Is This Normal??? - Wahiawa,HI

routine routine routine. What time is she getting up in the morning? When is her nap/naps? Even if you're a stay at home mom, it's easiest to get the kiddo up at a consistent time, nap at a consistent time, and get to bed at a consistent time. Seems silly, but it's what worked for my dd, and she, at 5, will ask to go to bed if we try to stay up late randomly.

TV before bed can make some kids more awake instead of lulling them to sleep, so you might want to try something else. For us it's brush teeth, cuddle/read a book, go to bed. Everyone has a different bedtime routine, but routine is the key, in my experience.

I forgot about 2yo molars since it had been a WHILE since the rest of the teeth came in.

Tylenol. Is. A. Gift. From. God.

Don't know if that's your problem or not... but in my house... 9x out of 10 it was food or pain that kept wee ones up.

Do you talk alot? Do you have the TV on all the time, even during the day? Or do you have music always playing? The silence of bedtime can be a shock to some kids because they aren't used to so much of it all at once. If your household is loud and active during the day, try toning it down esp an hour or so before bedtime. Your bedtime routine for her may seem calm and peaceful, but obviously she thinks part of her routine is screaming after you say goodnight. You can either CIO or co-sleep when she cries.

.... at 2 years old, they COMMONLY get sleep tweaks.
They are, changing SO much at this age juncture... both physically and cognitively and emotionally.
It is, growing-pains. Which is not just physically.

It is hard, but a phase.

At this age as well, some children will start to have night mares too. Which also tweaks their sleep. And at this age they can begin to have general "fears" of the dark and what not.
Because, their "imaginations" are also, changing.
So.... this is a developmental, "hardship" on them too.
ALL of these things, are occurring in the child, at the SAME time.
So because of this, it is h*** o* them.
Then on the parent.
Because, no 2 year old, astutely "understands" all of this developmental stuff, yet.
AND on top of that... their "emotions" are not even fully developed yet either, NOR their communication skills.
ie: They cannot tell you "Mommy, I am grumpy but yet overtired... and hungry too. So I am having a hard time keeping myself glued together. Can you rub my feet to relax me as I fall asleep? Oh and I also get scared at night..."

So, they are just a diamond in the rough. They can't even know the answers to why the are having a hard time, sleeping either.

BUT... one thing is: Toddlers, need TIME... to wind-down.
With my kids, I would make the house DARK and quiet.... 1 hour BEFORE their actual bedtime. To help them key down and "transition" to bed time. And would verbally cue them, calmly, that bedtime would be coming up. Then I'd let them finish up with whatever playing they were doing... then, coaxed them along with the bedtime routine.
NOT just all of a sudden saying "okay bed time.... go now" kind of thing. They need a head's up... and you... making the "atmosphere".... more calm and dark and getting the "ambience" ready... for bedtime.
I would have only 1 lamp on... at night. In order to.... make the kids relax and the atmosphere more conducive... to them going to bed. If the house was too lighted up at night for example, they would just not wind down.

Also, Toddlers need runaround time. But not right before bed. It will get them too keyed up and unable to key down.

My son, LOVED to watch "Little Bear" at night.... it is a cartoon by Maurice Sendak. It was so relaxing and really got him into, bedtime.

And, try some warm milk, before bed. Or just milk.
Milk naturally helps some people, relax. And for kids too.

Do you have a bedtime routine. I always did dinner-bath-story-bed. My kids knew when it was bedtime so their brains were ready for sleep.

Is she napping too late in the afternoon. If she sleeps too late or starts her nap too late she may not be tired until 11 PM. Does she get out enough? Run enough -- kids need to get out and play and run. Does she drink soda with caffine? (maybe dumb question)

I'm just tossing out ideas--hopefully something will help.

How do you feel about co-sleeping? Not necessarily in the same bed but at least in the same room. Just a thought ... it worked great for me and some moms I know, but others are dead set against it. I know that in some cultures it's considered cruel to expect babies & toddlers to sleep in a separate room! After all, don't you sleep better with hubby lying next to you? If you like having your loved one next to you, is it so "out there" to think that maybe your daughter just wants the same thing? As always, I encourage you to do what feels best for you and your child. Eventually this stage too (like all others) passes, and you'll miss this time when you are the most important person in her life! Good luck :)

Hi D.-

I was about your daughter's age (donkey years ago) when my dad was in vietnam...older brother was in school...and my mom was preggers with my younger brother. It was a rough year for ALL of us...and I remember it all in VIVID detail.

I MISSED MY DADDY!

By necessity, we lived in a two bedroom apartment. My brother had one room, and my mom and I shared a room. Yes, we co slept! That was a great comfort to me.

Funnily enough, when I had kiddos, my mom had forgotten 'our' round of co sleeping (and she thought I had as well...HA!)

Anyway, I thought I would share my memories of comfort during a hard time. We got and sent letters (and tapes...the old reel to reel kind...lol) but it was by nature of the combat sporadic at best.

Take advantage of skype and all that is available these days.

Give your little one an extra hug from me...

You will all be in my thoughts!

Best luck!
Michele/cat

***Yes...I am in my 50's...***

Sigh

What time is her bedtime?

How long does she sleep during the day?

What time does she wake up in the morning?

These are all important parts of this puzzle. She may not be sleepy if you put her to bed at 7pm. She may not be sleepy at midnight if she takes 2 naps per day and sleeps 2 hours each time.

If she is crying and having a melt down and still not going to sleep then her body is truly not needing to go to sleep at that time. Kids wear themselves out by crying. Think back to a crying jag you have had in the past. When you were finished your body was exhausted. The stress and turmoil going on in the body uses all the resources and it gets worn down.

If she is crying for hours and still not going to sleep her biorhythm may be off. We only need so many hours of sleep per day. Her body is not closing down and putting her to sleep, that's the issue here, if she is not wearing down within a few minutes of crying she is truly not tired or sleepy so it is an uphill battle. She is not sleepy so no matter how much you want her to go to bed she is not ready, therefore you have to change your expectations and work on fixing the root issue.

To be tired at bedtime one must have used the energy they had that day, if she is a calm child she may not be using the energy she has stored up. That means before dinner she needs to be out running amok and playing.

She may be getting to much sleep during the day, she still needs one nap per day though. She is not old enough to do without. So I would make sure she is sleeping a little at nap time then keeping her awake and physically busy the rest of the day.

I am a fan of cosleeping as well. We coslept with both of our boys until they were both two. Because I am a working mom that needed to be up early, getting enough sleep was very important to me. My oldest transitioned to his own bed beautifully. The youngest just turned two and is still a work in progress. It might be nice for both of you to have someone to cuddle up to while your husband is away.

I also agree with having a routine. Obviously, it will take time for her to adjust to it, but it will help!

There are a lot of other factors that may be at workm though. Is she getting enough exercise during the day? I know my 2 yr old has to burn off some energy or she's up until 10pm or 11pm too. It could be that her naps are too late, or it could be that she's too tired. Believe it or not, when my 2.5 year old is too tired, she cries and screams at bedtime. We've found it's easiest to get her to bed when she isn't overtired.

What worked best for us when she turned 2 was plenty of physical activity during the day, a nap around 12pm (usually about an hour), bath at 7:30pm, and in bed by 8pm. She does sometimes still call for us or stay awake a little longer, but for the most part she sticks to the routine.

It's tough on kids when their routine is broken up.

Thank you husband for his service and sacrifice to our country! Thank you!! As well!!

My dad was in Vietnam on a ship when I was kid. i was the baby of the family. I got to sleep with my mom while my dad was away. I know it helped me.

For my son - Nicky? he's a night owl. If he could stay up until 1AM - he would and sleep until 10AM....so instead of fighting her - maybe her natural bedtime is 11PM. I know it's late. But that just might be HER natural sleep schedule.

We don't have ANY electronics 30 minutes before bed - it's reading or writing in their book log. I know she's just two - so that would be like FOREVER in her book - so maybe read to her for 15 minutes - something quiet and relaxing. With Nicky - we also had to use the Johnson and Johnson's Night Time bubble bath. That did help relax him.