Do You Let 14 Month Old Scream at You?

Really I thinks its just a phase. My youngest used to screech around this age. I never put him in a time out for this at a year old they don't understand a time out. They should be started around 2 maybe even a little later depending on the child. I found the quickest way to get the screeching to stop was to ignore it. He is doing it for attention and has learned that if he screeches you will give him attention even though its negative attention its still attention.

My daughter used to screech in the grocery store while riding in the cart when she was about 1 1/2. Leaving the store was not an option because that's EXACTLY what she wanted. It was a very difficult time. Trying to convince her in a whisper that if we left, she would be having a time-out, not just escaping the store sometimes helped, but part of what was helping was just me giving her attention (because I was threatening her) in the store. She eventually outgrew the screaming. Good luck. Not giving in is important.

A., it sounds like you are having a frustrating time :)

He continues the behavior pattern because it works for him, even negative attention is attention. I think the issue is that he is used to having you constantly, and in the afternoons, you are suddenly not there and he's thinking "Mom, what gives, you are supposed to entertain me!"

I have two suggestions. First, start making time in the morning when it is just the two of you for him to have alone play. It may only be for 5 or 10 minutes to begin with, but it is a start. You can be in the room, but do not actively participate. As he gets used to it, expand the time and distance yourself so he can learn to play by him self for a period of time (20 or 30 minutes).

Once he realizes that he can have fun without you directly entertaining him, you can put him in the same situation when it is time for the older kids to work on homework and he won't be depending on you for his sole entertainment.

Now, to the screeching, you can try to ignore it for a time...it will be hard, but if he realizes that he doesn't get what he wants by screeching, he will eventually stop. Reward him with praise, hugs and such when he finds positive ways to communitcate. Show him how you want him to communicate...but remember he is still a babe :)

Is it possible to have the older children rotate in their homework time? While those with shorter assignments are working, let the others play with the baby to distract him' then switch it around?

Good Luck.

My daughter went through this at that age - we called her Screamy McScreamerson because it seemed that was all she did for attention. She didn't even have to be mad or upset - she would just randomly scream. To be honest, it just took time. You can continue to put him in time outs, or try ignoring it (if you can!) if he is doing for attention in the car or high chair, since even negative attention is still attention. I remember just saying to my daughter a lot, "No screaming!" I would get down on her level and look her square in the face and tell her "No more screaming!" It would stop for the moment but it still went on for what seemed like months. Until finally one magical day it just stopped. I remember going the whole day and noticing that she had not screamed once. I think it's hard for them at this age because they don't really have the words or the ability to express themselves, and their impulse control is like, zero. I don't know how much this helps, except to say that it does get better over time. My daughter is now 3, and her think now is fake crying - going "Wah-hah-hah-hah!" but no tears. I think I am raising a future actress.

This is normal behavior. I cannot stand the screaming /screeching either..Ear plugs and lots of them till you can get him to stop this..

You need to tell him, "inside voice" . Give this instruction in a quiet voice..
The best thing to do if you can stand it is to tell him, "I do not answer to screaming."" I do not answer to screeching." Use your regular voice". Or "use your words".. .

He is still really young and not totally verbal, so with everything going on, this is way of really getting your attention. If you ignore it as much as possible he will realize that you do not respond to this behavior.. I know it is easier said than done.. But you can help him start to break this habit..

Our daughter was an early talker so I could tell her this and she understood, but we had a neighbor child that spoke and reacted with screeching and screaming.. and spoke in a screeching, screaming voice for years! Ugh..

We finally got her to understand, "unless you are bleeding or a body part is about to fall off of you, please use your regular voice".

First, I wouldn't do time-outs in his room, you don't want his room to be a punishment.

When my son screeched, we just said "Inside voice" and would whisper to him. I would also tell, "You do not yell at me." I would let him know that when he could talk in a nice voice, that I would talk with him, not before. It took a lot of turning my back on a screaming child, but it worked.

If he comes up and asks for you, let him know that you are talking to Tom, and will let him know when it is his turn. This is hard for a 14 month old to understand, but it is a good foundation to start now.

Of course you don't allow it, but at 14 mos, it's not so much about allowing it as being able to stop it. Teaching is a slow process that requires absolute consistancy. If it woks, he'll continue to do it. I would just make him calm down before giving him attention. If he screams you can put him in time out, but it's probably only going to make him scream more. You can use words to explain this. At this age, I think the best way to stop it is to be proactive about engaging his attention before he is going to scream. He's not going to stop wanting your attention just because you need to focus on something else, no matter how much you need him to. I'd have someone focused on playing with him while you help the other kids. Don't ever give him what he wants if he's screaming. That is something you teach your children from a very young age. Screaming can't work for him.

My kids never self-entertained. They still don't. That's their personality. I can make them leave me alone now, but it's not a pleasant thing for them. Other kids do play by themselves. One thing a 14 mo. old doesn't do is conform.

Be proactive. Good luck.

He is doing it because it works. Just because it is a negative outcome, it still gets your attention on him. This is also developmentally appropriate for a child this age. THey do not always have the words to express their feelings. When he does this, give him a sharp reprimand and then give him the words to express himself- "like Mommy play with me" or something.

Give him his own "homework". A coloring book or dot to dot or something like that, that he can do at the table while everyone else is doing their work. THat includes him in the process and maybe the screeching will stop.

Good Luck

I think he's screeching because he gets what he wants when he does it. He gets a reaction from you. If he no longer got a reaction from you, he would probably stop.
It sounds like he does have your attention during the day, so maybe that's not it. He just wants a reaction.

Do the other kids giggle or react when he does this? That probably makes him happy to get a reaction from them too.
Everyone is going to have to band together and pretend you don't hear him when he does it.

Blood curdling screech. Ignore it? Maybe to a certain degree but I absolutely would not ignore it but he also wouldn't get what he is wanting. Letting them continue leads to screeching in the store when you really hope they act right. My older son now 9 and now my 17 mth old both went through this phase. Just because he can't talk does not mean that screeching is the only way he can communicate. You need to teach him that when he wants your attention to do it another way. My boys both will come up and put their hand either on my arm or my leg, if I'm on the phone or talking to someone, and that lets me know they want to say something or need something. If not on the phone they just say mom in an inside voice. Then I will finish talking or doing whatever and give them my full attention. My 17mth old still tries the screaming or tantrum every now and then and I immediately correct it by getting down on his level and explain to him as though I would tell my 9 yr old how he should behave. He understands a lot more than you think he does and if you teach him now that behavior is not acceptable he'll stop doing it. Especially when you praise him for getting your attention the correct way. If he's throwing a tantrum on your floor definitely get up and leave the room but screaming is not something to ignore. It causes more stress in you and others around you than a tantrum and if he's doing it to get your attention it's because he doesn't know how else to do it and just needs to be taught. I expect my children to act respectful and well mannered so I'm quick to nip it in the butt.

In the car I would pull over if at all possible and just sit in the car until he stops. Don't even say anything until he looks curious. Then explAin how dangerous it is to scream while mommy is driving because she needs to concentrate. My kids used to send me over the edge doing this while I was driving and it is dangerous. If you are going somewhere he wants to go then say from the outset that if he screams, you will turn right around and go home. And then do it. It is a phase but not one I could tolerate!!
Good luck!

My daughter used to do that when she was a toddler, i'd just put her in her play pen with no toys and would literally ignore her until she stopped.

because you are giving him the attention he wants when he does this, he's learning that's HOW to get your attention. next time you put him in his room, and ignore him LEAVE him there until he stops whether it's 1 minute, or an hour, it'll take time and consistancy on your part but eventually he'll learn he cannot do this to get your attention.

I think all kids do this around this age. Mine sure did. I pretty much ignored it. Its their way of trying to tell us something. They don't posess the verbal skills yet to tell us what they are trying to say, so they do the only thing they can...screech! I never punished my daughter for it. Why would I punish my child for trying to communicate with me? She outgrew it. Yours will too. Yes its annoying, but its just part of having a toddler. Good luck to you.

You mentioned you watch sign language videos with your son, is he deaf? the screeching maybe a way of him trying to get your attention. If not then when he does, if he is in his high chair and he pulls that on you, have a glass of cold water nearby, and throw it in his face. the shock will stop it and you have his undivided attention, and you can tell him no.It's a form of control. you have to break the link in his brain, and shock him to listen to you, and he will learn that it is not permitted to scream at you like that.

I really would just ignore the behavior. I would pretend he's not doing it at all. Prolly be hard to do but the only reason he is doing it is to get attention and it must be working or he wouldn't be doing it. I wouldn't bother trying to yell over him so he can hear you just ignore him. Kind of be robotic about feeding him and I think the bad habit will end. Maybe get some earplugs for a while wouldn't hurt either ")
Best Regards,
C.

I agree that you should try ignoring it, but ignore it while he's in his room. When my son throws a tantrum for not getting his way, I tell him to go cry in his room. He goes and sits on his time-out chair and comes out of his room when he's done crying. (He's 2.5, so make adjustments for your son.) But I agree to let him screech in his room and he can come back out when he's done, whether it's 30 minutes or 5 minutes. He'll get the point. And at the highchair -- do the same. Take him out. Tell him he can screech in his room but cannot finish his meal until he is ready to stop screeching.

My first was a screecher as well, just a loud kid. It has gotten much better as he has gotten old enough to learn about the whole inside outside voice thing. Mine is still a loud kid at three but he can moderate if he tries to, so I think it will get better. I think the time out thing is ok, maybe that will help him realize that he does have to share you. Mine had no other kids around at that age and still screeched a lot. Good luck!!

A friend of mine has a daughter that does this and it started about the same time your son is in age. She did it though when she didn't get what she wanted or had something taken away. Let me say that she is almost 2 and still does it.

At 14 months, its just his way of communicating. He doesn't have many other resources to do it. Unless he can talk, you probably won't be able to d much except just keep doing what you are doing and reiterate that screeching is not the way to get Momma's attention.

When my daughter did this, she was a little bit older so I washed her mouth with soap and it stopped after two times. Your son is probably too young. When my friend's son did this, she just tried to ignore it. Let me tell you how frustrating it was for me to have them in my home! For no reason at all, he would just let out the never-ending, high-pitched screech... When she asked me what to do, I suggested asking her pediatrician what she could put in a squirt bottle to spray in his mouth (like lemon juice). She never did and the screaming went on for months!

Have you taught your son any sign language? That might help with his inability to communicate. And it might be fun for the whole family. Another friend's kids loved teaching their little sister new signs.

If ignoring isn't helping, I would check with the pediatrician...