Just Fun with a Co-worker?

why does everything little thing in the English language have to mean someone wants to have a torrid affair. Sheesh. It was just a joke.

No I wouldn't be upset or worried about my husband saying them. If my husband gave me a dollar for every silly innuendo he did intentionally or not I would be a rich woman.

It is a non issue and I certainly hope this poor guy does not lose his job because he said something innocently that could be construed in a manner where some woman would get her panties in a wad over it and claim harassment. Gees.

Did she sheepishly smile and laugh, or did she sheepishly smile and laugh and take her pants off?

Meh, my guess is that it was just a slip and is harmless.

Sounds like he said something, realized it could be taken wrong, and laughed it off.

He sheepishly smiles cuz he didn't MEAN that at ALL.
Geesh.
Wouldn't bother me one bit.
NOW, if my husband kissed her neck and asked her to get naked I would have an issue.
L.

I work with cops. This type of comment wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. It would not bother me if my husband said it to someone and it would not bother me if someone said it to me, particularly if it was an innocent mistake that they realized could be "racy" after they said it. If it is a regular or daily thing to where the woman becomes uncomfortable, then of course it is a problem. Getting upset over this one isolated comment would be an indication of some deeper insecurities in my book, but some people are very sensitive. Ultimately, if it bothers the wife she should tell the husband and work it out rather than letting it fester and grow into some elaborate imagined affair in her head.

You have an issue with paranoia.

Do you have a camera on your husband?

I would not make a mountain out of a molehill. This would not be a big deal at all to me.

Wow, just a slip of the tongue. That should in no way be construed as a threat to a stable marriage.

if he didn't sheepisly smile and laugh but instead kind of leered or gave a certain look, then it'd be flirting. But the fact he sheepishly smiled and laughed means he realized he said something that could be taken wrong so no, I dno't think flirting at all. Did he go on to say more? I don't think I'd even think of it as clothing initially... Normal thing to say if you're trying to free up memory or something.

I would think that someone has WAY too much time on their hands to worry about something so small....

It sounds to me like he made a poor choice of words and realized in hindsight what it could be misconstrued to mean. No I do not think it was intentional on his part and not a big deal.

My DH would have said the same thing. Sometimes, something just slips out and then it's just hanging there and you KNOW the other person is thinking what you're thinking. My DH almost never misses an opportunity for a joke in a situation like this. He would, however, usually only joke/laugh at something like this with someone he knew pretty well - not an outside business associate/customer he wasn't very familiar with. I say, no harm, no foul - but that's just me and I trust my husband.

I don't think there is anything to this beyond he said something that he realized sounded wrong. He then had a knee jerk immature reaction to realizing how stupid it sounded and uncomfortably laughed it off.
I wouldn't care if a co-worker said that to my husband or if my husband inadvertently said it.
My husband once had to be the one in a meeting to point out that calling a project "Golden Showers" wasn't a good idea. It took the room a minute to get it and they didn't go with that name. It sounded perfectly fine for the project until you realize the double meaning of it. Didn't mean anyone was trying to flirt or imply anything.
Making a mountain out of a grain of sand here. Everyone is not out to get everyone else's spouse. That is the stuff of imaginary characters in soap operas, not real life.

I don't think it would be flirting unless the intention was to convey an attraction.

There are such things as social faux pas, and sometimes people just say something without enough context (like, adding " or delete something"); sometimes people say something stupid and realize it came out the wrong way. Sometimes, people joke when they were already placed in an uncomfortable situation-- trying to make light of it--and the person who put them in that situation in the first place causes more drama by choosing not to let it go.

It depends on the person. If they were always being sexual in their joking and weird about how attentive they were, then yes, it would bother me. However, I wouldn't marry someone with those qualities, either. People can be friendly and open, or they can be opportunistic and will take anything that makes eyes at them because they are on the prowl. Kind of hard not to know the difference.

Sounds like one of the many awkward moments humans are prone to. The guy might actually have such feelings for the woman, and was embarrassed when he heard these ambiguous words coming out of his mouth. Probably not a big deal. Few crushes go on to become affairs.

However, my first husband was a relentless flirt, even right in front of me. It was a problem, in that it belittled and embarrassed me, and I eventually learned that he was sometimes starting affairs with these women. Sometimes smoke does hide a fire. Still, what you describe sounds like just an awkward moment.

If a co-worker starts using sly language and is clear that he means something sexual, inappropriate and/or unwelcome, that can rightfully be considered sexual harassment.

Unfortunately, innocent comments can often have more than one meaning.

I see this as being the case here......

Some people speak before they REALLY think how it sounds......

Wow. Whoever this question is for or directly at/about needs to calm down.

I've said things that could be misconstrued accidentally. I immediately say, "Whoops! I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry. I meant to say 'could you please delete that item on your computer.'"

If I instead took the statement into double entendre territory, knowing what it meant, THAT would be considered flirting, and that would be wrong of me.

I can't tell, based upon the information you've given, whether the guy was flirting or not.

There's no such thing, in my opinion, as "innocent flirting" when you're married to someone else.

If I were his wife, and the man was actually flirting and it wasn't just bad choice of words, I'd be upset.

Not a big deal. Is there more to the story?

I'd take note, but it wouldn't bother me. A Facebook friend of my husbands made a couple comments like that on his posts. He immediately tagged me in his reply to be sure I saw that he wanted me to see it and to let her know it was all in the open. But a double entendre like that just sounds like an embarrassing double entendre, and nothing more.

I would have to consider the past and future. Sometimes we say dumb things with no meaning to it and sometimes we know exactly what we have done or said.

If you are contemplating this, you have to consider if this is just the first drop in the bucket or if your bucket overfloweth.

Could have been a slip of the tongue. Could have been flirting. Isolated incident...no need for concern.

Guys are guys, & they seem to ALWAYS be thinking about sex!

That said, I would take this as perfectly harmless. Think of it as the adult version of Beevis & Butthead humor... There's a reason the demographic for that show was adolescent & young adult men.

Among my classmates, & previously in the workplace, people would say something, & someone else would say "oh, not going there!" & then everyone else would laugh as the double entendre was exposed. Usually from an innocently made comment.

If it were me, I wouldn't blink about this. Now... if it happened frequently, & the person on the receiving end was uncomfortable with that kind of humor, they would need to say so, tactfully. "Fred, sorry, that kind of stuff just isn't really funny, I'd appreciate it if you left out the 'double meaning' jokes around me". If it continued, then take it further.

Don't forget, being married doesn't mean being locked in a purity box! A ring on the finger doesn't mean you can't ever joke around, or compliment someone, or find attraction to another. It just means that it doesn't go further, because you are committed to your spouse.

So, long answer short - No, I wouldn't worry about it, or be bothered by it. For the wife of this person, if it truly is a big sticking point, then she just needs to let him know that it hurts her, & ask that he keep that "harmless" flirting reserved for her. T.

I was not there to analyze the nuance so I could not possibly know and neither can any one else on here, because they didn't witness it. But if you are looking for an opinion, I do have one, you should leave it alone. You are describing an isolated incident. If you want to tuck it in your memory banks to see if there is a pattern so you can do who knows what with the information, knock yourself out.

I think he probably said it, then thought about it, then acted stupid. I doubt this was intentional. If he said it, and WAS flirting, yes, it's a big deal, since they are married to other people. Yes, I would be bothered if my husband acted that way. And my last thought: Is the woman that this happened to, wishing it were intentional flirting, and reading way too much into it?? She is married, BTW.

Innocent flirting.

No big deal.

If I was his wife, I wouldn't care. Now if she took and article of clothing off then I'd have issue. Or if they are pairing off throughout the day and going to lunch then I'd have issue.

At face value, it was just an innocent slip of the tongue. I don't consider it flirting at all.

Do you trust your husband or not? If he's never cheated on you before then you need to stop suspecting him (past threads show you have trouble trusting him in being faithful) and essentially punishing him for any past boyfriends/fiances/husbands that did cheat on you. He's not them.

EDIT: On the flip side, if I were the woman he said it to, it wouldn't have bothered me a single bit and I'd have laughed at the slip.

Also, in the same sentence you said that he "jokingly said" and then "but then he sheepingly smiles and laughs because he realized..." If it was an intentional joke and he makes this same joke often and only to women, I might have an issue. If he says it to everyone, including men, I wouldn't care. It's a bad joke and he's sharing the wealth.

I take this tack because my husband is the King of Very Bad Jokes, and he makes them on the off chance that it will be one of the 1% of times that it's actually funny. He's never offensive because at heart he's a good guy.

I would hope that you believe you married a good guy too.

I would see the humor in the choice of phrase...
Prob if my husband said something like this I wouldn't be aware of it because I love & trust my husband and we don't dissect every snippet of convo each of us has with others every day...
Anyway, I guess it always goes back to a man ( or woman) having character or not.
Since I know my husband is a man of character, it wouldn't bother me...it would just be him being a goofball.

Sounds like he was trying to make a joke and it tanked.
If this is his idea of flirting his wife has nothing to worry about, he doesn't sound charming OR funny.
Good thing he's already married ;-)

Depends on bigger picture. Anything suspicious before or since? Doesn't seem like a big deal all by itself.

I would think it was just a slip. I think people read way more into things then they should, and even if it was a flirt it does not mean anything, I have flirted with plenty of men I would never ever sleep with.

It's a bother and a lawsuit waiting to happen.
If he means 'delete' he should say 'delete'.
Once inter-company relationships sour, you still have to work with this person.
It's best to keep everything as professional as possible.
You can be friendly - but absolutely NO flirting should be going on.
Ask him about his wife and family, try to meet them at a company function (company picnic, Halloween party for the kids, etc) - talk about your husband and family, how happy they make you, how blessed you are to have them, etc.
I've seen innocent friendships at work, and I've seen families/careers in ruins after in office affairs (in one case a pair was caught during working hours having sex in an electrical closet).
Never mess where you eat.

Even if it was flirting, it wouldn't bother me unless it croseed the line from the verbal to the physical.
Onr of my best friends is a guy and we play double entendre games all the time. But we both know it's never going beyond wordplay.

if your seeing this in your office-mind your buisness but be sure to document it in case a law suite comes about-dont chat with coworkers about it-if its you its happening to and your uncomfortable-tell him to stop-if he doesnt report it.this is not condsiderd fun-its sexual harrassment to the fullest.

B is taking that slip way too seriously. Surely she knows that humans slip up and sometimes use the wrong words. Of course, if he had thought 'delete' then he would not have looked sheepish and said the wrong word.

I'm so SICK of our PC lawsuit-happy world!

Has she never used a wrong word or is she always perfect?

What did the man do after this happened? Did he act as if he made a mistake, or did he go on "making mistakes"? Some people do open their mouths and put both feet in there. Other people make mistakes on purpose. You can usually tell after a few minutes.

If I were his wife and he *was* actually flirting, I would want to have Exclusive Rights to his flirting privileges. Do men flirt with their wives? They ought to!