She will only wear crop tops but even when she wears them you can see her jiggling she has two proper bras and will not wear them. she is a 30b. To : B i was always really excited to wear a bra and so were her sisters so neither my mom nor me has had this problem. she is also very into sports so wears allot of tank tops. thanks Marda she won't wear a sportsbra.either as they are "too tight". Even her aunt and cousin have said to her. diane sorry i don't mean cropped t shirsts i meant the sort of trainer bras that are essentially a tank top cut in half. UPDATE: thanks so much reverend we got that size from when she was measured at macys for the proper bras and she put then on in the shop and the fitter and i checked them and she admitted that they were comfy she just dosent want to wear them. THANKS AGAIN REVEREND.
Is this a battle that's really worth fighting? Eventually, her peers will start wearing bras. Or she'll start to realize how uncomfortable sports are without proper support. Or someone her age will say something to her. And she'll pull the bras out of her drawer and start wearing them.
I just don't think it's a hill worth dying on.
How did you determine her size? Take her to a reliable shop and have her sized and then ask for some help to find comfortable bras for her. A specialty shop or Layne Bryant, Penney's no longer does bra fittings, but you may find someone at the store who knows how.
My guess is the bras she has are too tight and that can be painful.
IMO Victoria's Secret is not a reliable place to get a bra fitting. I was a bra fitter at Penney's for 3 years and every woman who came in and had been fitted at VS was wearing the wrong size. One woman was told she needed a 36 DDD and for ten years wore sports bras because they were not comfortable. I measured her and she needed a 40 B. Once she was in the correct size she was not only thrilled but comfortable. Also a 36 C is the same size cup as a 34 D and a 38 B, just the band sizes are different. So if she measures an odd number try going up or down a band size then with the corresponding cup size.
I hope this helps.
If she doesn't want to wear a bra, then don't make her wear a bra. Bras are not necessary for breast health.
She's 11, so you are buying her clothes. If you don't want her to wear crop tops or anything sheer or short, don't buy them. If she already has them, you can take them away if they are too revealing. You're the mom.
Otherwise, you can't add something (a bra) as easily as you can take away (crop tops). So, I wouldn't fight this. When/if she's uncomfortable, she will wear a bra. If she doesn't like the "proper" bras you purchased, what about a sports bra? You say she's into sports, so many of her friends will be wearing these. They aren't wearing crop tops on the field, right? Other kids just haven't developed much at this age so they aren't wearing anything yet either. If she needs more coverage but doesn't feel the need for support, what about a camisole? It doesn't have to be frilly - just stretchy and with a little coverage from an extra layer under her shirt. Either way, the straps shouldn't interfere with her athletic moves - girls find falling straps really annoying, and I can't blame them.
Is she changing clothes for gym class? Does she have a private changing room for that, or would she be more modest in either of the above items (sports or camisole)? What are the locker room requirements re uniforms and privacy? These are some questions you might ask to get an idea of what the expectations and practices are at the school. But again, sometimes you need to start to let go a little at this age, and let consequences occur. Unless she's exhibiting herself excessively, start letting her take care of her own body.
they're her breasts. if she's not yet wanting to keep 'em from jiggling, i'd say it's her call.
you do get to put the kibosh on her wearing thin or too-short shirts if she's revealing too much.
let her pick her new bras.
khairete
S.
It might not be as easy in California, but in Minnesota, I could sure find the kind of sweatshirt/sweater tops that provide natural modesty without a bra. Darker colors, layers, certain styles or patterns. I wouldn't tell her she has to wear a bra, but I would teach her how to select comfortable clothes that work well without one for now. 11 is a hard age. Not all of her peers are probably wearing bras yet. Keep in mind there's also a level of self-conciousness that girls experience when their peers notice they ARE starting to wear bras. Maybe she's just not ready yet. Put them in her drawer, tell her anytime she wants to try to start wearing them is a good time. I would not pressure or force her.
There is really no need for her to wear a bra if she finds them uncomfortable, in fact some studies have shown it is better for the breast to not wear one. Times are changing, women are starting to realize there is no need to hide away our natural selves and that a nipple showing or a little jiggle is not necessarily sexual, it is just our bodies, and our bodies are not inherently sexual by the very nature of being female. Leave her be.
This makes me laugh. I'm sorry!!! THIS WAS ME!!!! I was a C cup in 6th grade, no joke, and I refused to wear a bra. My mom was mortified and everyone told me to do it and I just refused. I think for me I was just so incredibly embarrassed. I had larger breasts than pretty much everyone, including some teachers, and I just didn't want them. I wore bulky clothes and hunched my shoulders and pretty much ignored them.
I honestly don't know when or why I started wearing one but it was sometime either that year or the next. I have no real advice I guess, only just to say that I've been there and eventually she'll come around. I would keep talking to her about it in a calm and low-pressure way and maybe she'll open up to you or decide to do it.
I personally find sports bras uncomfortable and I also find bras with underwires uncomfortable. And so many bras are made to look sexy and I find lace uncomfortable. Basically, it has to be very smooth and soft with no underwire. Warner Body Heaven Ultra Soft is one I like. Or a cami shirt. She might like wearing one of these. I'd try that first.
There's really no need for a bra if she is dressing modestly. She should not be wearing sheer see-through tops to school either way!
I don't have experience with this yet as my daughter is nine, but what about one of those tank top/camisole tops that have a built in bra. I've seen them in Kohls in the women's section but maybe the small or extra small might fit her? Just a thought as sort of a compromise or in-between stage. Good luck and let us know how things go!
Jiggling?
how about an Elita bra.
Jockey, Gap, nearly all bra lines make comfort bras that are not sports bras but can be worn instead of a 'regular' bra. They are not training bras.
My daughter would wear a sports bra but not regular bras. They are lined and fit snugly.
Not everyone wants to grow up at the same time their body matures. This may apply to your daughter. She may just wish she could ignore her maturation for now. Not especially logical, but very age-appropriate. So while you are working through this, you might wish to refrain from any encouragement that has to do with "Your growing up now." All my best.
Ha! Are you talking about my 11 year old. (She also doesn't like to put on deodorant by the way) I had to stress to her that she just is not at the age where she can go without anymore. I mostly had to stop her every day and tell her to go put one on. So far she's been putting them on now. But took some time of me making her put one on before leaving the house.
