IEP Meeting - Questions?

They will go over how the school does therapy, etc. Depending on services he's qualified for each therapist may or may not attend. They usually have it pretty laid out. There's not too much to ask, unless something strikes you when going through the plan.

Hi 1stTimeMommy

Please readjust your thinking just a bit. This is very very important. You state that this meeting is to discuss his shortcomings. (You do also say it is to discuss what your hopes and goals are for him as he grows up). This frames him in a negative light. Which I'm sure you don't mean. He's probably the light of your life. So, talk about the part of him that is autistic in the same way (yep, new diagnosis, you're still getting used to it... I know) that you talk about the part of him that is really (good / easy/ funny etc) positive.

It's a bit of a semantic argument. But please please please never say "shortcomings" again. Choose whatever words you want. When I had an IEP meeting for my daughter her advocate told me this was the meeting to discuss "the support services for which she is entitled that will enable her to be the best kid she can be". It was not to discuss her shortcomings. Quite frankly.... your son doesn't have any. He simply has areas in which he needs some additional tools in order to do his work in life (not to minimize - I understand the gravity).

The only advice I will give is that you should treat this IEP meeting the same way you treat your OB/GYN appt. Or the appt when you are sick. You are an EQUAL and you are the advocate for your son. It's not "these people" sitting around a table telling you what they'll do. Establish it as a partnership where you all want to find the best solution for you son to maximize his care. The same level of participation that you would have with your physician about your sinus infection or birth control (but I know my sinuses and I don't think xyz is the best course of treatment... explain to me why you think we should do an iud instead of the pill.... well what if 123... when could we re-evaluate if I don't feel better etc etc etc.) is the same level of ownership and partnership you should have at this IEP meeting.

Typically you re-evaluate an IEP annually, with a complete re-test at the 3rd IEP year mark. That may be IL state guidelines though. And autism may be a bit different IEP, if it also includes a 504. I'm not sure about that.

Also remember that he doesn't have to go to the local elementary school in order for them to provide services to meet his needs and help him succeed. That's part of what your home owner taxes are for; to fund those programs. So, even if you decide to attend another school you will still get services through your local school. Which means establishing a partnership that is that much stronger.

Good Luck!!!!!

Fight for as much therapy as you can get. If you can, take someone who has been through the process. I know you don't have a lot of time to find someone; take your husband also if possible!

We do therapy outside of school as well as inside.

Here is what you may want to consider asking.
What are your goals for him?
Communication?
Care of himself - independence
Social Skills

Then ask what will be expected from you.
Will you all be getting any type of parenting classes to help guide him?

The people at the meeting will have been to tons of these - this will be your first. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand something. Don't let them rush you. Don't let them make you feel dumb.

I remember my first IEP meeting, and I allowed the school people to push me into something that I knew wasn't right for my son -- gosh this seems like a million years ago. I figured they were the "professionals" and I was just the mom - they must know better.

Since then I have learned a lot, especially that I'm the #1 advocate for my son. Approach the meetings as a member of a team, and you're all on the same team with the same goal, doing what's best for your child.

I am somewhat cynical about IEP meetings since it took us 3 years and 3 tries to get my daughter on an IEP for dyslexia. We were only successful after we hired a legal advocate and brought the neuropsychologist who tested her to the last meeting. My feeling is that our school district flat out denies IEP's unless they have no other choice - they even stated that they "did not agree" with the diagnosis from a respected clinician who did her testing. There were about 7 to 9 people on "their" side of the table, all very concerned and serious, and it was me and my husband on our side at first. We could not make any sensible argument around all the test scores and abbreviations they threw at us (she made this score on the DIBBLS and this on the WIATII, etc). Once we hired an advocate and she reviewed and took our case and came with us, that is when she was able to counter every single one of their arguments as to why our daughter DID qualify when they said she didn't. So I would definitely go in with the team spirit attitude, but keep in mind that the fox is guarding the hen-house (i.e. the school district needs to pay for services and is also the one to determine if your son gets them). I would make sure that you have base-line testing, so you know where he stands today, so that in future meetings you can argue for more services if he is not improving in specific areas that were tested. For my daughter that is reading and writing, but for your son the areas most needing improvement are probably different. And definitely take notes, or even bring a tape recorder and ask if you can record it since you are new to this and would like to review the details again later. Good luck, it can be a long road but perhaps with a more obvious learning issue the result is quicker. Dyslexia is hard to see and the teachers claimed she was anxious and needed counseling, this for a girl who never walks and only skips and dances everywhere.

Feel comfortable taking notes to help you remember everything that is discussed at the meeting, that's what professionals do at meetings, right? so take your pad and pencil and a list of questions with you.
If there are potty training issues make sure you and the school are going at it the same way. Assuming there are communication issues, discuss if sign language is appropriate and how you can support this at home.

I HATE to be the one to bring this up... but IEPs and advocating for special needs kids through the school system is frought with sooooooo many problems, loopholes, common mistakes (on both sides; parental and school) that there are whole BOOKS written on the subject, and dozens and dozen of articles... as well as actual *classes*.

Here's a good place to start:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/

Ask who will be working with your son, how often you will be meeting with them and what the schools hopes / goals are. Ask what the student / teacher ratio is. Most schools will have a resource room that children are in. they will be mainstreamed as much as possible but they will be apart for other parts. Ask how they will be handling that. Ask what their success ratio is. And how do they determine success for a child?

An IEP meeting is held to develop a plan that suits your child's NEEDS. Not his diagnosis. Not the other kids in the class. What suits him and his unique skills and needs. I do not know what he needs, but I would suggest that you listen at the meeting, try to take notes, be sure to ask what services will be offered in the summer and what the transportation services are, and get the name and role of each participant. Do not sign anything except that you are attending at the meeting. The plan will be mailed to you afterwards. Do not agree to anything that you do not understand. Ask for an additional meeting with the Team Chairperson (on the IEP) or the classroom teacher, to have everything re-explained if you need it. Many blessings. I hope you find the most professional staff to guide you, but remember, you know your child best.