Help with 2 and a Half Year Old That Gets in the Wrong Spots

We were having the same type of problem with my 20 month old niece. As I have 3 teenagers I was sorta ready for this lol. When your daughter hits like that, immediately grab her hands (not real hard, just to stop them) get right to her level, look her in the eye and say "NO, that hurts" or "enough, that hurts"..something along those lines. The main thing, by holding her hands, you have her attention, by getting to her level, you're not talking down to her. At this age, short, quick and to the point is best. Something else we do, is the difference between owie and OW. Owie is playing..OW is that hurts. I hope this helps some :)

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Time outs are working for me and my 3 yr old. I have been having the same problem.

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Maybe she doesn't quite understand or can't process the verbal message. Two-year olds might need some help learning in other ways. Maybe, when it's during play, say "ow," make a clear sad face, and gently take her hand and apply it somewhere else, like your arm. This kind of imprints it for her. Give her something kind of concrete to work with rather than telling her what not to do. It's hard for kids to do that kind of substitution on their own. When she does it when she's mad, do the same thing: take her hand gently, tell her she may not hit, and tell her that when she's mad, she can hop up and down, or throw an appointed small stuffed animal down on the floor, or whatever substitute behavior you find acceptable.

I think it should be okay to express anger. We all need to express anger healthfully. In disciplining your daughter through the angry moments, don't just force her to be nice. Help her find healthy ways to communicate with you. THis will keep your relationship strong and she will learn that she can go to you with her problems.

I got this from Becky Bailey's Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. Great book; highly recommended!

L.

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When she does this, you should put her in time out. Make it an unacceptable thing to hit anyone, even if she does it playfully. It sounds like you've told her that it hurts and that she doesn't need to do it anymore. She needs to understand that it is wrong to hit. Good luck!

I second the time-out suggestion. Sometimes I have my daughter (now 3) sit in a chair with nothing around her that she can reach. Make sure she stays in the chair for 2 minutes. If she gets off, just put her right back.

After the 2 minutes, tell her she can get down if she says she's sorry for hurting you.

I'm sorry... but hitting (or getting as you call it) is NEVER ACCEPTABLE. She is learning that it's ok to hit, ok to hurt (b/c you told her it does and she continues), and that she doesn't have to listen or respect what you say. A child like that is not healthy. Personally... the next time she does it, I would get down on her level looking her straight in her eyes and firmly say, "Do not hit me there again. It hurts. The next time you do it, you WILL go to time-out for hurting me and not listening." If she does it again (which she probably will to "test" you)... follow through. Tell her your putting her in time-out because she hurt you and didn't listen to you. Put her in time-out for 2 1/2 minutes and make her apologize to you when it's done. Instead of hitting (getting) why not play where she instead of hitting to get you, she tickles you.