Help! My Son's Started Swearing!

I am utterly opposed to putting soap in children's mouths or anything similar. I don't believe in "hurting their egos just a little". Respect is a two way street-- if you want their respect then you need to respect them, (fear of you is not the same as respect). The way I dealt with my children was to downplay it when they used a swear word and explain to them other and better words to use to express themselves. It worked fine. I've got two very polite children now. Please don't use the soap. That's a horrible way to deal with it in my opinion.

Hello, I say ignore it. Or what I do with my 2 year old, is put her on the step when she does something inappropriate. Then I tell her she can get up when she can be sweet, or do as I asked, like put away a toy. That way it puts the responsiblity on them, and you are teaching them choices. He might be using it to get attention, because it causes a reaction. whether it's good attention or bad attention, it's still attention. Good Luck!

PS. we are thinking of adoption as well.

I think you are handling it right, because like you said he really doesn't understand what the word means and to the little ones it is just another word, I do not use soap or chili in there mouths and don't really agree w/ that method, repeat that it is a not a nice word just like stupid, retard, dummy ect, and that you do not want him to use it anymore, give it sometime it will sink in, be patient with him, I try not to overeact and they have all managed to stop, at least until thier teenage years were it feels like I am starting all over again LOL :).

I had a hard time the first time my daughter said a bad word. I know she heard it from my husband--he has a habit of letting things slip out when he's dropped something, stubbed a toe, etc. I have to admit I laughed when my daughter said her first bad word, which I know was a bad reaction (she was 2 and barely talking, and to hear a curse word in that tiny voice seemed funny to me). However, we did discuss it, and she has only said it once or twice since. SHe knows it's a bad word. We didn't make a big deal about it because we didn't want her to think too much about it. I just say that those words are not okay for anyone to say, even though sometimes grown-ups might say them, grown-ups shouldn't say them either, because they can make people feel bad. We have tried to keep her from hearing anything else--my husband has done really well curbing himself. So far, it's fine.

My son will be 4 in May and I have been really trying this last couple of weeks to break the habit of a negative word. I've tried everything from a time out to telling him its bad to plain out ignoring it. My friend said that by trying all these ways to get him to stop I have actually been confusing him. She said whichever way you take care of it, just be consistant, thats what will make the difference. Let me tell you, it really has. Just pick one form of discipline and stick to it....every time, even if that means you have to stop what you are doing to do it. Hope this helps I am now seeing that it is just a stage in life, you'll get thru.
V~

I do not believe you should use soap in a childs mouth due to allergies. I do believe that vinegar works well. My 8 year old sometimes forgets that she should not talk back to her parents and all we have to say is do you want the vinegar, she cries "no no I will be good" and she does for awhile. I have never had to actually use it. Another suggestion is take a favorite toy or item away for a certain amount of time and when you give it back remind the child of why it was taken to begin with and that everytime he says the bad word that you will take it again. Whatever you decided I am sure it will work for your family.

I agree with one of the earlier post responses.....soap in the mouth. Ignoring it won't help, especially if it is a word that you don't want said. They will become used to saying it. Whether they understand the word or not is irrelevant. My daughter went through a phase of a cuss word she heard from outside our home. I explained firmly that we do not use that word & why, & told her that if it came out of her mouth again, she would get bar soap on her tongue. Kids don't often understand why we don't want them to do or not do something, but ignoring the behavior isn't the answer in this case. For us, the firmness & consistency of our approach worked.

I am old fashioned and sorry, but when my daughter refused to give up the B**ch word as she thought it was funny she got attention, one squirt of liquid soap (very tiny amount) and I made her hold it in her mouth for like five seconds, was enough, it NEVER happened again. The same trick worked when my son thought it was cute to spit. It will seriously work, not cause harm to them nor is it damaging to them other then their ego for a few minutes, but I guarantee it is pretty effective! I told them both, words that are bad are dirty and there is only one way to was them out of their mouth if they won't stop!!!

He doesn't know what it means so he is not saying to be hurtful necessarily. If he repeats it after you have made it a rule you need to follow through with a consequence.

This should be a rule just like any other rule you have in your house. "We don't use that word. If you say it again you will get a __________" Fill in the blank with the form of discipline that you know works for him. IF your normally use a timeout/spanking/lose toy/whatever and that works why would you not use that same thing in this circumstance????