Rocking the Baby to Sleep

I am of the thought what ever it takes is good. When you can't rock her try patting her back or laying next to her. My kids loved to fall asleep in a swing, car ride , or any movement. I know you can't do that all the time but she will find her own routine to go to sleep. Just keep trying new things to see what works. My 5 year old still asks once in a while to rock him to sleep I love & cherrish those times. Good luck

We did the same thing! What we did was start laying her down and I would place my hand on her chest and sing to her. She got use to that, then I would just sing, then just lay her down. It worked for us, but it was a slow wean process, I would say over a month or so. Good luck. : )

Try "the baby whisperer" method - you can read the blogs online - she has some very good, easy methods that you can use without the cry it out method - effective without the trauma for both of you... goodluck!

She is only 6 months old, why change it her sleeping habits will naturally change as she gets older. My mother in law who takes care of my little 2 year old does this as well and she loves it. It is a wonderful time to bond. I myself would always lie down with my little one for naps. Now sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. Don't worry, there is no need to stop it and as she gets older she won't always have to have you rocking her to sleep. I say do it for as long as possible because those are the most rewarding and wonderful times to have with your child.

S., you're doing great at making a happy baby, one who is confident that you're going to respond to her needs. What's wrong with rocking your baby? There will come a time, when you won't even be able to hug her because she runs away... enjoy the rocking, enjoy the bonding, the warmth. The important thing is routine. From the time he was born, I rocked/held my little boy as he started to get ready for sleep, then sang a short lullaby or prayer, kissed his forehead, said "good night I love you" and put him down. When he started the separation anxiety phase, I'd have to stay with him a little bit longer after he laid down, or I'd have to pick him back up a couple of times, but I alwasy then went through the motions again starting at the kiss, and put him down. When he understood that I would be there to get him if he really needed me, we didnt' have any more problems.
Remember, routine, and then stick with it. No need to let her cry it out just yet... she's still too young to understand that you'll be back, and feelings of abandonment are no good.

You're doing an amazing job meeting your little girl's needs!! I did the same thing, and co-sleep with my son. I think it was about 8 or 9 months old, when I started the transition him from rocking to sleep only because I knew I needed to go back to work.

I let my son sleep on my bed, but I think you could probably do the same kind of thing with crib. But, don't rush it! My son would cry every time I put him down and I would not let him cry at all.

I began by rocking him a bit until drowsy, and then would lay down with him in bed and explain it was naptime and he was a big boy. I would rub his back, we introduced a lovey later (you could try that when you're ready) and just talked and soothed him. After a few months, he was falling asleep laying down on my bed...not I didn't still rock him to sleep some days if he needed me to...heck he's 2 and I still rock him when he needs love and comfort. It's really more about meeting your child's needs than worrying about timelines or what other people think.

You sound like a really loving and caring Mommy, and you are doing a great job! Keep up the good work and it will come naturally, when your little girl is ready for the change it will happen overtime.

The old saying always comes to mind, 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'.

Best wishes!

6 months is still young enough to help going to sleep. They do eventually give you the clues that they are ready for more independance as they get older. My boys are just about 5 & 8. We can at times just put them in bed and they go to sleep now. Most of the time we do sit with them though. We don't mind and it gives us quiet time with them. Please don't torture your child with Cry it Out!
Both my boys nursed to sleep for ages, then when they weaned I rocked them to sleep, then when they got to big for that I would lie down with them or sit on the rocking chair beside the bed and it's not "ruined" either of their abilities to finally sleep on their own.
I plan to do nothing different for my third that's on the way.
When they are physically, mentally and emotinally ready they will move on the the next step and finally be sleeping totally on their own.

I've always rocked and sang my children to sleep. My four yr old still enjoys me singing to him at bed time. And he can go to sleep on his own as well. They are only small for so long. You need to do what is right for you. But what a great way to fall asleep. That is actually my favorite time to sit and enjoy them too. Every child is different, and that goes for the parents as well. I've seen some self soothing....childing sitting rocking itself. I like my way. But there is different strokes for different folks.

i heard GREAT things about the no-cry sleep solution book. i'm not that big of a reader, so haven't read it myself. but i did rock my kids to sleep and it always seemed to work. they eventually didn't need the rocking on their own. just let her tell you what she needs. :)

Hi S., kudos to you for rocking your baby to sleep, I know a lot of moms don't believe you should do that, I totally dissagree, I am 51 years old had 3 kids and rocked tghem all to sleep for nap time and night time, well pasy 6 months old, I rocked them as toddlers as well how ever they didn't need to fall asleep, they just wanted the sings and the cuddle time, then we tucked them in read a story prayed with them. all 3 of out babies slept through the night from 6 weeks on, and I can honestly say that we never had any of the sleep issues with out babies/kids that we are all reading about in the mamasource conversations, so rock your your baby as long as you want to and as long as she needs to, and let me tell you one more thing some of my most treasured memories with my babies was holding them and singing and rocking them to sleep, S. it is priceless. J. L.

the phylosophy behind putting your baby down without rocking is that your baby is to learn to self soothe or to fall asleep on their own as a learned skill. You may be suprised to find that CIO may not be as bad as you anticipate. You are not harming your baby, you are helping her learn to be a good sleeper. Its not like CIO requires you to just leave them there to cry for an hour. You can still be in the room, talk sweet, or rub her back. But hey, if you want to rock her till she's grown out of it, knock yourself out! Its recomended to start your baby falling asleep on thier own from the newborn stage on so that its not a change for them. But you can make the switch whenever you feel your ready, the older they are the harder the change will be.

I totally agree with you - I am NOT a fan of the cry-it-out method. I think it makes babies feel insecure. Mine used to begin to panic and of course, that made everything worse. So I never tried it again. I think it's all about temperament. Some babies are great at "getting out their last frustrations" by just crying a little, and it works. I wish I had one of those! But I think others need that soothing. I really wouldn't worry - I think the natural progression will take place when you and she is ready - just keep trying every now and then. She'll let you know.
Best of luck,
M.

Hey S.,

My daughter just naturally grew out of being rocked to sleep. I absolutely don't agree with CIO method. Probably around a year old she started fighting against being rocked, she just wanted put in her crib. If you make her nursery and her crib a positive, safe, calming environment it will be some place that she feels secure in and she won't always need you to make her secure and comfortable by rocking her. If you force her to cry it out I think that makes her bedtime, her room, and her crib, something that she dreads. Just my opinion, but like I said, my daughter grew out of being rocked, it was never something that I had to "wean" her of, it was a natural progression. We attempt to rock her still every night, but most nights she just points to her crib. When she's not feeling well or is just in a huggy mood we might get to rock her for a minute or two, and we treasure those moments now!! My only suggestion is to rock her 'til she's really relaxed and almost asleep but not totally asleep then lay her down. I did this with my daughter. If she cries when laid down, you pick her back up and rock her to almost asleep again and lay her down. Sometimes I would have to do this five or six times, but they will fall asleep eventually in the crib. It takes a little dedication in the beginning, but it forces them to fall asleep in the crib by themselves while never abandoning them while they are crying for you. After about a week, my daughter was fine with being laid down while still awake, and like I said, from that point she just naturally grew out of the rocking.

Get an electric rocking chair... It work for me...big time!!

Dear S., the sooner the better! She needs to learn how to self-soothe and get herself to sleep. Sleeping is a life skill that she needs to to by herself. If you are always helping her then you are robbing her of an opportunity to comfort herself. These are coping skills that she will use throughout her life, not just for sleep. I know she cries if you just lay her down but any child will resist when you are trying to change a behavior or habit. Crying is not bad, too often we think if they are crying then they are hurting. She will be fine, she just hasn't learned any coping skills yet, she NEEDS to cry in order to figure out what she can do to comfort herself. Don't be afraid of crying. For right now, it's the only way she knows until she learns other ways. And the only way she will learn other methods is if you give her the time and space to do so.
Good Luck
K. Smith- Sleep Consultant and Parenting Coach
www.theindependentchild.com

If it something you enjoy... keep doing it. Why stop? I had a HUGE nap/night routine for my older son. It turned from rocking and a cd of music to a reading a book, prayers a couple songs and tickling his back. He's 3 1/2 and I love our quiet time together. I had people tell me to stop doing it, I tried and he cried too. I felt that I would rather give him love and snuggles than hear him cry before bed. Good luck to you... follow your instints... not one everyone else says to do!

Hi S., I remember wondering the same thing sometimes while rocking my baby to sleep with her bottle. I worried about how I would switch the nighttime routine as she got too old for bottles and what I would do when she got too big to lie horizontally in my arms... It seems these things just begin to evolve naturally, so my worry was for nothing. My daughter is 18 months now, and our current routine is read 3 or 4 books in the rocking chair, then lay her down in the crib and she falls asleep there. I can't remember how we went from cradling and singing her to sleep with a bottle to sitting up reading books. It just slowly happened. We followed the baby's lead. I wouldn't worry, when the time is right things will slowly go in the direction that is right for your little one (and unconsciously guided by you to suit your needs as well). There is no right way to do this stuff, just keep doing what your little one seems to need to fall asleep. Don't question it if it works for you.

Hi S.,

Don't change a thing!! You can hold and rock a child as long as you want to!! Independence is a long process. I didn't start encouraging my kids to go to sleep on there own until they were 4 or 5 and then I still stayed until they went to sleep when I tucked them in! Doesn't it feel good to hold her until she falls so sound asleep? Don't let anyone tell you what you NEED to do! Do what works for you and your baby and I think what you are doing sounds great!! Remember we only have 18 summers with our kids then they head out:( All the best!

Smiles,
S.

I agree with the idea of enjoying the sweet, intimate time while it lasts. My girl is 17 months and we only started "sleep training" at 14 months, and are glad we did it but also glad we waited. What we did was to still have the routine of reading a book while rocking, then putting her on our shoulder and singing one or two songs while rocking and then putting her into the crib while still awake but drowsy. It was a good compromise because she got some comfort and sweet cuddling but then she had the independence of falling to sleep on her own. At my daughter's age, it took a couple weeks, but at your daughter's age, it probably would only take a day or two. We also did the returning every 10-15 minutes thing to soothe and put her back down. It was horrible to hear her cry but it was amazing to listen to her put herself to sleep. Now she talks to herself for 5 minutes and then drifts off to sleep. Also, at night, when she is awoken by a dream or whatever, she will cry for 5 minutes but put herself back to sleep. It is heaven for all of us to have a full night's sleep and to have easier nap times...

5 minutes isn't a big deal. You can cut down on the rocking time slowly and just sing the song. I wouldn't worry about doing it any time soon though. It will probably change organically as she gets older anyway. Just cherish your five minutes of snuggling for as long as you can. :)

I would just enjoy your routine. They grow up so fast and before you know it, she won't sit still for you to rock her anymore. We rocked and read to our little one for months. She is now 11 months and goes to bed just fine on her own after a few books and a hug. One thing that worked for us was getting her attached early on to a lovey. She has a sock monkey that goes to bed with her at naps and nighttime. She gets excited to get into bed to see and play with her monkey.

It will happen naturally. One day she won't fall asleep after 15 minutes, and then you can just try to lay her down in her crib. There might be some protest though. I did the same with my son, who is almost one. I held him and sang to him and danced around the room. When he was very little, he would almost fall asleep and I would lay him down in his crib with his blanket. As he got older, there was no falling asleep and so I would just lay him down when I could tell he was getting sleepy. Sometimes there was a bit of fussing, but I would just reassure him that he is just going to sleep and I would rub his back. Eventually, they will get it that they are safe and that you will be coming back. I didn't want my child to fear his crib and I absolutely wanted him to feel safe, but at the same time I didn't want him to need me there with him to fall asleep. I know a lot of mom's don't agree with that, but I had 2 children and a deployed husband and I didn't have the luxury of rocking my baby to sleep for an hour to make sure he was sound asleep. I know I did something right, because now when it is bed/naptime, we read books on his floor for a good 15 minutes until I can see he is sleepy, I then sing a few songs in the dark as I rock him in my arms, then I ask him, "Would you like to go in your crib now for sleep?" He always reaches for his crib and even waves goodbye to me. I can tell that he feels secure, but at the same time doesn't fear being alone in his room. If he ever cries, I just go back and reassure him.

ONe suggestion I have is to start giving her a small blanket that smells like you. I wore a blanket in my bra for a day so it soaked up my scent, and he latched on to that thing like glue. He sleeps with every sleep time now and I believe it makes him feel very secure. We only use it for sleep times, so it is like a cue for him that it is time to fall asleep.

I would also suggest the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Best of luck to you!

My advice is to break the rocking to sleep asap it will be a lot easier to do at 6 months than 18 months. I have a friend who rocked her little girl for years and even at 10 years old the child is not a good sleeper and relies on her mother to sooth her to sleep instead of being able to selfsooth. A few nights of crying now is much easier than years of interupted nights. Good luck

I really like the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child". I got mine when my oldest was a newborn. He is now almost 4 and we have a 19 month old daughter. I still refer back to it every so often when sleep issues happen with either of my children just to refresh my memory.

We use the Cry It Out Method after trying a few other things first. There is nothing wrong with letting your baby cry for a few minutes. We aren't talking hours of crying here, just a few minutes.

With my son I would rock him and sing a few songs to him and then lay him in his crib drowsy or awake for the night starting at about 4 months. He learned to fall asleep on his own. Right at 4 months he started to sleep 12 hours at night on his own so that is when I started to "sleep train him".

With my daughter she started sleeping 12 hours at night at 3 months, so that is when we started sleep training her.

Now at almost 4, my hubby puts my son to bed. They will read a book or two, sing songs, pray, or just talk for about 10 minutes in my sons bed. He gets put to bed between 730 and 830 (830 if he took a nap during the day, 730 if he didn't take a nap) and he knows he is not allowed to come out of his room. He can either read or play very quietly in his room, but he is to stay in his room and go to sleep.

At 19 months, I will rock and give my daughter a milk bottle at about 630pm for about 20 minutes. She then tells me "No" when she is done and gives me her bottle. I burp and rock her and talk to her for a few more minutes and then put her in her crib fully awake. She falls asleep on her own.

There have been and are nights where my kids fight going to sleep on their own and have had to cry it out until they fell asleep. They are totally fine, happy, well adjusted normal kids with no emotional scars from it. The hardest was when we first moved. My son cried every night for hours for 3 straight weeks. The first week and half we coddled and comforted him because we knew he was truly scared from the sound of his cry. After that he was doing the "I just want attention" cry, which is totally different from the "I am really scared" cry. So that is when we started to just do our normal bedtime routine and then let him cry it out for 20 mins, then 30 mins, then 40 mins, then 50, then 60 mins. Each night we added 10 minutes to the time we would let him cry before we checked on him. And each time we checked on him, we would go in, hold him for a few minutes, then put him back in his crib and leave the room.

Both kids get up around 7am.

Everyone says that the cry it out method doesnt work for them. Nobody likes to hear their baby cry. If you liked it you shouldnt be a parent, lol!
Anyway, it does work. It is not comfortable in the least bit though.
Even babies that have been put down to sleep awake eventually want to be ricked or nursed back to sleep cause it is comfortable for them. But eventually you have to have them go to sleep without help.
It really works, I used it on both of my babies. They are 7 and 14 now and have never had bed wetting or sleep issues.

Your routine sounds so sweet and precious and wonderful, I would go on doing it for as long as you can. Do you have the children's book, "Love you Forever," by Robert Munsch? Pick up a copy for yourself if you can. Your routine reminds me so much of this book. You sound like amazing parents!

Hi S.,
I wouldn't worry to much. Singing is fine, I would stick to one or two short songs and then tell her you love her, give her a big hugs and say I'll see you after your nap (or in the morning)I think 5 minutes is to long to "get her to go to sleep". She'll sleep just fine if you don't do the whole routine with rocking and such. For now on, just shorten the rocking time by a minute each time and she won't even know the difference. She's still very young and at the perfect age to make changes. Believe me, in the future, it will be a pleasure when you can just put them in the bed to sleep.
I was in the same situation as you and it worked for my 19 month old daughter. I was putting her to sleep breastfeeding.
Now, she's good with a hug and a kiss. I even stopped giving her a sippy cup of milk in her crib. She drinks it before, then brushs her teeth. We walk into her room and I lift her up to say good night. She doesn't even cry any more. This is the best sinerio for me!!!
Before I really put my foot down, she was crying for a minumum of 30 minutes just to go to sleep. Yes, it took time and I did go in her room to try to lay her back down. It never worked....she would lay down for a minute while I stood there, but, once I started to leave, she would start screaming. So, I only go in there to make sure she doesn't need a diaper change, and then thats it. Now, she knows this and decided it just wasn't worth crying for a long time anymore. The whole process took about a month. But, it was worth it. Change the routine to what you want and she will conform.
Good luck!

S.,

Rocking a baby to sleep basically gets them usto the routine and then they are unable to adjust to falling asleep on their own AND without rocking. My sister-in-law would put my son to sleep that way and now that he's 4 (also inherited from my husband), he needs to wiggle his foot or leg until THEY fall asleep... Yes, my grown-a** husband wiggles his foot until he falls asleep... funny huh... something that I definitely needed to get usto...

And so, your baby is only 6 months and its something that you will need to continue introducing night after night until the child is no longer dependent on you to rock to sleep... Another suggestion is a bouncer that has a vibrator on it, this way the child does not get usto being in your arms too.

Co-independence vs. independence... and trust me you want to lean them towards independence throughout their growing up...

Our son, showers himself, dresses himself, helps fold his clothes, makes his bed, and puts away his toys... and NO we are not a military family... I've just slowly presented how things are done and he's willingly (most of the time) to learn how to do things too... and helps...

He's only 4 yrs old :-)

Good luck...

~C.

I rocked my son to sleep until he was nearly 17 months, then one day he said "no" and wanted to go to sleep by himself, and that was it, no more rocking. of course, at 22months we took the binky away and he completely regressed to wanting mom or dad in bed with him until he falls asleep, but he's almost over that at 2 1/2

Hi S.:
Just enjoy rocking your baby to sleep. I rocked my son to sleep for a long time - 18 months. I enjoyed it a lot and then one day he just didn't want me to do it anymore. I was happy he made the deicision for himself and happy I had that experience with him.

What worked really well for us was to gradually stop the rocking/singing. We would rock/read stories/listen to music for 20-30 minutes. Then as she got older she was so dependent on us being there until she was sound asleep that it was difficult to break. We cut down the time by 5-10 minutes each night over the course of a week, until we were down to reading one story and in bed. She wouldn't be totally asleep, but was dreary enough to fall asleep on her own. She never required us to stay in there anymore. I would still encourage a story or a few minutes of rocking and singing, but not to the point where it puts her to sleep. That's where she becomes dependent on you to go to sleep.

Good luck!
Hope this helps!