hello all i,ve experienced the worst. A real good friend of mine had a baby 16 months ago the baby has been having different issues first with its bowls then its hearing small issues well things werent looking good somewhere around 10 months the baby still wasnt doing much she couldnt sit up or crawl or walk at 16 months she could sit up but not crawl or walk. im gonna say the last year the baby has been in and out of doctors and different specialist even working with doctors at childrens. this baby was so beautiful and so normal looking you would have never guessed she was sick.they were told about a month ago when they did a cat scan on her that she had a ginetic disorder so she was admitted in the hosp.then sent home then back to hosp. well they gave the baby a shot of acid because the babys muscles werent developing there own acid.the baby turned around it was like the miracle shot that was on friday last week.on sunday all the family was called in and was told things werent looking good and then on monday the 18th she passed away.this has been killing me to think about it and its all i can seem to think about.her poor parents and siblings.i feel horrible for them babies arent suppose to die.well the day of the showing she did get an answer finally after a year of what caused he r little girl to die. She had leighs disease. Now to top it off there 4 year old has to be tested for it too cause she has speech problems with leighs most babies die before age 2 some will make it till age 6 and hardly any make it to be a teenager.well shes a close friend of mine and her oldest son and my son are friends and her daughter and my daughter are friends my daughter keeps wanting to see them.she misses her friend that shes use to seeing whenever she wants too.today marks one week since her passing is it too soon to visit.i want to see her myself and be there for her she knows id do anything for her in a heart beat but i dont want to go over there and be a bother to them i know she needs time to grieve.i think id want to be left alone in the situation and not be overwhelmed deffinately not wanting to enertain people.but in reality i know we all do have to move on too.what do you all think.with love to my best friends baby in heaven A.
I would call her and tell her you are bringing over some food, easy pre-prepped meals and picking up the children to come to your house to play for a few hours or the day. Tell her she is welcome to come too if she would like to get out of the house, or she can have the day to herself if she would prefer.
A.,
I am sooooooo sorry to hear about this. That just breaks my heart to pieces and I couldn't imagine what your friend must be going through.
My husband has an aunt who's daughter died when she was 11 months old. She drowned in the tub. This was 23 years ago, but I am very close with this aunt and she often talks about her experience and the once thing she said to me was how for a long time after her daughter died, people had a hard time speaking to her. People avoided her because they didn't know what to say or what to do and that made her sad because she needed people around. So I guess my advice to you is call her and go visit. I would maybe make the first trip without the kids and then the next trip with the kids if you can. Just so you can spend some time with her without running around after your own kids. Make a meal for her is a great idea too. I'm sure she'll appreciate it very much. And if she doesn't want company or isn't up to company, I'm sure she'll tell you as well.
good luck and god bless!
Ask her. Best friends will tell you if it's too soon, although Im sure it's not. She may really need to help her kids get their minds on something else as well as her own. I don't think etiquette comes in to play here, just be there, love her and help her grieve.
~L.
A.,
My heart goes out to your friend, what a devastating loss. I would not wait for your friend to call you - I would call her and see if her kids do want to play. I think all of the suggestions you've gotten so far have been wonderful. She will probably tell you what she wants or needs if you ask her.
I had a difficult year as a parent last year and during some of our trials someone had given me a bunch of verses and quotes that were encouraging that I can email if you like. The person who had given them to me had put them individually on nice cards. It may be soon for her but if you want them now for a later date I'm happy to send them over to you.
I will keep your friend and her family in my prayers.
Hi,
I'm so sorry, that is so sad. The baby dying,tragic.
I think you just have to play this by ear. Call and see how your friend is doing and talk with her about wanting to see her, and the kids wanting to see their friend. I think support during grief is the only thing that gets most of us through. I would hope she will want to see you, I think the idea about bringing food,is very welcome at this time. I would guess your friend is not in the mood to cook.
I'm sorry for their loss and yours.The death has affected all of you.I would expect it will take a long time for this family to move past this, as you said babies shouldn't die.
L.
What a terrible situation.
I would call my friend and arrange to take her kids to your house. Maybe for a sleepover and make sure her kids have a great time. I am sure they are feeling the loss too.
Also, I would spend some time with your friend. Call her, bring over dinner, take her out to dinner, do something that she enjoys to help get her out of the house.
I think it would be ok for the girls to play again. While they play, you two can talk.
My friend lost her husband about a year ago. Her biggest fear is that people will forget him. And she wants to talk about him whenever she can. That's just her; I would see what your friend prefers.
If she wants to talk and cry - be there for her.
I am sure she is needing a good friend right now.
P.S. And don’t tell her you know how she’s feeling if you don’t. Or everything happens for a reason. I hate it when people say things like that. Just tell her you’re sorry.
Hello A.,
how sad... call your friend. offer to bring her dinner. she may be sad but at the same time perhaps needing someone to listen. their little daughter needs a friend too. you miss your friend and she misses you too. she probably needs a distraction. even if just a distraction to her daughter so she can think. can her kids come over to play? that will give her some alone time she probably needs too. God bless you and your friend. ~Carmen~
there is no such thing as too soon - reach out and calll her and ask her when she is up to visitors....
