How Did You Know Your Family Is or Is Not Complete?

We knew before we had any kids that we could only afford to put two kids through college and that was it. The big question was whether we'd have one or two and we ultimately decided to have two. With one boy and one girl, including one with special needs, we were definitely done.

Because I'm just spent. I can't do any more. I had 3 kids down - it was easy for me. I find 4 extremely difficult. So there will definitely not be a 5th.

When my husband and I realized that our one child was exactly what we could afford financially, mentally, patience-wise and energy-exertion wise. We have a great thing and didn't feel the need to mess that up w/ the unknown of adding another child into the mix. Also, I never had this set number of kids in my mind like I know a lot of people do.

It took us so long to get pregnant - we were grateful for the son we got.
My pregnancy was perfect - and he's a great kid.
My sister was a nightmare to grow up with and my husband is an only child and he was very happy being an only child.
There's no guarantee that siblings will get along - and I'd never want to put our son through what I went through.
We can help him with college and still afford to retire.
One child is our perfect number!

How did I know? When my husband told me we were done after our only child was born. He has 2 from his previous relationship and wants no more. It hurts me but I accept and respect his decision. I'd love to have another one since my stepkids have no relationship with me at all (by their choice, not mine). But I have my wonderful son and I'm okay with it.

Well, I keep waiting for that feeling of knowing I'm done. I still don't have it, and we have 5. Husband says we are ABSOLUTELY done. I try not to think about it or dwell on it for now, because we still have one under 1. Hoping the feeling will just wash over me, because at this point, for someone to tell me for sure that I will never carry another child or mother another child breaks my heart a little.

I felt complete at 1 and that is where I stopped with no regrets.

I knew it when I was pregnant and it was confirmed after she was born.. our family was complete.

I don't know if there is one thing I can pinpoint as to why I know I'm done, but I just know with every fiber of my being that I am done. There is never any question on whether or not I want another. You may not have another, but as long as you are thinking about it, you are not done.

Ours will never be complete as far as my husband and I are concerned, but it's complete since #2 has never come along, even with being homestudy approved for adoption for 7years. I'm jealous of those who know when they are done :)

honestly, i wasn't sure and quit after 2. I love my two. Sometimes I wish I'd had more. Other times I am glad I stopped, but truth is not sure I EVER would have felt done.

I never had any questions about having more than 2.
I've never had the desire or push for another baby, never felt that twinge of remorse that others seem to get.

I just always knew. There was no question that we were done at 2..short of an "oooops". And now DH has had a vasectomy, and I've had Essure. So barring a miracle, we're done.

And the 2 that we have wipe us out daily!

You need to decide, in yourself, if your wanting to have another baby is due to:
- that you want another baby and having a bigger family, or
2) that it is your biological clock, that is ticking away? And you are thinking about your age.
3) That is it maybe because your existing kids are getting older and you "miss" having a "baby?" So therefore, you want another baby?
4) That you know, you want 3 kids. And always did?
5) Or you just miss being pregnant?

The thing is, with any Mom, as our existing kids grow up and get older... we "miss" having a baby around. Thus, we may want to get pregnant again etc. and have another "baby."
But we have to discern, our real.... reasons for wanting another baby or not. Rationally.

Me, I have 2 kids. My last and youngest child is 6. My son. It is really bittersweet... seeing him grow up. I wish he was still a "baby." So sad as I watch him grow up. I have thought it would be so nice to have another baby...... but, I KNOW, that 2 kids is enough, for me. I KNOW... that this is just a Rite Of Passage... as a Mom, to see my kids growing up. Not being babies, anymore. And it is just "growing pains".... for a Mom. Seeing my kids grow up. Like an "empty nest" feeling.... as my kids are getting older. My oldest, my daughter, is 10... and will be going to middle school next year. OMG!
But I KNOW... 2 kids are enough for me.
My Husband, wouldn't mind more kids. He comes from a big family. My kids have even told me they want another sibling, a baby.
But no.
I know, 2 kids are enough for me.
Even if I get.... sorta "sad" seeing them grow up.
I know... I am done.
I, as a Mom... just have to adjust to... seeing my kids grow up and get less... attached to me.
It is life, phases. For a Mom.

We have flickerings here and there about having a third, but for us:
1. We can pretty easily afford two. Adding a third would stretch a lot.
2. My husband will be 40 this year and I am 34... neither of us wants to have a college kid when we should be gearing up for retirement.
3. I almost died both times giving birth. A third would be a real gamble and it just doesn't seem like a good plan.

Given all of that... we're still not sure we're "Done". If this is it for us, we're OK. If we end of having another... well, that would be OK too.

My husband and I got married at 20. Our son was born when I was 24 and I knew that I wanted at least 2 kids and we had both discussed it and agreed on 2. I was an only child and that's my reason for having more than one. I had my daughter when I was 27. Both kids keep me really busy and I cannot picture our family any other way.

I knew I was done with one. I hated being pregnant and her birth almost killed us both. I had no desire to ever repeat the experience.

My husband would have loved to have had a baseball team!! That idea NEVER appealed to me. My husband traveled a lot and I worked on and off for several years and then went back to school. So I was the one who dealt with the munchkins most if not all the time. My husband did ask me once if we should add to our family and my answer was "hell no"! That is when I knew I was done!!! =) We have 2, girl and boy.

I always wanted three children, but my ex was done at two. After several years of issues, I had a hysterectomy. With my endo, I question whether I could've carried a child in my 30's. Now, I have two step-sons. My daugher says, I wanted three and now I have a bonus

When I got pregnant with the next one. I love kids and would have as many as God would provide.

Not sure as yet, but thinking I might be done. We have one very active 30 month old, I am 37 now. Haven't closed the door on it, but aren't eager for another either.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.