How to Handle Kids @ Dads House & Mean Child...

I would take pictures of the bruises and document everything that goes on, then visit with my attorney. If the girls' daddy is not willing to protect them, I would get a court order to have his visits with them either supervised or without girlfriend and her children.

I agree with everything said here about confronting your ex, documenting all bruises with pictures and descriptions about when, where on the body, what happened, etc. If need be, get your pediatrician involved in documenting the injuries since pictures won't do much good.

Also, about your daughter's defending themselves. Teach them that "hitting" and "protecting" themselves are two different things. Explain this to your ex too. That you are going to teach your girls to YELL when they are being hurt. They are going to "protect" themselves by hitting back or running away. And they are going to tell on this other child EVERY time she's mean. And that you expect your ex to intervene.

I went through something similar in our gym's child care. One of the other boys was mean to my little girl. His mother was one of the 'teachers' and did little to intervene before he hit, pushed, etc. So I taught my older daughter to stick close to her little sister when he was around. To YELL at him "go away", "leave her alone", or get physical to defend her sister while yelling "STOP HURTING MY SISTER!" This way she wasn't "tattling" on this boy, she was drawing attention to herself and him to get the adults attention. After a few "confrontations" with my older daughter the boy would steer clear of my kids. And it taught my kids not to "tattle" or always depend on adults to come help. They learned early to take care of each other and stand up against bullies.

I don't usually advocate being physical, however I do believe in defending yourselves/siblings. And if the other kid "happens" to get a bloody lip, well so be it. Maybe if this other little girl gets hurt, maybe then your ex and his girlfriend will be more attentive when the girls "play" together. I have learned from experience that when the tables are turned on physical kids, suddenly their parents are more willing to get involved when it's THEIR baby who's getting hurt.

They're required to see their father - not his girlfriend and her bratty child. I'd let him know that the girls will be spending time with him AWAY from her because of her behavior.

Since they aren't over there all the time it shouldn't be too hard to arrange - given that they live with you and you can always plan when they'll be with him. Let him know in advance and make sure his girlfriend and her daughter aren't around during that time.

I'd start there. Good luck!

First of all, this is totally unacceptable, and visitation should be revoked if dear old dad isn't protecting his children. That should be brought up with lawyer and judge. Second, it is A-OK to teach older daughter that it is the right thing to do to defend someone else, namely her sister! If the bully is beating up on little sister, and sorry father isn't doing anything about it or isn't around, then older sister should be allowed to defend little sister. That's what stops brutes - being stopped! But, it shouldn't be like this - she shouldn't have to be in self defense mode every time they visit the dad. That should be taken care of! It is amoral, in my opinion, to teach children to just sit around and feel bad instead of making a stand and stepping in when someone is being abused, just because it is politically correct or whatever garbage to be peaceful and not defend the defenseless.

R.,
I think you need to see a lawyer if your ex doesn't want to admit that there is a problem.
But most importantly is to teach your daughters to defend themselves. YES your oldest should by all means defend her sister!!! I always taught my children, they do not hit, they do not bully other kids, but they should always defend themselves and their sibblings!!! Maybe when your daughter defends her sister your ex will be force to see that there is a problem.
Again, it is not that I am for violence, but they need to defend themselves!
Tell them not to pick a fight, and not to provoke, but surely defend each other at all times.
Blessings

I know I am repeating what others have said but I would take pictures and talk to your ex. Once a month (or twice when he lives up to his visitation agreement) he can be without his new honey and her bratty kid. Or, you can talk to lots of attorneys (initial consultation is free usually) about your rights and what, if anything, you can do. Just the mention of an attorney might set him up right. Tell him you don't want to cause trouble but you also don't want your daughter growing up thinking it's okay if people hit her and push her around!!!

You describe your relationship with your ex as "very cordial" so invite him over and sit down with him and your girls and have a talk. Let the girls tell him how they feel.
Is this girl always there? Why? Does she live there? Can he agree to be "dateless" the O. weekend that they are there?