49 answers

Just a Sensitive Mom??? I Don't Think So!!

OK MAMASSS!!! I never do this BUT I need your opinion about the situation Analiese had today at school with her coach. (My initial reaction wasn't so great...thank goodness I was at home! LOL) SO, Friday Analiese wore a dress to school with "gladiator sandals" and she had P.E. that day (we didn't know) so she had to sit out with a few others who weren't wearing the appropriate shoes. Fine, I understand. Btw, Analiese is always in closed toe--appropriate shoes 99.9%, of the time..not 100 because of the little incident on Friday. Anyway, Liesey wore black "ballet flats" to school today...(this has never been an issue) and as luck would have it, she had P.E.! Her coach told her that she had to sit out. Ok, that's fine, I understand safety. It didn't end there. He then went to Analiese and asked her why she was wearing those shoes...

Analiese: "My mom told me to wear them today."
Coach: "Don't blame it on your mom. We can go call her right now and I'll ask her myself."
Analiese: "She did, she told me to put them on because it was time to go."
Coach: "I think you're doing this on purpose because you did it on Friday too."
Analiese: "No, I didn't."
Coach: "Stop blaming your mom, you should get an "orange card", go walk the yellow line and stop lying."
And she did, crying and embarrassed.
Analiese is an all "A" and "E" student..AND in the FIRST grade!!! FIRST grade! I know it's the mom in me that's angry but I just feel, in general, this was inappropriate. Thoughts??

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks moms for all your responses!!

To Abbie H.- I can ASSURE you that my only child (hence LIESEYSmom) is NOT his root of frustration. As I stated above, my daughter is an all "A" and "E" student, reading at an exceptional level, if she had issues in P.E. I'm sure her grades would have been different.

BTW, I am on the PTA and a Homeroom parent for my daughter's school/class. I am at her school at LEAST 3 times a week. I feel that if it was an issue it could have been easily addressed as he and I have spoken casually on so many occassions. I mean come on....I get 5000 (LOL) forms, flyers, etc. in her take home folder everyday! Why not one from him?
EDIT- SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE ORGANIZED MOMS WHO NEVER FORGET ANYTHING AND ALWAYS GETu EVERYTHING RIGHT!! ONE DAY, I HOPE TO BE JUST LIKE YOU!! LOL!!
On a more REALISTIC note...I would LOVE nothing better than to tell you what school my daughter attends so that way you can know that this P.E. schedule thing has been an issue! Last year, they sent home a schedule for P.E. days..this year they didn't. I've asked, other parents have asked and it hasn't been done. This is why I said 99.9% of the time my daughter is in tennis shoes! Yes, she should have continued wearing them..my mistake! There has NEVER been a complaint before! Long update short, I went to the school and the principal wasn't there so I met with her secretary because coach was in a class...told her what happened...she was appalled...said she would set up a meeting....still nothing. This happened Tuesday and I spoke with her Wednesday. SO, my daughter had P.E. today AND wore tennis shoes..and his response to her was..."Why couldn't you just wear those on Tuesday?" ..................................................................I understand the question but I've been to the school twice since then and he has been unable to meet with me...yet he asks her this? It's all very odd to me. Oh, and btw, it was School Spirit Night last night and I told some of the other parents and they have all said that they hear this coach is very mean and rude to the students (their children), they've complained and nothing has happened...AND they have ALL requested a P.E. schedule and still haven't received one.

Featured Answers

Don't let these people who "think you should know the schedule by now" bring you down on this. I'm barely able to remember dinner some days! Sheesh. I do remember in first grade that I was more worried about when recess was than what is next on the agenda.

I agree with most of the posts that you should either confront him or speak with the Guidance Counselor on this. I have a feeling that she isn't lying to you in regards to the convo. If this were my daughter, I would be doing one or the other.

Good luck :)

5 moms found this helpful

I would ask him HIS version. Perhaps his wording was a bit harsh for a first grader, but (especially if you're at the school all the time and on PTA and a room parent) -why don't you know when her P.E. classes are and dress her in athletic shoes that day? My kindergartner has P.E. on Mondays and Wednesdays. I've known that since last August.

5 moms found this helpful

I think the teacher was WAY over the top. The kids are six years old. I would call and talk to him and then I would talk to the principal. I would expect the coach to apologize to my child for calling her a liar. Children learn nothing beneficial by being demeaned by their teachers. They do learn when they see adults correct their mistakes. And in my mind, the coach made a big one.

If they are just going to have pop PE days - then the kids should all have gym shoes that are kept at school. And my son is 6 and yes, I do pick out his shoes for him. What on earth is an 'orange card' and what is walking the yellow line'?

3 moms found this helpful

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Hey! I havent read your responses, but do they just randomly pick a day for PE class???
My daughter has PE, Mon, Tues, Thurs, and Friday.
She gets to dress up on Wed because no PE.

Unless they are randomly picking a day for PE, it is halfway through the school year, you should be aware of when PE is.

I think the teacher was hard on her, but wearing inappropriate shoes twice in a row could be frustrating.

Make sure she has the right shoes on and no more worries.

7 moms found this helpful

I am a little late in responding to this...but wanted to suggest that your daughter is reporting to you her version of the conversation between her and her teacher. I seriously doubt that it is a word for word report but the way she processed it.
I feel like you can solve this issue pretty easily, just get a calendar, as the other Moms have suggested and mark the PE days with a shoe stamp or something to remind you ( and her) that it is the day for tennis shoes. Personally, I would think that tennis shoes would be the shoe of choice for most school days since she is outside playing on the playground, and doing other things that would make tennis shoes preferable over dress shoes or sandals. Just MHO.
Use this as a teaching moment for your child...she needs to start learning to take responsibility for going to school prepared for the day.

7 moms found this helpful

Don't let these people who "think you should know the schedule by now" bring you down on this. I'm barely able to remember dinner some days! Sheesh. I do remember in first grade that I was more worried about when recess was than what is next on the agenda.

I agree with most of the posts that you should either confront him or speak with the Guidance Counselor on this. I have a feeling that she isn't lying to you in regards to the convo. If this were my daughter, I would be doing one or the other.

Good luck :)

5 moms found this helpful

I would ask him HIS version. Perhaps his wording was a bit harsh for a first grader, but (especially if you're at the school all the time and on PTA and a room parent) -why don't you know when her P.E. classes are and dress her in athletic shoes that day? My kindergartner has P.E. on Mondays and Wednesdays. I've known that since last August.

5 moms found this helpful

OK from your story I thought your daughter was in middle school until you got to the end and she's only in first grade. Sheesh! A first grader wearing the wrong shoes on purpose on PE day? Can a first grader really be expected to keep track of what days are PE days? Yes that's a harsh punishment for a small child wearing the wrong shoes.

Just get the PE days right, mom! He he. Really though, an elementary school child should always have play- approproate shoes for school, whether it's PE day or not. They do play on a playground every day right? Or is it freezing cold in Katy TX and they don't go outside (sorry, I don't know). I would save the gladiator sandals for saturday and sunday.

3 moms found this helpful

Well, the first thing I would do is ask for a P.E. schedule. Which days do they have P.E.?
That would help avoiding anything like this in the future.

Although....I have to say that I never let my daughter go to school in sandals or little "ballet flats". P.E. or no P.E., I volunteered in her classroom and those little kids needed shoes they could run and jump and climp in. My son went to the same school from K-8 and they weren't allowed in the gym without some type of tennis shoes on. A) To prevent damage to the floor B) to prevent slipping and a child being hurt.
My daughter caught the shoe bug from me and trust me, she had more shoes than she could wear before they wore out, but she wore cute sneakers and things like that to school. I used different colored ribbons instead of shoe laces to match her outfits. She had school shoes and other shoes. She did not wear the "other" shoes to school. It was just my rule.
As a matter of fact, most of the schools near us do not allow flip flops, sandals, anything with an elevated or hard heel.
It's for safety reasons.

That said, I would get the coach's side of the story. Maybe he's made it clear that only a certain type of shoes are acceptable. If your daughter hasn't relayed that to you, (she's only in the 1st grade), then the coach should communicate with you what type of shoe attire is necessary and acceptible.
Maybe the shoe policy is in the student handbook and you missed it. Not saying you did, but my kid's dress codes were pretty clearly stated in the student handbooks.

I don't like that he didn't contact you and let you know what footwear was appropriate if it was a problem. So...contact him yourself. Ask to be shown the shoe policy. Ask to be shown the P.E. schedule.
As I said before, P.E. or no P.E., little kids at this age have recess and should be wearing shoes that protect their feet and keep them steady on them. I have a daughter too, and function definitely had to win out over style when it came to school shoes.

Calling you shouldn't have been a threat, he should have just done it so he could explain all of this to you.

Since he didn't, contact him yourself. Clarify what is appropriate to avoid any of this in the future.

Best wishes.

3 moms found this helpful

I think the teacher was WAY over the top. The kids are six years old. I would call and talk to him and then I would talk to the principal. I would expect the coach to apologize to my child for calling her a liar. Children learn nothing beneficial by being demeaned by their teachers. They do learn when they see adults correct their mistakes. And in my mind, the coach made a big one.

If they are just going to have pop PE days - then the kids should all have gym shoes that are kept at school. And my son is 6 and yes, I do pick out his shoes for him. What on earth is an 'orange card' and what is walking the yellow line'?

3 moms found this helpful

Oh, I'd be calling in the morning to complain to the prinicpal. If anyone talked to my child like that.... Grrr! Then, make sure you watch her p.e. days or send a spare pair of shoes for her to keep at school. Either way, I'd be so mad!

2 moms found this helpful

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