How Do You Do Shoping with a 2 Yo?

Yes, pack snacks but healthy ones, and never bribe snacks. Just things for him to eat if he's hungry. It's hard for anyone to be in a good mood when they're hungry.

Don't shop later in the afternoon if you can help it. Same thing. Tired = cranky.

YES be willing to leave if he won't mind you.

Never bribe. Never give in, or he'll learn a lot of the wrong kind of persistence! And he learns to misbehave till Mom and/or Dad gives him something. Sets you up for an arms race you can't win. Plus, they learn to do the right thing and be kind not for its own sake but just as a matter of what's in it for them.

Before you leave the house, and on the way before you go into the store, tell him what you're doing and what you're going to get (and what you won't be getting, like treats, toys, etc.). And tell him what behavior you expect.

And just avoid the aisles where the stuff is that he wants. Maybe hit those aisles when he's with Dad and stock up.

Keep talking to him, interacting in various ways. Show him interesting things. Make it fun for both of you without it having to be about who gets what, and about it being about getting stuff, and he'll start to enjoy it for the attention and love he gets, the games you play, etc. Ex, I once saw a father pushing the cart away just a little with his litle son in the seat, and saying, "now where to you think you're going? You come back here!" with a big smile on his face, son giggling. You get the idea :)

L.

Sometimes I'll go down the toy isle first and find something for my daughter to play with in the buggy while I shop. I also do the snack-thing. And, while in Wal-Mart, I can get an ICEE and it keeps her occupied.

The method I'm about to share worked wonders for my daughter, please forgive that I have just saved this email to copy in and that it may be written in a strange manner.

I also have a very headstrong daughter and this is what worked with her....Giving her choices. Many times children feel like they have no contorl over their lives, mom or dad tell them what to wear, when to eat, what to eat, etc. By giving the child choices, they feel like they are in control (when actually, you still are!). The key is to give 2 choices with each question (and ask as many as possible to give them more choices), either choice you are happy with.

Example:
When your daughter tells you she is thirsty, you say:
Would you like the red cup or the orange one?
Would you like juice or milk?
Would you like a lid or a straw?
Would you like to drink it in the kitchen or at the dining room table?

This works with discipline too...
When your daughter shows inappropriate behaviour, you say:
That behaviour is not acceptable in our home (or at church, or at the supermarket, etc.), would you like to spend 5 minutes time out in on your bed or in the dining room chair? If the child refuses to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Again, if they refuse to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Eventually they will see that the time is getting longer and longer and will choose.

The tough part is sticking with it in the beginning. When they refuse to choose (when it's not discipline) or try to give another option, you choose for them and STICK TO IT. This teaches them that if they won't choose from your options that you will take control back and choose for them. It won't take very long until they will choose because they will learn that if they don't you will choose for them and take the control away. If they refuse to choose (when it is discipline) you just keep upping the time and at some point you just stick with it so they will remember the next time that the punishment is worse if they don't choose.

My daughter is now 17 and a wonderful young lady, however, at 2 she was driving me crazy because she was so stubborn and strong willed. This method worked wonders on her, even in her potty training. These children won't do what you want them to do just because you want them to do it, they won't do it until they decide to do it and that can be quite frustrating!

Good luck!!!

I read in John Rosemond's "Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" (and "A Family of Value", wonderful book!) that if a parent bribes a child to behave well, the child will insist on a bribe to continue behaving well - in other words, the parent has been trained, not the child. Children actually do enjoy pleasing their parents, and praise is often enough for a child. A child won't change his bad behavior until HE is inconvenienced by it. I'm not saying pain and torture; just depriving them of something they want - like attention or a privilege - is enough to make them "suffer" if you recall being a child. :) Rosemond talks about some ideas for dealing with toddler misbehavior, like at the store, and it's very common-sense and parent - controlled. He recommends doing some dry-run shopping trips where you don't need to get anything, and you tell your child, "If you misbehave in the store, we will leave immediately and get nothing, and you will spend the rest of the day in your room." Then, as soon as he misbehaves, you do exactly that, very matter-of-factly and without any anger or the like, and no negotiation! And do this every time you go to the store. It's really like training pigeons - a Two will test limits because in his mind, he's the Great Poo-bah and HE determines what's what, not you, so when you set limits your job is to convince him (in a lovingly authoritative way) that YOU are the Great Poo-bah and he'll be happier once he accepts that. The "phase" will end when he's about three, give or take, but the unpleasant behavior will continue so long as you reward it with bribes. Good luck!!

My son always ask what kind of day it was went we went shopping. I had told him from the stated there were two types of days first the one he loved was a pay day, The other was a look day which mean do not ask for anything because you are not going to be able to get it. Maybe if you have a talk with him and sat down some rules for your shopping trips you can shop with peace. You should kept to your guns and just let the people talk if that is they choose, You need do to what is right for your son and teach him he can not also get what he wants , he will thank you later in life. I know it is hard to have people talk but if they will be honest with themselves they have all be there before. Beside who's approve to you really want your grown son when he gets there or people you will not see again more the likely.

All kids act out in the store, so often the people that are looking at you are thinking "I remember those days!" We have all been there. Snacks at the grocery store aren't the worst thing. The grocery store is probably one of the longest trips you will need to make with him each week (most other errand you can use drive through or be in and out rather quickly). I talk to my toddlers ALOT about what we are doing. It somewhat helps to keep them occupied. Of course then the people are looking at the lady babbling endlessly to her child! "Okay were looking for bread now, can you help me find the bread - Oh there it is that's the kind we like. Now we need bananas, lets look for a good bunch. . . " They can stay buckled in the cart and still point at items and answer your questions.

When i see someone's kid screaming, I usually think, "I'm glad it's not my kid this time." haha

I carry snacks and juice with me to the store. Actually, everywhere we go. There's no shame in it. If it keeps him calm, go for it.

I feel your pain! Good luck!

When my daughter was that age, I always brought snacks with me anywhere we went - kids that age burn through calories. I would bring peanut butter crackers and juice, or a little Tupperware bowl full of grapes - something healthy.
I also allowed her to bring one toy or book FROM HOME with her to play with or look at while riding in the cart. I don't believe in letting them play with the toys in the store while shopping. First of all, if she damaged it while playing with it, I would have to buy it. Second, by the time she would have played with it for an hour or longer while I was shopping, in her mind, it would have become hers, and having to leave it behind would have simply caused issues at the checkout.

He is not quite 2 not 12. Put him in the cart. DO NOT TAKE HIM OUT> when they want out you say " this is where little boys ride" and keep moving. You are the mommy. As for snacks. Of course. snacks and juice and whatever. Leting them play with something they see is fine. THe biggest thing is Preping them in the car on the way. Go over and over what you are doing and what they are to do. You say, we are going to reasors. we are going to buy food for the week. You will ride in the cart and mommy will get the food. You can help mommy pick some food. If you are hungry you can have a snack out of the bag. You can take a drink and so on. As he gets older you can say, we will look at toys but not buy. I use today is a look day or today is a buy day. I also have a price code. small toy ( under 3) medium under 10 and big 20 . We only had small and big when he was little. now he is 9 and still ask me these things. I still prep him. he rolls his eyes sometimes but he always knows what to expect. The times my little guy has screamed through the store etc, I can look back and see that i didn't prep him or we went during nap time etc.
Will people look at you if he screams, sure, who cares. you are training your child. i don't believe in leaving. That teaches them to throw a fit if they want to leave. They aren't aware of it but it becomes a part of their sub-concious and that is what happens.
Once I took my four year old through target with him screaming " I want the big toy" and shaking the cart. I finished my shoppping. This was a test of wills and I was going to win. One older lady said something to him and I told her, " Please don't, I'm sure you had to get your bluff in on your children. This is a test of wills and I will win. If I don't I"ll have this battle my entire life". She said. You are so right, Good for you for not giving in. Of course when we got home and he woke up (feel asleep in the car) there was a discussion and punishment. But he was finally calm, rested and able to talk to me. Good luck, this is one faze that will soon pass on to another. Enjoy it for they are big so soon.

I have no advice really, we have never had trouble with our son acting out in public, I mean, we sometimes get a bit of whining or some loud protests when we say no to exploring the toy aisle, but he knows I am not beyond taking him to the bathroom and spanking him. All I really have to say is, don't worry about how others are looking at you, he is your child, and if they don't understand children are not perfectly behaved all the time, then they have obviously never had children.

I was pretty lucky with my son. I gave him a cookie after we done our shopping. He was screaming a time or two. I would look in the toy area and find something that he could play with. um also with this. when we were done I would put it up somewhere or give it to the cashier. He might cry because he wanted that oy. but also he will learn that he can not always get the toy that he wants. The toy kept my son quite for the most part. but then this past year, he still wanted to do the scraming. I thought it was just a stage. When he done that some said. That is ADHD. hrmmph. I don't. I'll find out next month.
Or he you can let him help you shop. My boy likes that even now. But my son is pretty active, he doesn't want to stay with me he wants to explore.
I do apologize for going off topic a bit. But i wanted to let you konw what helped me with my son
and if anyone else had kids who might have the symptons of adhd and did not have it or if they do have it.
Best of luck to you.

i am the mother to a very active imaginative 2 y.o. and 12 y.o. myself. i found that if in the grocery store we hit the isle with the gummy snacks, and i let him pick out a box that he can snack on through the store, or if it is a store like walmart, we head to the toy isle and pick out a toy that we are not buying, and he can't hurt (usually like a guitar or something that makes noise) and he plays until we check out or he gets tired of it and the it is returned. or on some days, i let him walk beside me pushing the cart or his stroller to "help" making games or allowing him to assist in picking out products. it doesn't always work, and i have found for most other shoppers, they have had children too, and understand the challenge that it can present. good luck in finding what works for you.

J., I take my 2 and 1/2 year old grandson on short shopping trips. When he's with me, he knows what "Don't bother means". I take time to go slow enough, allowing him time to look at things he finds interesting. We Oooo and Awwww and talk about the things he has at home that are like what he's looking at. We name things and move on. It's usually a short trip when I'm just going for a few things. You may want to try shorter trips at a time when he's rested. Talk to him before hand about how you want him to act. Pray with him and ask the Holy Spirit to help him stay calm and enjoy the trip. I've raised four, 2 girls, 2boys. I took them everywhere with me and didn't bribe them to behave. You shouldn't have to do that. I know you're a good Mommie and parenting is not easy. So lean on the Lord. He'll send every angel in heaven to help you and your "little man" if need be so you're not overcome.

http://www.babycenter.com/toddler

http://www.babycenter.com/toddler-behavior-problems

1. I think it's fine to take your child to a Mothers-Day-Out type program or to hire a babysitter for a couple of hours even if it's one time a week. Every person in the world needs some alone time. Shopping can be done in a much shorter time without kids.

2. If you really want to take your child then have a plan on what to do if they act up.

I have walked through Wal-Mart so many times with my 5 yr. old having a temper tantrum because we can't afford a new Barbie that I am getting used to it. Just let me say, when K has a temper tantrum every person in my county knows it because they can hear her!!!LOL. She has a set of lungs on her. I just keep walking, I talk to her as if nothing is going on, like...aren't those flowers pretty?, what's next on the list?, etc...she calms down eventually, even if it might be a half hour later.

We took a Love and Logic class and learned a lot about handling behaviors. We tell K (5) what we expect of her before you go in the store, the rules are short, just a few words like "you will stay with me or get in the cart". Let them know the consequences of their actions, we use questions such as "what happens if you don't stay with me?" the answer...I have to get in the cart. Just this week she ran off from me while on Spring Break in OKC. They had to call a Code Adam on her. An employee found her wandering around in another section of the store. She is grounded from playing Barbie's for the rest of the week. With J (27 months) it is a bit different. He doesn't have the ability to associate the same as K. We have a plan that if he is acting up while shopping...he must leave the store. I continue the shopping or my husband does. The other one of us take him to the car. He has to get in his car seat, he can have a drink but it isn't play time, reward time, special time or anything like that. My husband usually reads. If I am alone I have a friend who is "on call" in case I need her to come get J and she takes him to my car.

It really is hard to use time designated for a specific task when kids have other ideas. You can schedule teaching time another time. Perhaps when you are just running in for a gallon of milk or something. Not when you are doing the weekly/monthly shopping.

My son knows that there are positive and negative consequences. So his choices are made clear to him before we enter the store: good behavior yields chocolate milk and bad behavior yields nothing. Why nothing? Because the expecation is that he will behave. The chocolate milk is just a reward.
Whenever I have to take my 3yo, we carry an empty sippy cup. He holds it and he knows that when we get to the milk, if he has been good (not more than 3 warnings), he can have a chocolate milk. I make sure to go through the grocery store so that the milk is at the end of my list. I get the small chocolate milk that will only fill the sippy cup 2-3 times. I open it up right there and give him his first cup.
We started this at about 20 months, and now it's just "our thing." I have only had two times (once in Target and once in the grocery) that he did not earn his reward. He cried when both times, but since it was at the end of the trip, I didn't have to endure too many of the looks and stares. I have never had to leave the store, and never had to walk through the store with a screaming child.
At the end of the day the chocolate milk is gone, but my sanity is in tact!
Good Luck!

Well I certainly understand your frustration. First I would say nix on the cookies and candy. The sugar factor, if nothing else, serves to increase unwanted behaviors. Second - yes it is a phase, and leaving and going back later is best way to handle it. I did that many times. Try shopping at a time Dad can babysit, or swap off with another mom. If you don't have a mommy and me group, perhaps you could get one started - it's easy to do and you will meet women who share your frustration. I have been known to let my "darling" little daughter on the floor of the grocery store when she pitched an almighty fit one day (she was 3) and I walked away to the next aisle (about 10 feet from where she was), keeping my eye on her from around the corner. I was ready to grab her if need be. It worked - she realized no one was paying attention and stopped whereupon I immediately went to her, hugged her and told her "No more". I must admit it was embarrassing but you have to let go of the "what will people think" mindset. They have all been through it and empathise with you. Good luck hon - hope this helps.

Hello. I take my 1 year old and 3 1/2 year old shopping all the time. I dont know how I got lucky but my kids love shopping. Now when they were little I would take a couple toys in with me so they would be distracted. My little girl used to scream and I would let her. I had to do my shopping and I couldnt leave them at home. She would quit after a little bit. I would sing to her or just say shhhhh alot. Maybe take hime after nap time. When he is refresed and ready for something new. Always take them after they have ate or they are going to want food and be cranky for that. Just a couple ideas.
I work at home so we dont get out as much as possible. So the kids love it when we go out. Good luck

S..
http://www.always4myfamily.com

My girl wants to walk in walmart(her dad started this,he goes in for one thing so thats ok but i dont) and i dont want her to walk because i cant get groceries and watch her so i found a monkey that is a back pack and the tail is long with a loop in it to hang on to. And i told her the only way she well walk is with the monkey or ill put her back in the cart and we wont buy a new book. She loves books! And she knows this or well leave. So be firm it works for me you just have to find that thing and go with it befor the monkey is was a scream feast. Good luck!