How Do You Change a Bedtime Routine?

Hi, please dont take offense to my opinion. but I dont think u are supposed to put kids to bed w/a bottle...milk or juice.. I believe that is one of the reasons they get teeth rot. the liquids can sit and rest too long on their teeth and break down the enamel.(again I think) I dont know if you child has teeth yet, but this may be a bad habit...
My experience was similar...my daugher nursed and fell asleep nursing on me, then i put her in crib.. They get comfortable & used to us.
I think u will have to do the crying thing...let him cry it out. this is what i had to do....verrrryy tough.. though it took a week or so, and each night she cried less... Give him the bottle. Rock him gently for a short time then put in crib... maybe put some music on to sooth him(my daugher now listens every night to a cd and she is now 3). Go out of the room so you cant hear(or far enough away that it isnt so bad & look at your watch. It is amazing how long it seems when only 5 mins have passed when they cry. I let my daugher cry for about 15mins. If it was longer than taht or she was hysterical I would go in & rub her back. I did it every night, and the length of the cryin lessened each night. Its ok if the cry for 5-10mins. It will wear them out a bit.
hope this helps, good luck, again, this is my opinion & my experience.

ALOS...does he need to be burped still after the bottle? just a thougt.

This is a very hard question because the same thing doesn't work for every child. Do not put a bottle in the crib unless you forever want to hear it from your doctor. Try hard not to give a pacifier because then you'll only have to break that habit later (that's where we are). Here is what worked for us.

With our first child (son)we did the let him cry for five minutes routine. Those were the longest five minutes of my life. It was five minutes out of the room, two minutes in, five minutes out, two minutes in, etc. When you are in the room you aren't supposed to talk, just rub his back, hug him, kiss him, but DO NOT TAKE HIM OUT OF THE CRIB. It only took 2 nights for my son to lay there himself.

With our daugther, we tried the method and it did not work. Our son cried a lot, our daughter hyperventilated. Seriously. On day five I figured it was not working so we changed it to tailor her needs. When she finished her a bottle, put her in the crib and stayed for five minutes, left for two, in for five etc. It took us a few weeks to get her to soothe herself to sleep.

The key thing to do is not to take him out of the crib again once he is in. Do whatever you need to to comfort him without lifting him up. Trust me, it is way easier said than done, but when he can put himself to sleep it will be well worth it.

Change it as quick as you can. We did that we my first son (he is now 9) and sometimes we still need to lay with him til he falls asleep. My other two children (7 and 2) i just put in the crib and they know how to put themselves to sleep. It will be hard in the beginning but let him cry it out. A little more each night until he learns. They are creatures of habit and eventually he will get into the routine. Good Luck!

Hi C.,

Whatever you do to change your baby's bedtime routine, please do not put him to bed with a bottle. Every medical authority recommends against this. I'd suggest doing away with the bedtime bottle, give him some milk in a cup and wipe his teeth, then have some rocking/cuddle/song/story time and settle him in his crib. He is at the age where it is appropriate for him to learn to fall asleep on his own, but it is a learned skill and not something that he will automatically do the first time you try.

Good luck in making this transition.

M.

The most important thing is consistancy. NO matter what you try, be sure to do it for 4 full weeks before trying anything else. Also, never allow a child to go in their crib with their bottle. They can get "bottle rott" which will give their teeth problems for years, they should never fall asleep with milk in their mouth or laying down.
Good luck!

hi C., i am not that good adviser but wanna try lying down with your son while feeding him until he gets sleep deeply... you're getting too much attached to your son which is sometimes not good for both of you.... i understand that how you love to be attached to your child.... just try it... Good luck!

I have heard and I agree that it's not such a good idea to put baby in crib with bottle. In order to teach babies to fall asleep on their own, put him in the crib after you give the bottle but before he is totally asleep, (when he's drowsy). The baby might cry at first but in order to establish this as a new routine, just stick with it. If he cries to where you need to go in there and comfort him (if you dont want to let him cry it out), just go in and rub his back or sing a lullaby and talk to him and tell him everythings okay, its bedtime, go to sleep, I'll be right out here...but try not to pick him up. That was the advise I was given and it worked for me. Because I remember being in the same spot, ready to start a new bedtime routine after having had the baby fall asleep in my arms every nioght too. The first night I did this she cried for like 10 minutes and I was just about to give in and go get her when she started settling down. Each night she would cry less and less, after a week she went to sleep on her own. Good luck

I have read a bunch of responses, so the bottle part is covered.
I think the key to your question is routine...do the same thing each night. A warm bath, a story or lullaby, and off to bed with music playing.
He will adjust but it will take time. It will be worth it.
Good luck.

Rock him in your arms with the bottle till it is half full, then set him down maybe?

If you can try to eliminate the bottle when falling asleep altogether...hard routine to break, I've been there.

I don't think crying it out is good for babies - or moms, for that matter, so whatever works gently is best. The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (many libraries have it as well as bookstores) has some great suggestions in it.

Hi Christine, my name is G. and i have a 9 mo old daughter and u sounded exactly like me about 2 months ago! I was rocking her to sleep with a bottle every night and putting her in crib everynight after she fell asleep, then i would go downstairs and do what i had to do to clean up etc... i would be going to bed later and later which i was not happy about so i figured i would give her the bottle everynight in crib and let her put her self to sleep, have to be honest cried for the first week or so after she finished bottle, but i stuck to it and probably after about 5-7 days she stopped and realized i wasnt coming back into the room. So since then i have stuck to the same exact routine which is very important to do, we have play time with daddy from about 7-8pm, then we go upstairs i give her a bath, put her right into pj's get bottle and put her right into crib and i do not go back into room and she ahs learned to put herself to sleep! I know its hard to listen to them crying, and it wasnt easy for my husband who has to get up early for work, but it really worked, just have to have patience and give it time! He will realize mommy is not rocking him or coming back in room to hold him! It worked for me and i hope it works for you, keep me posted and good luck!

I agree with much of the advice you've already received...whether you believe in letting your child cry or not is your personal parenting decision; however, you MUST be consistent & patient. My son, now 13 months old has never been a good sleeper since birth & if you'd let him, he'd cry for hours. I do believe the key is to teach them to fall asleep on their own & to have a bedtime routine. For the last month or so, since we've developed & stuck to a routine (I know it seems late to sleep train at 1 yr. old, but we've been living in a one bedroom apt. from birth-6 mos. & in renovations & chaos from 6 mos.-1 yr.), we've had much success & he falls asleep on his own every night...most nights without any crying whatsoever! His aunt gave him a toy that attaches to the crib that plays music & lights up (I think it's from Fisher Price...crib aquarium?) that he loves...sometimes I hear him playing with it first thing in the morning or when he wakes in the middle of his nap & then falls back asleep! Basically, just don't give up...you'll find a way to get him to sleep & they can learn to change their habits if you stick with it! Good luck & P.s. definitely try not to let him fall asleep with a bottle (after my son's bedtime bottle, we actually rinse his mouth/brush his teeth with a finger brush before he goes into the crib).

Do not put your child to bed with a bottle. If you put milk in it the milk will eventually rot his teeth.
I has the same problem with my son about sleeping in the crib alone.
Put him in bed let him cry for a minute, next night 2 minutes, next evening 3 minutes and so on and so forth until he goes to sleep alone.

You will eventually make it thru, my son is now 12.

Good Luck

My oldest would always fall asleep when he was breastfeeding and then scream when he would get put down or if I put him down before he was asleep he would scream.

What worked for me was to put him down and stay next to the crib and stroke his head until he went to sleep, which usually wasn't long. After about a week, I'd stroke his head for a few minutes then tell him I'd be back in a few minutes, I would go back and stoke his head for a minute or so. Gradually make your time in between going back in longer, I started with about 5 minutes). Before long, you can just put him to bed and leave right away.

As far as a bottle in bed, my daughter went to bed with one and alway screamed when she was done or would wake up in the middle of the night to look for it. We gave her just a little bit of formula in her bottle,started with half then put in less and less and once we were down to an ounce we took it away completely at night. There is no easy way to do it, he will get over it. Don't substitue a pacifier or you will only have the same problem.

Good luck
T.

A good book is The No Cry Sleep Solution. She has lots of great ideas. The trick is to STICK with one of them. A few thoughts...don't leave the bottle with him. That's not a good health practice...teeth damage, choking, etc. Also, maybe you should try to continue with your previous practice and then once he is beginning to drift off to sleep, almost asleep in your arms, V E R Y slowly put him into the bed. The goal is to have him be ever so slightly awake while you do this, but drowsy. Stay nearby, shush him quietly, then let him be. Maybe this will work. The idea is that you are teaching him to get to sleep by himself. If this doesn't work, I'd definitely get that book. Does he sleep through the night very well once he is down? Letting him cry for very long is a hard thing to do and I don't think that teaching someone to sleep has to begin that way. There are lots of kinder options to try first. But be consistent and firm.

First and foremost you should never leave a bottle in a crib at bedtime. I've been trying to change my son's routine lately and have been reading the book, "The no-cry sleep solution" so far I've found it very helpful. Good luck!

Well from experience, I never put my kids to bed with a bottle unless it only had water in it. If you give them formula or milk in their bed time bottle it can be bad for their developing teeth. But with the crying, I think he just needs more time to adjust to the new routine. It isn't a bad thing, he will learn to calm himself and put himself to sleep eventually. Just be strong! Good luck.

Most doctors and books recommend that you don't put baby to bed with a bottle - bad for their teeth. Why not try to do the bottle earlier on in the evening - before teeth brushing, and make the bed time routine more about snuggling, rocking, reading books together, etc.? We started doing this with our son around 12 months (when we started transitioning from bottles and to sippy cups). Up until that point, we did the bottle, rocking to sleep routine. Now, at 16 months, we read some books and rock to wind down and then put him in his crib while he is still awake. He falls asleep by himself without any problem (as long as he has his favorite little blankie:) He also has a pacifier that he falls alseep with, but it falls out once he's alseep and we've never had a problem with him waking up crying for it or anything like that. I think as they get older and more independent, it becomes about finding those things/activities that make your child feel comfy and secure so they have the tools they need to take care of their own needs...and I've found that they can surprise you with how easily they adapt! It's usually harder on mom and dad:) Good luck!

I did the same thing with my two older children and my eight moth old as you. My whole theory is they are only little enough to fall asleep in your arms for a little while. With my two older children, I went from rocking them to sleep with their bottle until they were about one,to letting them lay on the couch or their sleeping bag on the floor until they fell asleep. I then would wake them up just enough to let them know it was time to go to bed and I would carry them to bed. this lasted until they were about 3, but they were always asleep by 9:00 (which works for my schedule). My older children are now 7 & 5 and they go up to bed every night with no problems. I am sure some parents might not agree with my way, but it worked for me and my kids!!!! I really enjoyed the bedtime bottle and the baby falling asleep in my arms. For some working moms this is a very valuable bonding time. It is just mom and baby. ENJOY IT!!!!!!

Putting him to bed with a bottle is prob. not a good habit to get into. It can lead to tooth decay.

He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own, which is a hard thing to learn. I am not a fan of the cry it out method, so we made it work for us. I would nurse our LO and put him in his crib awake. He would flip out, of course. I stayed by his crib for a few minutes till he calmed down. Then I would sit in the rocker in his room to let him know I was there, I didn't abandon him, but he needed to go to sleep.

I gradually moved the chair towards the door until I was able to leave the room all together. It took over a week. Now, if he whines and winges a bit, I am able just to pat his back a bit, walk out, and from the hall tell him it's night night time.

Hope that helps,

Jenn S.

My twins went through that. Fought sleep. They out grew it by a year. Eventually thy would just passs out and go to sleep.

Immediately stop giving the bottle in the crib! This has been proven to be bad for baby's teeth. It is probably also the source of the crying...due to gas. He can't sit up to burp on his own yet.

Here's what I did with my son: each night I would hold/rock him while he took the bottle. I would let him finish and burp him. just before he would be asleep, I would put him in his crib. He would cry or wimper a little, I would just pat or rub his back (he was a side sleeper).

It is working wonders for my daughter as well.

when you change a routine, change one thing at a time (for example, the time the routine starts...I made it a little earlier each day, over about a week, until the desired time), once that is complete and consistant, then change another.
I did this approach with him when he changed to a sippy cup. I would give him the bottle, with a little less formula in it each day. when he finished it, I would give the cup. at first he refused, but then he realized he wasn't getting the amount he was used to and finally took it with no problems.

Good luck.

He may be young; but is the bottle for comfort or hunger? You may try to change your bedtime routine completely by cuddleing, reading stories and quiet him that way. My son is 30 and that worked for us starting at 10 months.

Are you trying to get him to go to sleep on his own?
I wouldn't put him to bed with a bottle though, it can cause tooth decay, the sugar from the milk or fomula stays on their teeth. What about feeding him elsewhere, then brusing teeth, reading a story, then rocking till drowsy. It may take a few nites of crying but he should get better and start to fall asleep on his own. I hate trying to sleeptrain, it is so stressful! Good Luck!

C.
Mommy to Jessie (9), Katie (7) and Julia (2 ½)
www.TimetoChangetheDiapers.com
Adorable, affordable cloth diapers and reusable items for babies, kids and Moms!

I agree with everyone; do not put the baby to sleep with a bottle. I had a hard time putting my son down too. The doctor told me to let him cry for a full 15 minutes; these 15 min. felt like 15 hrs! However, at the 15th minute, I swear, there would be silence; I would then go to check in on him and, sure enough, he would be sleeping! Also, what worked before that (which I didn't want to do anymore), was I would sit in the hallway (he could see me), and then slowly, I would crawl away. Good luck!!

After the usual qualifications about how every baby is different, this is what I sometimes do with my 8 month DD that you can try: I lay her down on my bed, lay down next to her, and give her a bottle (with lights off of course). Sometimes she holds the bottle, sometimes I do. But this way I can take it out when she's finished. (I don't think it's a good idea to leave a bottle in a baby's mouth unsupervised.) Laying down next to her on the bed gives her the comfort she needs so she doesn't freak out about being left alone. But laying her down on the bed also gets her used to not having to be in my arms and rocked to sleep all the time. After your son gets used to laying down on the bed on his own, you can transition him to laying down in his crib on his own. (Oh, and in case it's not clear, I always move DD to her crib from my bed once she's asleep -- never let baby sleep on a bed without railings!)

I definitely would not recommend putting him in his crib with his bottle. Studies show this is not very good for developing teeth and ear infection risks increase as well.

My son will be 11 months at the end of this week and though he is down to three 8oz bottles of formula a day I still hold him for his evening bottle before bed. I used to wait until he is asleep before putting him to bed but recently I have changed that.

Our routine goes like this: First he gets a nice warm bath and then we put him in some comfy PJ's. Then he has his evening bottle as I am holding him. After he finishes that we go around and say goodnight to Daddy and the kitties. Then I take him upstairs, turn on some soft music and put him in his crib with his Elmo. At first he we cry for a while when I did this but now he is used to the routine and will usually lie down, play with Elmo for few minutes and fall asleep.

The best thing I can recommend is consistancy. Though he may cry for a time, after a while he will associate activities with bedtime and things will calm down.

Good Luck!