How to Prepare 3 1/2 Year Old Son for a Week Away from Mom and Dad.

Hi S.,
May I suggest stickers and a small calendar? That worked really well when my boys were little. Gram and Gramps can help him apply the stickers each night at bedtime. I think not making to big of a deal about it will also help. Make it fun for him and it will be fun.
Best of luck.
L.

I wrapped up some small presents (sticker book, games, etc.) for my daughter to play with my mom when my husband and I were out of town. She got to open one a day, and thought it was a lot of fun.

If this is your first time away from him, prepare yourself for some separation anxiety once you get back. However, at this age, he should be able to understand that you will come back for him after you are away and that he will be with people that love him (especially since you have him in daycare... I'm guessing).

I would tell him in advance that he is going to get to stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a couple of days while you and Daddy go on a trip. You don't have to be too detailed about where you are going, but make sure he understands that he will be staying overnight more than once. Explain that he will have fun with them, and that you will check in each day at (set a time like before supper or after nap, etc.)if you plan to do so. I suggest checking in with him... it helps our little guy to hear our voices on the phone because he knows we're thinking of him, etc. and eases any anxiety he might have (plus he gets to brag about the fun stuff he's done with Grandma and Grandpa).

Be sure to pack some of his favorite toys and if he has a special sleeping item... toy, blanket, pillow,jammies, etc... they are a MUST to take along. Anything that connects him to home... and you guys... while you are away will help him adjust to being away from you.

It might not hurt for him to spend some quality time with Grandma and Grandpa prior to the big event as well. Just a thought. Good luck...have fun... and don't stress too much about being away from him (he'll have a great time). You and your husband deserve time for yourselves too.

We left our 2 year old for a week with grandma when we went to Mexico this last January. We made a VCR tape of my husband and I talking to him, holding up and taling about some toys he was taking with him, the things he was going to see and do while at grandmas, etc. It was maybe about 7-10 minutes total. My mom said it was super and he loved it.
We also gave my mom a small gift, a new train for his train set, that we had her give to him so it was something special from grandma.
Good luck.

Hi S.,
I am going to completely disagree with a lot that has been said already and you will just have to adapt to your son's unique personality.

My husband is a singer and tours Europe every other summer for 2 weeks. I have gone with him ever since we have been together - a great perk of our marriage! We have 3 children so I do some of the stuff people have suggested for the older ones. But I say, DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT!

Parents SO overdo things and their poor children get overwhelmed. At this age, I always recommend thinking about what you are going to say ahead of time and then scaling it back to a third. By the time your kids are teenagers, you should be able to say everything you need to say within 30 seconds.

Here's why: If you talk about it and talk about it and talk about it, they will lose 90% of what you are saying but they will pick up that Mommy is really mad about something, or really sad about something, or really worried about something.

At this age, as another poster stated, he will have no clue whether it is 1 night or several nights. Plus, he is going to be having a blast and why do you want to keep reinforcing this "horrible" thing that you talked and talked and talked about that he sensed made you so anxious?

Ask yourself if you are worried for him or worried for you. As a 16-year veteran of many parenting mistakes, I guaranteed you HE will be fine with a kiss and a "see you on Sunday".

Your mom and dad are doing a great thing for you so maybe ask them how THEY would like to handle any sadness your son may have. They may have some great ideas. I think we forget that the older generation wasn't completely clueless in raising children. In our efforts to be great parents, we sometimes need to get over ourselves. I'm not saying this is you but you see it so much - the superparent!

Relax and Enjoy your time with your husband.

We go on an anniversary trip every year. This past year was the first time that my daughter was old enough to realize that we were going on a trip...without her! So we really played up that she was going on a trip to grandma and grandpa's house. We even went and let her pick out her own little wheelie suitcase to pack her things in. We got her a disposable camera so she could take pictures on her "trip" and she was able to choose some snacks to take with her. She was almost more excited about her trip than we were about ours! She did just fine and didn't mind that we were gone. Good luck and try not to worry.

Talk about it alot before hand and call daily to talk to him. Bring some familiar things from home. Maybe buy some small inexspensive presents he can open one a day at Gramma's house until you get back that would cheer him up.

Start preparing your child by talking about mom and dad taking a trip. Let your son help in getting things ready for going to grandma and grandpa's. Create a small photo book that holds pictures of you, your husband and your child. Then whenever your son misses you he can pull out the book and look at the photos. Talk about the things he'll get to do when he's at grandma and grandpa's house. Talk about the fun he'll have. If possible set up a time where you can call him every day or every other day to talk for a few minutes, depending on the needs of your child and whether having contact with you would just make him more sad!
Hope the ideas are helpful. Have fun on your trip and enjoy the break.

Time is a hard concept for him to understand at 3. I put a picture in a frame of me and my husband and packed it with our daughter. I told her to look at it and "talk" to it when she missed mom and dad. My mother in law said she slept with the picture everynight:) Good luck!

S.,
I would not really worrie about it. My daughter recently went 6 days to my sisters house. I was sick in the hospital and my husband was out of town for his job. My daughter acted as if it was only one night while she was there. I would call her on the phone every day she would talk for a min or two and then go back to what she was doing.
One thing that I did make sure that my daughter had was a picture of mom and dad so that she could kiss good night. I think that if I would have knowen that I was going to be gone away from her for so long, I would have told her every day how many days she had left until mommy and daddy where going to be gone for a little while.
B.

Just know that he'll be fine and try to focus on your exciting week to come!

I would have to agree. I to have left my 2 yr old with grandma and grandpa for a week or longer a couple of different times, all due to me being in the hospital. She has no problem adjusting and does just fine. Make sure that he has some of his favorite toys, books, and security items (my oldest has her teddy bear from daddy and a blanket). I am sure he will do just fine. It will bother you more than him!

In January my DH and I went away for 4 nights also...first extended stay away from DD who is 3. My in-laws stayed with her at our house...I think that helped a bit because it was a familiar surrounding...the only thing that was different was that mom and dad weren't around.

Also, we told her grandma and papa were coming, but didn't really tell her that we were leaving until a day beforehand. We didn't make a big deal, just said we were taking a big trip and she would stay with grandma and grandpa. I didn't want her to "stress" about it for multiple days and make a big deal out of it. We just acted real casual, with little notice. She did great! One thing to be prepared for though is that we called every night that we were away and she didn't want to talk to us on the phone?! Once we got home though she was so happy to see us and did great while we were away. Your son will do great...enjoy your trip and don't worry about your son. :)

I think you should tell him about it a few days in advance - talk about it as something really fun and exciting (and I am sure it will be!). What a great thing for all of you!

Hi S.,
I'm very happy for you that you and your husband will be taking time away together. We are better spouses and parents when we take time to nurture our relationship; make a habit of doing it. Not only for your marriage but adjusting to little bits of time away from you is very good for your child. It will help him to be a well-adjusted child. Having been a teacher of this age group, I can tell you this is a character trait you always want to develop.

Now to your question: Children this age have a very poor concept of time. (It doesn't help when we say "just a minute" to them and that minute can sometimes mean a moment and sometimes mean 1/2 hour.) :) Make a 5 day over-sized calendar for him. 5 big squares. Between each square, draw a picture of a bed (or better yet, a picture of him sleeping). When you get to grandma's, hang it up and go through it with him day by day. "This square is today. Today we packed your suitcase and we drove to grandma's house. Today Mommy and Daddy are going to go away and you get to stay here with Grandma. When its time for bed tonight, Grandma will give you a crayon for you to cross off today because it will be all done. Then you go to sleep. When you wake up, it will be tomorrow. (point to the next square) Tomorrow you get to..." If there are special activities planned for a certain day, a picture of that activity can be drawn in that square. Having a visual reminder of the days is completely understandable to a child this age.

Something else my husband and I have always done when we're gone (and continue to do even though our children are older), is we make up a bag for each day we're gone. We use the white lunch bags you can buy just about anywhere. We write the day on each bag. Each morning, our children get to open a bag. Sometimes its some candy for each and sometimes its a new video to share that night. It gives them something to look forward to each day AND its been the alternative to bringing home some "junky souvenior" from wherever we've been.

And, while I'm on a roll here: this doesn't pertain to you right now but if others read this... whenever someone from our family will be gone (the kids to church camp, my husband on biz, etc), those remaining at home will make up an envelope for each day they will be gone. When they are about to leave, we hand them their stack of dated envelopes so they have something to open each day while they are gone. Each envelope will be a note, a drawing, etc from various family members. Often it simply says, "we love you and we're praying for you".

I hope you have a fabulous time away together. Take off your parent "hat" and become totally focused on each other. Hey, and put some thought into that time together as well. Prepare to surprise him. It doesn't need to be fancy. There's an old song with this line: "she was standing in the kitchen with nothing but an apron on". One time I packed an old Menards apron, suprised my husband, that's for sure!!! :)

K.

We just got back from a mini vaca with out our three and a half year old daughter. We left her with my in-laws, for an extended sleepover, three nights. We only told her the day before and the day of, and she was so excited.

The had movie night with popcorn, a fort in the spare room, and of course, ( I had to laugh) a birthday party for the dog??? They made cupcakes and bought two latex balloons. Alyssa was raving that she got to decorate the cupcakes!!!

She also was having so much fun that she didn't want to talk to us on the phone. I'm sure your son is going to be fine, and I'm sure whatever hurdle there is, your parents can handle it!!

Just have fun, and don't overdo it with reminding him everyday that you will be leaving. I agree with one of the other parents on here, they won't take it as reminders, but will worry or stress then. If it's more casual, there will bee less tension from the young child.

Have a great time!