I Really Need to Hear and Outsiders Point of View...

If he doesn't think he's that little girls daddy, then he needs to get a paternity test. Honestly, he sounds irresponsible to say the very least. What gives him the right to treat that little girl like she's second class. If that's the way he treats children, why would you want to be with him? It's horrible. It's not that little girls fault. He needs to man up. He's seriously going to damage that poor little girl for the rest of her life. I'd pack my bags and walk away now.

So, who is taking care of his daughter? Is it his mother? If that is the case, she has every right to be angry with her son! Heck, I'm angry with this guy. Can't he keep his thing in his pants? Or can't he use a condom?

Your boyfriend needs to man up and take responsibility for BOTH his children - not just one. If he feels the daughter is not his, he needs to take a paternity test to find out. It is not the child's fault. It's his and the other baby mama's fault.

If the daughter is his, you should be treating her like she's part of the family and not punishing her for being another woman's child.

You and your baby are caught in the middle here and because you're not married to this guy (thank God), I would be taking a few hundred steps back from him and evaluate if a guy that shirks his responsibilities is someone you want to be with or have as a role model for your son.

Good luck.

I think your boyfriend needs to man up and be a father to this little girl. Everyone else seems to think he's her little girl, most importantly the little girl thinks he is her daddy. It sounds like he's rejecting the little girl because of something her mother did. Children are completely innocent until we teach them to not be. She's being taught that her daddy doesn't love her and that she's not worth loving. That's no way for a young girl to grow into a young woman thinking the same thing. Your boyfriends mom is coming to you with the issue because she thinks he will listen to you.

Did you know this stuff before you had a child with him? Because if you did, and it bothered you, then you are to blame for letting yourself get into this mess. This is going to be your life for the rest of your life -- you aren't going to change him and you can't change your MIL no matter how many times you go off on her. So I would suggest you do everything you can to make it better (that includes treating this little girl as if she is your own too, and taking your son there for holidays because those are important family times, sucking it up when you don't want to, being kind when people aren't kind to you, etc.) or leave.

Tell his mother that you don't want to hear it anymore. If she wants to discuss his daughter, then discuss it with him not you.

Who is raising this little girl? His mother? Where is the little girls mother in all this? More information might help to give you some better advice.

where is this little girls mother?? I would tell him mom that its really not your problem. If she has an issue with him not seeing his daughter she should be talking to HIM about it, not you. You also need to tell her that you will not tolerate being talked to in that maner (meaning when she 'goes off' on you) you have bigger fish to fry than to worry about what your boyfriend is doing with someone else's kid
Poor little girl. :(:( It sad that she is being used as a tool to leverage vs just being loved

My advice---- make your boyfriend deal with it. It's HIS mother, HIS daughter, and HIS problem. Not yours. When his Mom calls going off about him not doing this, that, and the other---tell her to talk to him. If she continues to call and yell at you...simply tell her you will not "talk" with her if she cannot discuss things with you rationally. As for her not paying attention to her grandson---that's her fault and make sure she understands that the road goes both ways---she can come visit HIM. Good luck.

When my hubby or I have an issue with the "in-laws" it is up to the person who is blood related to the problem person to deal with the issue. So, essentially I'm saying that I think your boyfriend needs to take this up with his mom.

well, personally everyone is at fault here, your husband/boyfriend is at fault for not seeing his daughter, rather she is his biologicly or not she knows him as dad and if he has doubts he needs to find out for everyone involvded, you for keeping your son from his family, yeah the grandma may not be the best out there but she is still his grandmother and should be involved, and grandma for stepping in on your boyfriends life with his kids, if he does not know if it is his daughter then get a dna test done they are expensive but is the best way to stop the drama, and she is at fault for going off on you about it when you try to get him involved with his daughters life.

Everyone "going off" on each other is never going to solve anything. If bf's mom and calls and wants to discuss anything about bf's daughter, simply tell her "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that, you'll need to discuss that with your son. I'll tell him you called".

There could be many reasons why bf's mom doesn't take an interest in her grandson. My guess is that the biggest reason is because bf's mom is too busy and overwhelmed being a mommy to bf's daughter. My other guess is the bf's mom is frustrated because bf will not have the paternity test and does not accept his daughter as his own. You'll never know unless you and bf take the time to sit down and have a conversation with her.

The first thing you need to do is sit down with bf, and decide how the two of you want to handle the situation. Does bf agree that bf's mom should not be allowed to see your son? Does he want to cut off ties with his monther and his daughter, or does he want to work at bringing all of you closer together?

Ok so coming from someone who has somewhat been in this situation. Except mine is the baby mamma and she keeps the kids from him because she does not like me or our child.

The mother needs to understand that you can not make him be a part of this lil girls life and if he believes he is not the father then he needs to get the test done and finish this once and for all. The mother needs to stop harassing you and you need to let her know if if she continues you will have no contact with her at all. Then she can go thru her son.

Where is this girls mother and why does the grandmom have custody?

Ok on to you. You can help bridge the gap but treating the lil girl like she is one of yours. Take her for the weekend end, summer or whatever. This will force him to interact with her and build a relationship.

If that doesn't work, maybe you need to step back and look at this man because it can easily be u on the receiving end of this if you two do not work out.