Hugging ALL the Time...???

This is too funny and brings back sweet memories of my son. We are a very huggy family as well and it was not a big deal until he started kindergarten and he would hug everyone before he left at the end of the day. Most of the girls didn't mind but the other boys hated it! His teacher finally called me about it. We finally had to tell him that not everyone likes to be hugged and he would need to save up all his hugs for us. This was hard for him for the first couple of days but we had such hugging parties when he came home that he did think it was more fun hugging us. He is 18 now and still loves to hug - even his mom! - and he is a very romantic person with his girlfriend because he learned how to show the most important people how he felt and not just giving away all his precious hugs to people who didn't want them. Good luck! Also on the potty training - I bought 1 last package of diapers and switched back and forth all day. My daughter quickly realized she liked the big girl panties better and by the time we finished with that package of diapers she was trained! We did keep a few pull ups around for night time but really didn't need them after a month. Good luck!

I can understand your plight, even the cutest things can get annoying after a little while! And my kids are the ones that dont really like other kids hugging them all the time, so I see both sides here. It is time to start teaching her about personal space...aka..peoples "bubbles". I knew a little girl that we taught to pretend that everyone had a bubble around them to keep them healthy and safe, and that if she hugged them for more than a count of 2 the bubble would pop and the kids might be upset. We talked about how our family's bubbles like each others hugs and it makes their bubbles stronger etc, but with other people, we need to be more careful. We also talked about other ways to make their bubbles stronger, by sharing or saying nice things etc. It sounds a little corny, and may not work for your childs personality, but it helped us with this little girl in my day care. If she had a great day, her mom would let her have "bubble gum", like a peice of trident or something. Another idea would be that she could have a bubble bath that night, or play with bubbles in the bath tub, just to keep with the theme. You will have to let us know what works for you...we all need great and creative ideas to keep it together! Take care ~A.~

My son got "in trouble" at his cdo for hugging. Long story short, I spoke to our ped. She said that his behavior (ie hugging friends) was entirely and totally age appropriate. She said it showed he was friendly, etc. but she understood how the school might not like it (even though we both felt they over reacted). She suggested diverting his energy either by telling him only to hug family or close friends. She suggested high fiving instead. Great in theory but in practice, I thought it verged on hitting. So I stopped that.

I now just try and keep an eye on him and remind him to be careful and try and divert him from his friends who don't like his hugs as much. It's a fine line. I've noticed in the past few months that he doesn't hug quite as much and I wonder if your daughter will also ease up a bit. It seems to me that this is a phase.

My son did this for the longest time and finally one day just grew out of it. It took about four to five months. When his friends started pushing him away.

I love Amber's 'Bubble' theme idea. That is great! I have not dealt with this with my own kiddos but when I worked in a daycare, I had a 3-4 year old boy who constantly kissed me...and other kids. Drove me bonkers. He would kiss anything he could reach-a knee, an elbow, my leg, my face, my hair, my arm, my hands. We would be in circle time and I would watch his slowly edging toward me and if he got within distance, he would lean over and kiss whatever he could reach while I was reading or teaching the class. He was impossible to escape. I finally had to approach is mother because if it was annoying me, I knew it was annoying the other kids.

His mom thought it was funny but thankfully, she took care of it. It seemed that she simply discussed with him that we kiss our family but that kissing was not appropriate for teachers and friends. It didn't take him long to stop the habit.

Now, granted, hugging is more appropriate. Maybe, along with the bubble idea, say that we hug as a 'hi' and 'goodbye' with our friends. We can hug family anytime but with friends it is just another way of saying hi and goodbye. This might cut the instances down so it is not quite as frequent and annoying.

Good luck!

I think this is a great opportunity to teach your child about personal space. YOu can be loving and affectionate without invading peoples personal space, unless they have given their consent... So the next question is, "How do I stop the hugs after the child has somewhat given their consent (aka, the one that minds the least)?" I would say, personal space again. It is ok to be sweet to friends, but some behavior is inappropriate. The conversation could all stay very positive... What a lovely daughter is sounds like you have! :) Good Luck!

I would treat it as any other type of behaviour issue. It's great that she likes to hug, but she may end up hugging the wrong kid who really won't like it.

Explain to her that hugs are nice, but a child can't play and run around when they are being held the whole time. Tell her and show her how fun it is to actually play with another child, for instance with dolls or a play kitchen or blocks, or even coloring. Help her get excited about other activities and encourage her to play next time by bringing shared toys to the next play date.

I found this advice on babycenter, too bad it's only the other mom's responses and not the expert discussion, but some advice may be helpful.

http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-discourage-my-dau...

Never had that problem, but plenty of others. She is plenty old enough for you to talk about appropriate behavior. She may not remember for very long, so you'll have to remind her before each play date. Just say "hugging is good. hugging too long is not appropriate. Hug the person for 2 seconds then let go."

Make up a signal so you don't have to yell at her in front of others..... like opening your closed hands.... so she knows to stop. She'll often forget at her age, so don't be mad.

If hugging too much was among the inappropriate behaviors my kids did, I would've been relieved. Behaviors can get much worse than hugging, like nose picking, sticking their hands in their underwear EVERYWHERE.... etc.

Your request could have been mine a couple of years ago! My daughter would hug until she would fall down (sometimes on top of) her friends. I also worried about discouraging it too much, b/c I was glad to see she was so loving. My mom would tell me not to react too much b/c she would figure it out in her own time what personal space means. When we noticed her going to hug, we would always remind her about hugging and then "releasing". Looking back, the phase passed over a few months, and now that she's almost 5, she doesn't even remember her hugging days. She is still loving towards her family, but with friends, she totally understands hugging after a playdate and respecting her friends personal space. Enjoy this age, b/c before you know it, she will be on to something totally different!