How Do Handle Negative Husband, and Always Take Think He Is Right

This is never easy but find a time when you both are distracted and tired from the day to discuss this. His response towards you is not right. My DH likes to be controlling too but when I point this out during a civil discussion he will back off. If you find he is getting defensive and you are not making progress, table the discussion and come back to it. If you find that your communication is not helping...Seek counseling for a short time. Made a world of difference for us. :)

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Sit down and write him a letter explaining how he makes you feel then leave it for him to read when you are not around. Or if you think a face to face talk is better, do that. He may not realize how he talks to you (especially if he was raised with certain tones in his household). Tell him if he's worried about money - that the two of you should discuss the budget together. Each of you should have your own 'slush' fund each week or month (how ever you want to do it) and you can spend that money on whatever each of you chooses without asking the other person. If you choose to spend over X amount (for us it's usually if we want to spend anything outside of our slush fund) we discuss it and see if / when it's possible to do!

First, think about what you're saying and think about how YOU would take it. Ask yourself if the tone you're using is appropriate. Ask yourself if you are expecting him to do something without actually SAYING it. (i.e.- You wish he'd take out the trash because it's full to the brim. You ask him to throw something away thinking that he'll take notice that it's full (usually being his job anyhow) and get mad when he doesn't take it out. - You never asked him to take the trash out, but you're assuming that he's thinking like you. Men don't think like women.)

My ex was rather verbally abusive and controlling. Even when I did try to tell him, in detail, of what I expected, he was nasty and ignored what I'd said.

However, my hubby now... I can tell him or ASK him to do something and he does it (if he can at the moment, or later if he can't right at that moment). But if I don't say EXACTLY what I want or expect, it may not be something that he's thinking about... MEN DON'T THINK LIKE WOMEN.

As far as money goes... What's wrong with HIM handling the finances if it's really that important to him. I offered to let my ex and my hubby now handle the finances because I was questioned about it... I was told, 'No way... You handle it better than I could.' from both of them.

Second... big thing... ASK him what HE expects from you and this marriage. If he doesn't have an answer... Then tell him he can't b*t** about it. I don't know if you work outside the home (because Lord knows - being at home IS a job in itself) but what I was going to say is, if you do... Get your own acct. Then, he has no way of controlling your personal finances. As far as his daughters are concerned, I don't know the ages, but maybe suggest (politely) that if you don't have a say in how things go with the family, how can you expect to still be a part of said family. Taking trips... If you do have a job outside the home, he shouldn't have a say in that either.

The way to 'handle someone like this' is to be completely honest and talk to him without any yelling or accusing or 'attacking' him in any way. I can tell you from my experience of working with all men for the last 16yrs and being married twice that as soon as you raise your voice or get 'that tone', they stop listening and begin defense mode.

Hi, A.:
Are you in any kind of support group?

First of all, your husband's anger is not about you. Whatever it is that triggers his anger is coming from his childhood.

When he calms down, be like a reporter and interview him and ask him questions about whatever issue that has been troublesome for him. You don't give him your opinion, it is all about him.
Hope this helps.
Good luck.
D.