In Law Issues

I have In Laws although they arent the ones watching my daughter. My mom does. This is a hard one to respond too as I understand how you feel. I only work part time too in the evenings. Only twice a week. When I get home, I expect all to be cleaned up, and them ready to walk out the door. They do. I have discussed this with my mom, and she understands. I do however also understand that his sister is his sister, and she prob does think that she is in the way or that she is upsetting you. I would sit her down or while you both are folding a load of laundry together, just let her know first off that you are glad, and proud to be her sister in law, and that you have been grateful she has been able to help you in such a huge way. Tell her that Sundays are now going to be daddy daughter days, and that she is only needed on saturdays. She will either get mad or be glad. Then tell your hubby that sundays are going to be daddy daughter days from now on. Explain to him that his sister doesnt need to always be there when you are not. Explain to hime that this is your home too....Talk it out, and find a solution.

WHAT I WOULD IS TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT IT AND IF DON'T WORK I WOULD FIND ANOTHER BABYSITTER . JUST UNTIL YOUR HUSBAND GETS HOME FROM WORK ON SATURDAYS. IF YOU HAD SOMEONE ELSE WATCH THE CHILDERN THEN HE WOULD HAVE TO CAME HOME AND COULD NOT MAKE ANY MORE PLANS NOT TO SPEND TIME WITH THE GIRLS. WHEN MY IN LAWS DID THAT TO ME I JUST GOT ANOTHER BABYSITTER AND MADE HIM PAY FOR IT . I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU OUT GOOD LUCK AND LET ME KNOW IF IT HELPED.

I wouldn't worry about the siter in law right away becasue it sounds like you snd hubby have diffrent expectations. No you aren't crazy, you need to talk to hubby and work out what you both want you both are happy with. I agree that your hubby should take care of the kids if he is not working. I mena if he need s to run an errand thats one thing but if he is there all these people do not need to be at your home. But again I think this is between you and hubby, have hubby tell HIS family not to be there so much.

While its nice to have the help, you need to speak with hubby about what you want while you are at work. Its not unreasonable you want him to spend time with his children. I think you should find out why he doesn't wnat the care. Is he afraid to be left alone with child care?

I can definitely sympathize with your in law issues. My inlaws always drop by unannounced and it drives me crazy! Every time I hear that doorbell ring...well, I'm just so excited if it's only the mailman! I have the pleasure of having 2 sets of in-laws, both living less than a mile away:)
But, they will watch my son if it fits their schedule. So, I really can't say anything. I do however drive him to their house. That way, when I pick him up I can say "oh, I'd better get him home and fed". Can you drop your kids off at her house? Is it at all convenient? This way, the in-laws can go there and stay there. Or, maybe make plans by yourself, with friends, or with the kids that night to go to a movie or dinner. I know you probably just want to go home and relax in your own home after working but family is better than a babysitter in my mind. They get to spend time (alot of time) with their grandparents. Those are my 2 ideas. Hope something works. And I agree with Rachel, your husband needs to move them along, not you. My fiance doesn't really get the whole annoyance of in-laws dropping in. He thinks the more the merrier. So for now, I just smile and think how grateful I am when they watch my son. Good luck!
N. W

This is a hard situation. But, it is best to find the grace in it. Most people do not get the support from family they need for deserve. Too much is not always good, but it could be the other extreme. You can't control what your husband does, and I agree, he should stay home and take care of his children and spend time with them. You can tell him and everyone else how you feel, and leave the rest to the big Higher Power.

Hi Christime. I am sorry i really do not know waht to tell you about this issue. Maybe you could act like you have plans to go away or something so she gets the hint and leaves. As far as Sunday goes I would tell your husband that he has to keep the kids that he is the father and you stay with the kids when he is working~ so he needs to do his share instead of taking adantage of his sister. I have just the opposite problem with my inlaws. My MIL has never seen my 6 mth old son and it has been over a year since she saw my 3 yr old daughter.We have NO support from his side of the family what so ever and they live 5 mins away from us. I wish you luck.

LisaR

Oh, I go through the same thing. I only work weekends 16hour shifts,so that I can be home with my daughter all week,and that seems to be when my in-laws want to watch my daughter for my husband. So he can watch his football,or whatever and I fight with him because, I feel the same way that he should stay with my daughter and spend time with her since he works all week. So if you find an answer to this problem let me know,because I've been going through it for 2years.

It is nice to have a babysitter when you need one. You can not wait for your husband to say something to his sister. Because that is his sister. Believe me I have been in this situation before. The only thing you can do is speak the truth and wait for it to change. Because if you don't want her around he will eventually hold it against you. So just try to make the best of this situation. I feel for you!

one option, is let her know how much you appreciate her help, and tell her, that you want to show her how much you really appreciate how she is going out of her way for you and your husband by bringing the kids to her, that way when you get off work, you pick up the kids, tell her how you want to get home, and soak your feet, or you have to put the roast in the oven.... as to your husband, does he make other plans every weekend? Im sure he loves the children, and does want to spend quality time with them, but every once in a while, everybody needs to have a break. Try keeping track of hjow often he does go do guy stuff, if its excessive, every chance he gets, point it out. Good luck.

C.,

I feel like you are telling my story. I also have a very over powering sister-in-law who does not know when to leave. I am a first time mother of 3 month old twins. My sister-in-law has no life of her own. She is not married or does not have any children. She wants to be at our house all of the time!!! I totally feel for you!

Sincerely,
L.

Ah the wonderful world of in-laws! The in-laws and your sister in law probably don't feel like they have stepped over any boundries because your husband has not set any. Your husband needs to repect your feelings about them staying to long and he needs to address the issue with them NOT YOU. I don't know what to tell you about his lack of response. I too have a husband who has a hard time telling his mother to stop being so controlling and he only ever says something when I am on the verge of tears of frustration. (Have you pulled out the tears yet!:) If he continues to not listen to you, you will have to take action. I would suggest finding another baby sitter. If your sister in-law addresses you about the issue just tell her the truth in the nicest way possible. Your in-laws and your husband should also repect that you do not want a house full of company when you get home from work. It will just get worse and worse if you continue to not say anything. Keep on your husband till he says soemthing, GOOD LUCK!