Just Started Kindergarten

Having not read the other posts, here are my suggestions. Get a workbook form almost any store, they can help with letters, phonics, reading, math, etc. I personnly get books from Educational ETC in Annapolis MAll. I use them with all 3 kids over the summer, and am using a math book now to help my 1st grader improver her math skills. The treachers are important, but the parents need to get involved too. It can be fun things, make games with flash cards that the 2 of you make together

M.,
This is something that you may need to bring to the teachers attention. I know if I was your son's teacher, I would want to know that he feels that I do not like him. My son is very sensitive as well, and I have had to have a lot of visits with teachers at the beginning of the school year for the same issue. If you let the teacher know, she will be able to adjust her teaching style a little to help him. If you find that your son is still having a problem after some time, then you can ask for an appointment to see an administrator to discuss the situation.

I hope this helps!

Set up a parent teacher conference and explain to her how sensitive your son is and that her reaction when he couldn't write his name shattered his confidence. Explain that he may very well know his letters but he's too afraid of censure to take any risk at all by saying what he thinks the letter is. Tell her that he's going to need more patience and understanding from her to overcome his shyness and sensitivity. She's going to have to control any displeasure she may habitually display. This is in no why asking too much, she's a Kindergarten teacher and this is part of her job. If she gets defensive then you're barking up the wrong tree. See the school administrators and see about having him transfered to a new classroom in which the teacher has been forwarned of his sensitivity to criticism.

Hi M.! We had a similar experience with my now 3rd grader. She was doing the same things your son is doing. We just kept encouraging her (however painful, and there WERE some painful moments!) She was reading novels by first grade and last year tested into the Gifted and Talented program. Hopefully you'll have a similar experience. Give it a few months (for him to really adjust to kindergarten in general) and if you're still worried it's always worth calling the pediatrician. Good luck!

When my son started pre-school he had a similar problem. Any criticism he got he took very personally. I told his teacher he thought she didn't like him and she had no idea he felt this way. After that she started a thing which was when she had to correct him or explain something to him, she'd give him a hug and make sure they were friends when they were finished. He was only 3 1/2 at the time. He out grew this phase pretty quickly and by kindergarten he was (and still is) such a confident out-going person. I know teachers can't hug and hold hands all the time, but they need to establish some sort of working communication with the kids in their class. I'd have a conference with the teacher and see if the air can be cleared.

My son just started kingergarten as well, and yes, they are so tired after a full day!

Try on a Saturday or Sunday to work on the letters. Maybe write them all down and then cut them out (like flashcards) and make it fun (they learn better that way).

maybe she just commented "can you spell your name?" and he couldn't and was embarassed, being with other kids who could. I have found if my son doesn't know something, he seems embarassed now that he's in school. So they clam up.

Make it fun and help him be confident on the weekend, so next week will start out with Letters! :) Also at dinner time, I read right after I eat, while they (I have 3 boys, aged 5, 4, 2) are still eating. You could do letters then, not making him do "work" but just getting them in front of him. Like "L is for Leopard, A is for Apple".

Best wishes! -------V.

What I am going to say may sound like it is coming out of left field, but have you taken him to the pediatrician? My daughter seemed normal for the most part for over two weeks, but she kept complaining of being tired and also could not seem to remember simple things she had learned two years previous. For example, I would ask her four plus what equals nine? And she started to say seven. I had just started home schooling and was about to call the public school thinking a trained teacher could get her to try harder. My husband and some friend said that I did not really need to take her to the doctor over lethargy and lack of interest / performance at the same level as she had always shown. Well, as it turned out, my daughter had mononucleosis. It took one month to recover and now she seems to be back to her normal self. We still have a bit of trouble staying on top of school work, but it is more because it is too easy for her or because she wants to learn everything at once. For example, she gets told to memorize her skip counting by threes and she wants to jump straight into multiplication or she gets told to study science and she wants to grab the fourth grade text I bought for her from Go Bananas instead of working on her second grade work. She is not yet seven so by age she should have been in first grade so I thought second grade would be challenging enough. Hope everything goes well with your son!

Talk with the teacher about your son's sensitivity. If you don't get a good response from the teacher, I would take my son out of school and homeschool him for one year. When he is older and more mature he can handle public school better.
Any loving parent can home school. I did! And now our daughter is a doctor and our son is an electrician. AF

In terms of the teacher issue - You need to tell the teacher exactly what you wrote here. You don't have to say anything accusing to her. Just say, that he has been saying things that make you think he is intimidated, and the two of you should talk to him about speaking up in class. He needs encouragement from you both and he needs to be reqrded when he tries.

If you think that he really doesn't know his letters, you still need to have a consultation about how to get him on track. I don't know if that is common or not. My kindergartener has known her most of her letters and their sounds for two years. I would think you would know if he knows them or not. If he needs to catch-up, you need ot know how they will accomplish tha tat howm and if and how you can help at home.

Hi M.,

I remember my first parent/teacher conference with my son's kindergarten teacher. She told me that he only identified two letters on the PALS test and that she wished that he had not reached the benchmark (recognizing one letter) so that he could get into remediation. I was shocked. In preschool, he was phonetically spelling words! I told the teacher who proceeded to tell me that the teacher probably helped him too much. Ha! Ha! I was the teacher so I knew that wasn't true. We had a long conversation. I wasn't too concerned because i knew that my son had learned much in preschool. She didn't believe me. By the end of Kindergarten, the teacher apologized to me and to my son. He was reading beyond a second grade level. He just needed time to get adjusted to Kindergarten. My point is that many times the knowledge is in the kids heads, it just takes some time for it to come out. I would talk to the teacher to tell her of your concerns. I would also try to observe your son while "playing" with letters etc (memory, bingo) and see if he does know his letters in a non-pressure situation. Many kids know their numbers and letters when not directly asked. Good luck. Communication is key.

Kindergarten is a hard transition for so many kids...it will take time, but your son will get used to it and start to feel more confident soon...I'm sire he knows more than he is saying...but I would have a talk with the teacher and let her know what you are thinking. A lot of times it's hard being a teacher with so many different personalities to learn - she doesn't know your child like you do, but shedding a little light on the situation will go a long way. For example: My daughter likes to get a lot of attention, so she would complain about every little tiny bump or scrape and she would get sent to the nurse and then they would call me at work and I would have to go in and see if she was ok - but after 2-3 times of this happening, I told the teacher to just try giving her a hug because she probably just wants her to care and isn't really hurt that badly to necessitate a nurse visit. The next time my 'drama queen' tried to talk to the teacher, the teacher gave her a hug and did not send her to the nurse and she was absolutely fine! Teachers don't want to be held liable for any sort of problems that may arise, so it's up to us as parents to let them know how to handle our kids. I think a little encouragement from her would go a long way for your son and once he is adjusted to the new environment, I'm sure he will open up and do just fine!