I Need HELP with My 7 yr.old Son and Eating

This happened to my sister when she was a kid. Turns out that she has esophogeal reflux (I think) and that it causes the sensation of choking sometimes while eating. It's nothing that you would be able to see - they have to do a scope to check it out.

And, not to be mean, I think that punishing a kid for not eating is a little extreme. It's one thing to send him away from the table if he's screaming and yelling (that's the rule in our house) but to take away all of his stuff when he genuinely seems scared of choking feels a little oppressive.

If you don't have insurance, see if there's a clinic that you can take him to. Document when he's having this choking sensation to see if there's some sort of pattern (with my sister it was acidic food like tomatoes). Finally, if he doesn't want to eat, don't make him - offer him nutritious liquids. If he's really fine, he'll give in when he's hungry. If he really has a problem, you'll know it because he'll start losing weight - at which point you need to get him into the doctor ASAP.

good luck.

Well, something IS wrong. I would start with a solid liquid nutritional supplement like Now For Kids from Reliv, which will meet his immediate basic nutritional needs.

Then I would see if he will eat soups - by themselves they don't have enough nutrients but they will keep him at the table while everyone else eats. That's important.

Then I would take to the pediatrician by phone (to start) about either a physical cause or a psychological component. There may be some sort of swallowing problem going on - I'm not skilled enough to evaluate tonsils or adenoids, and neither are most parents. There are also issues sometimes with tongue thrusting that make it hard to get the food to the back of the throat.

Also, there is a very dangerous game played by kids who have contests to see how many marshmallows they can stuff in their throats. This is lethal - the marshmallows soften with the body's heat, and they do clog the throat. Kids are dying from this. So it is possible that your son heard something about this, either from kids or from adults trying to warn kids about it. So the idea of something innocuous clogging the throat could have put him in a state of panic about all foods. So it's not "nothing" and it needs to be addressed with some sensitivity.

Right now you don't know what is causing this problem so I would not bother removing all his toys as a punishment until you know what's really going on. I think that's a good strategy for something that is a willful defiance on his part, but not eating at all is something else. If he were just lobbying for candy instead of healthy food, that would make sense. But it sounds like he's not eating anything and there is a real fear. I think you need to get to the bottom of it. Maybe the doctor would talk to him on the phone and ask a few questions? Maybe your son would be honest with the doctor??? Just an idea to save some money, and most doctors will do phone consults to keep their office schedules lighter.

Has he had sore throat, swollen tonsils, or allergies a lot before?

I've had problems like that and ended up getting my tonsils removed. For a sore throat I like very cold foods to numb it, like ice cream or frozen fruit, or hot liquids like peppermint tea with honey or warm soup with a salty broth. With allergies I'd get an itchy throat, and the things that would soothe it were carbonated drinks or really spicy foods because of the "scratchy" feeling. I'd also have trouble breathing and eating at the same time with a stuffy nose. My throat was worse after eating popcorn because the shells would get stuck- I once thought I swallowed a fish bone and ended up at the er.

My son is 8 and is a picky eater especially about textures. He does not like anything sticky or thick such as mashed potatoes, melted cheese, white bread or buns, PBJ, smoothies, mayonnaise, oysters or hamburger. However, he's always been this way- It wasn't a sudden thing like your son seems to have. We've learned by trial and error what he likes, though ADHD meds have now decreased his appetite even more.

I agree with Jane M. that you should write down more information before going to a doctor. Perhaps data such as time of day, type of food, total calories for the day, mood, length of tantrum, type of reward or consequence that didn't work. Since the cause isn't obvious to you(and you know your son the best), and you don't know whether it's physical or mental- chances are most doctors aren't going to find anything either.

having been thru many, many events in our sons' lives - & witnessing what my nieces/nephews can pull.....my response is going to be on the other end of the spectrum! The fact that you felt the need to punish him, the fact that you went to the extent of pulling all of his stuff from his room.....tells me this is more of a power play/power struggle that you ALL are stuck in.

Before that dr appt, I sincerely hope that you sit down with your son & ask him if he needs to see the dr for his throat.....& if the answer is "yes", then I also sincerely hope that you will clearly state what the punishment will be for a wasted trip to the dr. Help him understand that if he truly needs medical treatment, then you are more than willing to seek help for him....but at the same time, you want him to understand that if this is a case of not wanting to comply with his parents wishes.....then he's at fault.

All of this attitude coming from me is from a standpoint of "been there, done that". It is absolutely amazing how children feel the need to "fight" for control with their parents. Something as simple as dinner can escalate (over the years) into such a nightmare of life. My sis & I were talking about this subject just the other day! She was relating her side of the almost-nightly fights over dinner .....from our childhood. Her children (ages 14-22) were horrified at her childhood behavior....& thoroughly enjoyed my comments on how horrible it was to witness.....over & over again....until my parents finally cracked down on her. A lesson I implemented early in my sons' lives.....& sometimes it worked & sometimes it didn't.

I know you've already responded to the forum....but I seriously felt it was important to relate my experiences. A little bit of discipline can go a long way!

If my child told me that he feels like food gets stuck in his throat when he eats I would be calling my ped and taking him in just bc you didn't see anything does not mean that there is nothing go on you don't have the tools to look down his throat. He could have a mass, he could have a small bone stuck there that is just small enough to cause an issue but eventually allow things to pass you really have no idea.

I think its wrong to punish a child for not wanting to eat. I understand sending him to his room or away from the table if he was having a melt down about it but if I knew my child felt this way I probably would have made him some type of alternative until I got to the bottom of what the problem with his throat is.