Is His Separation Anxiety Extreme?

You (if your not doing so already) should play hide and peek! (Not sure what else to call it!!) Get a stuffy or favorite toy and put in under a blanket, while your child is watching, and then take it out. You can do this with yourself too. Hide behind a wall, counter, or even the blanket, then pop out while he watches. He will eventually learn that just b/c you are not see, doesn't mean you are gone for good. He just needs to know mommy is coming back! I promise this will work. Give it time! It's completely normal!

My son is exactly 15 months old also and does the same thing. I even think my husband was a little sad he didn't do the same thing when he leaves the room. I thought it might be bad, but being that they are the same age it's probably a stage they go through at this time. I feel bad too but I'll probably feel worse when those days eventually come where they DON'T want us in the same room as them! LOL. Good Luck!

This is not extreme, quite typical. It won't last forever though. You'll get through it. I promise. Just remember it is an important part of his development to do this.

J.,

This is perfectly normal behavior it is not extreme for some children. My daughter was so attached to me there were times she wouldn't even go to her father. I had to take her into the bathroom with me, the shower, everywhere I went she went. I think for right now do not fight it he will get over it. Just do as you are doing reassure him you will be back. I never left my kids without saying goodbye to them even if they cried so they would always trust me. Don't ever sneak out it will only make it worse. Children need to know you will leave and come back it is part of their development. Trust me it will pass.

Your baby cries when you go to leave so you go BACK and pick him up and give him love. You are teaching him that to get you back he HAS to scream. When its time to leave, bend over, kiss him goodbye and GO!!!! Right away, dont stop, dont reassure him that you will be right back. he has no idea what that means. Just go. He is picking up on your emotions and learning to scream to get what he wants. Trust me he will stop crying a lot quicker, the quicker you get out of sight.

no, its not extreme. i work part time and when i leave my son (he is either with my mom or my dad) he cries mamma mamma mamma and its bad but a few minutes after i leave, he calms down. its hard to listen to i know, just tears at your heartstrings! good luck! go with your heart honey, there are times i go back and snuggle and kiss and love him and give him the reassurance that he needs, other times i have to go to work and dont have the time but he's always fine.

J.,

Normal; Sara had some great advice. At that age children think that what is not in site does not exist. Not true we as adults know but for them out of site is not out of mind but not there ever. They cannot retain that it is there and life with out Mommy is devastating. You cannot take your son every where; I did that with my 1st son, wow what a mistake. It took him twice as long to get over it. Play peek a boo with him he will learn that you are still there talk to him from the other room, sing his favorite song so he hears you, but he will out grow it.

Good luck!

Does he get better after you have been gone for a while or does he continue to scream? My son would cry when I left the room but my husband would distract him for a bit & he would be fine. But there were several weeks when he would not want me to leave at all. He still sometimes wants to pull me out of the bathroom. It is probably just a stage & he will gradually allow you to go away for longer periods.
Good luck. Just remember in a few years there will be days when you want to be with him & he doesn't want you to be in his space.

Hello,

His separation anxiety seems right for his age. I have 3 children. My son, had sa like yours. It only lasted a while. When he went to pre-chool, he cried a few times and then was fine. Kindergarten was the same. However, my daughter (1st grade) was not the same. Her sa seemed the same in the beginning. She wouldn't separate from me even at family parties. At pre-school, I thought the crying would stop in a while. Everyday for 2 years she cried going. Kindergarten was a nightmare. Thankfully we got her some coping skills and her anxiety levels are better. My advice to you, teach independence as soon as you can. Let me get his own pj's (even if they don' match); give simple choice to make him feel in control (do you want to wear the green shirt or the blue shirt? Do you want to go on the slide or the swing?) At the grocery store, point to which oatmeal box you want & let him step away from you and come back, even if it is only 2 or 3 steps. Then next week, make it 5 or 6 steps. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

J.,

One thing you can do is play peek a boo. Start right in front of him, and gradually progress so that you are moving out and about. Move to different parts of the room, so that he looks for you, then pop out the door but keep your head in view. Then move back in and gradually move further and further from the doorway, always coming back. Do this a little bit each day. You know, it may do something to help, it may not.

Your son may be helped also by baby-wearing. My son loves to run around, and then there are times when Mommy's arms are IT. Whether I'm doing laundry or what, I'm IT. Daddy is very, very rarely IT, bc once Daddy is there, and I leave to head to the restroom, all of a sudden, I'm IT again. :)

This won't last very long. Try to give him long, solid hugs, the kind with your arm along (in line with) his spine, and cradle his head with your hand. My son loves these hugs and the ones where he nestles his head right under my chin (so that I'm practically looking at the ceiling sometimes! :)

Rock him and hug him and kiss him and tickle him, then firmly say, I will be right back. Then turn and go to the restroom and when you come back, make a point of saying: See, here I am! I love you! Here's a hug!

Good luck!
M.

J.,

I went through this with my son, but he was only 10 months old. I put him in day care 2 mornings a week for 2hrs each day. I had to for my sanity and for his. It had gotten so bad, that he would have to stand against the bathtub and look in the shower to make sure I was really there. I certainly wasn't going to fit in the drain - lol! As sad and heartbreaking as it was, IT WORKED. It took the 6 weeks that the school had told me, but let me tell you, he became confident with himself and comfortable enough to be left with friends and family. And, what the heck do you like about Jersey??? I've lived here all my life and I's move in a heart beat. I wish you the best of luck with your little Prince.

J.

Totally normal! Most experts agree that separation anxiety can't really be "fixed", and should just be waited out. Take your little guy with you as much as possible, and pretty soon he'll snap out of it! It may be out of the blue- one day you walk out of the room and he's just fine! :)