I Would like to Wean My 22 Month Old from Nursing.

My friend just told her daughter that the Tatas were broken, and they did not work any more. At almost 2 she is more then old enough to understand no. If you give into her fits, she will know how to control you and always get what she wants. She has to learn that you are in charge, and that no means no.

Hi S.,

First let me say that other people's opinions should not be the deciding factor for you on when you wean your daughter. I know that that can be easier said than done. :) But seriously, you should wean her (or let her wean herself, if you choose) when YOU are ready. If your daughter stills needs to nurse than that is want she needs. If she is ready to wean and you are relaxed about it than she will.

All that said, I went through the same thing with my son at this age and what I found was that when I just let go of other people's expectations or my perceptions of those expectations and just stayed relaxed and loving with him, he weaned himself in no time. But I had a lot of work to do with myself to get to point where I could just be there when he asked in a totally loving, relaxed and patient manner. Basically, I had to stop fighting and just accept that that was where we were. The timing is not the same for any mother/child pair, each pair is unique and individual. I know plenty of moms who nursed until 3 years old, because that was what the child needed. And plenty others would did the whole cry it out method and weaned their children when the moms were ready. Neither way is bad/wrong or good. You just need to decide what works for you and your child and your family.

Good Luck,
S.

-- Hi, S.-- I hear 3 different situations:
1. You really sound like you are ready to begin weaning- I'll get bsck to that.

2. Some people in your family/friends circle may be urging you to keep on- but if YOU don't want to- there's no reason to make yourself uncomfortable.

3. Some others may be pushing you to cut off the nursing asap --it's not their business--- it's yours ( and your fiance)'s

So--- to start weaning- pick some ''structure ''' that feels right to you ( my suggestion is -- nurse her when you first get home-- what a nice way to remind her that her time away from you has ended ( for the day) -== and perhaps nurse her again when you pur her down--- then in 4 months or so ( or 2 - or 1 ) --- cut out one of those - . When she protests-- ( and she will) === say lovingly '''' Mommy likes to play more than give milk -- lets go play''' --- and if she yells - play by yourself - -but once you do make a decision -- stick to it.

Blessings--- you can do it-- I promise

J.- aka- Old Mom

What worked well for me was to slowly limit when nursing was allowed. 'No, I'm not going to nurse you now, but, i will as soon as i have a drink of water and put my things away.', 'We will nurse at home, but not when we're not home.' And then ignore the fussing until you have met your criteria. Once your daughter is used to waiting until you and she are both ready to nurse, you can reduce the periods during which nursing is okay or not okay, until they are finally eliminated.

Like most things, ignoring the fussing is hard, but i think worth it in the long run. I think its wonderful that you are still nursing, and i hope you don't feel pressured to stop any earlier than you want to. However, i also don't feel that nursing a toddler is synonymous with letting the toddler demand that you serve their whims, which is what such demanding nursing always feels like to me. It feels to me that by setting limits on how and when nursing is asked for and done you are really teaching your child to respect you - hard, but worth it. The happy side effect is that this should make it easier to cut back on nursing sessions when you want to.

My son had already cut down a lot by the time we stopped completely. And, I'll admit, I did have it pretty easy in that a trip in which we didn't have time to nurse in the morning before we were off to activities made it so that he didn't even notice he wasn't nursing. When we got home, he did ask for it a couple times when he was sad or sick, and he cried, and I just hugged him and told him that we needed to find new ways of being close. I cuddled him (as much as he let me!) and talked to him and read him stories etc. in those times, and he was fine a minute or two later. Good luck to you!

My daughter is 26 months and when she was very little I thought I'd wean her at 12 months. Fat chance! Now she's 26 months and still nurses at night. I know relatives think it's weird, but too bad. You are doing a good thing for your daughter! Obviously, nursing is good emotional support for her. You could work on limiting it, even though she will probably get upset. Distract her with something else she really likes, and give her lots of affection. Every kid is so different so I'm not arrogant enough to think my techniques are fool-proof. I have faith that you can limit her nursing without having to give it up entirely. I also have faith that she will wean when she is older and ready to do so. Good luck!

I think you have already gotten some great advice here, and I'd like to second that. Reducing the feedings to just morning and night really helped me too. My son stopped nursing at 2 1/2. We moved several times while he was a toddler, so I kept putting it off because of the stress it caused him. He had been down to just morning and night feedings though for nearly a year. By the time they are that age they are eating food anyhow. The nursing tantrums really are best resolved by giving them some other type of comfort at this time, like a bottle, or pacifier or snack, and holding them while they enjoy their new vice :) You can worry about that weaning later :) Best wishes.
p.s. I definetely have my fair shair of raised eyebrows when I tell people how long I nursed my son. It is perfectly normal and he is a well adjusted, happy, healthy, sports and video game loving teenage boy now. Some people are just insecure and nursing mothers should not have to comply or even put up with those attitudes.

I weaned my daughter at 19 month for two main reasons, my husband wasn’t really supportive of breastfeeding a toddler and at that point our schedule was really out of whack because we had just returned from a trip, so it just seemed like an ideal time, since she often just “forgot” a feeding.
Prior to weaning we were already down to about two regular sessions (morning and evening ) plus “comfort sessions” here and there when she was tired or upset.
It was easiest to get rid of the morning session, I simply offered her a bottle (at first, later a sippy cup) with warm cow’s milk (I put a little nesquick in because she hated cow’s milk in the beginning). I held her and cuddled with her while she drank her milk and was waking up, just as I would have when I nursed her.
For evening, nighttime and comfort she now uses a pacifier, which is okay with me (I know a lot of people hate them but I really simply don’t mind, she only takes it for bedtime and when she is tired/upset). The switch only worked easily for us, because at that time she was jetlagged and often fell asleep without/before her evening nursing session, just cuddling with me.
She does still need a lot of physical attention and cuddling and finds comfort in simply touching my chest (not the boob, the area above) which can be a little embarrassing.
In retrospect I think I weaned for the wrong reasons and that neither she nor myself were really ready, so I would weigh that decision carefully before you go that route.
Should I ever have another child I plan on waiting until we are truly READY.

you are getting really supportive answers :).

My favorite weaning advice was that nursing should continue as long as the mommy and child want to--and believe it or not, two of my kids weaned before *I* was ready, and I had to remember that that equation worked both ways ;)!!! Nursing around the world apparently is more likely to end around 4 than around 1, so ... who knows?? there is no 'normal' ...

the only child *I* weaned, actively, was #1 ... but you've had most of the advice I used (stretch times a little longer all the time, take advantage of whatever activities you are involved in to distract her) ... make sure she never has a trauma about it (if she gets a big scare or injury and you aren't yet all the way weaned, for instance, I would probably make an exception ... but I would also try to redirect her attention from the breast as soon as she was showing signs of recovery, so it didn't turn into a feeding).

I particularly loved the advice here that starting in the morning, when she is less tired(/fragile), works better ...

Hello I nusred my son till he was 24 months. I applaud you for still doin it. Don't let anyone tell you what to do that it is bad . I pumped at work till he waslike 19 months or so. I would just do the don't ask don't refuse for nursing. YOu don't have toaks her and if she wants too can you defer attentio? If not then nurse. She will eventually quit asking. My son is 3 now, and i wish sometimes we could still nurse.I hope that helps. Also therer is a book called The nursing mothers companion, highly reccomed it. M.

to ween my daughter I had to go on a 3 day trip. it worked well for me and it wad my 1st alone time in a long time.
I still nurse my 2 year old in the mornings. I really wanted to ween her completely, but it hasn't happened and so far I a OK wth once a day.
I don't discuss this with a lot of people and my daughter has finnally learned the nursing is only for at home, for us.

First of all... Great job! It seems that you've received tons of good advice so I'll just put my two cents in and hope it helps. I have a 21 month old who I nursed up until a month ago. I was expecting twins and had gone into early labor so my doctor advised me to stop nursing asap to stop the contractions. I was really upset at the thought of stopping my son "cold turkey" without much of an explanation. It turns out he was totally fine with it and we haven't had any issue. In fact now when he sees me nursing the babies he points and says "nursie baby". My pediatrician told me that at this point it's just for comfort and not really nutritional and they don't *need* to nurse anymore. I will also say it is extremely helpful to have your fiance take over the times when your baby nurses the most and (if she is sensitive) you could even try telling her that your breasts have boo boos or ouchies and they need to be left alone. Just know that whether you choose to slowly wean or just cut her off you'll both get through it! Good luck!