I Need Help - Houston, TX

Hi L., a few questions. Who exactly is your friend, and how could you take the child from her? Is there a legal situation going on here?

Second, does she already have children? Boys or girls?

Third, is there a father involved?

Many times pregnant women have intense desires for a child of a particular gender. It's not bad when mom is upset if she has the other! Most commonly, she meets the child and comes to love him or her quickly.

It is almost impossible to raise a child as the opposite sex. When the child is in the toy store, dolls may look really good to a girl--it's genetic!! Also, she may insist on a pink frilly dress on the first day of school!

This woman need prenatal care with a provider who can catch her up, and provide the time and emotional support she needs. Sounds like a midwife to me!

Call if I can help--###-###-####.
Kathy Vande Giessen, Certified Nurse Midwife, North Houston Birth Center

The most important thing we have fought for is our right to choose in this country as women. Not meaning that she should not have the child, especially after 24 weeks, but especially as a mother of 4, you should know better than anyone, her choices are hers, just as yours were yours, or should have been. What if someone had thought you were unequipped to handle your situation and wanted to step in and raise one of your children. I think it is abhorrent that you would assume because of her choices so far, which are different I admit, but how does that gives you some right to step in and offer to raise her child? Do you have a mother of the year award you aren't mentioning? And yes, I speak from experience, I am a mother of 5, 3 are my step children and 2 are mine, but they are all mine as much as they can be since I still have to share them with their other parents. (2 of the step children reside full time with us and my 2 are with us as well).
I know the urge to think you can do it better, but you have to give the mom who wants to try a chance. You may not approve, or agree, but it is her child, and her joy or burden, it's her choice in the way she carries her load.

my god! it is really good that you care enough to post, your friend needs a reality check. make it clear to her that her ideas for parenting are irresponsible (not going to the doctor and these gender issues) i really hope that when she does have this little girl she will fall in love as we all do and act accordingly, it sounds like she is having gender issues of her own, maybe let her talk further about that, and although this may sound a little trite, an intervention may do some good, keep being a good friend that is all you can really do, i don't know how much you could do about gaining custody(from a legal standpoint) good luck

WELL ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO RAISE HIS OR HER CHILD HOW THEY SEE FIT.AS LONG AS THE CHILDS EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL OR PYSCHOLOGICAL WELL BEING IS NOT AT RISK. EVEN THEN, IN TEXAS IT IS HARD TO GET KIDS REMOVED FROM MOMS. I SEE YOU SAY YOU'VE HAD 4 KIDS BUT ONLY ARE RAISING 3 OF THEM. IS THERE A PARTICULAR REASON WHY? WILL THIS BE AN ISSUE YOU WOULD BE CONFRONTED ON BY YOUR FRIEND? ALSO IF THIS IS SO GRAVE WHERE IS YOUR FRIENDS FAMILY, OR THE FATHER OF THE BABY. HE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW, IF HE CARES TO KNOW.
I AM AWARE THAT IN SOME CASES, WHEN A MOTHER REFUSES PRENATAL CARE IT IS CALLED FETAL ABUSE, AND IN MOST CASES A COURT WILL FIRST INTERVENE TO OFFER PARENTING CLASSES FOR THE PARENT OR PARENTS TO STILL BE ABLE TO KEEP THIER BABY. IF BAD COMES TO WORST THE COURT WOULD PLACE THIS CHILD WHILE THE MOM GETS HER ACT TOGETHER, MOST OF THE TIME WITH BLOOD RELATIVES OR STATE CERTIFIED FOSTER PARENTS. IF THE MOTHER STILL DOESN'T GET IT TOGETHER OR SIMPLY CHOOSES WALK AWAY, THE COURT WILL PLACE THIS BABY MOST LIKEY WITH BLOOD RELATIVES OR STATE CERTIFIED LONG TERM PARENTS. YOU SHOULD DISCUSS ALL THIS AND MORE TO SEE WHERE SHE STANDS IN ALL THIS. HOPE THIS HELPS. GOOD LUCK

Well it is a very difficult situation. I would like to be able to give you advice but i think all i can do is sympathize with your concerns. It is hard to see a mother to be acting like she is. A baby needs prenatal care to recieve the best start in life. I also think she is wrong for wanting to raise her girl (if she has one) as a boy. Because boys and girls are so different. Unfortunatly for that child there is nothing legally preventing her from choosing to do that. I pray that baby will not become confused in their upbringing.

I heard a story where one family wanted their little boy treated like a girl in his kindergarden class because HE thought he was a girl. It is so sad. Those are the important years when children are learnnig their identity and knowing your GENDER IS A HUGE PART of your foundation.

I think your best and the most effective thing you can do right now is pray!!! GOD bless you for your concerns!!!

Maybe you should report her to family services about the raising the girl as a boy issue. Legally, I don't think you can take the child from her. Family Services or CPS should be able to help in some way.

You should keep encouraging her to see a doctor. You can't take a baby from its mother, but if she neglects the baby, or isn't taking proper care of it for whatever reason, you can call CPS. They will determine if the child is in any danger. She sounds pretty immature to claim she would raise a girl as a boy. This must be her first, and she must be young! My daughter plays all sports, but is very feminine. Keep suggesting she get help. Good luck! After the baby arrives, people usually have a change of heart.