Infant Developing the Screeching/screaming Habit

My son got that habit from his uncles because they think that it is funny! lol I didn't much. But anyway I was able to get him to stop by telling him no don't do that I think that he was the same age as yours. He is now ten months and he will occasionally scream but I just tell Him no and he will stop. So I was just a little firm with him and it seemed to work for me so good luck I hope that you can get her to stop cause I know how you feel. Being a single mom and everything.
good luck
K. D. Mother of a 10 month old and loving it!

Time for Love and Logic. If you get the chance, take the course through Rocky Mountain Christian Church or other sight...look at website. Your son is not too young to start showing him loving limits. When he is doing un acceptable behavior. Kidly pick him up (fake it if you need to) and say: We do not scream, I will pick you up when you are done. Then place him in his crib, or other "safe" zone (I always had my playpen up in the living room downstairs for these reasons.) Also use this for when he tosses his bottle, etc. Say:uh oh, that is sad you did that, now you are done. With time, he will figure out that you ONLY reward positive behaviors. Do not let there be rewards for negative behaviors, only seperation from what he wants most...you.

M.,
5 1/2 months is pretty young to be copying another child. I think it is a better assumption that coincidentally something else has started at the same time your child was around your nephew. I would make sure everything is ok (diaper, food, tummy aches, etc) and then if the behavior persists talk to your doctor to make sure you aren't starting into some colic. It could also be teeth. A good teething ring might calm her right down. Develpmentally 5 1/2 months is pretty action/response. By that I mean that your child will cry to get something she needs, or to get attention to an ailment. She isn't old enough to be mimicking poor behaviors of another child. The best plan is to respond warmly to her needs, give her cuddles and hold her if that is what helps. Teaching her to be calm will come back to you as having a calm child.
Good Luck!
J.

my guess is she is just trying to get your attention. if you give her attention she probably won't scream. and your baby is just learning how to make noise and use her voice, she is probably loving this new noise she has discovered and would want her mommy to be excited for her. i would suggest you give her attention and make softer or similar noise without being so screechy. they try to mimic everything we do.

My son is 4 1/2 months old, and has never been around toddlers, or other babies for that matter. He screams, when he's having fun, when he's angry... She is just exploring her vocal abilities... Try to get her to mimic your sounds, on a softer level... I don't recommend ignoring (not giving attention to) her, as she's just learning... just like you and I are!! There really isn't anything you CAN do to stop it, just let it run its course. And theres no reason to get embarassed... You should be proud, your baby girl is trying new things!! I was concerned with my sons screeching (yes, more of a screech... really loud too), but once my mother explained what he was doing, I didn't get embarassed anymore. I smile, apologize to people around us when he does it, and none of them seem to mind.
Congratulations on your bundle of joy!! (and, yes, noise :)

Hey M.! I don't know that my advice sounds nice but both of my boys went through this phase and it is not good when you are in restaurants or airplanes. Before a trip across the country I knew I had to stop it or I would be kicked out of the plane (no doubt while in flight.) I had tried everything and it nothing worked...until I tried something that may sound a bit cruel. But if you get desperate.....Everytime that high pitched scream came out I would give him a little pinch. Just like Pavlov's dog theory, after a few tries he learned not to scream. Now, I was not bruising him or causing him to cry---just making him stop and think to himself, "Every time I cry I get this ouch! I think I'll stop." And that was that for both children---though my second one was a bit slower of a learner. (Just a stubborn little guy, he is)

Good luck and let me know how you make out.

J.

Don't worry its just a stage they go through. My baby is the same age and she does the same thing. She just testing her lungs and vocal chords. Her phase lasted about 2-4 weeks where ALL she did was scream. Now she's toning it down a bit. More cooing and stuff in between the screams. Mostly its just happy screams right? Not pain screams? I found out my baby had an ear infection...has your baby had a cold recently? If so watch to see if they grab their ear. That's hwo I found out.
Othgerwise, get some earplugs, and ride it out. Once they get pass this stage they learn to say mopre stuff. Talk to your baby a lot and they may get the idea of an inside voice. Still use a sweet voice though. I tell my Porsha, "Mama is right here you don't need to yell so loud.I hear you all day long." But if you say it sweet she relaxes and doesn't scream as much.
I grew up with 7 brothers and sisters. I have 14 nieces and nephews and 5 great-nieces and nephews. If I don't know somethign I call them. If you want to email me that's cool. I call my family everyday... if you need help. ____@____.com
Just an offer... I know it gets hard.MOre power to you.

I understand what you mean about looking for good parenting methods. One thing that has really helped to break free of the behaviorist paradigm--where we try to modify our children's behavior--is the Gordon Neufeld Power to Parent course. I would recommend it to you, it really changed the way I look at being a parent. Maybe it is happening in your area.

Don't worry, she's just finding her voice and has discovered a new sound. All three of my kids did it and (usually) by 7 months she'll start to form words instead. My kids never screeched for longer than a month. My neice did it for about two months. I hated it too but just remembered to speak to my kids in a regular (calm) voice. On the other hand some kids, like your nephew, like the sound of it and continue it. I have a friend who has a daughter like this, but my friend never corrects her or asks her to calm down (the child is almost 3). I think it's okay to try to correct the child's screeches when they get old enough to understand and listen. Hope this helps.

K. in MT

This is going to come as no help and probably no comfort. But ALL my four kids did the same thing at some point. My youngest is 7 months old and she's in that phase right now. My oldest started it around 11 months, and quit after a few months when it didn't get her any reaction and she realized there really wasn't a point to it. My twin boys started it around 9 months and they would feed off of each other and do it even more often than my daughter. They are 21 months now and still do it once in a while when they are very upset about something. My first didn't "learn" it from anyone. She figured it out on her own. My youngest may have picked up on it from my boys, but all of them do it. Yes, it's annoying and embarrassing in public, but there's really not much you can do about it until she decides to stop on her own. Don't give her any extra attention from it. Whether it's negative (telling her no) or positive, or even neutral. If she's doing it to see what reaction she gets, she won't do it forever if she doesn't get one. If she's doing it to experiment with her voice, she'll eventually move on to the next interesting task or skill. If it really bothers you, avoid places where it will be embarassing for a while. If that's not possible, than just know that the only people who will be negatively judging you are the ones who have never had kids. (and what do they know anyway?) The ones who have will almost undoubtedly have experienced the same thing at one point or another. Good luck.

I have a son that started screeching and I would tell him to talk nice or sing and I would give him an example... a a a a, la la la, ma ma ma... or even just blowing bubbles.... distract her from the screeching and teach her something that you can handle... She is finding she has a voice at this age and you can help her by teaching her the pleasant sounds... She wants to communicate and she needs to. I wouldn't ignore it, it is a great opportunity for you as a parent to teach her, if she isn't saying ahahahahahah... bababab... dadadada... these are usually the first sounds they will start with my 1st son as we worked with him would go on for ever saying mamamamamamamama, it was sweet to listen to compared to screeching...

If you want to try something fun to help her communicate with you in, try sign language- We used a set of three DVD called signing times (play time signs and everyday signs) It is a large set but we only used the first three in the series because it was the communication we needed- They teach eat, milk, more, ball.... it was great we used the first video until they were over 1 and then introduced the other two.... By the time our sons were 6 months they could tell us they were hungry, wanted milk, or more... it was really fun to be able to communicate with them before they could talk.

Hello M.,

I recommend two foundational parenting books, which both speak to responding to strong emotional outbursts. The first is "How To Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids will Talk," by Faber and Mazlish. Your daughter is not too young for you to get a lot out of this book. The second book, if you want to evolve even further in your parenting, is "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves: Transforming the parent-child relationships from reaction and struggle to freedom, power and joy" by Naomi Aldort. Enjoy this parenting journey! ~T.

Hi M.-
Don't worry...that is just the screeching age. My daughter was about the same age when we took her out to a really nice restaurant, like we had always been able to do, and had to leave. We then realized only kid friendly restaurants were in out future for a while. They love the sound of their own voices. This is the time to really start conversing with her. When she screeches, talk back, ask questions ("Oh my....did you like that *insert whatever*?" "And then what happened?") This is how they learn words and rhythms of speech. My daughter and I "spoke" like this together and I don't know if this is why, but she spoke early, and clearly at an early age. Enjoy her...it passes so quickly!
N.

M., You didn't mention if you have a specific need for being around your nephew, such as child care, etc. If you have no reasonable need, I'd cut the visiting time WAY down. Your child needs to come first here, and even entertaining the thought of what someone else might think of the choices you make for the betterment of your child isn't healthy. My mother never stood up for me with obnoxious cousins, and at the age of 55, I'm still angry about it. D.

Hi - my daughter did the same thing at the same age. Happy, tired, just for fun. My eardrums would shake, and I would get splitting headaches. But it is just something new she is trying out. I agree with the mom who recommended ear plugs, they were a lifesaver; for us it lasted about 4 weeks, then stopped, then started again for another week or so, before she stopped completely. Hang in there.

M.,

Could your little girl feel like she was finally been given permission to let your voice be heard?
I believe these little ones have a lot they want to share with us. Of course, I don't have a clue what they are trying to say, but have discovered great pleasure in listening.

Do you really want your little one to get the message this early in her life that what she wishes to share is not important?

How can you shift the way she is vocalizing into something that both of you will appreciate? What is it that your daughter is trying to teach you?

Thank you for you being willing to raise this precious gem.

With Joy, C.
Loving Connections LLC

Hi, I have 3 Boys and I know what you're talking about with the screaming. But don't worry, she's just checking out her voice. My middle Boy used to do that and it was very painful for all of us hearing it, I thought I was going to be deaf afterwards! I say just let it run its course, eventually she'll stop.

take heart!! it is a normal phase! you may just have a very expressive baby girl. my little girl does the same thing and it is super embarrasing at times(like at church or the line at the grocery store)i tell her no(when she is screaming too loud) and tap her little mouth gently so she knows what the "no" was about, but mostly i ignore the screaming and know that it is a phase that will probably pass when she finds some new mode of expression. hang in there, like most baby phases "this too shall pass" , N.

Oh, I think that is when my son son started his screaming, much how you described it except he picked it up on his own. My sister-in-law had a baby the same age and when her baby started screaming she would flick her hand everytime she screamed. I tried it with my son and it never worked. He has been a screamer since and he is two now. I know this is not the advice you are looking for, but my son has grown out of it and only screams occasionally. So there is hope. Good luck. Hopefully someone can be more helpful than I was, but I do know how you feel and do have sympathy for you. Good luck.

Hello, children tend to pick up habits of other children they are around...sometimes they'll act that way for a few days, maybe a week then it will usually disappear. However, babies this age have 'discovered' their voice and it's their biggest way of communicating right now (until they can talk) so it's wise to never scold for using their voice. This is quite typical behavior - hang in there, you'll get used to it.

This is very normal in all children, even the nephew, there isn't anything you can really do to stop it she is loving the sound of her voice and yes even the rection she gets from it. My youngest (19 months) still loves to do it on occassion he's just old enough to ask him not to be so loud.

It is a plus she is doing this. Normal so normal.
She has found her voice, loves hearing it and loves to mimic what she hears. It is great, irratating sometimes but it is great and will pass to babble soon enough, then onto talking! Just forewarning once a girl learns to talk she doesn't stop, hee hee............!!!!! Just wait until the "whats dat" or "why" stage starts, hee hee. Enjoy it, hard to do but enjoy it.
You cannot stop it at all sorry.

Ignoring it (tho difficult!) is probably the best way to make it stop. The other thing you can do is look her in the eye and say in a very quiet voice, "no screaming, we use our inside voice." She won't really understand what you're saying, but she'll hear your quiet, calm tone and get the picture.

I don't think this has anything to do with your nephew. She is just learning to vocalize purposefully and with intent. That is all. You shouldn't be embarrased, she is not doing anything wrong or trying to be loud and obnoxious. She may just be asking for your attention, but she is still so young she can't say, "mommy please talk to me" She is perfectly normal. Don't worry yet about the nephew rubbing off, there will be plenty of time for that, for now, enjoy watching you daughter to learn how to use her body and mind.

The screeching and screaming your probably experiencing may be entirely different than that of your 1 year old nephew. I would suggest to talk to your child's pediatrician, but my guess is that your child may be teething. It's common for children to be teething at your child's age. It is also common for children to scream during this uncomfortable time. One way to see if your child is teething is to look inside her mouth and see if her gums are swollen, red, and that she is drooling a lot. There are ways to comfort your child with this teething process. Both of my children, when they were teething would scream and screech about almost anything. The best advice for your age of child is to comfort the child. Talking to your pediatrition can give you the advice to help comfort your child as best as possible. When we as adults are in pain, we hate when no one comforts us, its the same with children. I hope this advice helps even though its a few weeks late.

A little about me: I have a masters in Child Development and have two children of my own.