Looking for Stories from Those of You Who Have Breastfed a Toddler

Hi J.,

I nursed my daughter until she self weaned just before she turned 3.5. I nursed throughout my second pregnancy and tandem nursed for several months after my son was born. Weaning will happen!!! I think you should continue nursing for as long as BOTH you and your son enjoy it. If you feel it is time to end, then encourage it, if you really don't mind then let it continue. There are so many benefits to nursing a toddler/preschooler. In regards to an earlier response, I have to say that your milk changes to meet the needs of your child preemie/infant/twins/toddlers/preschoolers. Your milk changes with your child, so in other words whole milk is not better for your child than your breast milk. At the end of our nursing period my daughter was only nursing in the mornings and at night time and occasionally during the day. When I became pregnant I limited her, because I was uncomfortable. When mys on was born I kind of gave her free range ( made sure baby nursed first ). By having her nurse it really helped with my encouragement and I think it also helped her adjust to the new baby because it was something they shared and had in common. Please contact me if I can be of any help, enjoy your time nursing, before you know it your son will be done and you will find yourself missing it. =) Good luck. - C.

In addition I responded to the individual who was surprised about nursing beyond the age of 1. I thought this might be interesting for others to know as well.

In a response to J. F you asked why she would want to nurse her 2 year old. I am including the reason why people might chose to extend breastfeeding past a year. I created this fact sheet for a toddler la leche playgroup. I hope this helps you to understand a mothers choice to breastfeed past the traditional weaning time of 1. PS. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing to at least the age of 1, or until either the mother or child feels it is time to end. Also, the World Health Organization recommends nursing until at least the age of 3.

Benefits to child

1.Provides total nutrition for toddler/preschooler. The fat and energy content of breast milk increases after the first year of age. Breast milk adapts to a toddlers developing system and provides complete nutrition for the finicky toddler.

2.Breastfeeding beyond the first year increase the physical health of a toddler. Breastfeed children develop fewer diseases/infections and recover more quickly from viruses. These immunological benefits are thought to even increase during the 2nd and 3rd years.

3.Breastfeeding beyond a year nurtures the toddler while he/she develops independence. It also supplies emotional support, comfort, and security during a time of disequilibrium.

Benefits to mother

1.Breastfeeding promotes emotional wellbeing to the mother. Prolactin helps relieve stress and promotes relaxation. Oxytocin (the hormone that stimulates letdown) promotes loving and nurturing feelings.

2.Extended breastfeeding reduces your risk of developing ovarian, uterine, and breast cancer. It also reduces your risk for diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. Some research shows that nursing past 2 years of age reduces your risk by up to 25% for pre-menopausal breast cancer.

3.Extended breastfeeding helps to suppress ovulation.

4.Breastfeeding past a year allows for easier parenting. Breastfeeding helps to calm a child during a tantrum, it also encourages nap/bed time, and soothes injuries or other ailments.

I am still nursing my 3 year old daughter (she was 3 in June). She nurses anywhere from 1-2 times a day these days. I am just going with the flow and think that when she stops, it will be on her terms or a negotiated thing -a decision that she will be part of. I don't have any other children, but I do know moms who have nursed while pregnant and tandem nursed, so it can be done! My daughter has never really drinked cow's milk by itself - only occasionally drinks chocolate or strawberry milk. I encourage her to eat other foods with calcium in it. She started becoming a very picky eater after 2. My pediatrician was never concerned with this and she is very healthy!

Good luck with your breastfeeding journey!

~Annie

Hi,
My sweet 3y/o baby boy was on breast until 2 y/o! When he was a year old, I tried to wean him off, but he was a strong one. I decided not to make a big deal out of it; my doctor was pleased and there was (still is) a special bond btw us. I began to feel trapped and frustrated b/c he never took a paci or bottle. Then on his 2nd birthday, I was putting him to bed and he just turned over--never to go for the "ti-ti" again! I say, just let it ride--even though it seems like forever, you know that one day it will stop...and he'll be off to 1st grade and out of pull-ups!
Best to you.

I nursed my daughter till she was 3 and my son till he was 2.
Neither of their weaning was child led. I think with my daughter it was a mutual thing. She would have not done it on her own but she did not put up a fight during the process. Even at 3 I nursed her for short periods throughout the day. The first feeding I stopped was the one right after she woke up. It was easy to give that one up because it wasn't the one that was done out of emotional need. Then throughout the day I waould stop feedings and eventually stopped the one right before bed. What it really came down to at that age was she was ready. We both were doing it out of habit and comfort. All in all it took about a week to wean her.
My son on the other hand was a lot harder to wean. He absolutely was not ready but I was. I tried to wean him 3 times before I acutally succeeded. The first 2 attempts were me just stopping feedings altogether but that did not work at all. Finally I used a method I did not believe would work but I was desperate. I put bandaids on my nipples and told him I had boo-boos on them and he wanted nothing to do with them. He would ask for num-nums and I would just lift up my shirt and show him the "boo-boos" and he would be totally fine with it. Even in the middle of the night when he would want to nurse I would remind him about the bandaids and give him a sippy with water and he would totally comply. It took about 2 weeks before I could finally take those bandaids.
The hardest part for us mothers is the feeling we are taking away something immensely valuable from our children when we try to wean them. Not only the value of the milk itself but more so the value of the bond we created while nursing. I assure you a whole new world of bonding opens up for them and you after they are weaned.
Good luck!

I nursed my daughter until 22 months. At that point, I was about ready to stop, and we weren't nursing much at that point anyway, mostly before bed at night and when she woke in the morning. She ended up getting a cold and having a really clogged nose, and I used that opportunity to help it along. I was VERY sad to end nursing, the freedom was nice, too. I never expected to nurse for so long, but we both loved it and it was good for both of us!

Same boat. I told myself I wanted to make it to six months, and here we are, almost 18 months and my son stil LOVES to nurse. Sometimes I wish it was over, but I remind myself that it won't be forever, and I do still enjoy it as well for the most part. Also, my husband has horrible allergies and asthma, and a report recently came out that found children who nursed into their toddler years experienced greater health benefits than if they were weaned at one year of age. That made me feel less conflicted! Maybe he will just give it up on his own one day, but I kind of doubt it, so my other thinking is that once my son is more verbal, we can actually negotiate the process which might seem less sad and confusing then if I can't explain it to him. A friend had a very adamant nurser, and basically told her son, ok, x number of days until no more momma's milk, and would repeat the number of days left each day. Then, on the last day, that was it. Her son was a little upset, but understood and it totally worked. Just one idea. Good luck, and happy nursing in the meantime! Pretty soon, they will be asking for the car keys and we will be worried sick, as opposed to being curled up on our lap, sharing our beautiful, short live bond. Sigh.

I think it's wonderful that you are still breastfeeding - I had similar discussions with my sister - she nursed her son and gradually stopped after his 2nd birthday! I weaned my daughter after she turned 1, but I have a feeling it's a little different with boys. My sister said that it was easier to negotiate with a 2-year old, she was home with him for two weeks during weaning so she was giving him extra attention,holding him,lots of mommy time , so it was easier for him..good luck!

My 26 month old daughter self weaned herself about 3 months ago. She started to cut back to nursing once every few days. Then she went to once a week. And then just completely stopped altogether. It has been 8 weeks now since she nursed last. She did ask for it last week but I asked her if she really wanted it or if she would rather some grapes. She chose the grapes. She was my longest nurser. My other 3 weaned themselves at 16 months. I was happy to go longer but they were just done and I was not going to force them to do it longer. A friend of mine is still nursing her 4 year old but said she only does it once a day at bed time. She doesn't mind doing it. It's what ever you are comfortable with.

Hi J.,

I have been in your shoes...loving my nursing relationship but wondering if and how it will ever come to an end. My personal experience with child-led weaning was a positive one. My son self-weaned last December at 2 years and 3 months. When he was about 22 or 23 months, I started to enjoy nursing less on a physical level. My body began to feel uncomfortable with it. This sensation grew until it was a wierd, skin crawling kind of sensation when he nursed. Luckily, by this time, Liam was ready to stop nursing. When he was about 2, maybe a little younger, I started having him ask to nurse. This set the stage for him understanding that our bodies were separate and that sometimes it wasn't a good time for mommy. I very gradually cut out the nursing sessions that seemed the least important to him. The first to go was when I picked him up from daycare. It went unnoticed. The toughest was to stop nursing at bedtime. I had nursed him to sleep since he was born. I began by making the nursing session a little earlier, so he didn't fall asleep nursing. We created a new bedtime ritual. Soon, he didn't want to nurse since storytime was much more fun. Then, little by little, he just stopped asking less and less. A day passed here and there when he didn't nurse at all. I don't remember the last time he nursed- I guess I wasn't aware it would be the last. And for that I am grateful because I think I would have been sad to see it go.

All the best to you.
C.

I had to laugh that the first response was someone who had no advise, just "surprised" - ugh!! :)
My first self weaned at 13 months (I was 3 months pregnant), and my second is now 26 months and still nursing. I never thought I would nurse this long and felt the same was you do at 18 months! When she hit 2 I really began tring to limit her nursing, offering other things to eat instead and changing our routines - things like we always nurse in the rocking chair, so we stayed away from it when possible at nursing times. In just the past few weeks she is really cutting herself back. She no longer asks right away every morning to nurse (maybe 2 days a week), and will go to bed for someone else without her night nursing as well. Right now my husband is not home for bedtimes, but in a few weeks he will be again and then he will take over bedtime for awhile and that should end htat one, as I am ready.
So my advise is if you are comfortable with him still nursing let him do it, but look for opportunities to replace nursing times with other activities. I think child lead weaning can be combined with "mom lead changes" for a slow weaning - so no one is tramatized :)
Best of luck,
K.

Both my girls self weaned. One at 14 months the other at 18 months. You can help by cutting out the "checking ins" and the most NON essential nurse sessions first. Then slowly cut out nap and then the last to go for us was the bed time nursing. Replace you with a cup of water or milk but keep the "routine" except for nursing the same. A.

I have 3 kids and have breastfed all of them well into toddlerhood. With each child, the nursing sessions gradually became fewer and fewer and eventually (around age 2-ish?) were down to bedtimes-only. When my oldest was 2.5 I was pregnant and nursing was painful... he was very verbal at that age and I was able to have a conversation with him about stopping - I asked whether there was still any milk, and he said yes, even though I doubted it. I then suggested we have a story at night instead of milkie. He agreed, tentatively. He still asked me for about a week, but I believe that the pregnancy and his understanding helped us along. With my second, she gradually went from nighttimes, to every other night, to a few times a week, etc., all on her own. She was just about 3 when we finally stopped and it was very gradual, totally her own doing. My third just turned 2. I have gotten him down to bedtimes-only as well. Sometimes he will ask in the morning and I will distract him or tell him that we only have "night night" at bedtime.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. Most kids, if allowed to wean gradually, will stop by around their 3rd birthday. Again, as they get older, the nice thing is you can talk to them about it. Just like some parents make agreements to give up a binky or a blankie, you can "negotiate" or talk about giving up nursing.

A great resource is the book "Mothering your Nursing Toddler." It also has weaning advice, including the "Don't offer, don't refuse" method (which is pretty much just like it sounds). Good luck and enjoy your little one!

I was very recently wondering what how long I would continue nursing my 18 month old. Well, she is 21 1/2 months old today and I think weaning has happened - it was kind of subtle for us. I am not sure if it will help you as it seems that life circumstances and her growing indepence overlapped in a way that just made it happen. I feel fortunate that it never became an issue for us or something that I felt I needed to end - it all seemed kindo of mutual for us. She was nursing about the same - morning, night, nap and maybe another situational time during the day. Slowly she began not needing it at nap (we were working on my husband putting her to bed more). She then would sometimes not at breakfast. I must admit I had stopped encouraging it at as much and I may have even started asking her if she wanted to eat before offering to nurse but if she wanted to after breakfast I still would. I should note that I did get pregnant while she was 16 months and had a hard first trimester - tired and sick. I was tempted to stop nursing but knew that I would probably feel the same whether nursing her or not and that it was fine for both babies (go mothering.com!). I also thought I would like to tandem nurse if she still wanted to by the time the new baby came. Anyway, second trimester reduced my milk and came near some big life changes for us - we started the process of moving from Detroit to Queens. I think this was the biggest factor. As I had tiring long days and shorter nights I think I produced even less and she became more interested in food. She nursed for shorter periods of time and then down to about 1x a day. She did have her first overnight with grandparents during this time and it ended up being a 2 night stay - she did great those days and wanted to nurse w/in an hour of returning home so I thought we would just continue 1-2x's a day. However, this last week was our first week in NY and things have finally slowed down a little for us and I probably had more to give but she started nursing for a few seconds and then ask for her pacifier. That's when I realized the end was near. Perhaps I could have encouraged her and tried nursing more but it seemed that things were ending easily for her and for me. It is a little sad to have this part over but I suppose it will give me a little break before the new little one in Dec. I loved all the nursing toddler mom responses! I would have kept going for a long time if she had needed/wanted it. Good luck and I hope that like us it will all make sense when the time comes!! :)

Hi J.,
Congrats on nursing your son into toddler hood! I nursed my daughter until she was 25 months, at which point we decided to wean because I was pregnant and the hormones from the breast milk were giving her rashes. This doesn't happen often, many women nurse while pregnant and even tandem nurse (which I planned to do) but my daughter is extra sensitive and is prone to rashes. When they got painful and bothersome for her we decided it was time. I wasn't sure she was ready to wean and don't feel she would have stopped on her own, but I told her "Mommy's breast milks are broken right now, is it okay if we don't have milk tonight?" and she agreed. We still sat in our chair and read books and cuddled while she drank some cows milk. It was no big deal to her, I couldn't believe it! Its now been about 3 weeks since we weaned and I do miss it, but she is okay with the change. She never asks for mommy milk, I think she was more ready than I realized.
So keep nursing as long as you both are enjoying it. It won't last forever at some point he will be ready and you will know.

i have not breastfeed a toddler but i would imagine your best bet is to ask your son's pediatrician. i would assume he would want your son to be drinking whole milk as the breast milk by now and even much earlier is not enough for what he needs (iron, vit. D, calcium etc). is there a reason why you continue breastfeeding your almost 2 year old son?
sorry no advice, just very surprised.
good luck

hi J., i nursed my oldest until he was 18 mos, he stopped on his own, one day i just realized that i was the one always initiating it. i nursed my second until she was 15 mos, and only stopped because i was pregnant again and the doc wanted me to stop. she was like yours, still nursing often, no signs of stopping. she was the hardest, i felt awful and had to have hubby put her to bed, then we bopped her to bed every night in one of those boppy seats for about a year, until it no longer bopped! she had no idea how to go to bed on her own, and we had no idea what to do. what a pain. i nursed my third until 22 mos, he also stopped on his own. one day i just realized that i was begging him to nurse every time, he was way too busy, so i sadly let it go. i miss it hhhooooooooribly. my advice is to let it run its course if you can, let him stop on his own as long as you are both happy with it. and if you arent, if you really want to stop, i recommend doing it gradually. use distraction and have someone else put him to bed when you are down to those last bedtime feedings. but be sure you are sure :)
i wanted to add that although my doc wanted me to stop nursing while i was preg, lots of people do nurse while pregnant. take care, D.

i nursed my daughter until 25mns, she was weaned because i was 5 mns preg, and it was painful for me. oherwise i feel she would continue for longer, however at 2yo , i feel you can explain to your kid whatever the situation might be, if you want to stop nursing. they understand at that age so much more ... it will not last forever, enjoy while it lasts..! and getting preg and nursing whle preg is possible, it was very uncomfortable for me , bu there are women who do it and tandem nurse as well.

Haha! I feel like I wrote your post! We are in the same boat except my son is almost 17 months old. I NEVER thought I would nurse this long but my son never liked bottles, pacifiers or other things like that. He does have a lovie though. Everytime I put a deadline for myself, I always got past it. It is not wierd or unhealthy to nurse a toddler. I would just go with it until he can understand that it is no longer appropriate. I can't wait to hear what other mom's who nursed past 18 months have to say...good luck!

J.,

Congratulations on nursing your toddler - this is so very much a good thing for him!

Overlap is not a bad thing - it's called tandem nursing!

There are Moms out there who have children who are closer and more gentle with each other because they share the bond of nursing.

He'll stop, no worries, but wanted to let you know there is no need to worry about carrying over from first baby to second.

http://breastfeedingonline.com/newman.shtml

Kelly Mom is another source, too, as well as La Leche League.

Good luck, any questions let me know, there are a couple of other Moms out there I know who are or were tandem nursing.

M.

I breastfed both mine til about 18 months, at which point I became pregnant both times and ended our nursing relationships because my breasts became sore and I had such a lack of energy I didn't feel it was healthy for me. My best advice is that as long as neither of you resents it, continue as long as you want... I have plenty of mama friends who nurse their kiddos (and even tandem nurse) until 2.5 years or so, its an excellent source of comfort and assurance (meeting emotional needs more so than nutritional ones, although I swear even at 18 months it warded off colds my older son would get and my little nursling wouldn't!). If you feel discouraged or weird, realize it is just THIS culture.. we represent a break from the nursing norm! I'd encourage you to check out the breasfeeding and child-led weaning boards on mothering.com (great inspiration and answers to questions you may have on a site devoted to natural mothering!). It's free of course.

This is my personal experience and obviously this doesn't apply to every situation, but I continued to breastfeed my son when he woke up in the morning and before bed at night after he turned one and waited for him to self-wean, but it didn't seem like it would ever happen.

I also wanted to have another child and had heard that sometimes when you get pregnant, the taste of your milk changes and the older child no longer likes it and will wean. Quite honestly, I wanted that to happen, but we weren't getting pregnant even though I had my period and was ovulating. After a year and a half, I finally decided to wean as I needed to begin fertility treatments. I kept telling my son that when he turned 2.5, we'd have a party and then no more nursing. That is what we did (I've written about it here before). He handled it very well. I had to remind him for a couple of nights, but he was totally fine. I think if I let him self-wean, he would have continued until he was 4 years old (i've heard that is often the case) and I didn't want to wait that long!