Is It Really a Big Deal My Son Wants to Be Wonder Woman?

Updated on September 10, 2011
F.S. asks from Jackson, WY
28 answers

okay my son is 3 and this year he understands the concept that Halloween is coming and we pretend on that day. He is really into the Super Friends which we read almost every night so when I brought up Halloween he said he would like to be Wonder Woman. I was like whatever makes the kid happy, to him Wonder Woman is a character he likes and that is what we do on Halloween. I mentioned this to my Mom and OMG the controversy it caused. I was really surprised at how inappropriate she deemed this (especially since I remember being Spiderman when I was 4 but whatever). My friends agree with me however others like my MIL and own Mom are really outraged. I am not trying to start a huge controversial discussion here over gender issues but would like feedback if you have ever had an issue similar to this? Your thoughts in general. We really have not had a conversation with my son yet about boys and girls besides pointing out the basic physical features that makes a boy a boy. Is this something I should have done by now? I thought for sure I had a few more years on this? Am I wrong...or can you suggest an aspect to this I have not thought of because I honestly don't see anything wrong with this at all. Thanks mommies!

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Featured Answers

M.M.

answers from Tucson on

I personally wouldnt like it if my son wanted to be a woman for halloween that young. maybe suggest being wonder boy?
Good luck...

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J.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Sorry this is late...a few weeks ago I posted about my 2 boys wanting pink slippers for their Montessori classrooms. I received very supportive feedback in support of the pink slippers and I am so glad that wecwent ahead with it. My 4 year old said "my best friend (girl) and I have the same color:)". And my 3 year old just loves the color. And I love that they are in an environment of acceptance and diversity. Myo mother and mil were also hesitant but I chalk that up to a generational thing. Have a fun Halloween:)

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I just wish that grown ups would stop projecting their own intolerance onto an innocent kid. Not to mention, opinions are like arseholes...

Would they rather he be a monster or something with a negative connotation? Because, as costumes, those seem more acceptable to society than a little boy wanting to wear a "girl" costume. Sigh.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Don't see a problem. And I'd rather my son want to dress up as Wonder Woman (strong, independent woman with good friends who helps people) than have a daughter want to dress up as a princess (no actual redeeming features).

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T.M.

answers from Columbus on

It's absolutely ok. I think that it devalues girls/women when we say it's okay for girls to dress up as powerful male figures they admire, but not okay for boys to dress up as powerful female figures they admire.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from New York on

My 5 year old daughter wants to be Harry Potter for Halloween. Glasses and all. It's her Halloween so I will go for it. He's too young to understand. But if you do it - be sure to take LOTS of photos to show his future wife.

If you don't want him to dress like Wonder Woman just explain to him that the store is out of Wonder Woman and would he like Superman or Bat Man? Little white lies like that get me through the day. It works on adults, too!!

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

at that age, no there is nothing wrong with him wanting to dress up as one of his favorite characters! he may get some teasing from the other kids for dressing like a girl. I, personally, would direct him towards another costume. it's early, not like he has to get his costume today and i'm sure like most kids he will change his mind a few times. i agree with Lilpiggietoes.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughter was michael jackson last year at 4

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

I wouldn't let my son dress up as a woman character nor will I let my girls dress up as a male character.They can have pretend play all they want at home but for going out in public that is a no go.Just is

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J.C.

answers from Cleveland on

Among other things, isn't Halloween for dressing up as something you aren't, and probably will never be? Oh, I know, some kids dress up as football players and nurses, and may eventually become one, but.......

really, how many of us turned into ghosts, vampires, mummies, witches, unicorns, dragons and fairies?? Or princesses?? It's just a fun day to dress up as anything you would like to. How ridiculous that anyone would pass judgment on whether a child should be a certain superhero - male or female! It's just Halloweeen, for Pete's sake!

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

Well I think your son just loves wonder woman.( she was my favorit too ;)) I think your Mom and MIL are over reacting. I don't think it means he wants to be a girl. He is 3. I don't think I would let my boy dress up as a girl though. Or let my girl(if I had one) be a boy. I just couldn't let one of my boys wear a skirt..think of the mortification when he is older and looking at pics of him as wonder woman. My husband would not let it either.

I wouldn't keep bringing up the wonder woman thing though. Take him to the store and let him pick out a costume and he will probably change his mind. My kids have told me like 10 different thing already. We wait until the secound week in Oct to pick out costumes. Unless you want him to be wonder woman thenn go buy the costume and tell everyone he is your kid and MYOB

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

At age 3 my son loved loved loved to dress up as girl characters. He related to them better bc they were more sweet/nurturing I think. Or maybe he liked them better bc they reminded him of mama. I don't know. I see nothing wrong with this at all and you should let you little boy enjoy dressing up however he wants. You know, if he is wearing a superhero outfit and cape who is going to know he is Wonderwoman and not Superman anyway. They will just see a little boy in a supehero outfit. It's not like he'll have long curled black hair and boobs, haha! Your mom and MIL are wrong and if I were you I'd ignore them.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

I don't see anything wrong with this! My 2.5 year old loves Disney Princesses. He has a Disney Princess potty seat, washcloths, etc. He also likes trucks and other "boy" things. He is just exploring and not limited by gender roles. I agree you should let him be what he wants -- all he wants to do is have fun!

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

I certainly hope not... or else I'm in trouble too! One of my daughters would like to be Peter Pan for Halloween. Or maybe Superman. And we're going to let her.

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K.L.

answers from Medford on

At 3 or 30 I see no problem with it at Halloween. He isnt going to dress this way for school or work and Halloween is all about pretending and being silly and dressing out of character. You might try reading a few Superman stories and see what he says if asked about a costume after that. Then read him a Winnie the Pooh story and he will change again. I dressed as a queen once when I was little and I certainly didnt grow up to be one. My husband dressed as a rabbit once, and..well.. never mind.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Maybe if he was 18... but he's three. I'm sure you can make a cute wonder woman costume out of sweatpants and felt, and just make it less womanly.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

ok i know the politically correct answer is you shouldn't care and let him dress however he wants but truth of the matter is, he lives in a real society that is not perfect and people and kids will snicker and make comments if he goes out on the town as wonder woman. i personally would not be able to subject my son to almost certain ridcule. instead i'd just say something like "you're silly! wonder woman's a girl and you're a boy!" and then redirect him to some boy costumes (maybe another super friends character?). that's just me though..i hope he has lots of fun hwatever he decides to be!

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

He's 3! It's not like your putting him in a dress and makeup and taking him to walmart (As a wal-mart cashier, I just recently had a mom come through my line with 5 children, 3 of which were boys, ALL dressed in dresses with full makeup). You're trick-or-treating! Let him be who he wants. :)

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

My sorority sister's friend has a 5 year old son that wanted to be Daphne (from Scooby Doo) last Halloween, so she let him. Several moms at his school made some questionable comments, so she decided to write about it on her blog (which had only a handful of readers). It is such a hot topic, the post went viral. She has had over 45,000 comments from around the world. She has appeared on CNN, Today show and has had write ups about it in such magazines as Forbes as well as various parenting blogs. It has been insane. I applaud her and 90% of her reader comments were positive and supportive of her decision, but there have been some very nasty comments too. Google Nerdy Applebottom and you can view all the different links about it there.
I think if your son wants to be Wonder Woman then that is great, but just be aware there are some people that will have a problem with it.
A.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

There is nothing wrong with letting him be a kid and pretend and use his imagination. I think its great that your letting him be whatever he wants to be for Halloween. My son found a cabbage patch doll (naked) at my gmothers home and loved to carry it around and play with it. I saw nothing wrong with it but my grandmother and MIL did. I told them that him playing with a doll will teach him how to be nurturing. Some people are so closed minded and maybe perhaps "old school" in the way they think. Pay no mind to thier drama.

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

He's 3, seems fine to me!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think lots of boys like to dress up as girl things for halloween and vice versa. When he gets older he'll do it because he knows it's funny. Now he's just innocent and doesn't know the difference.

I would let him do it! And take lots of pictures. Halloween is for dressing up! Now if, he wanted to wear the Wonder Woman outfit to school every day then that's different.

There was a little boy that was in my daycare class 15 years ago and he wore a skirt and his sister's flowery sandals to daycare every day for about a month until he got tired of it. He was 2.

He's 17 now and on the lacrosse team at his high school. He's not gay nor has any sexuality issues. His mom and I joke about his "flowery sandal phase." At that time his older sister was his hero and he wanted to be like her. Nothing wrong with that!

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Honestly, I don't see the big deal. However, to be completely honest, my husband would throw such a huge fit about our 3 year old wearing a "girl costume" that it it would not be worth the argument in my house so I would try to suggest other costumes just to avoid any drama. If your husband shares your view, I say go for it and let the grandmas get over it.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think it is awesome! I would rather he be a good Character than a killer or the bad guy..

He is 3 I bet he will look great.
If his name starts with a W he could also be "Super William"..

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My daughter dressed as Spiderman for about 3 or 4 years in a row! LOL! I wouldn't have a problem with it and I do have a son. Its the TIME to play dress up and some grown up men do it as a gag dressing as a woman every year so who cares! Good luck!!!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband would probably die on that hill, but he's 3. You've gotta consider that, right? He's an innocent child.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I saw some cute costume pictures from Dragon Con where a couple did genderswap on Harley and the Joker, where he was Harley and she was the Joker. Super cute. I don't see why your son couldn't be Wonder Woman, especially if you do as Momma L. suggested and use sweatpants. It will probably be too cold for a traditional wonder woman outfit anyway.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

If your mom and mil have nothing more to worry about than what costume your son wears to go trick-or-treating in, they should count themselves lucky.
Let the child wear whatever costume he wants to wear, go collect his candy and have fun. I remember as a kid dressing as the Lone Ranger or Frankenstein's monster (not the Bride of Frankenstein). Last year, I was Indiana Jones, wearing a leather fedora and cracking an 8-ft leather bullwhip. My daughter once dressed as Robert Smith (front man for The Cure).

1 mom found this helpful
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