Boy do I know what you are talking about! I have two children, both had bowel trouble. But my second son had it the worst. His pediatrician sent him to Shands and he was diagnosed with functional constipation. Well, with this his bowel movement due to size and hardness obviously made it very painful and scary for him to go. So they put him on Mirilax (milk of magnesia works just as well) and told me that we had to make his bowel movements as soft as possible (but not watery)so that he could re-learn that it is not painful to go #2. We had to remove that fear. Well, that took more than a year, but it worked. Now I keep the milk of magnesia and if I notice he goes one day off of his normal bowel movements or they are starting to get really hard, I go ahead and give him some of that until he goes. Just give it time- remember, some of the smallest things are so dramatic for our little ones and can take time to overcome. So just make sure the bowel is soft so that it does not hurt her at all and it will all come together. Plus, if it is soft then she will have a harder time holding it and will have to go more often. Hope this helps.