How Long Is Your And/ or Your Spouse's Commute?

When I worked it was an hr then down to 30 min (including day care drop off) ... I do not think I will do a long commute happily again. If the money is worth it then it is an option but it would have to be pretty substantial. My man's is 20 as long as the traffic is moving near speed limit (typical).

My husband's commute isn't really one. He works right down the road, less then 5 minutes away. I know he was so miserable with a long commute. One of the reasons we chose to live where we do, is because of his strong desire to live close to work. We liked neighborhoods in other cities better, but I am SO glad we chose to live closer to his work. He has more time with us, and is so much happier.

My wife and I made a deliberate decision to find a job close to home to keep the commute down. My new job is 1.8 miles and 6 signals away. Her commute is 6 miles and 6 signals away.

Having no commute is wonderful. (To us having a 10 mile or less commute is nothing.)

Good luck to you and yours.

We just moved and said goodbye to my husband's 50 min (each way) commute. Now it takes him 10 minutes. We eat breakfast and dinner together, go for family walk/time at the park BEFORE dinner and are less tired on the weekends. The trade off is a smaller place (townhouse with a tiny yard, rather than a house with a huge deck and yard), but the time together is worth so much more to us, plus there are great parks nearby. Good luck with your decision.

Hubby and I each have a commute of about 25 minutes.

When my kids were little, my commute was only 25 minutes in the morning, but 45 coming home due to the traffic. I hated it, which is one of the reasons I quit that job.

Yes, public vs. driving makes a difference. At least with public you can make some good use of your time and have sometime to wind down before getting home. Although, I know there can be disadvantages.

I also think that if both parents are commuting one should be close to home to handle child emergencies, school activities, doctors, etc.

I work at home...no commute! Well, maybe from my bed to the bathroom to brush my teeth! :) My husband works 50 miles from home and HATES his job! BUT, it's a job and he has put many aps in over the years and no one is really hiring right now...he does have an interview for a job next week and the place is 1 mile away!!!! No more tolls, huge gas bills and wear and tear on our car! Anyway...if you have a choice...try to avoid a commute...the time w/ your family & less stress is really important!

Mine is about 30 min and husband about 1hr. I wish it was closer.

Really, you're considering committing more than 10% of your husband's life to commuting? Think about that....he's already at 2 hours per day, close to 10% of his life. and if you put it in terms of "awake" time he's already at closer to 15%. Imagine all the things you could do as a family (or by yourself because he could watch the kids) if he wasn't spending that time commuting. Now, if he can work during that time and reduce his time at the office, that might make it a different story. Or could he work from home 1-2 days per week?

I know New Yorkers think long commutes are normal but......

I've had commutes ranging from 5 minutes to 45 minutes. When I had the 45 minute commute, I found we did NOTHING on the weekends because I just couldn't stand to think about spending more time in the car. So, although I wasn't miserable, and made good use of my time w/ NPR, books, etc. it still impacted my life quite a bit.

I'd really think hard about this one and consider how much you really want to spend time with each other.

We live in a suburb of Ft. Lauderdale, FL. My husband and I both commute nearly an hour (with daycare drop-off over an hour) to work daily. We are putting our house on the market and moving closer to our jobs (while we work near one another now, we didn't when we bought this house and since my husband has a lot of meetings to attend all over the city, we can't really commute together). It has become unbearable because of how it impacts our time with our children. We have a 5 year old and a 16 month old who commute with us. There is no public transportation so we drive two cars each day! My 16 month old is really too tired to endure the car ride home and my 5 year old misses out on evening activities at school because we can't go home, have dinner and go back. We have him in school near us so that we can attend things during the day - field day, career day, other parent-invited activities.

We will be going from a house to probably a townhouse and probably no yard. It will be worth it, I think! C.

My husband works as a flooring installer, so he's all over the place every day. His warehouse, however, is only about 10 minutes from our house.

I, however, so have a commute. It takes me about 40 minutes each way. The good part is that I am going against the commute traffic so I am moving the entire time and not stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

I used to work in San Francisco, and that commute really bothered me. I did take public transportation as I found it was a nice way to unwind after work and before getting home to take care of my baby. I could read, nap, or whatever. The few times I drove, I found I was a basket case by the time I got to the office!

Until last March, my husband was commuting from Dutchess County to Greenwich, CT. It's only 40-50 miles, but there was always traffic. An hour and 15 minutes, unless there was something bad, which there was at least once a week. My commute is less than 20 minutes. For now, Dh is starting a work from home position.

If I drove straight to work it would take me about 35 min (in good weather), but after meeting the bus for my oldest son and dropping my youngest at daycare it takes me 45-50 minutes.
My husband works about 3 minutes from my office, so his commute is 35 minutes each way b/c he does not drop off or p/u the kids.
It is totally worth it to us to live where we do. We've been there almost 10 years.

I used to commute to E. 96th Street from Princeton, NJ everyday (1 train & 2 subways!) and it would take me 1-2 hours depending on the day each way. My current commute is 45-60 minutes driving. I found the commute less draining on most days when I was taking the train as I could take that time to read or relax before & after work. For me, driving is much more stressful and I wish I could get rid of my car and walk everywhere. :)

I think the biggest thing to think about is how much of your day to you want to spend commuting and how much time does that take away from your family & enjoyment of your life. I would rather drive & have a shorter commute than go back to those long commutes. Now that my son has started Kindergarten I find it hard being 45 minutes away and the evenings are much more hectic than when he was just in preschool. I think you just have to weigh the pros and cons and figure out what works best for you & your family.

I do remember as a kid my dad having a long commute from Long Island to Manhattan that I often didn't seem him during the week. We moved to Georgia, my dad had a shorter commute and was around a lot more. It was soooo much nicer than the life we had on LI with the long commute for him.

My commute is about 30 minutes each way driving from one town to another. Some people drive more than this in one town. My commute used to be about 10 minutes but I had a career change.

Driving this amount of time allows me to decompress before I get home. So when I hit the door, I am ready for the night's tasks.

We own our home and will probably stay here as the cost of living is low and the taxs are absolutely less than a monthly mortgage payment. The bigger cities near us are Lubbock and Amarillo (90 minutes away each) and Albuquerque which is three and a half hours away (one way). There are times I do complain about the dairies out here (3,000 plus cows) on the way to and from work. It could be worse.

As far as moving further out I would try to find something closer in. Can you get a townhouse so that the commute is less? I don't live home (New Jersey) because of taxes and insurance and close proximity and the way ours lives are now. I enjoy the open space and seeing the stars at night in the sky. Wish there were mountains around me instead of flat or rolling hills.

The other S.

PS Hubby is retired and his commute is zero. When he worked he was a long haul trucker so he was all over the country.

My hubby had one that took over 45 min in rush hour...he lasted less then a year..he now commutes all of 6 min...awesome

It is about 30 minutes and I wouldn't want to live around here. Just not my kind of people.

My husband it can be anywhere from 30 minutes to 12 hours so moving for him is pointless. He does on site work. :)

I have a 20-minute commute, and my DH has a five minute one. I used to have one that was an hour, and I found one that was closer so that I could have children. Whenever there was an accident, it could take me 2-3 hours to get home, especially on a Friday afternoon.

I live near the Motor City. The car companies made sure there wasn't a good public transportation system decades ago.

I feel for those who work in NYC and want a home to raise kids. My husband's cousin takes public transportation, but his commute is 2 or 3 hours one way. I don't know how that works.

Best of luck to you.

You know about the taxes so you need to decide what you really want. You
would have to go to Putnam County for lower taxes. Then the commute
longer. Some folks are willing to sacrafice to have a house and property,
others are not and will not commute longer than an hour. My husband
communted from Northern Westchester for 30 years and it was never a
problem for us. Very individual decision.

My commute is about 150 feet. I work in a studio behind our house (corporate job... I'm not an artist). My husband's commute is 12 miles and it takes him about 16 minutes. We both LOVE LOVE LOVE our commutes, and that was a factor in why we moved to this city.

Previously, we lived in Washington DC where our commutes were awful. At one point, DH took the train into the city and spent about an hour. I drove 25 miles from one suburb to another and it took me 1.5 hours each way on a good day. It was soul sucking and I was not a happy person. I am so much happier now that I am not wasting time by myself in the car (or wondering whether the subway/train is going to be late or stop due to weather, etc.)

When I lived in the bronx and commuted to midtown it took an hour but have I got a monster commute for you... We now live in Orange County NY and when we first moved here (10 years ago) I did commute to the NYC midtown. It started out with a 40 to 50 minute drive then a 10 to 20 minute ferry ride THEN another 30 minutes on a train (metro north) from Ossining to Penn Station! Then a 10 minute walk to the office. Talk about killer commutes! And boy was I miserable! Now they have the Secaucus junction on Metro North this side of the river so it would be a 15 minute drive to the station and two trains to get into the city. Still can take 90 minutes.

I did this for about a month! Then took a MAJOR pay cut and found a job near by. If you live on the 'other' side of the Tappan Zee bridge the commute is going to be horrendous! Even the buses can take 2 hours to get into midtown. I gotta say the taxes I am sure are lower then Westchester.

My husband used to drive into Tarrytown from up here which took an hour. He did that for about 3 years or so until he crashed his car which helped push him to find a job thats 15 minutes away.

Map out the trip before you decide. Being alone in a house waiting for the spouse to show up can be nerve wrecking, I do it all the time and hes only 15 minutes away. With all the time spent commuting you spend the weekends doing everything else and never rest. My husband is like that he does this on his days off, its taken him 6 years to try a replace the bathroom shower doors and no they are still not done lol.

Honestly I would rather live in an apartment right now instead of a house. They tell you about the 'American dream' of home ownership but they dont tell you the 'other' stuff. Taxes, heating, repairs, maintenance, mowing, weeding, snow removal, home values dropping, etc... I keep asking my husband to move but his feet are planted firmly. (for the moment) I would rather a condo or multi family then a single home.

Good Luck!

My husband's commute is about 34 minutes, and that is only because he is able to go to work early to beat traffic. If he went in at a normal time, it would take an hour in traffic.

I am lucky to work in a closer suburb, but if I lose my job someday (always something to think about these days) I would probably end up getting a job in the city and have to commute 30-50 minutes.

We moved to a sub-suburb for the same reasons, more house/land for the money. BUT we are driving to the closest town (10 miles to a target/gro store) so often, that I wish we lived there. It will only get worse once school starts. I HATE living in the boonies!!

I love our house but wish we could pick it up and move it at least 20 minutes north!

I'm trying to imagine LESS than an hour's commute and failing miserably!

We've moved closer to my husband's work a few times... aaaaaaaaaaand each time he's ended up changing jobs w/in a few months. So when we bought our house, we bought close to where *I* was going to be (in school), and "the curse" struck, and I had to defer school for awhile. So close, yet so far! And then I needed to reup expired credits (darn hard sciences, with 3 year and 5 year expiration dates!!!), which meant I was NOT going to pay the university (that we live by) prices for class I can take for $500, instead. Of course, that's an hour's commute away.

Our city has no public transportation to speak of. I LOVED commuting by train (and one day, plan to again). I'm okay in the car (me time, listening to music)... but on the train one can actually READ, or watch a movie, or work, or do whatever (including changing into real clothes). It's "bonus" time. In fact, when I sell this house my HOPE is to move about 1 hour by train away from a city. I personally LOVE that commute. It's built in "me" time. When you're driving (or rather, when I'm driving), then I need added time on top of whatever the driving time is.

Traffic in Seattle is so bad that a "normal" commute is 45-60 minutes. A "short" one is 20. Heck, it takes many people in the city 20 minutes just to get to the grocery store or to drop the kids off at school if you have to go during the wrong time of day.

Obviously, the above is just my own personal preference.

Our commute is between 45 mins and an hour. When my husband had a 1.5 hour commute, it was terrible, even though it was a great job and he worked 4 10 hour days. I think it might have been different if he took public transportation, but that is just a theory.

Now, we feel like our school district is just so-so, maybe in a better district we would feel differently.

I have talked to other people and most people agree that a commute over an hour gets to be too much, but once again these are all people who drive to work.

I have heard that some people commute to NYC from Philadelphia. Have you thought of going in that direction?(I know it sounds crazy, and I know it is not Westchester, but you may like it). My friend who lives in the Phila area has such reasonable rates on car and health insurance, that he is second guessing a move to NJ to be closer to his work.

I used to commute from Astoria, Queens to Larchmont. Took about a half hour. Not a problem until I had my daughter. I then found the commute unbearable. I ended up buying an apartment in Mamaroneck. I'd rather live in an apartment close to work than a house with a long commute.

We live in Jackson nj and my husband commutes to Brooklyn. It takes him about an hour or so to get in and about 2 hours to get home. He has a company car so he drives. He is in sales so he doesn't have an office to go to and can usually go in whenever he wants. So he waits till there is no traffic to go in the morning. He says the commute doesn't bother him. I think it bothers me more than anything. I am a sahm and sometimes he doesn't get home until 7-7:30 because it takes him so long to get home. Which after being home with 2 kids all day seems like forever. But we have a beautiful home in an amazing neighborhood. He says that makes his commute all worth it, because he gets to come home to here. Although in your case since you are talking NYC I think public trans is the best case. I think it would be a total pain for him to drive in and out and park a car. Not to mention expensive. So if you can move out a little further but still take the train or bus then that's probably your best bet.

My commute is 30 miles, about 45 mins to an hour each way on an average day. Also costs me about $110 a month in tolls. Yes I hate the drive, have been doing it for almost 5 years. Hoping to find something closer to home in the next year!

My husband commutes from new Rochelle ny to jersey city everyday and it takes them about an hour and a half if hes home on time he would be home by 7pm if he works later he could be home after 10pm. He definately doesn't eat dinner with us most days and he wants to move further north like Valhalla which would make it even worst. He used to work in midtown which was more quilty of life but he got laud off and is glad to have a job. Good luck to you, I know how hard it is to live a by lifestyle very expensive and busy.

About 5 steps to get to our home office...for both of us!!! =) Although hubby is in sales so he drives a lot during the day depending on how many appointments he has set up. I sit on the couch and work on my laptop and watch TV until the kids come home...best commute EVER!!! =)

My commute is about 30 minutes and my husband is all over the place because he's in residential construction sales. My BIL and SIL moved out of our county to the next one over for "more house" (while still retaining their jobs in our county) and they now spend one to one and a half hours of driving both ways per day. Unfortunately, it's become a nightmare for them but they are quite stuck now as they also purchased at the height of the market and have lost 200k on their home.

Although I didn't get everything that I wanted in a house (namely more square footage), we went with a smaller home in an excellent family-oriented neighborhood w/ excellent schools and a city that is rated each year as one of the safest in the U.S. I would not give that up for a bigger house farther away for anything!!

The time it takes for us to walk from our bedroom to the home office.

We run our company from home. However, hubby is the one on the road for sales, etc and often flies out of DFW and Love Field plus drives all over the area for sales calls. No specific route daily. Today all he did was take daughter to school and we've worked from home.

Some days, less than 10 miles others may be 300 and some to the airport, fly then drive to destination.

My commute is over an hour each way -- about 30 miles each way in rush hour traffic, then another 30 minutes to loop around to pick up at daycare on my way home. In all I drive about 65 miles a day. My husband works at home and just takes my son to daycare then goes back home.

Honestly, it is hard. On one hand, it is the only "alone time" I get all day, but I feel like I am just throwing away hours and hours of my life in the car. Plus I am terrified of accidents so I get stressed about that.

My job is better than the one I had that was literally across the street from my house, but the commute is really crappy.