How to Get Three Year Old to Get Dressed?

I think at 3 you are expecting too much to dress himself everyday. The are too busy and learning and exploring and get off track very easily. I would start by putting his pants and socks on and then hand him his shirt to put on. He will still need alot of direction this early in life. I know it hard when they do something one day and then resist the next it is all a learning curve. Even at 5 most kids can get themselves dressed very easily but still need help on occassion. Don't expect too much at this age.

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I agree with Cindy D....expecting him to dress himself everyday at this age is too much. Both of my kids prefered running about in their undies at this age so if I wanted them dressed, I had to dress them. As he gets older, you'll want to keep his choices to a minimum and make it fun for him. I used to tell my kids that all exposed bellys were for tickling and would come at them with wiggling fingers...that would get the to dress in a hurry with lots of giggles to boot! I also made up opposite day in which they were to do everything I told them not to..."Don't you dare put those clothes on!" and of course, they would because it was all in good fun :) I'm sure you'll find what works best for you and your son...good luck!

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My two kids are exactly the same age as yours. My 3.5 year old can dress herself but has no interest in it. And I don't blame her. She is three she would rather be naked or in her big girl panties. So I just dress her myself. Every now and then she wants to put something on by herself and I let her. But I would pick your battles and at this age I think they are too young to be expected to want to get dressed. I also wouldn't give time outs for it. On the days you have to be somewhere I would just put clothes on him yourself. Much faster and then you don't have to turn it into a battle. Eventually he will care and want to do it himself but until then I wouldn't worry about it.

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My daughter will be 3 next week. She goes to daycare everyday so I can work so we have a limited amount of time in the morning to get everything done(get dressed, eat, brush teeth, etc.). She is also capable of doing these things and she insists on doing them herself as well! However, it is always on her time schedule! :) Here's what I've just started doing: She picks out her outfit the night before and we lay it all out. In the morning, she has a sticker chart and gets a sticker for each task she completes(get dressed, brush teeth, etc.). Now, she obviously has to complete each task or else I'm not letting her out the door, but my goal (we just started this week) is that she will only get a sticker if she completes the task when I ask her to without whining or crying. Ultimately, I am hoping it will become second nature(almost) and just part of her routine where she doesn't really have to think about it. We'll see......So, in short, maybe some kind of sticker chart. Oh by the way, at the end of the week(5 days) if she gets all her stickers(there was no whining, etc.) she gets to pick out a prize from the prize box. Good Luck!

PS I was just reading the other responses....I do agree that they really shouldn't be rewarded for something that they should be doing, but at this age, in my opinion, small rewards to get them started doing these "behaviors" is perfectly fine.

On school days we have a rule that the kids have to get dressed before coming out of their rooms. No playing or breakfast until they're fully dressed. It took us awhile to get into this routine but it's really helped stop a last minute scramble out the door.

My 4 year old is told long sleeves or short and she really likes to pick her own clothes and usually dresses herself. If she's having a grumpy morning I'll give her an option between two tops and I'll pick the bottoms and I'll dress her.

I agree with giving him two choices of clothes. They definitely like choices, especially at that age. I've done that for a couple years for my daughter, who just turned 4. I would also tell him that he will have x number of minutes to get dressed on his own, or you will dress him (set a timer). Most kids like to be independent and dress themselves, and having mommy do it for them isn't much fun- especially if you do it fast.

Oh, and if he is going to daycare you can always make him go in his pajamas if he isn't cooperative. I work early morning shifts sometimes, and have to be out the door by 6:25. I had had it with my daughter fighting me for 30-45 minutes and almost making me late in the morning. I talked to her daycare provider and she was fine with me bringing her in her pajamas (and then she changed into regular clothes after she got there). So, the day after her next 30+ minute struggle, I didn't even try to put her clothes on. I just brought her in her pajamas. She wasn't happy about that! I told her I was sick of fighting with her in the morning and almost being late, so if she didn't want to go in her pajamas, she better behave herself and get dressed without fighting me. Guess what? Only had to do that once. The next time after that she started getting grumpy and realized on her own that she better behave and get dressed or she would be going in her pajamas again! Magic! I don't know if that will work for you or not, but maybe you can choose a time that it won't matter if he changes clothes when he gets there. Good luck!

Days he does not have to be dressed to be somewhere, I wouldn't worry about it at all. Days you do need to get out the door at a certain time, I would set a timer for 30 mins before you need to leave. He can get himself dressed, but it needs to be done before the timer goes off. The other option is to set a timer for 30 mins and he has until then to be dressed. Most kids that age like games, so make a game out of it, can he beat the timer? You could do a sticker chart and every time he beats the timer he gets a sticker. I would not go beyond the stickers, though, he does not need to be rewarded for something he should already be doing.
S.

Reading your request makes me smile. My now 5 1/2 year son was (still is) the same way. Although he does not get dressed on his own everyday, he just simply doesn't care about clothes or see a need to get them on for any kind of time schedule. Most of the time, he usually has at least 1 item on backwards or is wearing one of his older brothers (ages 7 and 9) clothing items. Not because he doesn't know the difference, but because he simply can't be bothered to get dressed or find correct clothes. My 3 year old daughter on the other hand changes her clothes at a minimum of 20 times (literally) a day. When you have to be somewhere at a certain time, my advice is not to make a big deal about it. Pick out the clothes the night before for him and give him warnings of "we're leaving in 15 minutes, please get dressed." If he does it, great. If not, allow some extra time that you can either help him or do it yourself. If he is like my son, getting dressed simply is not a priority at all for him. He certainly knows how to do it, just has more important things to do.

My son is the same way. I buy him a special cereal that he really loves and he's not allowed to eat breakfast at home unless he gets dressed and has his shoes and socks on. If he doesn't, then he has to eat breakfast at daycare instead. I don't know if that situation works for you. Also, on days when we have to get somewhere extra early, he picks out his clothes, puts them on at bedtime and sleeps in them! Probably not the ideal, but it works for us some days. He's not a sweaty sleeper or anything like that.

try telling him the new rule is to be dressed before you come out of his room in the morning.....and suprise mom with what he'll be wearing. We've also tried the guessing game......."ok, you go get dressed and when you come out I'll close my eyes and guess what shirt, pants and underwear you are wearing". It's a bit time consuming but they do love games at this age.

Now my son is 4 and I tell him that I will play one card game with him in the morning....but only when he is dressed.....socks too....and ready to go to school.

goodluck.

Hey T.,
I have a boy like that - just a total dawdler. Although this issue has not been totally resolved, even as he has gotten older, a few things help. The main thing is that on days that it matters to be dressed on time, it is the first thing done. No breakfast. No play. If there is time, he knows he can watch a cartoon when he is finished. If he doesn't get done quick enough the cartoon time will run out. He really wants to watch a cartoon. He still needs constant reminders though.
Good luck.

Maybe you could try taking away a favorite toy or DVD if he doesn't comply?

I agree with the timer suggestion. Get either a large screen digital kitchen timer (found with all the gadgets for cooking at most stores), or if you're lucky to find one, get one of those cute chicken timers or any other animal themed twist timer. Help him, but let him set the timer for 5 to 10 minutes, and see how he does beating the timer.

I'd also suggest picking out 1 or 2 full outfits/underwear/shoes the night before and have them sitting out for him to choose from. If he's like mine, they want choice, but sometimes don't know where to begin and just wander off because there's too much to choose from. Make it easy for him and give him two choices so he's in charge, but he has a clear goal set before him.

Try to give him a choice but it has to be no more than 2 choices that you can live with. I would suggest that his choices be you can get dressed now or you can leave your pj's on and we will go to school in your pjs. Throw an outfit into his bag so that he or the teacher can get him dressed after he gets to school. I have tried this with my 2 year old and it only takes 1-2 times of going to school in the pjs before they understand that you are serious. My daughter usually notices that she will be different from the other kids about 1/2 way to daycare and she is ready to get dressed (we then dodge into the bathroom and change quick)

I had to laugh when I read your email because we use to have the same issue with our little boy. He goes to private school and wears a uniform so getting dressed is a pretty easy thing to do. What seemed to work for me were the 2 times he went to school in the car without his uniform on. It was pretty cold!! Yes, I picked him up and just carried him to the car crying and screaming (once he was still in his pjs and the other time he was naked). Then when we got to school, he got dressed in the car (otherwise, I threatened to bring him to his locker and have him get dressed there!) It completely worked for us. He now dresses himself without any issues. He is 1 yr older than your boy thought so that can make a huge difference.

Hi T.,
You have gotten some great suggestions already -- I especially agree with the folks who say not to worry about it on days you don't need to be anywhere, and the suggestion about bringing him to school in his pjs if he doesn't get dressed (probably doesn't work as well if he's in his undies, LOL). If you talk to his teacher about it beforehand, she'll probably be fine with it and can ask him about it when he gets there. I've always found with my daughter (now 6) that she does better if another adult reinforces what mom says. You can also try praising him very enthusiastically when he DOES get dressed, and/or let him overhear you telling someone else how proud you are of him -- dad, grandma, etc.
The topic of dawdling came up recently in my ECFE class and the teacher had a couple of other suggestions as well. She said to try using a picture chart with 3-4 of the important things that need to get done in the morning (getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, etc). Then you can say something like "What else is on your chart that needs to get done?" Asking a question like that is also helpful even when the chart isn't there because it gives the "power" to the child. Since he's the one who said he needs to get dressed, he's more likely to do it than when mom tells him. Gotta love 3-year-old logic, but it works!
Good luck!
Sara

I think rewards and praise will get you a long way. Stickers, charts rewards etc. It takes a lot of energy at that age to process the task and conplete it. I don't let my 3 year old come to the table for breakfast until he's dressed. Often I help. Sometimes he wants to do it all himself. Trying to break his all time fastest record for getting dressed works sometimes. Good luck.