child and wished that they would have allowed them to enjoy their preschool for one more year.

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I., you're probably getting a ton of replies on this topic. I would strongly encourage you to enroll her into the Kindergarten class. The bar is higher than when we were kids because of mandates now. She will probably do very well with the daily consistency of being with the teacher(s) and other 5 year olds. If she needs extra attention, the teacher will discuss it with you. I know it's hard, my almost 6 year old just finished Kindergarten in June & he is developmentally delayed..we thought about holding him back, but our school district actually doesn't do that here. He did better than we had hoped for & we are very happy with his progress! He'll be in the 1st grade next month..

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I generally do not give advice unless I feel strong about something. If your daughter is mature enough emotionally and socially then please do not hold her back. A good teacher has a way about them that makes your child expand and grow. Holding her back will only hold her back from learning. The teachers will help expand her mind and desire to learn. Also, being around other kids learning the same things will excite her as well. I hoped I helped.

This is just my opinion and your ultimately her mother and needs to make the choice you feel is best!

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Dear I.,
As a teacher I would recommend starting kinder this year. If it doesn't go well then you can have her repeat kindergarten. As a parent you can request that. I do agree that the standards are very high. I encourage you to take a look at the California State Standards found on the California Department of Education website. These are standards that should be mastered by the END of kindergarten, not before your daughter starts kinder. Kindergarten focuses on learning letters, sounds, putting sounds together to make words, learning to read sight words, and short vowel words. They need to know how to count to 100, recognize numbers, begin to add, subtract, etc. These are things that they will LEARN in kindergarten. I would not stress about what she knows now. Focus on learning to write her name, singing ABCs, begin to play with sounds, count together, and read to her everyday! My daughter is 4 and she loves to play on a website called www.starfall.com and this website makes learning the letters/sounds fun! Don't push your daughter but rather find fun ways to make learning a game rather than WORK. Worksheets have never worked and never will. It is through interacting that learning happens and makes it stay in the long term memory. Always remember that all children learn at different rates and that is OKAY and perfectly NORMAL. If you do decide to start her in kinder then ask your child's teacher if she can talk to you one day after school to discuss your concerns and get your child's teacher's opinion. Usually teachers love when parents are as involved as you are with your child's education and may have some great ideas for you. I wish you and your daughter well!

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If she is on target with her maturity, she will learn as she goes. I would not hold her back from starting kindergarten. But if she is struggling by the end of the year, she can repeat kindergarten if she needs more time.

Attitude is everything-she has to want to learn and love the experience. If she doesn’t, she can build up a resistance to learning and find it to be work. You don’t want that!! That's the most important gift you can give her-the love of learning. Regardless of where she is with recognizing letters/numbers, without that skill, learning will always be a battle for her. Forget reading and teach her to love learning. It will pay off in the end.

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I.,
I don't have any experience that will allow me to help you with your question of whether to hold your daughter back or not, but based on the birthdays of both of my children I likely will have to address that same question in a few years. Hopefully your daughter's preschool teacher and prospective kindergarten teacher can provide you with some helpful guidance. However, I would like to echo one suggestion from an earlier response. My 3 1/2 year old daughter had no interest in learning to recognize or write letters until I bought the Leap Frog "Letter Factory" DVD. She loves watching it and within a couple weeks she learned to recognize all the letters and is now trying to write them on her own. Perhaps this is a way to provide your daughter the confidence she needs through a fun learning experience. My 2 year old also loves to watch the video. It is one of the few videos I will let both of them watch at any time because it teaches them, and reinforces, basic skills rather than just entertaining them. I also have the DVD "Meet the Numbers" (from Preschool Prep Company)- not as entertaining and doesn't keep their interest as well, but I think my daughter did learn her numbers by watching it. Good luck!

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Simply put....You never hear of anyone regretting that they held their child back, but you will hear all the time ... I wish I held my child back!

You know your child best and whatever you do will be the right thing. Being on the other end with a child that needed to be challenged more than what Kinder had to offer, the most important thing I did was create an open dialogue with the teacher. Make your own choices for your own child. You and your child will LOVE school!

Hi I.,

I would not hold her back. She sounds completely normal. There are tons of kids that going into kindergarten that don't know how to spell their names, let alone how to write out the alphabet. Some can't hold a pencil correctly or handle a pair of kids scissors. This is a place she will learn to become social with other children. She is not expected to be a whiz at anything. It should be more fun for her than anything, and usually homework is made up of creative art things to do.
If you hold her back, it will be strange when she id older and her body and mind is maturing before everyone else's in class. I have seen so many children go into kindergarten and they walk in and look like complete babies still, but by the end of the school year have grown in so many ways. She'll be fine. Although if she thinks you don't want her to go, then obviously she wont want to go, but if you make it seem like the coolest thing ever, she will be curious and want to go to school.

Thanks
A.

We just went round and round with this. My daughter is going to 1st grade after almost being held back in kindergarten. She now has an IEP and is in an intense summer program. She is very bright and mature for her age, that is why she needs to move ahead with her class. You have to be willing to work with your kids these days. The bar is set high, as times have changed. Depending on what school you are in, will matter a lot, as will the teacher. My advice is if you send her, work with her, monitor her and keep in contact with the teacher. Don't let it be June and learn that she still has problems.

Hi I., My daughter (now 37) has an end of Oct. birthday. She went to Kindergarten twice. The first year she was very social and not interested in learning. The second year the school had one teacher in an afternoon class for "mature" kindergarteners. She did well with numbers and letters. Every child developes at a different pace. Just stay tuned to where she is like you are doing. Good Luck, Aunt Maddie

I am a kinder teacher and advice you to enroll her. All kids develop at their own pace, especially in the early academic years.
Yes, bar is tooo high. If she finishes kinder writing her name and other simple word,attempting to read, knowing her letters and most sounds, counting, writing and recognizing numbers beyond 30 and somewhat liking school she will be fine. Don't worry about immaturity, its expected.Remember she has all year and it is okay to take all year.

I.:
Can she sit through a half hour to an 45 minute story time at the library without wandering off? Also do you count her "age" from her actual due date? If you did that she would probably be the youngest child in the class. Even with a September birthday she will still be one of the youngest if not the youngest. Some kids will be a whole year or close to a year older than her. Also consider this: if a child gets held back further down the road it really effects their self esteem. Better too wait and put her in a more highly academic preschool or prek program than have her held back in first or second grade when it can be much more determental.

Hello I.
I have a five yearl old who also speaks two languages. in my case is Spanish and English in which both languages have the same letters in the alphabet, that might be a reason???, also kids have stages where they don't feel like following any structure format of learning, but they can sense very well how WE, parents, feel about any issues, I will advice you to be patience with her and don't give up in the teaching, try to make it fun: have letters in the bath tub, in the placemat where she eats, and when you are on the street, show her signs and ask her about the letters that she recognized, you will be surprised to see how she remebers some. I don't know if the academic spectations are too high, but I do know that our kids are exposed to a technology that did not exist when we were little.Try to be natural, remeber is a learning process and every child is different. don't pressure yourself or her with what the books are saying. She has her OWN learning process which you are following very close. I hope this helps, My name is M..

I'm a kindergarten teacher and to me, it doesn't sound like your daughter needs to be held back. You said she is mature and immaturity would be a reason to hold a child back. Children do not need to know all the letters or numbers when they enter kindergarten. It would make it easier, but those are what they actually learn in kindergarten. To help her practice the letters and numbers, do it in a fun way. Start with the letters in her name, so they mean something to her, then move on to the letters in the rest of the family's names, friends, etc. You can get magnetic letters and spell things/names. There are also all kinds of toys out there that help practice letters and numbers. You can look into those. I would also recommend the Leap Frog videos, especially Letter Factory. It teachers the letters and sounds in a fun way. There's also one with numbers, but I can't remember the name of that one. I have seen these videos at Target and Toys R Us. Also read to her a lot - let her pick the books. You can also go to educational stores like Lakeshore or Education Station and see what kind of resources they have there. The standards are much higher now. Kindergarten students now are doing what first and second graders were doing 10-15 years ago. But try not to put too much pressure on her so she isn't turned off to learning. Make it all fun and point out letters and numbers as you see them around. Talk to the teachers in her "reading" classes to get some feedback about her progress. Once she starts school, keep in contact with her teacher and let her/him know your concerns. S/he will be able to give you more information as s/he gets to know your daughter. Good Luck!

It never hurts to hold children back a year. Two of my three were held back...one because he wasn't ready for holding a pencil and still was using a fist...also not interested in paper work... the other because he was 3 weeks early and very small for his age. They both did extremely well the next year. If you hold them back early, they will not struggle and hate school for the rest of their academic career. Kindergarten today is more like 1st grade use to be.The standards require all kinds of reading and paper work. Being behind in school academics can cause I child to not like school and feel dumb.
I recommend finding her a good pre-kindergarten (a preschool specifically for children that are not quite ready for Kindergarten, but Kindergarten age) for the year and let her get use to school routine and develop hand coordination and interest in academics. Also read a lot to her pointing to the words and asking questions about the story and the pictures. Developing a real interest in books in books is more important than her struggling to read right now (reading early is not an advantage...understanding the books and being really interested in them is.) My children that I held back and they didn't learn to read until 6 years where reading 5-6 grade books by 3rd grade and top readers. I would not push her in "reading classes" at this age. Let her use her imagination in her pretend games and encourage hand coordination with play dough and coloring. Develop interest in books. She sounds like the pre-Kindergarten would really help her become ready for her future in academics...pushing reading will not:) I especially recommend this since she was born before full term.
H.
PS. I do not know where you live, but I have two friends who have daughters in a pre-K in Long Beach and I could find out specifics if Long Beach, CA is near you.

I would hold off and not push her. You want her to enjoy school and if things are hard and she struggles she won't enjoy it. My parents held off with me and I think it is the best thing they could have done for me both socially and academically.

My response is similiar to Marla's, at my son's preschool they have what is called Jr. Kindergarten. It is for the kids that have outgrown preschool, but aren't quite ready for Kindergarten. I think that this would be ideal in your situation. That being said, if the school she is at does not have this "transitional" kindergarten I would go ahead and enroll her in Kindergarten. From what you have said it sounds like she will need the challenges that Kindergarten can provide. I think it is better to try and keep her stimulated rather than have her get bored. I agree with what you are saying though, I am pretty sure I wasn't reading, writing etc in Kindergarten.

I have a 5 year-old son who is very social but had a speech problem. The private school my older son goes did not have a preschool but what they did allow me to do is have (at that time 4 year-old) attend Kinder (he has to do kinder 2 years). My son did not know any of his letters or numbers (keep in mind he was not talking so we were just concentrating on speech). My son did wonderful, even though he was the lowest in the beginning of the school, he now is reading and spelling small words of course. He is ready now for his 'Real' kinder year. Your daughter sounds like she is just right to start Kinder, kids are like sponges and she will pick up the academics quickly. If not, talk to the teacher, they can always adjust the lectures and if she has to do two years of kinder that will be better than preschool. Do what is best for your daughter in my case it worked out great and my son did not feel overwhelm. Good luck

Hi I.,
I am an elementary school teacher and am delighted that a parent is thinking through whether or not their child is ready. Most often, most parents don't work this through until their child is halfway through the school year and the teacher is recommending that the child repeat kindergarten. Please keep in mind, it is far more emotionally traumatizing for a child if they are retained in kindergarten (with their friends moving on and your child not) than to stay in preschool for another year. Although social/emotional aspects are important in school, your child's ability to focus and learn is equally important. After all, that is the reason that she will be attending school. If your child is disinterested in learning, I would suggest waiting a year. Buy some good workbooks for home that you can work on with her (such as printing all of her letters and numbers), learning to write her name, developing hand eye coordination, paper cutting skills, counting to 100, and work on learning English, All of these essential skills will put your child at an advantage and make learning fun and interesting not challenging in disinteresting.

Hi I.!
I am a third grade teacher and I teach at a private school in RSM. The school actually for many years did not let the children in knidergarten until they were almost six. (I have taught both 5th and 3rd at this school as well as in public school.) I see a huge advantage of entering school at a later age. All the things you say your daughter lacks in, maturity especially, gives me a red flag for you to wait. Also, her being a preemie could be another very great reason to wait.
My two daughters are August babies. I put them in kindergarten the next month in both cases. I believed they were ready. If I could go back and do it all over again I would have waited the year. One daughter struggles because of dyslexia, the other is a straight A student, but she is one of the youngest in her high school class. When they are young they are pressured earlier to date, one of the last ones to drive, shoot they will graduate at 17. All good future reasons to "wait"!
Bottom line I could give you a dozen reasons to wait and no real reason why not to wait. Don't be pressured to do it because it is the easy thing to do or because others pressure you to do it.

When in doubt, wait. I started K early and was always behind socially but not with the work. So finally in 8th grade I held MYSELF back, BEST decision I ever made.

I agree with you on kids having to know too much too early. We played in kindergarten . Just really getting to socialize. But my grandson will be 5 in november and my Daughterin-law is going to wait a year so he will go to preschool in september.

Have you had her eyes checked? If not, do it to make sure she's not having a problem reading clearly. Then, maybe consider a Transitional Kindergarten class. It's a class for kids beyond pre-K but not quite ready for K. Trans-K classes seem to be popping up more. Good Luck.
M.

hi i wouold try pre-k. this can prepare her more for kindergarten

I am a kindergarten teacher in San Diego. I fully believe because of the high standards set that all students should be 5 before they enter kindergarten - even though our state law doesn't agree. She will be in a class with other kids who will start turning 6 in December. It is a huge gap. There is nothing wrong with giving your child the gift of time. Time sometimes is all a child needs to thrive academically and feel successful. As a parent you should be aware that many premature children may have learning disabilities. I am not trying to scare you - or sentence your daughter she may not. I just want you to be aware of her progress and pay attention to her academic success. Some teachers will just say, "oh she's just young." As a teacher and a parent I would want to be aware so if my child needs help they get it sooner rather than later and end up hating school.

Please do not be concerned, I have 5 year old twin boys who are at totally different levels, one loves to read etc., one is absolutely not interested. I feel at this age you should not push them to much, once in Kindergarten the teacher will let you know if there is a problem and if she/he feels the child should be kept back instead of moving on to 1st grade.

Preschool for me is only to prepare them for sitting in a classroom and listening to the teacher, this should be a fun time for them so that they learn to enjoy the process of learning.

Please do not worry.

If there is any question you should wait. I had the same thoughts about my son, and we went ahead and sent him. Then he ended up doing 4th grade twice. It would have been alot easier just to wait one more year befor kindergarden. Good luck.
Dana
www.southernlivingathome.com/danacarey

Hi
I may not have any good advice but I just wanted to give my opinion =)
As a swede myself I find it so much easygoing in Sweden. Kids aren't pushed to anything even when they start kindergarten (which starts at age 6) or even first grade - each child learns in their own pace. My 5 year old daughter will be held back kindergarten for another year. One reason is that her Swedish is so much stronger but also that I am not sure she is academically ready...a friend of mine said that when her son started school he all of a sudden started hating books (that he used to love) because he had too much pressure on him at school......I think that is a pretty scary thought. If you feel that maybe your daughter isn't ready, maybe an idea would be to wait? Or is it possible to take them out from kindergarten if it doesn't work out?
Good luck
-S.

Hi I., I am wondering why you are second guessing yourself. You already know in your heart that your daughter is not ready for kindergarten. Most children are 6yrs old in kindergarten these days. Why make school a struggle for her, and if you do now, it most likely won't get easier later. Listen to yourself.

i am with you, i think the bar is set too high. on the other hand if she has been in pre school and is still having trouble like this, she is not really ready for kindergarten. my oldest daughter could not recite the alphabet or recognize numbers but i pushed her into kindergarten when she turned five. she has struggled everyday since. she is now repeating the fourth grade. if you dont feel your child is quite ready for kindergarten, you do not have to put them in there.

As a teacher, I would say to try kindergarten. If she struggles you can hold her back then but it is worth seeing how she does. Plus, if you are sending her to a public school they can offer items to help her but you will have to be ready to fight for them.

Hope that helps,
K.

Hi I.,
I noticed you said your daugther likes to play pretend. One suggestion a friend gave me (she does it) and it works great with my son (4) is to "play school." I put on a pair of fake glasses, use an English accent and pretend he is at school he must call me Mrs. "last name" while he is at school. She has her son get ready in the morning, put on his backpack, walk to the curb and back and ring the doorbell when he gets to it. When she opens the door she welcomes him to "pre-school" Then at the end of the school day he does it again, this time returning home. It changes their mind frame for that time. My son LOVES it! He asks everyday..."can we play school Mommy?!" And I know it's helping him tons on his learning. Just a suggestion I received that works wonders for us. Good luck!

I...

Enroll her in a Pre-K program (getting ready for Kindergarten) at Tutor Time.
The class size is smaller and she will learn her social skills and have more time with her teacher. It is much less expense than a private school.

I placed my child in Kindergarten early only to have to take him out by Christmas.
He was developed academically, but wanted to play more than settle down.

He was placed back into kindergarten after his year at Pre-K. They prepare kids for Kindergarten in a loving environment. And he was even ahead!!!

Best of luck,
M.

Kids are currently being academically pushed to their developmental limits by the inane school system. Having said that, this is the world we live in, and we must take care to not destroy our kids in the process. Don't mean to freak you out, but you might want to consider that your child may have some learning disabilities, If so, deal with them not, or you're in for a world of problems.

Sounds to me like your instnct to hold her back may be spot on. I would not do that without having her learning profile evaluated by a repuable testing psychologist, and educational therapist. Unfortunately 5 is too young to get accurate test scores, but good intuitive people should be able to offer some insight. I would also find a pre school that offers a good transitional kindergarten program.

Hi I.!
I am a special ed teacher and I have to say, I have the opposite opinion of most of the teachers here. I feel that if you have any doubts, wait! I have never seen a case of a parent regretting waiting an extra year, but there is definitely a social stigma with kids repeating a grade. If your daughter is not ready, it could be a difficult year for both of you and why do that if you don't have to. I don't think there is an elementary teacher around that doesn't agree that the bar is way too high. In some European countries, they don't even begin teaching reading skills until age 7. And those are some of the countries that our current system uses to instruct programs here. A bit of a disconnect don't you think. Unfortunately, such decisions are made by bureaucrats, not educators. From personal experience, I was 8 weeks premature with an end of November birthday. My mom was a teacher and decided to hold me out another year. I think it was the best decision she ever made. My husband, on the other hand, has a December birthday and was always the youngest in his class. He hated it and wished his parents had held him out another year. Remember-you know your child best. Go with your instinct. Good luck!

the bar is high...actually I believe over the years it has changed because of all the children entering preschool 2 or 3 years before kindergarten and being taught all of that there. If your child is not ready, you can just tell the teacher to let up and allow for your child to just enjoy herself without the extra pressure. You don't want her to hate school and learning at such a young age. Then she can do kindergarten 2 times. They aren't required to enter until gr. 1 so if she has some what of a positive experience her transition will be less painful. If the teacher is forcing all the academics on your daughter she could really be set back with emotional problems...you don't need that. My daughter peed her pants in Kinder because of a really loud and mean teacher. I moved her right away and found the next teacher to be very loving and kind. She then excelled. No more wetting the pants.

Sadly, our society bases kindergarten admission on calender age rather than developmental age. Even though your daughter was 10 weeks premature, she still meets the age criteria to enter kindergarten. However, I've seen some gifted children who do not meet the age criteria and are forced to wait an extra year to start kindergarten. It's all backwards.

From what I've been told from kinder teachers is that it's their job to teach letter and number recognition, etc. The only thing they want from a child when they enter kindergarten is the ability to sit, listen, and follow directions. The behavior is most important and the academics will come later. Our society pushes academics at much too early of an age and I wouldn't worry about your daughter at all. What an advantage and gift she has being bilingial!!!

What I would do is have her evaluated. I highly recommend Chancy and Bruce in Huntington Beach. Check out their website www.chancyandbruce.com. They do developmental evaluations and can help you determine if your daughter is ready for kindergarten. Good luck!!!

When my kids were starting school they went through "kindergarten testing". It was a for determining whether they are emotionally or socially ready. My older one went on to start kindergarten on time but my younger one who has a late August birthday, was recommended to go through a year of "begindergarten".It was geared for "young 5's". It had nothing to do with whether she knew her numbers or letters. My daughter knew plenty of numbers and letters. So, I wouldn't keep your daughter out if you beleive she is socially and emotionally ready. The rest she will learn in school. That is what kindergarten is for. Sometimes I think we feel if our kids aren't able to read before they start school then they aren't ready. Don't beleive that for a minute.

Hi I.,

You're the only one that can determine if your daughter is truly ready to start school. Every child is different. Just trust your instincts. I started my son at 5 years old because that is the age kids start kindergarten, right? I honestly felt that he wasn't ready but I thought it was just the mom in me being a worrier. Well, he's now in college but he struggled from day 1 to catch up. He rarely ever got good grades and still feels like he isn't that smart. I truly wish I would have listened to myself instead of what I thought society expected. Follow your instincts. Good luck.

LL

I think the bar is pretty high, every kid is not going to be reading at 5, some will, but if your child isn't reading at 5, it should not be anything to be concerned about. I would spend more time reading TO her and I don't think Kindergarten would be too frustrating. She'll do fine.

I don't think the bar is set too high at all. I was advanced, but could write in cursive at that age, or so my Mom says. I know I could at least write words. She should be able to recognize numbers and letters by now, but Kindergarten will help her be more interested. All you can do is try it. If she is not ready, they will tell you. At that point, you can either keep her in and have her repeat it, or you can have her go to pre-school.

Hi, my name is M., I am a grandmother of nine! Only 1 girl. My husband has been a kindergarten teacher for many years in So. Cal. He also teaches a reading recovery class. It is a one on one program for first through 3rd graders that are behind in their reading skills. I would speak for him by saying overwhelmingly, do not retain her, she is ready and doing very well. I know I wanted my children to excell and pushed really hard so they would be well prepared. I have raised 3 children, and your daughter is very bright, in fact she may be gifted. Mine were. learning for children needs to be fun. Not just presented in a fun way like the alphabet song we think is fun, but learning what she thinks is fun. Encourage her pretend games, let her know you will play with her if she wants and follow her lead. Give her paper and crayons and let her make her own picture and ask her to tell you what is happening in the picture and let her know you like the lines or colors, ect. A reading class may not be what she needs right now. The fact that she is bi-lingual will give her a great advantage. One thing I will say is, her seeing you read for your pleasure and if she wants you to read to her, is a great start for future love of reading. See what she likes to have you read. Many children today don't know basic nursery ryhmes. A simple book with things like the 3 little kittens that lost their mittens or jack and jill went up the hill. Then stop if she's not interested. But if she is, maybe play act it out with her. If you have mittens or gloves, especially 3pr. It could be fun to introduce the poem with the mittens first and ask things like which pair does she like best and what a silly idea to put mittens on kittens and the fact that in english the two words rhyme. Another idea is to let her do tearing of colored construction paper and glue it on a paper. Ask her what do the torn pieces look like to her (sort of like finding shapes in clouds). Let her use the little kid scissors with safety tips (with supervision of course) and let her cut paper, maybe a heart shape for a card. Children need alot of play. I am an artist and I can tell you art is free. She can tear the paper off those crayons and break them, use them sideways or three at a time. I recomend no coloring books and staying in the lines. Let her just create! Sidewalk chalk is fun too! A childs job is to play carefree. She will learn and open up to you as she delights in her play and lets you join. Praise her when she is creative on her own and does something new. she seems a delightfull child and will have alot of fun in Kindergarten! She has a lot to offer her peers and teacher! Best wishes, M.

Hi I.. I have a daughter who squeaked by the admissions cut off by 7 days. She was not as engaged as the other students in kinder initially but she did begin reading while in kindergarten. I worked as a school psychologist where I sat with numerous parents regarding this very issue. Although each case is different, I'd suggest a school that offers either a School Readiness Language Development program (SRLDP)which meets for about 2 1/2 hours four days a week or a prep kinder program where the curriculum is presented at a slower pace. If you choose a regular kinder program, I'm sure your child will flourish because you are taking such an active role. Look at the pro's and con's. Good luck!

I think you could hold her back and it would not be a disaster, but perhaps you could meet with the teachers or administrators at the school she's supposed to start first and see what they advise. She sounds like she may be ready socially.

I am sure that her being fluent in 2 languages will be a huge asset to her in many ways, and I don't think it affects her interest in learning to read. My niece and nephew both were bilingual, but one loved academics and the other did not. one read very early and the other did not. Also, as mentioned in other responses, you really want to foster the love of learning, not just pound letters into her! If she loves to learn she will, when she's ready.

I do think the academic bar is high, but I also think an aware teacher and sensitive school will be able to work with her. .

best of luck and keep up those two languages!

Hi I.,
There is an actual list of what they should know entering Kindergarten. It sounds like she is not ready acedemically. I would hold her back otherwise she will struggle and be behind her entire school career.
In the meantime, I would enroll her in Pre-K for a prep year and get some educational videos that are fun but she wont realize she is learning. Leap Frog letter factor is AWESOME. She will learn letters and sounds without realizing it. You can also get the fridge phonics by leap frog to go with it.
Give her the year but also take full advantage of the year to prepare her.
Good Luck!
T.

hi I., you still have time to work with her, the bar is set higher than when we were kids, but times have to change and grow, i have 2 daycare kids who just finishe kendergarten, one can read really well one can not, one can tie his shoes one can not, and its the younger kendergrder that can. you need o inforce some traing before school starts, it starts here, and you want her tohave a good start, holding her back will just be agreeing with her that she's can't do it, you need to show her the opposite. J.

First of all I would like to say that yes...the state standards are much more advanced these days then they were 28 years ago! The expectations are higher! With that being said, I think the choice is yours to make and yours alone. Do what feels right to you. My son, now entering second grade, was much like your daughter when he entered Kinder. He had been in preschool, but was not interested in learning only playing. When he finished preschool, he was able to identify 3 letters, maybe 2 numbers, his colors, tie his shoes, and he was working on writing his name. I worked with him during the summer before he started, and he made a tremendous leap, but still i was worried about how he was going to do in the classroom. I still sent him, he had an amazing kinder teacher, and he did great, socially, and academically (he was one of the top in his class). So do what you feel is best for your daughter because only you know.

Hi I.,

As a former teacher, and a parent who waited an extra year before beginning school, I HIGHLY recommend waiting another year.

There is no downside to waiting an additional year, but plenty of downsides to starting kindergarten too early. Your daughters self esteem and academic abilities may be very negatively impacted by the frustration she will feel.

And, yes, you are right that academics are pushed earlier than every before.

Please give your daughter the gift of another year. I did, and my daughter is now thriving in school.

All the best,

N.

I'm not there yet, my kids are 2 y.o. and 6 mo. (the second was born 2 months early) but my knee jerk reaction is give her the opportunity to step up and if it doesn't work out, just do Kindergarten again. Or go speak to the K. teacher at the school and see if their "professional" opinion helps you at all.
Good luck.

My son (who's starting 1st grade in the fall) only recognized a few letters when he started kindergarten, and now he's reading everything! It is not your job to teach your daughter to read, that's what teachers are for. Just let your daughter play and have fun for the rest of the summer, and see how she blossoms once school starts. :)

Hi I.,

I asked this question a while back, so feel free to click on my name and check out my question's responses.

We decided to hold him back (he would be four until December). A girlfriend of mine (who's a grade school teacher) put it into perspective for me (as well as the good advice I got here).

My girlfriend pointed out 2 things about my son and hers, who would have been in the same boat several years ago:

(1) if he starts early, he'll be 10-11 in middle school and and 12-13 when he starts high school. (For a girl, that means that she'll be that young around high school senior boys. ACK!)

(2) my friend said there was a boy in her class who had the same birth day as her son's. he was a great kid who just never got it together -- didn't remember to bring a pencil or wasn't ready to focus. She decided that wasn't going to be HER kid so she held her son back, and she's really happy that she did.

Good luck!!

I would hold her back. Learning will be very hard for her at this point. Kids are expected to be reading and writing a simple, grammatically correct sentance by the end of Kindergarten and doing basic math problems. It is so different now. Very demanding. The idea of repeating kindergarten or 1st grade should be avoided at all costs...it is VERY damaging to self esteem, lots of literature on this. If you choose to let another year go by, she will be so much more mature and become academically confident during kindergarten. Many parents choose this option, my sons K class had 2 six year olds and many turned six shortly after beginning the year. Good luck to you!!!

Hi I.-

I would start her in K. The teaches will let you know if she is way behind and not ready yet. And I would let her enjoy her summer without working on reading. It may be that she is frustrated with what she is struggling with. I would leave it alone for a couple weeks, completely, and come back to it. Also you can incorporate what she wants to play in her learning. This will help her to learn. I.e. she can pretend the capital A is the mom/dad and the lower case a is the baby. Then ask her what sounds the mommy A makes. If she can't remember help her. She will get the hang of it. just try to relate it to something that she likes.

My stepson was held back in Kindergarden and is very upset by it. Almost every month for 3 years he says something about it. It was a mistake. Kids can deal with so much more then we think with out problems. Schools and parents try to make Kindergaden the new "1st grade", but that is what Kindergarden is for...LEARNING! My friends pushed their twin boys a head and they are thriving in school. I say try! And if if doesn't work, like the other mom said. Leave her in another year. I have 3 kids and if I went by if they showed any interest in leaning they would still be in kindergarden!!!!!! And my kids get all As!

No, I dont think you should hold your daughter back. Your daughter will learn just keep practicing. I worked as a teacher assistant in a kindergarten class and it is amazing how the teachers teach the children so they can understand. And if you help your daughter she will grasp the concepts be patient. The bar is alot higher than years ago.

Our daughter will be 5 in early October and we have decided to wait a year for kindergarten. In our opinion, we are pushing lids into desks and academics way too early. Some studies I have read show that any early childhood academic "advantage" is gone by 3rd grade. My daughter is extremely smart - has a huge vocabulary and is a really complex thinker. She is NOT ready to sit at a desk and "learn". I would say that I am sure your daughter is learning everyday, just not academically. I am most concerned about my kids' ongooing love of learning. Being a student is a life-long journey. I don't want to screw that up before she even gets going. FYI, I am an academic and value education very highly.

Hi I.,

Have you considered having your daughter start kindergarten and then holding her back at the end of the year, if you feel she needs it? Kindergarten is the year where they learn their letters & numbers. If she's still struggling with letters & numbers at the end of the year, well, you and her teacher can make an appropriate decision then. As a high school teacher of 15 years, I can tell you that the number one reason my students fail is because they didn't get a solid background in reading skills as youngsters.

And, please don't fall into the "kids don't need to read to succeed" trap so many parents do. Yes, we live in an electronic age, but all that means is that we're reading off a computer not a book...witness this website. If you can't read (and understand) the employee manual at work, the memos your boss sends you, etc., it's hard to be a good employee.

Good luck!

Your child seems to be very advance. One question is it your opinion or what is she doing that you can say she does not seem to be interested in learning? If the preschool teacher is not worried about her going to kindergarten then do not worry. I teach preschool and at times children that act out in a area can be bored with what they are learning. To speak two languages fluently is no easy accomplishment give her a fun way of learn the names of the letter or give her the responsibility of doing the grocery list for you as you tell her what you need and maybe you will see that she does know her letters. The main point is to challenge her but make it fun.In my opinion the bar to learning has been placed high because of no child left behind and some studies show that children at a young age can learn more at a earlier age. I too would like to see that children are not push unless they are ready to learn.

Trust your instincts about your daughter. She is not developmentally ready to read and that is o.k. at this point in her life. Children should be reading by the end of second grade and for some it takes longer than others. Don't get caught up with comparing your child with other reading ready kids. If she is socially mature and needs to be with her own peer group than send her but don't let the fact that she is not reading impact your decision. If she will be going to public school the need to read isn't as necessary as if she will be going to private school. Most importantly, trust yourself and do the right thing for your child. Helping her become reading ready is easy as well. Label things in her room on index cards and tape them to the object. Have the alphabet posted in her room. Rhyme with her and sing the alphabet song as well other word related songs. Point out print when you are in public. Her brain will soak up words and sounds. Unless she has a learning disorder she will be reading when she is developmentally ready. Be patient.

Hi again I. -

I responded to your other post, which I guess you posted earlier the same day? You were talking about how sensitive your daughter is in social situations and wondering how to help her. I had read this one too, so was trying to respond to both. I was among those urging waiting another year, but after I wrote I thought of a suggestion I wish I'd made in my first response.

Your head must be spinning with all the responses and opinions you've gotten from your two posts, but if I may just offer one more idea. I mentioned that my daughter was ready socially, but not ready emotionally for the academic responsibilities of Kindergarten. I had no idea how much was going to be expected of them. I was reading through the responses you've gotten to this question and one in particular really struck me - Roma's. My daughter is bright, not Mensa bright, but I can really relate to what she described about her son's experience. Bless her for sharing what must have been ongoingly painful.

OK, my suggestion --- try one of the Charter Schools that are designed to approach academics with a slower pace. I don't know where you live, but on the west side of Los Angeles there are 2 that I know of very well. Pacifica is one and Ocean Charter is another. I know it's late to be enrolling, but you might want to take a look at these schools and apply for next year, as a back-up to whatever you decide to do this year. Ocean Charter has a Waldorf-style approach to education, Kindergarten is 2 years and academics are not rushed. And kids do learn at that school. My friend's son goes there and though he isn't taking home bunches of homework, that boy reads very well and is very motivated. I have many times regretted not having my daughter go there. She's going into 4th and it took until 3rd grade for her to finally settle into going to school and having homework.

Look around. No matter where you live, there may be a school reasonably close that has an alternative approach to academics. The Charter schools are public, not private. There are fundraisers of course, but all the public schools are dependent on fundraisers.

Good luck to you and your daughter. I wish you and your family all the best,
C.

I say send her. I was in the same boat, well sort of, my daughter's Birthday is Nov. 1st, I could have had her in Kindergarten last year but chose to wait a year, I didn't hold her back in my eyes. I wanted her to START Kindergarten at the age of 5. She is also petite so I didn't want her to always be the youngest and smallest in her class. However, the main reason I didn't have her go on is because she wasn't ready socially and emotionally. She started kindergarten 4 weeks ago and is doing great. I'm so glad I waited. If your daughter is ready socially and emotionally, I say send her. The letters and numbers will be taught. I helped out in my daughters preschool (4/5 year olds) classroom a lot and there were only a few, her included that could write, read a little and knew all their letters and numbers. These girls (they were all girls) were an exception, during free time you'd always seem the writing/drawing or reading - most of the other kids were running and playing (which is just as great!) my point is, they practiced a lot. My son who is 3 also knows his letters, numbers and is starting to write his name, I think he does this mostly because he got Daddy's genes! LOL and because he has an older sister that does this a lot at home so he is learning from her. I wouldn't worry, your daughter sounds very bright, I bet she'll do great in Kindergarten this September.

**The following added after reading some responses. I'm flip flopping a bit. I agree with many other responses which contradict what I said above. You don't say when she'll turn 5. Most states (except here in CA) require a child to be 5 by Sept. 1st. This is how I think it should be. My daughter will turn 6 in Nov., this will make her one of the oldest in her Kindergarten class and I am more comfortable with that then her being the youngest/smallest. You know your daughter best. If I were in your shoes, I'd listen to what her preschool teacher suggests, take in all the great advice you've received here at Mamasource but ultimately do what you think would be best for your daughter down the road given your unique situation.
Best wishes,
M.

Does your daughter need glasses or anything?
Is she a "perfectionist" and so that is why she does not want to do something unless she can do it perfectly?
Help do something to boost her confidence & self-assuredness... this will go a long way in providing a solid foundation for her now and when she hits the pre-teen/teens age.

My daughter is also bi-lingual...but it has not affected her learning or anything.

My girl is the type that likes to do things "perfectly." As she's gotten older, we talk to her about that... and make sure it doesn't get the best of her... we tell her to just have fun learning and to do her best... but not to be "perfect" all the time... the important thing is to just have fun learning... enjoy it etc. We also don't nit-pick if she makes mistakes. It's all part of learning.. we explain that to her.

Sure, in Kindergarten my daughter's school was doing reading, numbers, addition, subtraction, graphing, sight words, categorizing etc. BUT, it was always done so as not to "pressure" the child.. and done in a fun way. The teacher explained that the MAIN thing is to understand the "concept" not in getting the answers "correct" at this age.

Sure the bar is set higher nowdays, versus when I was that age. But well, it's the way the world is... not that it is always for the better. Accelerating academics & the child with these kinds of learning concepts is now begun in Kindergarten... but, I have seen that the kids DO indeed grasp the concepts and they can do it. BUT the teaching is done in a fun way.. and they also buffer that with lots of other "non-academic" learning as well. So there is a balance. YES, kids DO need to play too.. .it is very important.

For us, we have chosen not to enlist my daughter in extra "academic" classes/tutoring at this young age. We don't want to "burn out" our child or turn her off to learning. In time, it will be more appropriate. Our girl needs time to just play and be a kid too.... and we don't believe in over-scheduling her. But, if her Teacher is the one suggesting "extra" tutoring/classes for your child...then that is a topic you should discuss with the Teacher. Or if your daughter is not on par with her learning.. per the Teacher, then discuss it with the Teacher.

My daughter is also born late, but we put her in Kindergarten when she turned 5 years old. We felt she was ready and had "outgrown" Pre-school. She did fine and really enjoyed it... we even asked her and she wanted very much to start Kindergarten already.

Perhaps... your girl is feeling other things and is not able to express it? Try asking her why or IF she is truly having trouble learning her lessons? See what she says.... kids can often really open our eyes to what is going on in their heads once we actually ask them and consider what they say.

If she truly is not ready for a more scheduled/academic school routine for Kindergarten... perhaps you can then at that point, have her do another year of Kindergarten... which is ALSO what some Parents opt to do.....

Take care.... every Mom has concerns before their child starts Kindergarten... some wait and some just go ahead with it. It's real hard to decide and a personal decision... All the best,
~Susan

Hi I.,

Yes, there is more required of our kids now days starting from such an early age. I remember starting kindergarten in the 70's and sitting there on the first day of class and wondering, "What's this strange song that everyone seems to know but me." It was the ABC song. I didn't attend preschool like the other children had and my family had moved back and forth to Germany within 3 years, so teaching me academics somehow got lost in the shuffle. It took me absolutely no time at all to learn my ABC's and I didn't experience any learning delays at all.

The one thing that I'm concerned about with your daughter is that she is getting some exposure to her ABC's and is not really picking them up. I'm wondering if maybe you should take her to go get her eyes checked or possibly have her checked for dsylexia just to be on the safe side. The school that you have her enrolled in should be able to provide both of these services to you free of charge. I would let her start school and give her a couple of weeks to get adjusted. If you don't see any improvements in her academic performace within that time, I would speak to the teacher about having vision and learning style tested.

My dear I.,

You are not the teacher. You are Mama. Your daughter will do just fine. Being 10 wks early at birth has nothing to do with this now. She is five years old and it's time to start Kindergarten.
Send her to school and let the educational system do what is their profession. Your daughter will be fine. Until she sits down in the learning setting, with the progressions all in place, you cannot predict how she is going to progress with letters or numbers or singing songs, until she is enrolled and in a structured environment, consistant every day, week, and month. Time will tell and I'm so sure things will be just perfect!
It is hard on you Mama I know...sending baby to school now. My oldest is now 15, but I remember I was the one in tears on her first day of school---not her---she was like "Bye Mama!" ! Emotionally we are so sensitive with these areas, but it will be OK.

Let your daughter stay right with her age bracket and stop reading SO many things into this. LET...IT...BE.

Sincerely,

Wendy

I read a few of the responses. and, why would it be okay to set your 5 year old up for failure? I have 3 kids, the 1st one spent a year in and out of the hospital. and seems socially behind. He is starting 2nd grade in September academically he is fine-and he has an April birthday, so he is where he is supposed to be. But, I still worry taht maybe he should have been held back. My 2nd turns 5 in October and I am holding him back. He is fantastic socially, but, he doesn't listen (I even had his hearing checked-no joke-it was fine) and he wont spell his name. So, why fight it? And, the argument of having him in Kinder 2x seems like the stupidest idea ever. For 2 big reasons-why set him up for failure? and 2. Why would I subject a teacher to kid that isn't ready? You are the mom, what do you think?

I am a preschool teacher. I teach in a two tiered Kindergarten program where I am the first level teacher. The children I teach are the ones who are at the edge of our cut-off line for kindergarten. Plus, I have a few who are just not emotionally, socially, OR academically ready for Kindergarten. The advise I always use is this: "Education is a journey NOT a race", and, "give them the gift of another year".

It's not that she isn't smart academically she just doesn't have the emotional or social skill to be interested yet and you would benefit her by waiting. We've had excellent results and have done this for the past 10 years.

Kindergarten is a lot harder now. By the end they will be reading and doing math! When is your daughter's birthday? Also remember if she is a later birthday what will her maturity level be in middle school. Maturity in kinder is one thing but once they hit middle school it can really be a hard time if they are playing catch up. One more thing you really know in your heart if you think she is ready. Is she ready or are you? I had to ask myself these things for one of my kids and I waited and am very happy that I did!

Hi I. -
I have been teaching for seven years, and have a ten year old step son and a 2 1/2 year old boy. As far as the bar being set too high - I think the answer is yes. At work, we constantly discuss the fact that kindergarten is more academic than we remember. Many of the programs used have the kids reading by the end to prepare them for first grade. Your daughter seems young, if she is not yet 5 - I think you could do one of two things...1)keep her out for another year and have her in preschool to continue to prepare her, or 2) you could have her go to kinder for a year, and if she is not ready for first grade at the end of the year, she could go to kinder again. There used to be a stigma attached to retaining kids, but I think it is better to retain them and have them be successful the second time around as opposed to sending them to a grade they are not erady for and have them feel like they were not good enough. Also, the fact that she speaks two languages is definately a factor. It is something that is so valuable, but when kids are young, tehy are still trying to figure out which one to use. Hope this helps!

I think waiting a year couldn't hurt!

I have the opposite problem. My 4.5 year old is behind socially, but way ahead academically (already reading at about a second grade level at least). Her birthday is in January, so she won't be starting kindergarten for another year. However, I can't imagine holding her back another year on top of that if she isn't there socially. One, she'd be way too old (starting kindergarten a few months shy of 7), and two, she'll probably be way to advanced for kindergarten academically. So, I'm going to work on her social skills this year to try and get her up to speed. Wish me luck!

I have a great video for you to try with your daughter over summer. My friend, who teaches pre-school recommended it to me after a child in her class watched it daily and learned his letters and their sounds in one week. I put the video on for my son and he too learned them in one week! The video is called, "Letter Factory" by Leap Frog. I purchased mine at Wal-Mart. They have a very cute way of teaching the letters and their sounds and it may be fun for your daughter. Give it a try!
T.

Yes, hold her back and yes, the bar is set too high these days. Brace yourself, they even give homework in kindergarten. The state public school system is in sore need of repair. They don't let kids be kids anymore, and are pushing them to learn much faster than when we were young, many times at the expense of true understanding and retention, and enjoyment of learning in itself. Playing pretend games is healthy and NORMAL at this age.
Consider homeschooling her for a year if you don't want to do another year of preschool. I did that with my son, who will enter public kindergarten this year as a 6 year old. I am so happy I held him back and homeschooled him for one year, both because of his personality and academics.
I used www.sonlight.com, they have excellent curriculum for preschoolers, and you can pick and choose to suit their abilities in each subject. I actually used the P3/4 program (even though my son was 5) and he loved it. We added on a math program and penmanship program as well.
I wish I could homeschool him this year, but have to put him in public school this year.
If you can stay home and homeschool your daughter, I highly recommend it.

Also, someone I think suggested testing for learning disabilities, not a bad idea, but...FYI.....Don't overcredit the public schools and their supposed "special resources" programs either, if you think your daughter may have a learning disability (which often means she is strong in other areas, like being fluent in 2 languages!). There are plenty of these resources for homeschoolers, and often the resource specialist positions at our local public schools have not even been filled during the school year, so there are NO resources sometimes depending on where your kid might go to school. Some districts are much better than others. Ours is Los Angeles Unified School District.... it's horrible!

Hi I.,
I have 2 boys, one entered Kinder when he was 4 years old turning 5 in October and the other when he was 5 going on 6. Having been on both sides of the age spectrum, I have to say that my son Max(who was 4) when he started is still to this day doing well. He is in the GATE Program and when he started kinder he was on of the youngest and kept up with everyone older than him.
In Kinder they make learning fun and the kids have a great time. If you daughter is mature, maybe all she needs is to be in the social environment of Kinder to make friends and that will in turn motivate her to learn like them. I think its a great time for her to start. If your still unsure go meet the teacher and talk about your concerns and I'm sure she will help you feel comfortable in any decision you make. Good Luck!

AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH. I read a lot of responses and must say I find peoples' advice part of the problem here. If your daughter is socially and emotionally ready than send her. Kids do not have to know how to read or know their letters when they enter kindergarden. They are there to learn these skills. I have twins who started kindergarden this past year and I helped in both of their classes. There were MANY kids who were just learning the academic stuff at the beginning of the year. And by the end of the year the kids were still spread across a range of ability, and probably will be for the next few years. I would say get her into school as well so you can have accurate assessments done at no cost--in public school in CA these services are available and a teacher will have the best sense of whether your daughter needs this. I don't think any pediatrician is going to tell you that at age 5 your daughter's preterm birth should still be calculated in her age. My kids were 5 weeks early and had no developmental issues at all. I had a friend with twins who were born at 29 weeks and her kids by age 3 were bilingual and had no real developmental issues. STOP AGONIZING. If you send her this year and it turns out to be a mistake (which a teacher should be the best judge of not any of us sitting here on the sideline) then you can fix it.

I think that if she is socially/emotionally ready, she is probably fine. Many kids start kindergarten at her same academic level. My daughter just finished kindergarten testing and the tester told me that the social/emotional part is far more important than where they are academically. They will catch up with the rest of the class. She may pay attention better when it's someone other than mom doing the teaching.

Gosh, you've received lots of responses already. But I can't hold myself back. I feel very strongly about this issue. All kids have strengths and weaknesses. It sounds like your daughter certainly is ready for kindergarten- send her! Try to relax a bit- saying that "she can feel that she is not that good in this area" at nearly 5 years shows that there is a lot of tension going on about this issue. If she is a fluent bilingual speaker- she sure doesn't sound like she's delayed in the learning department. It does take awhile for bilinguals to be able to separate the two codes. That's normal. Forgetting letter names might be due to the names sounding different ( or certain sounds/letters not being in both languages).

I agree that "the bar is set too high" these days. Developmentally there are certain kids who read early, and others who don't. That doesn't mean that the later readers are "behind". That goes across the board. There IS a big push to have the kids academic too early. Part of it is due to "No child left behind" that has been interpreted to the teachers under the gun to keep scores up.

I thank God that I'm working in special ed now- where we have to focus on each kid. (No, it's not a cake walk- ever). At least we are allowed to recognize that every child is an individual and develops along their own pace.

First check with her preschool teacher and see how she compares academically to others her age. My son turned 5 in July and I decided to hold him back -not so much academically but more because he could not sit still (was not ADD or ADHD) just was into activity and I did not want the teacher to go crazy or him to hate school. I wanted him to be successful, he is now 17 and I feel it is the best thing we ever did-very successful school life was in GATE and has his eyes set on a good college-he will be a junior. ONLY drawback- kids his grade level thinking he flunked. I used to tell him all the time I just wanted to keep him home with me 1 more yr, school goes by too fast, and as a parent I can send him at 5 or 6 and I chose to send him at 6 and I used to tell his friends that too. He is a great kid and I am glad we did it- heck he is still VERY active!!
So you have to decide- do what you think is right but talk to the teacher first-they do learn a lot in kindergarten but if she really is not ready it will just frustrate her.
Good Luck