I've read a lot and know quite a bit about potty training and child care, but I'm stumped with my 3 1/2 year old daughter. We started potty training her around 18 months, by exposing her to a portable chair potty and not pushing...she would pee there for a while and then lost interest in it, so I didnt push and let it slide some. A little after she turned 2 we started again, and she still fought us, but started doing better. If I set her on the potty or tell her "lets go", then she will go pee for me almost every time. She will poop on the potty too. The problem is...she will not tell me when she has to go. If I do not put her on or we dont set a timer, then she will just go in her diaper or pull up. Even when I set the timer for every 1/2 hr, she will only be dry 1/2 of the time when we put her on. We just got back from vacation and I made up my mind that I am gonna work harder (not that we havent been) with her and try to get her to go more on the potty. I put underwear/panties on her today with a diaper cover and 1/2 hr later they were wet. I then put another pair of underwear on her and no cover...wet again 1/2 hr later...this occured 2 more times. The last time was only a 20 minute interval. I try to explain to her that she needs to hold it until she gets on the potty and tell me so she can stay dry. In the past, we've tried rewareds like treats and stickers, etc. I'm beginning to wonder though if she has a problem of not being able to feel that she has to go or has weak muscles down there that she cannot hold it. She is extremely smart and vocal and when we talk about the potty she can tell me where she is suppossed to go, etc. but she wont do it. Could it be that she just cant feel it? She doesnt get upset or worry about being wet either, so the idea of the panties and her not liking the wet doesnt even phase her. I really want to get her out of diapers and pull ups so we dont have to rely on them all the time and can cut that cost out. Any advice/suggestions would be helpful? Is this common? Do I just keep trying with the panties? and will she improve? Hopefully I'll have hair left by the time she is done with this.
L.,
No advice, but consolation. I also have a 3 1/2 year old, bright girl who is not potty trained. i think I'm going to put her in underwear and not go anywhere for a week and MAKE her potty train. But she's going to "summer camp" and I don't want to take her out of that for this training that she'll eventually get. I have a newborn, which isn't really helping in the trraining.
L., your situation sounds VERY familiar. I have a very smart yet very stubborn(everything on his terms) boy that just turned 3. I have been trying since he turned 2 and have faced many/all of the issues that you have.
Last friday I tried something new and have had more success in the last 5 days than in the last year. When we are at home, I leave him naked (bottom anyway). He sees immediately when he starts to go and can run to the bathroom. This also eliminates the option of having diapers/under ware to "contain" the mess...no excuses for them.I still try to put him on every 20 min.
I don't know how well this will work/or how comfortable you are having daycare kids, but I have seen HUGE success with it. I think he would have it down if we were home all day the last 5 days, we are just so darn active!
It is possible that something medical could be going on. I would check with your doctor. However, go ahead and throw out the diapers & pull ups during the day. If you continue to rely on them, you will never get anywhere. Put her in the thick cotton training panties. Yes, you will have lots of messes to clean up, but she will start to figure out that she doesn't like being wet. Give it about a month and if she still is having problems, I would definitely ask your pediatrician about it. Goodbye Pull ups!
L., my son is only 2 yrs 9 months, plus with his being a boy he's a bit more behind your daughter probably, but he's doing the exact same thing. as long as i take him like clockwork (and with him it's like every 20 minutes or i miss it) he goes like a champ "on command", but he has yet to tell me he "has" to go...only "I'M SORRY!" when he HAS gone. he is also very smart and i am pretty confidant that he knows what he's supposed to do - in his case, we have only started hardcore training the last few days so i hope he'll get it. but one thing i have noticed is that when i am disappointed or frustrated, he often "wants to go" more. and i know why - when he is "trying" i sit next to him on the tub and we talk, sing songs, read books, etc. is it possible she's feeling jealousy over the daycare kids and wants that extra attention? just a thought...i don't know how to fix it either but i guess we just keep plugging along. they have to get it eventually right? a dr. could tell you if she is having any problems "down there" i suppose...good luck!
for what it's worth, we have not used pullups at all while training...he still uses a diaper for the most part, we're just "starting"....but he DEFINTELY knows when he's gone in his underwear, so i'm happy with what they're doing so far. i've been told that some kids don't even realize they've gone in a pullup.
PS, my hubby is also looking to get into the truck driving industry, i'd love to hear your story - i am expecting the long absences, but i hope that the stability for our family will make up for it. did your hubby do the training with the year contract thing? email me if you want!
I just read your post. I have a 2 yr 4 mo old daughter and I am dreading potty training. I have two older children but it's been so long I forgot how we got through it. All I know is it isn't something I want to do again. I will be watching to see what kind of advice you get. Hang in there!
Noticed your posting on potty training and have a link for you to take a look at. http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/ It is an show that he did on potty training kids and actually had kids that went through the process on the show. Getting rid of the diapers does help since this can confuse them.
maybe the problem is the pull ups and diapers. We trained our son in less than a week and only used undies. I brought him into the potty every 15 mins and when he pottied, I would wait like an hour or so before taking him in again. We also made a HUGE production of it when he pottied and he got a few m&m's. He'd get a whole bunch when he poopied. Whe he was pottying I explained that, that feeling was that he needed to go potty. also, I think hanging out in wet undies made it quite uncomy too. We also would let him run around naked. good luck, and stay consistent.
One of the signs of readiness is staying dry for 2 hours at a time. It sounds like she may either now be ready or maybe she has a small bladder. I would discuss it with her Dr. By 3 1/2 she should be staying dry for longer the 1/2 hour.
I am just beginning the potty training with my son, but my sister had a timer that she set every 15 minutes in the beginning then as her son caught on they spaced it out to 20 minutes, then 30 minutes until he was able to tell her that he needed to go. I also know small rewards have worked for several of my friends and my sister. It's possible that she could have a urinary tract infection that would make her pee so often. Is her urine dark in color? Is she drinking adequate amounts of fluid? Does she tell you it burns or hurts when she pees? If in doubt, take her to the pediatrician to have them check her urine. Most likely it's that she has not had to control her bladder in diapers/Pull-Ups and she is now learning that she can control those muscles. Hope this helps.
L.,
My advice to you is to start first thing in the morning and put her on the pot. Once she goes put her on the pot every hour until she goes again. When you put her on the pot tell her that mommy wants her to pee pee in the pot. Then start to ask her if she has to go before you sit her on the pot. Even if she says know you have to put her on the pot if it has been and hour. She will eventually say she has to go. Good Luck
Hello L.,
If you'd be interested, I have a program that trains children in three days. We had success in training our son and I can send it to you. I really appreciated the info. and I'd like to send it to you. Send me your email address and I'll get the info. to you. The program is PDF file, so that's the only way I can send it. Let me know!
ls
Your daughter is old enough to understand that she should be going in the potty. If there is no medical problem making her clean up the mess. Obviously you will need to go back and clean up the mess too cause she will not do a good job. My aunt has a daycare and she does this once the child is old enough and understands. They don't like having to clean the mess so they learned fast to get to the potty before it gets all over the place. Also this is done with underwear not diapers/pull ups cause the just delays the training.
