Kicking myself...did I Do Enough???

Updated on December 17, 2011
T.M. asks from Tampa, FL
13 answers

So I went to Wal-Mart this morning to get groceries. As I pull into a parking space, I notice a van with two children (one in a carseat and one that appeared to be 4-6 ish). There is NO adult in the car with the kids. I look around to see if maybe someone was returning a cart, but nope....these kids are alone and unattended in a car. I am horrified so I took down the make and model of the car and went inside. I stopped the greeter and alerted her about the situation. She tells me that she has no way to call customer service to tell anyone and could I go tell customer service. You would think that this would be important enough for her to walk a few feet, but I digress. So I go tell customer service and they call a manager right away. I left and started shopping at that point...then I started thinking about if I should have gone back outside and waited by the van until someone showed up. Now I feel guilty.

So then I am walking around and notice a Mom shopping with her two kids...one was in a stroller and the other one was about 4 or 5. The kid in the stroller is thowing a total fit screaming and the older child kept wandering off to other aisles out of site. This mother didn't seem the least bit concerned about either one of her children. I was standing right next to this woman and I could not see her older child so I know she couldn't either.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people and what happened to properly supervising your children in a public place???? Horrible things could have happened in both these situations and the parents of these children are oblivious.

What can I do next?

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Featured Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Well, don't know 'bout everyone else, but I can honestly say, I have DEF had more than one Less Than Banner Mommy Day in the past 20 years of motherhood, especially THIS time of year. I wish we could just give each other a break, you know?

:(

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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Yep, there are some crappy parents out there for sure. No common sense and sometimes plain neglect!

You are certainly more patient than me with regard to the children left alone in the parking lot. This has happened to me twice...in Wal Mart. I looked around and gave them exactly two minutes before I called the police. I stayed at the cars until the police arrived and only once was I there when the mother came out, twelve minutes after I called the police. She was screaming "but it has only been five minutes". That's when I left, maybe it SEEMED like five minutes but it wasn't.

I have no problem reporting neglectful activity towards children or animals!

Added: wow Jackie, special spots to leave your children alone for 20 minutes...now I hate Wal Mart even more!

7 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

You're not going to like my opinion, but here it is. I think you need to be very careful when judging other people. You just do not know what they've got going on. I'm mostly referring to the woman in Walmart with the "out of control" kids. I mean, really, haven't we all been there? As far as the kids in the car, that one is a little trickier. I will admit, I have left a sleeping child buckled into a carseat while I run in to pick up the dry cleaning. Door locked, kid is not going anywhere.

Anyway, when I found myself in your situation (where I am questioning someone's judgement or actions) I try to think, what might this person be going through? If someone drives like a maniac past me I try to think "well, maybe she just got a phone call saying her child was raced to the hospital from school". You just never know.

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

T.:

To the kids in the car? Sorry - i would've called 911 and not dealt with Wal-Mart. leaving kids in the car is wrong - in my opinion. If the parent came out and got pissed? OH WELL!!! Stuff happens...kids can freeze, kids can over heat...kids can maneuver out of their car seats...

As to the mom who was oblivious to her kids? Don't know what to tell you on that one. You know that if something bad happens - it wouldn't be her fault, right? It would be someone else's. Pity her. Help me. Sorry - but it's called PARENTING and responsibility!!! URGH!!!

Do I let my boys go off on their own in a store? Yes. They are 9 & 11. They are to stick together. No separation and if they aren't in the aisle where they were supposed to be? Mama ain't happy. Greg is a Black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Nicky is a red belt. Greg has a cell phone. I am TRYING to give them trust and responsibility....small steps. This just started THIS year....not at 4 and 5.

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

T. - You were at Walmart. That 'splains it. lol
Okay, sorry. I don't know what is wrong with people either. I probably would have stayed with the car and the kids AFTER I had called the police.
With the older kid that wanders away...meh. My kid is 6 and he wanders but I am not too worried about it. I "may" have gone up to the 4 year old and said, loudly, "Oh no! Honey are you lost? Where's your mom?"
L.

4 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

As a Wal-mart worker, I can assure you that those kids were taken care of. We don't take things like that lightly. In the store that I work at one employee (Probably a manager) would have gone outside to the vehicle. Another manager would have called the police. Customer service would have went over the intercom to page the owner of the vehicle. If the children seemed to be in distress, the manager would attempt to get into the vehicle...

Don't worry. Wal-mart takes things like that very seriously. Have you ever been inside a wal-mart during a code Adam (When a child is lost inside the store)? No one is allowed to leave the building. Every employee stops what they are doing and searches for the missing child. We don't mess around when it comes to kids.

Oh and by the way, that door greeter could have been fired for leaving the door unattended to walk to customer service. That is why he/she asked you to go to customer service.

3 moms found this helpful

E.M.

answers from St. Joseph on

some parents are just plain selfish, lazy and self centered. they cannot be bothered to watch over their own kids, they think it is everyone elses job. but then they are the first ones yelling and screaming that something bad happened to their child or they got hurt goofing around when mom/dad werent watching. some parents just can't stand the thought of actually having to parent, having to watch out for them, to discipline them, to make them behave etc. it is disgusting how far astray this society has come. when I was a child you didnt dare to throw fits, kicking and screaming out in public. I knew better, my mom would have busted my a$$. but, becaue I knew that, because I had proper discipline and direction, I didnt act like that, never even was tempted. But so many parents now think that if you tell your child no that it will damage and scar them for life leaving them hating you forever. they think that it is perfectly okay to just leave your kids alone in a car to go shop and galavant around. they think that there is no way that there kids would be taken or that something bad could happen. and of course if it did happen it is the fault of everyone else who wasnt watching. makes me sick to my stomach.

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R.H.

answers from Houston on

Katie and Theresa say it best. Take some SamE and chill out girl. Life is hard. Give the mom's a break. Calling the cops is out. If you want to feel like a big, old do gooder, then stand by the car and tell the parents how you feel when she or HE retruns. Don't hide behind the cops.

3 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

You did your part. The kids were gotten out of the car. The police probably wouldn't have done much more. One time I was at Kohls and I noticed 2 kids hopping arnd in the back seat. I couldn't tell their ages and I waited 5 minutes, then a car with 2 women and a child pulled up, i asked them their opnion, saying I couldn't tell if the kids were old enough but didn't want to J. leave, they went over looked in saw 2 kids, one around 7 and another around 9 in the car, and they called the police, we all waited, and while we waited the kids got nervous knowing something was going on and J. got out of the car, mid parking lot and started walking around. The police came and waited until their mom came out, so enough time for M. to wait, another car, and the police and theyy still werent there. I saw from afar it looked like she J. got a talking to.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

As for the kids in the car, I have and would've gone back out to watch the car. I have also called the police and reported it as for in VA it is a crime to leave a child under 8 (I believe) alone in a car -returning carts aside.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

After I assessed that the kids were indeed alone and scanned the area, I would have called the police and waited. If the parent came out before the police got there, I would probably speak my mind about it. If I had my own children with me (which would probably be the case), I may just mention it to them that they should probably not leave the kids in the car. I would wait for the police officer and give him/her the plate number (if I hadn't done that already on the phone).

As far as the unruly kids and oblivious mom, if it were really bad, I may say something like, "You may want to be careful letting them run so far from you, this is a bad time of year with so many shoppers in here. You never know what someone would do."

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

Our walmart store has special parking spots that are ment to leave you kids inside the car while you dash inside and pick up your prescription. they are at the front of the isle and parallel parking with signs that state what they are for and not to park for more than 20 min per spot. I would never do this. But I do think you need to relax about the woman shopping next to you. People are all different and kids are all different. Its up to her to watch her own kid.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

The world is not such a dangerous,horrible place after all, is it? In many places in the world this is acceptable and only Americans are brainwashed that you can't take your eyes off your children for a moment. I am not advocating leaving children in a parked car but you know what, those children will be safer then ours ever will be. They will live life w/o one thing bad happening to them and the vigilant parents are the ones who suffer tragedies. It's just the wisdom of the world. Thanks for trying to save the world but all you would have done is get DCF involved and the children been seperated and scared for their lives. Not worth it in my book because people are actually looking out for those kids like you....everything turned out fine. Relax.

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