International Childraising Customs

well i was raised abroad. breastfeeding is not really a huge thing. not a huge number of mothers breastfeed. women who live in villages do more so than city-women, and that is only because of cost of formula. also, solids start really early, and i mean not jar-solids, but real food. also, judging a mother about anything is not prevalent, actually, it rarely happens. women are interested in helping out, not putting someone down. then, everyone (neighbors, friends, and family) are interested in raising a child. yes, it takes a village approach. i love that. i am raising my kids in america, and i find it hard, being all alone without support. it is just different. that is why posts who judge or put someone down over something silly tick me off. i am not used to it nor do i appreciate it nor do i allow it.
For Sandy L: I am from Eastern Europe. I also want to echo what you just said about Guatemala, kids are held a lot. Tummy time and all that is fine but babies are carried a lot. Co-sleeping is common too. Starting from day one, kids get kissed, and told they're loved. Saying I love you is like saying good morning. Once the kids come into world the dynamics change completely. Kids come first, second, third, and fourth. There is no 'about parents' anymore. I take the same approach. My husband is American-born, raised and all, but it took him a year to get on board with me. He is text-book father that I imagined I would marry. My kids are very loving, and express love the way I taught them. They know I am here for them 24/7. So is dad. At times I wish I had that village. We take overseas trips once a year for an extended visit. My kids don't experience culture-shock because they find there what they have at home except that it is multiplied by a 100 (attention from everybody). Someone here said breastfeeding is mainly done in Europe and formula is for necessity only. Not true. And I say this having spent time in many European countries.
Moms work, there are more working moms than stay at home moms but only because kids do not get to be put in daycares and aftercares. There is grandma, and if not grandma, there is aunt, and if not aunt, there is the neighbor, and if not the neighbor, there is dad. So kids are taken care of by someone close to the family, that is why moms get to work too and keep their individuality. If I were to change anything in the US it would be 1 year paid maternity leave for working moms, and more involvement from the community. I would also change the judging. There is no room to judge anyone over anything. Breastfeeding or formula-feeding that is solely mom's decision. And she should be embraced for whatever decision she makes. Not made feel like she is a failure. Moms, most moms, walk around, carrying the biggest guilt, whether founded or unfounded. We always find something to criticize ourselves. I do. There are rare nights when I don't go to sleep thinking I should have done more, I could have done this instead of this. Do you think, on top of that, I need someone else to tell me I am a bad mother for choosing breastmilk over formula or vice versa?? The answer is no.

I currently live in Ireland with my two young daughters. I do find that things are different here specifically in feeding. Moms don't breastfeed very long, start solids early and give them everything right away. It is impossible to find a single food baby food, everything is mixed foods so I've been having to make my own in order to introduce things one at a time. I also find children develop motor skills later here, though I'm not sure why. It's not unusual for children to not walk until 14 months or even later.

Is this a survey and if so for what reason?

My kids, being that we live in Hawaii, are very multi-cultural. It just is this way in Hawaii.
Kids grow up with all kinds of cultural influences. It is the norm.

My kids are bi-lingual and "hapa." This is the local Hawaiian term for "bi-racial."
It is VERY VERY common, here in Hawaii.
MANY MANY of the kids here, are highly multi-racial as well.
This is also, the norm, here.
VERY much the norm.
My Husband is European, and I am a local.
We raise our kids by our, beliefs and cultural constructs... and customs and traditions.
It is commonplace.
It is not an effort.
It is just, daily life.

I feel, it is highly beneficial, for children and adults alike.
My kids are very global minded.
We expose them to all kinds of cultures, which is not hard here in Hawaii, and so for child raising... it is a real motley crue of rich cultural influences... not mono-cultural. Not having to really 'read' about it and other practices... but here people/kids just live it.

Child raising... is also affected by generational perspectives. Even if they are from a particular culture.

all the best,
Susan

My husband is Vietnamese and his mother is VERY hesitant to talk about their culture. She came here after the war, with her son (then 10) and my husband who was 5 (he was born on a military base in Belgium). She was set on raising "American" boys because she was afraid they would experience predjudice if she stuck with her customs. Now, as we raise our daughter, she is cautiously opening up about alot of things. We want our daughter to know and appreciate her genetic makeup. Hoa (my MIL) has just started teaching me and my husband how to cook Vietnamese dishes, and are they YUMMY! All fresh ingredients, lots of veggies and good sauces. She also reuses EVERYTHING, all plastic containers, water bottles, shoe boxes, etc. and uses them for storage. She grows a huge garden and has several fruit trees. The main difference she tells me is that in Vietnam they are very self-sustaining. You don't buy much, you live off the land, and you make use of everything you have. This is a philosophy Im trying to live by. I want my daughter to know her history and I want her to know the TRUTH about that history, not what is taught in American history books. It has taken alot of gentle prodding on both mine and my husbands part to get her to slowly start opening up about the past. Im excited about this and can't wait to soak up all the knowledge she is willing to share.

No- not really. I seriously think that many Americans tend to "glamourize" all things international-particularly when it comes to healthcare and time off. Sadly, if they actually did their research instead of accepting without question what many in our media would have us believe they would find out that the grass is not greener. We are in very unpatriotic times I believe and it makes me sad that we cannot feel the greatness of the USA. And worse yet that sentiment starts at the top.

What I would be interested in is the things like the red dye that are banned in Europe but not here.

Yes I do get interested, I saw the movie "Babies" and I loved just because that. I come from Mexico and there some difference in parenting, no necessary better or worst but different. Potty training for example is done earlier then here and diets (what some parents feed their babies) that I don't see often in here, etc. Is always good to know other cultures as in a way or other we are connected.

I adopted from Guatemala and know others who did. the babies are held and carried a lot! anyone and everyone holds them I want to assure Candi F that although there will be a difference in motor skills it will eventually even out. My son spent his first 6 months in Guatemala and NEVER was on the floor the pediatrician wrote delayed motor skills his first few checkups (he had more frequent checkups) but was eventually crawling and then took his first steps on his first birthday. by two he was advanced in gross motor skills! This is an interesting thread Hope more people contribute. Lola N I'd love to know where were you raised? I think a lot about the difference between the past and present here in US in terms of child raising, extended family vs nuclear, not the conflict between SAHM and working outside the home because Moms did so MUCH work at home that they needed help from hubby, Gmom, aunts, cousins or older kids.

I definitely am, before becoming a mother I was always interested in everything about other cultures, but even more now. I would be interested in the "I bet you didn't know this" type facts and figures.

I am currently raising my 9 month old son in Mexico, I am from MInnesota and met my husband (Mexican) here. His family is, for lack of a better word, hypochondriac...all of them. When it's 80+ degrees here his mom freaks out because I have my son in a tank top and shorts and she has her granddaughter in three layers (light layers) and will put a light jacket on her to go outside because "it's windy." They seem to think here that wind makes kids sick.

Many times I realize I'm doing something that I would've never thought to do in the US. I give my sons tortillas to play with and he loves ripping them to pieces, or feeding him the broth made from boiling black beans...these are some random examples but I have many examples of times I realize my mom would've never done that.

One thing that kind of worries me is that in Mexico nobody takes their shoes off in their house. I've gotten used to it now, but at first my family here looked at me like I was dirty because I'd walk around bare foot or in socks on the tile floor. They have some sort of hang up about their bare feet touching a floor, especially tile...so my son doesn't get down to crawl a whole lot, he crawls in circles on the bed and it makes me worried that he will not develop his walking skills on time. But I guess I'm also comparing it to American standards where kids are on carpeted floors most of the time.

I know this is getting long, but another difference I have noticed is that they seem to frown upon modern medicine. My husband's family all goes to a homeopathic doctor and gasp a the medicines I used to give my son from a modern medicine doctor for his acid reflux. Or the fact that breast feeding in public is nothing close to taboo like it is in the US. There are some women who are on the bus and don't even bother to cover up, they just let it all hang out and hope the kid's head covers their boob.

I have tons of experiences that have stuck out to me, so I would definitely enjoy reading something about other customs.

My husband is European and I lived in Germany for 6 years... I am VERY interested in and try to petition and advocate for change here in the USA for these following practices:

Breastfeeding mainly, formula only for necessary situations
Lactation rooms
Paid maternity leave of at least 9 months
Midwives only except for in very high risk pregnancies
Birth at home, hospitals only in case of emergency or very high risk
More Mother friendly work places with flexible schedules
National free health care and dental care

I'm sure there are more... but those are the main ones. I feel pregnancy and birth experience is a major aspect of child raising - which is why I listed them too.

P.S. the parts of Europe I've been myself and the places in which my close friends and family are from: Netherlands, Germany, Canada, France, Czech republic, Sweden and Poland - are all big on breastfeeding their children and would only consider formula as a last resort if things didn't work out to breastfeed.

I am very interested in how other countries discipline their toddlers. I've studied it on my own while traveling (Europe, India, Japan) and asking friends from other countries, but I would love to read all about it. We do things so differently here in the US. We've traveled to Europe with toddlers, but not lived abroad since I was a teen in the 80's.