Help! My Inlaws Are Sick!

Updated on July 20, 2011
S.R. asks from Temecula, CA
5 answers

This is a touchy situation. My MIL and SIL are sick in the head. I have cut both of them off. Yet they are still trying to find ways to hurt us.

My SIL was cut off because I confronted her for abusing power of attorney for her father. She was spending his money on things he didn't need, and a few of those very expensive items landed permanently at her house. She was irate, threatening me, texting abusive comments etc. She would call my husband and accuse him of stealing, which he's not and we can prove it! We even have proof that SHE is the one stealing. NOW, she is even madder and attempting to implicate my husband in her long thread of manipulation. We can prove she is stealing and we aren't but she doesn't drop it! Why is she so stupid! She's going to implicate herself. I'm also suspicious that she may have stolen more than we know. What steps can I take to find out? My husband has POA as well and can access dads account for info if that helps.

Five years ago, when I met her, I was taken aback. She walked around drunk @daddy's house saying when you die I want this and that. Constantly obsessing on his personal and private matters while he was competent. All she talks about is money. She didn't grow up around her dad. He is a triple amputee and my husband has lived and cared for him his entire life. She had a kid a few years back and started showing up and caring suddenly. During his decline, she has made comments about smothering him with a pillow, pushing him down the stairs, giving him the gun so he can end it, etc. She wishes he would die. She tries to control everything about dad. Even wants a phone call if we visit him. Dad asked me and hubs to take over his home when it got difficult. So we did. Now she's trying to get us kicked out. She sends MIL to manipulate and snoop for her. She was showing up unannounced. I just am so overwhelmed and I want normal life for my family! When will this end?

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So What Happened?

How can someone tell me to stay out of it if my husband and my family are on the line because of it? How is that possible?

More Answers

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

it will end when you stop participating in it..

record and document your issues but other than that - stay out of it.

If you can record her stating she will smother him with a pillow - then do - and give it to the police as evidence....

you might have to continue to participate in her drama to get her declared a mental case/mentally incompetent a danger to herself and society - especially with the threats of killing her father....

If she is threatening you and your family - file a restraint order against her.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Your husband needs to handle his business. If he has power of attorney, he also has the power and authority to change this situation towards his favor by cutting her off from the FIL's funding. As for her stealing, that is what the police are for. File a police report. You can't do it but your husband and/or FIL can but only if you are serious about prosecuting. You will need a list of the items and their value.

Long story short it is up to your husband to deal with his family and protect his immediate family. Your role is to not stress but figure out how to encourage him to do that without stressing him out.

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Y.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You and your husband should get a restraining order against her, keeping her away from his dad and your houses! Document her threats first. It's so easy to record things secretly nowadays!!!

She sounds so evil.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Consult an attorney and find out if anything she has done is potentially criminal. If it is, hire a forensic accountant to dig into everything, and press charges.

If she shows up at your house unannounced, say "Now is a bad time. Please call and talk to us before a visit to make sure we're available and it's a good time." Do not open the door. If she gets violent, call the police to have her removed.

Record all comments (ie--smothering with a pillow, push down stairs, etc.) Check your state laws first to make sure it's legal to do so. If it's not, keep a journal with that information (times, dates, things said, other people present).

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R.F.

answers from St. Joseph on

First thing is have your FIL rescind your SIL's POA. Without the POA she will no longer be able to spend his money. Then I would go through your FIL records and find out how much money she took you need to document everything. When you give someone POA you give them the right to act on your behalf so don't know if you can bring any charges against her especially if your FIL is aware of the purchases she had made and has not done anything to stop her up to this point.

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