Help Needed from Other Twin Moms!

I'm not a mother of twins - but am a mother of siblings.

I would say "It's not ok for the little boy to take the toys from his sister - also not ok for her to be aggressive."

I would interfere everytime he takes a toy away from her, otherwise, it will just continue and you will be mitigating the problem your hole life.

When he takes a toy away:
1. Take the toy back from him and give it to his sister.
2. Remove him from the play area.
3. Tell him "We do not take things away from your sister"
4. Let him sit on your lap, with no toys, for a few minutes.
5. If he cries, wait for him to settle down.
6. Tell him, "I'm going to let you play - do not take toys away from _________"

Repeat this every time... it will probably take a few days, but he will stop. Good Luck !

I'm not a mother of twins, but an aunt to twins whom I used to help my mother keep every other weekend. We only inteferred at that age when one got aggressive...they'll learn to settle it themselves with and without aggression eventually, but they both need to figure out how to play and take up for themselves because the other will always be there to interfere. In our case, at 4 years old now, the little girl has become the instigator, so the roles have reversed now that they are older, she takes and he hits...problem: he's almost 15lbs heavier and 8 inches taller, so when he hits she almost always hits the ground.

Hi D.,
I have twin girls now 4 years old. They are the best of friends and at times the worst of enemies! :) I don't think I have a magic solution for you. When it came to biting that was one thing that I just wouldn't tolerate and gave a strong response when it happened...nothing mean but very stern No Biting! and a slap on the hand and removal from her sister's side. And give the hurt sibling more attention. Sometimes even negative attention can be "rewarding" to bad behavior. And it's good for her to see the other sibling getting Mommy's attention.
Do they use a paci? Sometimes having something in their mouth already can help...although I've known of kiddos who would take it out, bite, and put it back in. If you think she is teething make sure she has something else to chew on. My kids liked a cool washcloth as well as purchased teethers.
One yr. old twins were a fun stage. They are still so sweet and developing so many milestones it was a joy to watch...but they are more mobile and in to everything!
Good luck and hang in there!
B.

I'm not a mother of twins either, but I thought I'd share something that my daughter's daycare teaches the children. If a child, for example, takes a toy away from another child, they teach the one who lost the toy to tell the other child "I don't like it when you take my toy away." They do the same thing for hitting, etc. "I don't like it when you hit me." This teaches them to use words to express their feelings, rather than biting or hitting back. Perhaps you can add this in with the other advice. Teach your daughter to tell her brother she doesn't like it when he takes her toys from her, instead of her biting him.