Power of Attorney Is a Thief

Dear J., I understand how you feel. For the past 11 years I have been living with and caring for my elderly mother. She does not have dementia, but short term memory loss, legally blind, and some physical ailments. I had her power of attorney. To make a long story short, last March I fell at home, hit my head, was in a coma for 2 weeks. During that time my pathological liar of a sister, and idiot brother took over power of attorney, put my mother in a home, kicked me out of the house, and put it up for sale. In our state the law says that if mother is "of sound mind", she has every right to agree to their actions. She wants to change this, but does not have the memory to. I have been to 3 attorneys, and there is nothing I can do. Are you from the UK? Do you live there or in the states? Every thing depends on the law where you live. Every state is different. But the same thing happened to a good friend of mine with her evil twin and her mother. Attorneys go by the book when it comes to the state and federal laws. They do not get involved in family emotional anguish. This was the worst betrayal I have ever gone through and there is not a thing I can do about it. If your mother has dementia, you may have some recourse, depending on the law. But it depends on a lot of factors. Good luck! S.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.. I work with long term care insurance for elderly patients who sadly have situations like this every day. My first bit of advice if you haven't already would be to obtain a copy of the Power of Attorney document if you can to see exactly what rights/terms your mother's sister has. A lot of POA documents include language that indicates it can be rescinded at anytime, regardless of your mother's condition. Secondly, I would consult with an attorney and see what your options are. Options and stipulations regarding POA documents vary from state to state so I'm not sure what your options will be. You may also want to inquire about court appointed guardianship or conservatorship. I hope something works out for you. It's awful to see our parents/grandparents taken advantage of when they are most vulnerable. Good luck!

All the ideas below are excellent. I would present yourself as the daughter who is concerned, not as the one who wants to regain control. If you express that you would prefer an unrelated party to take control such as the courts, they may be more inclined to believe your side since you will have no immediate benefit. You may also want to gather evidence of what you did to care for her in the past to demonstrate that she was better off before they took charge, again to show that you are the one who has your mother's best interest at heart. I hope this all works out for you sooner rather than later!

We have POA on my mom.....What I understand is that it gives her sister rights to make decisions .... this should not keep you from finding out what her health is....unless she also has a Medical POA...which means there are TWO POA. Find a lawyer that can help your mom write a new POA if she feels that a mistake has been done.

You and your sisters need to pool your resources together and get a GOOD attorney. The decision can be over turned if you build a good case against her, your Aunt. Bring up all the fraud and other crimes to your attorney, it may be costly and take awhile but it will be well worth the peace of mind to know that your Aunt and her hubby can't sell off all of your moms precious memories or pull the plug just to get her money. Good luck and do your research it may be a quick, inexpensive way to do things.

Hire an attorney. The scope of the Power of Attorney will determine if the "thief" is within her boundaries. If she is spending funds in a way that has not been authorized under the power of attorney, then you can take her to court. As her child, I would think you should have a vested interest in her estate. If she is abusing her position/squandering assets she is harming your interest.

Get yourself a good lawyer and take this to court.

Well, that's lousy. Here are some ideas.

First, contact the attorney who drew up the poser and health care proxies. If not an attorney, it was probably the administraiton of her hospital or rehab facility. Tell them that you mother has expressed that she signed papers under diress, sis not understand wha tshe was signing, or was misled (if any of those is true) and tell them that you want a copy and ask the facility's lawyer to assist you.

When you determine the current facility, ask to speak to their attorney. Tell them that her sister does not have her interests in mind. They need to be aware of the conflict becasue they would be wary of acting on your aunt's say-so as it is a libility issue for them. They should talk to your mother in provate to determine her needs and desires.

You could also get an elder law attorney. Call the county bar and ask for a free referral (I think 1-800-lawyers does this too). Many attornies will meet with you once for free to let you know if they can do anything.

In Fairfax County, there is an agency called Elderlink that helps seniors and their families get services. They might know of a similar agency in Richmond to help you.

Also, call Adult Protective Services for your city/county. It is like Child Protective Services but for adults. Tell them you think your parent is vulnerable to a criminal and is being put in an unsafe situation. They may be able to check on her well being and maybe provide or get an order an attorney on your mother's behalf to look out for her interests. I am suprised the police did not contact them.

Document the date, time, and content of every conversation you or your family has had with your mother. Also document all that you know about your aunt.

On one hand, your mom did get herself into this. But she may be considered a vulnerable person. If she did not understand the consequences of what she did or if she was pressured to make the decision, then I would think that would invalidate things. Even if you aren't appointed, a court should provide an impartial person.

My heart goes out to you. My grandmothers sister was in the same state. I was involved and spoke with the POA for my great aunt and was shocked. I did manage to arrange for my grandmother to have phone calls or visits with her in the great aunts nursing home after I was able to prove that we were not out for money, etc, or to overthrow the ruling and glad that someone was caring for her and she was okay. My grandmother was heartbroken, but had her own health to take care of. They did allow her phone calls to go through after that.
I am POA for my father for reasons that he is a lifetime alcoholic and needs someone to take care of his things after he messes up. Long story there. I do not take advantage of him and I am always spoken to from AARP and his retirement pension with some hesitation. They seem to be looking out for him, and I am glad of that.
You may be able to prove that she signed over POA when not in a good mental health if you have dr's proof. You may also be able to get visitation rights, etc if you get the family to see you do not want money and just want her to be okay, if you cannot get rid of the POA.
My mother had a rather large heart attack two years ago and we weren't sure if she would make it. Lucky for me she did. My brother is POA and he drove immediately to see her and take over. It was awful. I just kept my mouth shut until he left, as usual. He visits once a year, if that. I drove her to visit him last year as they never came to see her after she came home from the hospital. He did keep me from getting any medical info when she was in the hospital and he had the right. I just waited till he left town and stayed with a friend with my son, as I live with her when I am in the States as my home is overseas. I dread the day she passes away or becomes incapacitated. I have spoken to her about this and she is aware, but not willing to change things. Lucky for me I have a supportive husband and friends. God will prevail. Seems these kinds of things happen often.
Good luck.

I think your only option is to consult an attorney. Only an attorney can tell you if there is any way to change that power of attorney. Sorry I can't help you, but this will require an attorney to file the proper papers, if it can be done at all.