Ideas for Motivating 10 Year Old Boys

Updated on February 24, 2007
R.T. asks from Santa Rosa, CA
12 answers

My 10 y.o. so is having a lot of problems focusing on his school work. This isn't a new thing, but the older he gets the more troublesome it becomes. He doesn't appear to have ADD, and when doing something he enjoys the focus is there. The new teacher he has this year said she wanted to test him for dyslexia, I think it's a good idea, but the school hasn't done anything yet. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get him motivated to do better in school? Do you have any tips on working with a child with dyslexia?

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C.L.

answers from San Diego on

The best response I've gotten from my son is when I show him things, when I try to tell him and even explain my reasoning it doesn't seem to hit home unitl he see me doing what I ask of him as well. For example, Ben, my son needed to improve on his reading the teacher wanted him to read 20 minutes a night and I also believe reading is an important hobby. So he didn't want to do it unitl I shut down everything in the house and also picked up my own book and read silently for 20 minutes, no tv, no radio and he asked me mom what are you doing? I said it's reading time we as a house are all reading right now. Try showing him how to apply the things they are asking him in school to his daily life.

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L.W.

answers from San Francisco on

like Evette said.. could just be bored.. when i was a child they tested me for add and dyslexia.. they said i was borderline but i know in my heart i was bored or just not interested.. Besides that i would try making homework seem interesting.. Possibly if you come up with some so called "homework" for yourself and get really excited about it and invite him to come do it with you.. maybe even help, he will become more inclined to want to do it.. If it fits your schedule you can make it mommy son time and maybe have a special snack or game time afterwards..

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M.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I started having troubles in school, it was for two things. One...I was dyslexic and no one knew. Two...I was having trouble with seeing. I was in the back of the class and I couldn't see the board. I didn't understand it at the time but it was pointed out to my parents that I was squinting to see far. I was tested for glasses and needed them. Also, I was easily distracted. I don't have ADD. My attention still to this day gets distracted easily. Like if my husband starts mentioning numbers..costs, bills, anything with numbers, I've learned that I basically shut off my mind and stop listening. I hate math stuff so when that happens I have to really try. He's young so it's going to be hard for him to notice this for himself. I'm not sure how to advise you on that but maybe you could pay more attention to when he shuts off. Ask him what he likes and doesn't like. Get him the old schook speak and spells in that category..ebay. When I was in school, highschool, I was aware that if I sat near a window or a door, my mind would be focused on outside. He needs to sit in the front, just off to one side but not with a window or door in view. Talk with his teachers. Press for the test. Find testing outside the school. It took my school system all the way to 12 grade for them to finally realize I had mild dyslexia to test me. I had basic confusion when reading certain types of wording. I would jump ahead and read the word after and then back to the word before or my eyes would pop down a sentence and I'd lose understanding of what I was reading. I still can't understand certain sentence wordings and math problems with "this train left the station"....forget it. LOL. Also, spelling became more difficult. Their, Thier..those type of things I have to say and resay, type and retype. Now I learn from my daughters Read Between The Lions show...singing" When two vowels go a walkin' the first one does the talking..." LOL. Hey, whatever helps.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

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E.W.

answers from San Francisco on

R.,

I have had a ton of problems motivating and keeping my two sons motivated in school - they re 12 and 11 now. One thing that worked REALLY well for me is finding something they loved (for one it is basketball, the other is the phone and myspace) and literally dangling it over their heads! I would let them have free range if all of their stuff was done but the second something wasn't completed, it was yanked away until it was done and then a little time depending on how serious it was.

One thing that I have learned with my boys is that they get bored and used to punishment so it only takes effect for a limited time. Try keeping any repercussions short but at the core!

E.

P.S. My oldest son went through the same ADD and Dyslexia testing, turned out he was bored so he wouldn't focus. They recommended the teachers try and teach his in the smallest setting possible so he was almost forced to cooperate.

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W.G.

answers from San Diego on

I would try sitting down with him and work out a plan for his school work. That way he can voice his opinion and interests about his school work and may take pride in completing them. It may be harder for him to break school work routines if he helped to make them.

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D.G.

answers from Portland on

I recommend a reward system. for my ten year old he earns points for doing his chores and homework. getting to bed on time doing well in school. It is a daily system and he can cash the points in for time on his play station. if he doesnt have the points he doesnt play the games. He is much more motivated and will ask for extra chores to do on the weekends for extra points.

Any learning disabilities should be evaluated by the school system for free. so start nagging them to get things going and see whats going on there.

Good luck.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R.,

I am dyslexic so I completely understand. I was so bad that I couldn't finish a paper in class and was reading at a third grade level in seventh grade.

Here are the few signs that you can check him on. Have him read to you out loud. I will be hard for him to do. He will stutter and words such as was and mad will come out saw and dam. Did he walk before he crawled? This is a big sign. He can also be ambidextrous. Also tell him to write a word that has the letter B and D in lower case. If he gets it backwards this is also a sign.

If it ends up being a minor problem with just not paying attention there are a couple of things that I have dealt done with my son. It could be that the teacher is boring and he finds no interest. You have tell him that this is no excuse. But if he just has a hard time keeping his head in the game try gurana. It is an herb that I give to parents with ADD/ADHD children. You can get it at my web site www.herbalmom.com and the product is called NRG. It comes in tablet and tea form.

Hope this helps and good luck

L. C
Personal Nutritionist
www.Herbalmom.com

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A.V.

answers from Stockton on

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N.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a son that is 10 yrs old and he has the same problem. I found that when I took things away from him that he likes to do, this helped him to understand that he needed to focus on his class/homework to earn the things that he likes to do the most. We too had our son tested and he was a negative for both ADD & Dyslexia. We also set up a system with the teacher so that we could communicate among one another on how to help him achieve his goals throughout the school year as well as making sure both his school work/homework were being completed. The thing is that sometimes teachers wait til the last minute to inform us parents that our children are in danger of failing.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

R., it is important to have him tested for dyslexia and any other possible learning disorder which may be hindering him. The law requires that the school disctrict not only provide the testing but also the treatment once a disability is diagnosed. The testing is done thru the County Educational School District. They can be found in the phone book.

Your son's school can and in fact should've given you this information. You can call the school's office and ask for more information. If they do not help you call the Educational School District Office directly.

My grandson, at age 3, already has an Individual Education Plan in which he is getting speech therapy as well as other testing and treatment options, because he is speech delayed. We learned of this option thru his pediatrician because she suspected he was developmentally delayed in learning speech. I think that with something like dyslexia the pediatrician wouldn't make that recommendation because he doesn't screen for dyslexia. But the school certainly should have.

Parents of children with disabilities have to advocate for them by arranging for assessment and treatment. It is too easy for them to get lost in the system just as it appears that your son has slipped between the cracks.

There are several good web sites that give information about this law and the IEP as well as about learning disabilities.

I wouldn't wait to see if his situation works itself out. We did that with my grandson and it didn't. He's starting out a year behind where we should've gotten him diagnosed. This has not only affected his ability to speak but also affected his behavior in a negative way. The longer you wait the longer your son experiences difficulty which makes it more difficult for him to catch up. And if he is not dyslexic you know better where to place your focus.

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D.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there. Myt daughter went through this in 3rd grade ( last year) The school was taking so long to do anything about it that I took her to our Prd. he tested her and boy was I shocked when it came back as ADHD!! But more towards the ADD. We started her on meds right away and WOW!!!! She gets straight A's now. She was the same way, always out in space on things, but when it came to something she really liked she was focuses. Talk to your Doctor and have him do a Conners test. Its simple and easy, no pain as well :). Its all questions for you, the teachers, day care centers ect.. I hope this helped.

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K.L.

answers from Spokane on

My nephew who is 7 was just diagnosed about a year ago. My sister (who is the most consistant person in the world) would read constantly with him. She would be so frusterated that she was putting so much effort into this, and he would still get things messed up. He would read his words for the most part good in list form but when he would read them in a book, he would read them backwards. His dad takes him to vision therapy once a week, and he has improved tremendously! He also had a speech delay, and is excelling in his reading. He is way above his expected level in books. Talk to your DR. about it. They will have the resources you need. I wish you luck!! There is hope, don't give up!

TTYL K. :)

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