42 answers

Is It Too Long to Still Be Grieving Our Dog?

We had to put our dog to sleep nearly 3 months ago. We had him for 13 years, and he was one of those dogs that really gets into your heart (more than our other dogs have). At the time, I wasn't as upset as I expected to be. But now, all of a sudden, I am devastated. Our 3 YO talks about him all the time, and maybe that is making it worse. But the other night after kids were in bed I just broke down crying. I went to my husband for a hug, but instead of a hug he looked at me funny and said, "It has been a long time!" Am I crazy? 3 months doesn't seem that long after losing a family member we had for 13 years.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

No hon, 3 months is no time at all. My dog died almost 2 years ago, and I still grieve , from time to time. It comes in waves. I got this dog, Onyx, when my now 20 year old, was 2 . He lived longer than I expected him to. But when he died , I was crushed. I still miss him, still find it hard to believe, and still , some times, expect to see him. 3 months is no time at all. And no one can put a time limit on how long you should grieve. Some grieve longer than others. That is perfectly normal. So go ahead and grieve. I truly understand where you are at right now. Take care.

1 mom found this helpful

No you're not crazy. My mom lost her favorite dog and the next day she was sent home from work because she couldn't stop crying. People thought she lost a relative! Everyone grieves differently. It will get better and don't feel weird for how you feel.

1 mom found this helpful

Everyone grieves differently. You may need longer than he does. That doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.
Over twenty years ago, I rescued a sick kitten, bottle-fed her, and had her for 16 years before I had to have her put down. She's been gone for 12 years now, and I still miss that cat.

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More Answers

Every one grieves in their own time. Perhaps you did not let yourself feel the sadness right away to be strong for your child. Now that you have had time to process and your child has accepted the reality it is sinking in for you too. Pet's are a very valuable part of our lives and their passing hurts too. It's okay to be sad now 3 months later, you just did not let yourself feel the sadness sooner. Grieve so that you can move on. Also realize that some people do not understand grief and how it can effect you. You are not crazy, feel what you need to feel, the dog was a member of your family for a long time.

4 moms found this helpful

I had to put my down 20 year old cat that I raised from 6 weeks old. That was 3 years ago and I still have occasional moments. Just because we lose a pet doesn't mean we stop loving or missing them. Your husband is being insensitive.

3 moms found this helpful

People look at dogs differently. We lost one our dogs when he was 18mo it was horrible, I got the call when my son and I were boarding a plane to attend my friend's wedding, I had the flight to be sad but after that I had to be wedding minded - it did not help that three weeks earlier we lost my grand mother. When I got home iwth the family I was more able to be upset, however life did not allow a big mourning process. I think it's coming up now because you may not have allowed yourself to deal with it right away. I would take a day and just get it out, if that does not do the trick there may be something else there that you are seeing as mourning for your dog.

3 moms found this helpful

i'm so sorry for your loss. no, 3 months is NOT too long to grieve, especially if you've been holding it in for all this time. i know i'm still in that "daze" stage, we put our nearly 16 year old min pin down 2.5 weeks ago, and i know i haven't gotten it all out yet. i remember we put our 9 year old female min pin down about 5.5 years ago, and the first several months were very tough... we still have the puppy they had together, and he's 11 years old and not in the best of health, it's gonna be REALLY tough when we lose him - having him is almost like still having a piece of the other two. since we've been married, we've had five dogs, now we're down to 3. the one that passed two weeks ago was the one my husband was most attached to, our doberman is the one that has my heart - i really don't know how i'll feel when she's gone, but it's gonna be bad. that's not to say i don't love my other dogs, but you know what i mean. be patient with yourself, and don't be too mad at your husband, we all grieve differently - and he probably just didn't know what to say.

3 moms found this helpful

No. Grief happens for however long it needs to. You are not obsessive about it, you are just in pain. The dog was a part of your family for 13 years, always there. You don't lose something like that, and just feel OK right away. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope time makes it a little better.

2 moms found this helpful

You are not crazy at all. My cat died suddenly of a seizure at 8 yrs old about 2 yrs ago and I still get teary eyed sometimes. He too was just one of those animals that stole your heart and when he was still with us, the little bugger knew he was never allowed on top of our big screen TV so when he died and we had him cremated we put him on top of the TV with a picture of him and thats where he stays. Im so sorry for your loss and greiving is a process. Don' let anyone tell you when the pain should stop or when you need to stop crying about it. He was obviously a part of the family and sounds like he was a great dog

2 moms found this helpful

No, you're not crazy. I still grieve over my beloved cat that I had for 11 yrs who died back in 2008. I cannot look at her photo or think about her w/o breaking down. She was my child...my baby. I think that with time, no matter how long that takes, the pain & loss will lessen but for me, it still hurts BAD. We have a new cat now & she keeps us occupied & entertained but I just don't feel the same love & affection that I did for my 'baby'. I guess b/c I had her for so long, I'm not sure but people do get very attached to their pets & they DO become family. I'd say, take your time in getting over the loss. Don't let your husband make you feel discouraged or unimportant. It's VERY important to have that time to grieve over the loss, no matter how long it takes. I think you may feel it for a VERY long time as I have but you can allow yourself or not allow yourself after a while to feel the pain of loss, you just have to press on & get past it at some point. Hope this helps & encourages you. Best wishes!

2 moms found this helpful

It will be a year in August that we put our pup down. She was with us for sixteen years. I'm trying not to cry just thinking about it!! My younger daughter still misses her and cries occasionally...she made a picture at school of our dog and wrote "Bye Cootie, love you, miss you" My husband and I both almost lost it when we saw it.

Bottom line, you are not crazy! You are grieving...everyone does it differently. Pets are such an important, fulfilling part of our lives. It is very hard when they are gone. Especially those "special' ones. We have two dogs now...who I love, but they didn't wiggle as deep in my heart as Cootie.

God Bless! It'll be ok!

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