How to Tell 3 Year Old We Have to Give Away One of Our Dogs

Truth Truth Truth!

Not to mention a few years down the line when the "I want a _______" conversation comes up, you can actually go down the list on why your family CHOSE to adopt the puppy to another family, and see if/how those same problems apply and possible solutions.

Ditto I'd highlight that your *family* (making it inclusive) is *choosing* to give your puppy to a family that has the time and ability to care for him, and that sometimes people have to make choices you don't like, because it's what's best. Just like how your daughter has to choose not to hit because she's angry (or whatever developmental lesson y'all are in). Sometimes "best" is hard, and sometimes it's sad, but it's ALWAYS *brave*. So your family is making a brave choice, even though it makes you sad to do so.

My personal definition of "courage": Doing the RIGHT thing, even though you're scared or sad to do so.

2 moms found this helpful

Definitely tell her the truth but you can say something like, "We're really having a hard time taking care of the puppy so we found a home where they can take better care of him." We recently had to give away a cat with medical problems and we explained it the same way to my son. He was ok with it. On another note, my dog died when I was 14. My Aunt told my 3 year old cousin that he ran away. They lived a few blocks away so every time the 3 year old came over he asked me if we found the dog - which really bothered me but I couldn't tell him the truth. My cousin is now 36 years old. He recently asked me about the dog running away and I told him the dog died but his mother didn't want him to be upset. He was really annoyed that she lied him about it. So, telling the truth is always the best policy... you can just modify the truth for a little kid to help them better understand.

1 mom found this helpful

ACCEPT yourself that the adorably destructive puppy has to go.... I assume your 3yo knows the family that will take the puppy but if not make her part of the process assuring her she can visit anytime she would like... If you don't make a BIG DEAL out of it, it will go to the bottom of the learned issues. If you notice she is wondering when she will be moved to another family explain you were just "holding" the puppy until the other family was ready to have her... Assure her then, she is definitely part of YOUR family and always will be! Perhaps there are some books in the library that cover this issue.

1 mom found this helpful

My parents had two German Shephard dogs when I was very young. I remember being very close to these dogs, riding on their backs, snuggling with them, etc.... One bit the postman and my parents, in order not to have their insurance go up, had them euthanized. But, at the time, (and throughout most of my life) I was told that they went to a farm where they could run and have a better life. I bought it hook, line and sinker. As I said, it was not until I was an adult that my mother told me the truth. Good thing, I am now upset with her.

So if I were you, since you are telling the truth, I would let her know that you are giving this puppy to a wonderful home who will take really good care of him. Children want to know the story ended well. If she hasn't played a lot with the puppy than it should not be too traumatic. (There probably will still be tears. Children are great body readers and she will see your discomfort)

I wish you the best of luck with this transition.

1 mom found this helpful

Absolutely tell the truth. And please let her say her goodbyes to the dog, also. My parents put our dog down when I was a child and they thought it would be best to tell us about it afterward. My brother and I were absolutely CRUSHED that we didn't get to say one last goodbye. I can't tell you how much that hurt as a child.

1 mom found this helpful

Please just be honest about it. Somehow the truth always comes around and she would feel so betrayed by you when she found out. Just expect for her to be upset and sad. Try not to feel guilty about it when she does.
We got a new home for our German Shepherd after my 2nd son was placed (he was adopted) with us. We got the dog and three days later we got a call that they had a baby for us. Ended up my son had reflux and it was SO hard on us all. Him crying all the time and nobody got any sleep for months until we figured out what was wrong and got some help. During all of this it was just too much to have an 80lb dog chewing/peeing and barking all the time. I felt bad but we made a decision. Found her a great home thank goodness. But my son still talks about her and misses her. I understand that he feels the way he does and validate him when he brings it up instead of trying to avoid his feelings.
Hope no body on here makes you feel bad for your decision. Sometimes it just stinks being the grown up :(
Best Regards,
C.

1 mom found this helpful

I highly recommend telling her the truth. She can handle it. Exposing children to safe pain will help them learn coping skills even at that young age.

She will get over the situation and you need to make the family the priority. I recommend explaining to her that you want to focus more energy on playtime and fun family time and the puppy takes away too much of that. The puppy is also not getting the attention that he needs from you because you don't have enough time to take care of him. This other family will invest the time and take care of him and he'll be happier. She'll get it as long as you're comfortable and confident with what you're doing.

1 mom found this helpful

I don't know about this one because I always believe telling the truth is important but I also know that sometimes a white lie here and there is sometimes necessary.
I don't know that I could give away our puppy even though there have been times I wanted too like when he chewed up the side of my dining room table, or chewed up the lanolium in our kitchen. Has chewed on some of our kitchen cabinets as well but I know its a stage and hopefully he will grow out of it and I just have to be consistent about watching him at all times. Those instances ALWAYS happened when my husband was supposed to be "watching" him-yeah right!!!
I do not and cannot teach my children that you can get an animal and then just rid of him/her when you get tired of them. I took on the responsability as an owner to care for him until the day he died. I can't turn my back on him now and I can't turn my back on my kids either. They would be devestated even though he gets on their nerves by destroying all their stuff and things they have. Perhaps I am insane and should try to find him another home but I made a commitment and its more important that I show my children that when you make a commitment even through the hard times you still stick by their side.
I am not trying to be harsh with you for making the sort of decision you have and its not like you are giving the puppy up to the pound or something. You were kind enough to find him a new loving home rather than dropping him off at the pound. Poor thing would have been so scared to death.
I think telling her the truth would be best if you think she can understand it but someone else posted saying to tell her the dog stressed others out and so forth please don't tell her that!!!!! Just let her know that the dog was a little bit more than what you expected to care for but that you found him/her a brand new home for a family that has more time to give than our family does. Is this other family close by? Would you be able to offer visits for your daughter? Also maybe if they could send some pictures periodically that might help too. Good luck I know it was a hard decision - one I have conteplated many occassions myself but I just wouldn't be able to do it myself personally.

Never lie to her. Tell her the truth.

I think you should tell your daughter the modified truth. It is better to let her know now because some day it ill slip out or she will find out somehow...they always do. Just tell her that the puppy needs a lot of walks and attention and love and he needs to be happy. We want what is best for him and he will be so much happier where he can get what he needs.

Honesty is always best. My son was mad when we had to give away our rabbit, but he understood it had to be done.

Just be honest. Tell her "Sami" is very active and requires a home where he can run and play more. Explain to her that he as a puppy is stressing out family, friends and the other family dog. Point out to her that the children are stressed which has made people not want playdates anymore. Let her go with you to buy some parting gifts (a toy, a bed) for the puppy and let the puppy go. This sounds as if it will be the best bet for everyone and everyone wins. You said yourself he is not playing/interactive and super bounded with your daughter. She will get over it and be fine. For goodness sake.... A preschooler would be sad if she lost a mylar ballooon in the air..... Of course she says and looks very sad at the time, but she will be fine, get over it and move on. It is probably a bigger issue for you than her...If you are just "matter of fact" with it, she will adjust and move on. If you bring all of the emotions to the table, she will act more emotional. That is a "four year old" developmental stage.... (Happy I took classes on the Fab Four). Tell her the truth very matter of fact. Buy the gifts give the puppy to the other family.... If you want another dog, get one that is older.... Good Luck!

Tell her the truth, that the puppy is going to a new home where she can be happy and get more attention. Your daughter may be sad at first but she will be ok.

I'm an advocate of telling the truth to children in an age appropriate manner.

It's hard telling our children things that may cause conflict or heartache. But, I believe it is always best to be honest with our children. She is young, she'll get over it quickly enough. It may be an opportunity to work on her character a bit (isn't everything?). Also, she needs to learn to trust you and obey you, not to rebel against your decisions. I think it would be less stressful for a child to know that you are in control, you made this decision, and this was not an accident. It might actually cause her more fear if she thinks the dog ran away or got stolen. I would think that could cause insecurities in her that can last a long time. The dog itself she will get over. The idea of getting lost and never found might cause more permanent damage. Blessings!

I would tell her..."the puppy missed his mommy and wanted to go back to his mama" works like a charm..we were fostering a cat..and we already have cats but something about this one..everyone was allergic and it was nasty to other animals..so i gave it back to the rescue and told my son she was missing her own mommy..he was sad for the moment i told him and then i said.."you wouldn't want to be away from me right?" and he agreed..he is 4 now..we have 2 chihuahuas i rescued..and one of them is destructive and is still marking..so i keep them in the downstairs room with a doggy door and can only be in the house when supervised..they'res so cute that the destructive behavior only bugs me for a little bit..they're not overly but i know if i left them alone in the house my couch would be destroyed..do u have enough chew toys for your pup? or have you tried a trainer?
my older dog also has no interest in the puppies and finds them annoying..so i can relate..try telling her the doggy wants it's mommy..and make sure this new family is serious and that the pup will be in good hands :)

xo

I would think if she believed the dog ran away that would make her more sad and even be scary. Honesty is always best.

Hello, Honesty is always the best way to handle things. I would tell her that the puppy will have more fun with the other family because the will have the time to help her to learn how to behave better. Also, mention how her friends will want to come over the play more.
I know a family that told their son that their puppy went to the puppy hospital. He mentioned this to me for months. He kept waiting for the puppy to come back home.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.