Husband Diid a Side Job for Family, Now Issues.

oh this is sad. my family and inlaws have done the same thing! we wont EVER do business with family again!
i would just take the money and never do another favor to them again. next time they can pay a business to come out and do the work for double the money! this happens way more than you think! good luck!

I am with Sherry, Sarah and Robert. Give them all the money back and cut ties. Its hard to cut family ties but I have and I am not going backwards.

The time for your brother to speak up was when he got the quote from your husband, before your husband did any work. Your brother is so wrong here and I don't think your husband should give back any of the money he earned.

If your brother wanted to hire someone at an hourly rate he should have hired a neighborhood teenager instead of a professional.

I'm guessing your brother forgot to mention to your parents that he paid less than 1/3 of what he would have paid. Just remind them of that if it's mentioned again. And, NO, I would NOT give back any money. And definitely don't do any more jobs for him again. Hopefully it'll blow over.

Took advantage? Nonsense.

How about this: Tell brother to get 3 quotes for the same work from local companies. Heck, tell him to get 5. And then tell him that you'll average the quotes and THAT amount -$500 for the digging help will be the charge for your husband's work.

I'll bet it ends up being more than your husband originally charged.

I think you and your husband should stand your ground. Your brother is being a jerk. Don't do any work for him in the future without a signed contract.

ETA: Oh....it's your PARENTS who have the problem? Who cares? They aren't paying for it. Your hubs and brother have already settled up.

How about this: "Mom and dad, Husband and Bro are dealing with this. Both Husband and Bro are adults and will handle this themselves." Then refuse to engage! Do not talk about this with them, at all. Change the topic with a smile every time.

To Bro: "Bro, you and Husband are adults. Maybe you did not realize that mom and dad called Husband and reamed him after you complained to them. I'm sure that's not what you meant to happen, was it? . After this conversation I'm not addressing it again. If you can get three estimates for the exact same work -- exact -- and it's less, then we'll pay the difference. Period."

Don't give money back. Drop it and refuse to discuss. I would bet that Bro is not ever going to go to the effort of getting estimates just to show you and husband up.

Your parents should never have been involved. Is this a pattern with them? Do they butt in on personal or financial stuff? Does Bro have a history of whining to mommy and daddy when things don't go as he wants? Ask yourself those things. It's possible that this was all inevitable, if your parents tend to butt in, in general, and/or if your brother whines to them like a kid, in general. I know you and your husband are too smart to go through this again. I'm sorry it's been a pain. This is why families can't do business for each other.

A price was agreed to, it was paid. End of discussion.

Your brother is taking advantage of your husband, not the other way around. They agreed on a price, and your brother should pay. Your parents don't need to even be involved. That is very poor on your brother's part. I'm sure your husband saved him tons of money by doing a favor, which should be the last since this is how he's being treated. I feel for your husband. I wouldn't take any more off, and never do anything for him again.

That is NOT an hourly job, unless it's $90/hr.

What is that saying - no good deed goes unpunished?

Why are your parents getting involved? Sheesh.

I would politely tell them that the matter is closed for discussion.

They are the ones taking advantage of you and your husband. Tell them flat out no, and give them a copy of the estimated price the actual company would have charged (give it to the parents as well). And then let them know that if they feel taken advantage of that next time they can hire it out and pay the full price. Then refuse to discuss it with them any further.

and it was not FEMMAs job to help your brother after a flooded home, he should have had flood insurance

To be honest, I would return all the money not directly involved as a cost (i.e. renting equipment, gas, materials, etc) and tell them you now understand what family means to them and that you would NOT ever be doing this kind of business with them again (including parents). And stick with it - never again.

If they could not afford the work or had issues with the cost, it should have been addressed BEFORE the work was ever started. Whining about it to the parents was immature and rude. The parents involvement was uncalled for. Adults settle their business as adults, not by calling in their parent to do their dirty work for them.

Removing doing business with the family should also remove the stress, misunderstandings, and back biting. Then you can concentrate on just being family.

Your brother was given a quote by your husband and your brother accepted the terms of the agreement. One cannot go back and change the terms *after* the fact unless there was gross negligence involved. Your husband was nice enough to discount his work further, but it was not necessary. I would NOT be handing back $350 to your brother, that is ridiculous. No more work for family members, I guess. And your parents should have stayed out of it, my goodness!! How embarrassing for your brother that his parents felt it necessary to get involved! A grown man!

#1...leave your parents out of it!
#2...if the job and payment were mutually agreed upon, your brother is being the jerk!

I wonder if he would try to negotiate a price with the plumbing company?
I think not.
Your husband quoted a price and gave him a deal.
No more price reductions!
Your brother needs to drop it and your parents need to stay out if it.

Have your husband offer to UNdo what he did and allow your brother to have it fine by someone else. That should shut him up.
(I have a plumber in the family.)
From now on, when Bro needs something done, your husband is busy!

Okay why am I the only one who can't figure out if your brother is right or wrong? You quote XXXX as a total price, you don't mention where he is located and you seem to have over 850 dollars in play. You also seem obsessed with putting in a water heater.

Personally I would be more willing to pay for installing a water heater than digging up two sump pits. Even my kids can dig holes, run copper so it doesn't leak, I don't think so.

I have had a few friends have family do work for them and in conversation they find out a professional would have done it cheaper. That hurts.

Saying it is labor intensive doesn't matter especially if there is a more efficient way to do it but you don't have the equipment. Sort of like saying I should be paid more to put in a fence because I don't own a post hole digger, ya know?

Anyway, if I were you I would have your husband talk to professionals, other than his boss, and see if he really is cheaper. Then if he really is charging a fair wage then stand his ground.

I never take money from family, just not worth it.

If your brother and your parents won't leave it be, I agree with the poster who says to ask them to get some free quotes/estimates on what other companies would have charged...if you know that your husband gave them a great deal then offer to take the $500(that he already offered and took off b/c he got help from the kids) off the lowest bid, bet that will shut them up!

This is a clear cut example of how "No good deed goes unpunished"...it's so sad, but it's true, you really shouldn't mix business and family, it never turns out goodM

First big mistake: get it in writing, everything listed and signed by both.

Lesson learned.... Don't mix famlily and friends with business.... EVER

Your hubby is the one taken advantage of here and that is sad. He was doing something out of the goodness in him and he (and his family) ends up getting screwed.

I would probably forfeit the $ finish the job and show them an invoice of what they would have paid him as the professional he is.

Should he forfeit the $$, not really because he deserves to get paid for what he did but if he does forfeit, he shows them what types of a$$es they are being.

Bottom line... they are cheap... they wany someone to do quality work for nothing. They are no better than the shiester down the street trying to screw someone by selling some get rich quick scheme.

At least you now know how they are and you're forewarned for the future.

ETA: Your brother and your hubby are ok with what went on and your parents are fueling a fire now? GEES.... tell your parents to mind their own business.

Hi M.,

I'd ask myself... if the lesson I learned here which seems to be GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING and............ perhaps don't work for family was worth the money. if the answer is yes, then I'd give them their $350 bucks back.. if it means I have peace of mind and them out of my hair.. then to me, it's well worth it.

However, that would be the last time I did any major work for your brother, let alone anyone else without having it in writing.. Additionally, upon returning the money, I'd make it clear that in no way should the brother have complained to your parents about this. He should instead have taken it up with just your husband.. Bringing in others wasn't a good idea.
but again, for peace of mind... give him back the $350.. which to me, although is and isn't a lot of money. my sanity is worth much more than that..

Also based on your addl notes. sounds like no matter what your husband does, it will never be considered enough. For some people who may feel a bit entitled, then you could have done it for $50 bucks and that would have been too much....

Wow. He told them an amount, they had him go ahead and now they want to reneg? I'm glad you're standing up for your husband. I would show them if possible what your husband's company would have charged, tell them they agreed to his quote, they were free to hire someone else, your husband was doing them a favor to begin with, and never ever ask him again to lift a finger for them - free or paid. I would light into my parents if I were you. How dare they! Ask them if it's so easy why your brother just didn't do it himself? Of if they didn't like the quote, why didn't they hire someone else? $350 for 16 hours = less than $22/hour. I know you're not in Manhattan but people get paid that to babysit where I am.

Lesson learned. Never do business with family, its a pretty much guarantee that there will be some kind of issue and it just isn't worth it. Do NOT give him back any money. Your husband did the work, he paid him, everyone needs to move on. Good luck!

Give the money back and then don't do anymore work for family. We have this problem a lot in our family. My husband is an electrician. my brother in law is a painter. my husband does work for family pretty much for free all the time. but my brother in law always wants to be paid. then he will call and ask my husband to do work for his friends and tells them oh my brother will do it cheap for you you just have to get the stuff. ummm big fat no on that lol. my husband tells anyone wh needs a side job done. my hourly rate is $125 an hour at work. I do it on the side for $50 an hour. cash up front. he gives them a quote of what it will be and if they quibble he says go ahead and find someone else lol.

I would simply tell the parentals that you don't appreciate them and their little "not so nice chat" with your husband over something that wasn't their business. Your brother is a grown man (or is he?) and is perfectly capable of resolving any issues he might have with your husband. Did your brother ASK them to talk to your husband? If not, then that's it. The end. If he did, then you just tell them it is between your husband and brother. Let: "they are grown men who negotiated a job and decided on a price" be your mantra.

I'd bet that your parents don't know what the original (3 x the price) costs would have been if done by the company. I tend to think that most misunderstandings like this come from miscommunication and lack of information. Maybe your brother thought the $500 deduction was before the additional labor from friends, and he was hoping the price would go down even more. So he is moaning... and if he got screwed by FEMA, then he is probably just venting about the whole process in general, and your parents took his vent out of context.
I'd bet your brother isn't even upset... he just is worn out of dealing with and having to even think about the entire thing. And that's when people vent and tell a story about how bad this or that was... and he told it to your parents. THEY probably took it all as something they needed to DO something about, not as just a vent/rant about having to fix a mess. And so they want to look out for their son (a common parental feeling).

I would just ascribe the best motivations to everyone involved and assume that parents misunderstood a vent/rant of your brother's. Tell them, "Hey.. I don't know what you think went on, but they discussed the job at length, they got a quote, etc and agreed on the job. Johnny hasn't complained to husband, so I don't understand why you are..... Did I miss something somehow? Because it was a very discounted rate for the work and Johnny seemed happy to be done with it all. If he didn't like the terms, then he should have spoken up before it was done, or looked around for someone else if he thought he could get it done more cheaply. He's a grown man."

I think i would get a written quote from the company he works for to do the work and then get a quote from another company in a similar line of work. Perhaps your husband knows someone from another company?? Then I would show it to your parents and ask them nicely to butt out of things that were not their business. In black and white, they should be able to see that your husband give brother a really good deal. Then I would sit down with the brother and review the scope of the job and the amount that your husband initially quoted. Then i would discuss the $500 he came down on the price. (Why- was he "crediting back some of the labor from the stepson & friends??) I would listen to what brother had to say and come to some fair resolution. You husband might need to be the bigger guy here, but he should also make it clear that he is no longer available to do business with them.

He did the work and he deserves to be compensated for it. Did your brother get any other quotes before asking your husband to do the work? I can't imagine any of their quotes being less.

It sounds like your brother never had any intention of paying and it sounds like maybe the apple didn't fall far from the tree if your parents are backing him, expecting your husband to do the work for nothing.

Honestly, he did the work and I think your brother should pay. I am not sure if there is any winning with people like that.

How is your relationship with your family otherwise?

I would reiterate the fact that he gave them a significant discount...lower than what he'd charge non-relatives. The job was 90% labor and he's charging the least amount he can accept for the work done. They should be grateful for the discount & for the fact he helped them out. I would then be leery about doing work for them in the future. I would not return the money. It was already agreed that your husband would be paid & the relatives should've expected to be charged & as you said, they DID agree on the price so I'm not sure why they're arguing. Perhaps you should remind them of that as well.

Unfortunately, the relatives seem like those I've had experience with...always wanting work done as a 'favor' or for cheap to nothing. I was recently asked to do a job that required me driving an hour each way, out of my way, for 2 days to feed & take care of the animals they have for a business they own. I expected to get paid for it as the person they hired for the job called in sick last minute and they were, to my knowledge, going to pay her as far as I knew. I explained that I was already obligated for another job but they pleaded w/me saying that there was no one else available. So I reluctantly agreed. I mainly didn't want to b/c I was obligated for another job already which I ended up getting behind on that work due to this matter but I agreed nonetheless.

Well, they never paid me! They apparently thought I should spend my entire tank of gas, which I'd JUST filled up my tank the night before they called, and it took the entire tank! Not to mention my time spent driving 2 hours per day to do the job all for nothing. Plus, which makes things worse, they have money so it's not like they couldn't afford to pay me & they know we're struggling financially as it is! I just can't understand why they expected me to do that for free.
Needless to say, I will be very leery about doing another job for them w/o discussing payment.

Every once in a while I do work for my family and I always feel awkward asking for money.

My brother in law has written the paperwork to refinance our house and it was in the contract how much his percentage was. We signed it and the money came out of escrow.

He later knew how much we had in the bank and asked to borrow some money.

I had no problem charging him when he asked for my work.

When my nephew (child of same brother in law) needed graduation photos, I did this for free.

When my cousin asked me to photograph her wedding, I told her sure, and said we would have to meet to sign the agreement and to pick up the deposit. She never called me back, I called back once and since I never heard from her, I never shot it. I was removed from her FB friends list and her Uncle asked why I never showed.

When my niece asked me to photograph her wedding, I did so, but told her she had to pay my assistant because I couldn't do it by myself. I pulled the money off her veil after the money dance.

I get to decide who gets a discount or a goodwill job and no one else. Of course I could get screwed, but it won't happen twice.

I would ask your brother why he feels he deserves this discount. See what his reason was. Does he think the job was not done properly? Ask if everything is working properly and then wait for him to answer. It is business, family or not.

Point out how your husband UNDER QUOTED to begin with and didn't quote what he normally would his regular customers because he was doing a job for family, and the original quote was giving them a deal.

It's none of your parents' business. They need to stay out of it.

give the money back., its not worth it. my fiancee did thousands of dollars worth of work in his skilled trade at his aunts. it was all stuff that wasnt needed but J. wanted for her own pleasure. he had the equipment, skills, and still charged less than what she was quoted by almost 1/2
They has a conctrct, she kept adding things and then at the end she was confused and thought she didnt owe him his final payment of 1k even though he workd for 2 weeks after her previous installment. there were multiple discussions and he ended up J. telling her it wasnt worth it. She has lots of money and was holding her ground and beig rude and involving family. she knew the 1k meant ALOT to us and was a bottle of wine to her, and could care less, with all of that my fiancee still told her he wasnt going to argue anymore and would eat it because he didnt want it in between them for years to come.
its only been 6 months, its a little awkward since although he apologized for confusion to her and told her he loves her, she never said anything about being sorry for her rather rude actions. Things are getting better,
if its for someone as close as a brother let it go or meet 1/2 way int he middle and agree to disagree and allow yourselves to believe both parties arent trying to cheat anyone...if not family get togethers are going to stink for years
ALSO if he is your brother and their house was J. flooded and this was needed and not for appearance and he doesnt have the money your huisband should help for as low as he can, whether that be free or x dollars...family helps family in bad sittuations

ETA
Why would an hourly rate be so bad? my fiancee gave one for his aunt knwoing that he could do it faster because she was family.

I think that you guys should not go into the details of it with your parents. You should essentially tell them that this is between your husband and brother, and they should butt out. If your brother wants to cry on their shoulder, then that can be between him and them. Tell them that. This was not their arrangement, and your brother did not decline when the price was quoted. If it's that big a deal to your husband or brother, then the two of them should have a friendly chat where your husband can clarify his position with the pricing and then they can agree not to work together again.

My husband does a/c and appliance repair and installs. In our experience with family jobs (always get more than a maor discount where we make next to nothing on it), something always goes wrong or they gripe about price, knowing they are getting it thousands of dollars cheaper. He could be putting in a new A/C for a full paying customer, but took time out of his schedule and money out of his pocket to help a family member. We quickly figured out it wasn't worth it!! If it's not mine or his parents or grandparents (which we don't charge of course), we don't do the work, but gladly refer them to someone we trust!

DON"T EVER work for or with family. Plain and simple. I've been on the other side of this, with a family member attempting to gouge us on something and overcharge for what should have been a pay "in beer and pizza" kind of job (much like helping family members move, or helping family put in a new deck, etc, where the homeowners are doing as much work as the helpers...). It just NEVER ends well.
Was there a price set before the work was done, and then your husband upped the price because the work was harder than he thought or what? Because if there was a pre-set price, I can't see how there could be a problem now. They either agreed or didn't, and he either does the job for the price quoted, or he doesn't do the job, right?