Help! Is This the Terrible Twos or Something Much Bigger?

START TALKING ABOUT APPROPRIATE & INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR! If it's not appropriate, give him an alternative as to what is or more than one choice. Talk about emotions that are appropriate and inapproprate in given situations & circumstances. We teach emotions at 3....what they are, when they are appropriate, etc.

If he continues to have these kinds of episodes ( and it may take a while depending on how long they've been going on) just don't take him to the grocery, store, etc. until he learns to behave appropriately. NOW...this may be inconvenient to you and you may have to leave him with dad, neighbor, grandma, etc, but TRUST ME....the inconvenience now will pay off in the long run.

I think it is a faze of the terrible two's and it should go away if you nip it in the bud. Everyone gave good advise. Diversion is a good trick. It works with my husband but I can't do it as well as he can! When my kids are getting on my nerves I grab them by the arm (not hard!) and make them look at me straight in the eye. I get down on their level and tell them to straighten up. It usually works. But nothing ever works ALL the time. I have the book "What To Expect The Toddler Years". It has some good information in there. But hopefully it will get better.
I am also due in April. Tax day, YEAH! :)

It's a power struggle for him. Creativity, compassion, and redirection will go a long way. Whenever my son gets to yelling, I try to get him to look at me and I tell him I know he's mad and I give him a choice. Example...He's screaming because he doesn't want to sit in the high chair for lunch. So, I get him to calm down and I tell him that that is where he sits, Baby Jordan has his chair, Mama and Daddy have their places at the table, Eli has his. Would he like to wear the red bib or the green bib? Would he like to move the chair so he has a different view today? They are just starting to realize that they have wants and needs and they don't know how to convey what they are and don't get that they can't always have what they want.
I have a friend who just took a class on redirection of toddlers and they haven't had a melt-down since. She has offered me the class materials. PM me if you want to know more when I get the information!

To me it sounds like a pretty severe case of the terrible twos. If you look at the root of just about everything you've described, it's about power. He wants to feel in control, which is a normal and important phase, and it sounds like he's having a really hard time with it. My suggestion is to look for ways to relinquish a little control - obviously, if the donut holes are at home, they are at home, but maybe he could help with his pull-up being changed (assuming no poop)? If he just wants to look at something, maybe give him 1 minute. When you are getting ready for a transition, like leaving grandma's house, give him plenty of warning and talk about what is next on the schedule - even if it's going home and going to bed, focus on a fun part, like getting to pick a story if he cooperates. The best way to make the temper tantrums stop is to completely ignore them and do not give in once you have made your decision - just keep in mind that for awhile every decision is going to have a possible fit for an outcome so choose your battles wisely. Let him know where he can go when he needs to have a fit, like in his room or crib, and that when he is ready to talk he can let you know by...(fill in the blank here)...

I also notice that you are pregnant - I'm due in March and have a 3 1/2 year old who is acting out a little bit I think because she is anxious about the baby - she's not sure how it will change things and I've definitely noticed more anxiety about that as my belly grows and we talk about it more.

i recommend The Happiest Toddler On The Block, by Dr. Harvey Karp. very very helpful!

Hi! I have a 2 yr old boy as well. I find it challenging to do any kind of shopping with him, so I only go when I absolutely have to. I also have a 6 month old, so that makes it even harder to shop. My 2 yr old doesn't like the stroller much anymore and prefers to walk. In order for him to stay close to me and to not run off, I have to look him straight into his eyes and tell him EXACTLY what I expect from him BEFORE we get to our destination. It has worked extremely well for me at stores, the zoo, etc. I always use positive reinforcement and I feel that that encourages him to try his best. Also, I have been using a time-out chair at home for when he throws things, has out-of-control fits, etc. That too had worked so far........he sits in time out for a couple minutes until I tell him again why he was there and I ALWAYS reassure him that I love him. He always gives me a hug after a time-out session. But, if he continues to cry and carry on, I have hm sit there until he calms down (he always does). I think the key is to be consistent and firm. Children thrive when they know their boundaries and know what is expected of them. I also believe that they love to have choices. That gives them a sense of control.
Oh yeah, my son used to have tantrums for long periods of time (15-20 minutes) as well and we weren't sure what to think. This happened shortly after the birth of our other son and I do believe that that was a huge factor in his behavior at that time. He has not done that in about 5 months. He may be aware that there is another baby coming and it may be causing him to act up. You would be surprised at how much they pick up on.
I wish you the best of luck- we all need it!!:)

This is DEFINITELY a 2 year old thing. My son is also 2 1/2 years old, and we had this just happen yesterday when we were in WalMart. He didn't want to sit in the cart, so i let him down to help me push the cart, and he likes to run and wander away. I catch up with him (he doesn't get far) and he screams and throws a tantrum because I tell him he has to get in the cart. Throws himself on the floor kicking and screaming. He did that when I tried to wipe his nose as well. I think it's a matter of asserting his independence. I just let him throw the tantrum, as embarrassing as it was. I waited and asked him if he was finished and talked to him about it, and then he calmed down. I get it at home too. Or when I pick him up from daycare and he doesn't have a sippy cup or something he freaks out and kicks and screams. I just turn off the music and ignore him. He usually stops within a minute. I think he's pushing his limits with me to see what he can get. It's VERY frustrating but I have always been told "This, too, shall pass". Good luck!

LOL! This reminds me of my step-son, except he was 7. I happened to have my camera next to me and I started laughing and I took a picture and scrap booked it! He has not thrown a tantrum since and it has worked with his brothers too!

I am reading this great book, called "Easy to love, difficult to discipline" by Dr. Becky Bailey. It's a great book with a different approach to disciplining. It might help you and your son. I would also consult the pediatrician to rule out anything physical and/or developmental issues.

Well, I know what you're going through. My son went through severe behavioral problems. Some of it was because of transitions in life and others may just have been growing up.

A book I read called 1-2-3-Magic helped me out quite a bit. When I need my child to do something, I give my child two options. For example, in your previously mentioned situation I might say, "You cannot have the donut. However, you can have either a "blank" or "blank" snack when we get home."

Children at this age are trying to assert independence and control. By giving them options, we are giving them some control over what happens but within reason with what we as parents can allow and then we can fulfill those requests.

To make our lives easier we give them only two options that WE choose. The child can pick one of our options or get nothing. If a fit ensues, state the whining, hitting, etc is not okay.

Begin by stating that the behavior is not appropriate. They need to use their words to express feelings. Otherwise, the chld needs to find something else to do to diffuse the hostile energy. The child might ride a bike, go outside to play, get out a favorite toy, play a game with parent or sibling, etc.

If they do not stop, then say you are going to start counting. When you get to 3, they get timeout (or some other sort of punishment that you can determine). Count slowly. The counting gives the child time to think about their actions and decide to make a better choice and weigh the consequences.

When you give a small child timeout, sometimes the thrashing around can hurt them. I used to sit on the floor away from furniture and toys and hold my son in my arms. I would make sure he had to sit in one place. He wasn't always still. He would cry and squirm and fight me. Once he reached a stage where he would sit without hurting himself or walking out of timeout, then I would sit him by himself somewhere away from activity and toys. The book suggests one minute per year of age, thus a 2 year old child receives 2 minutes of timeout.

The fit or whining may not stop during the timeout, but I let him out anyways. Often my sons would be crying, and I would give them hugs and revert their attention to some other activity to get them out of the crying and fitting zone. I always tell my boys that I love them very much and that it was only their actions or behavior that I didn't like. They need to make better decisions and listen.

After a couple week so of this, it gets better. It will be a lot of frustration for you. You really have to stick to the routine of two options, explanation of counting, and giving timeout even when you're tired and frustrated. This really helped me destress because I knew that I could follow this routine and it was getting better. I no longer felt like I would pull my hair out or want to swat his tail.

In the beginning I think I put my son into timeout like 30 times in a day. It seemed like he was in timeout all day. After a while, he changed though. It really takes consistency by you, partner, babysitters or other people that may watch your child. I encouraged my mother to follow my routine whether she agreed with me or not... and she didn't. She wanted to force my child into submission with spankin's and long talks. My child was confused and only listens to grandma because he's so scared. I don't want to scare my children into submission. I want them to learn, build respect and love and grow. The book really helped me.

I definitely agree that it is a 2-year-old thing (sometimes an older kid thing too - I taught a preschooler who initially threw herself on the ground crying and screaming when she didn't get her way).

If you do leave him to have his tantrum, make sure it is as safe of an environment as possible (nothing hard to throw or damage, not at the top of stairs, etc.), and when he's calmed down a bit make sure you tell him that when he's ready to talk you're there for him (think of it as a way to teach him an alternative to tantrums). You might end up doing the bulk of the talking, and you're teaching him important language skills (starting from "I mad" to "I was upset when we left Grandma's house.")

Best of luck! It WILL get better.

JK,

First of all, congratulations on your bun in the oven!

Sorry to say, the acting out and tantrums and fits your little man is having sounds like completely normal behavior. There's not going to be one magic button to fix it. Can I ask what you are doing while these tantrums are going on? If you are talking to him, trying to calm him, or paying him ANY kind of attention while they are happening, I think it may be the wrong thing to do.
The tantrums are actually an important growing tool that all kids have to go through in varying degrees. It honestly is his way of dealing with dissapointment. He's just got no other way to show it.
That doesn't mean it's a good thing for you though. Teach him that you don't approve by just walking away to the other room. Pick up a magazine as if you are totally oblivious. Hey, do your nails. Take some you time. Especially if you say his tantrums can last 45 minutes.
Over time he'll get the picture that the tantrums aren't going to get him anyting. No Mommy sympathy, no attention, nothing. Hey, it's hard to learn to use your words and talk it out.
We had some issues with my daughter at that age and she absolutely grew it out. Now I've got a handful of a 16 month old boy and I'm sure we are going to go through it again. I found him standing on the kitchen table a few weeks ago and he had quite a fit when I took him down. He's a little young to realize the top of the kitchen table is not an appropriate place to survey the kitchen. But he'll learn.

Good luck to you,
J.

JK,

I have a sugestion for you about this age in general. Tell him what you want him to do, not what you want him to stop doing. It will probably not work if he is in the middle of an "episode" so just leave him until he stops, but always tell him in the fewest words possible exactly what you want him to do so that he can do what you say and does not have to struggle to think about the opposite (don't scream)

As for this being typical of the age, it can be very typical but if it is particularly intense, you could be seeing the early presentation of develpmental issues. I see this often with the people that I help once the child is diagnosed later; many describe their child's behavoir at two in this way, as "episodic" I do not say this to suggest any diagnosis, just to keep an eye out for other red flags so that you don't wait if you see them. Seaking early identification can be the difference for any child, and you loose nothing by being vigalant. There are state agencies that will send developmental practioners to your home, and you need not really suspect anything to sign up, I would do this just for peace of mind.

Good luck with the new baby.

One thing that everyone can do to protect thier child's future development is to get your thyroid checked while you are pregnant!

M.

When my little guy who is almost 3 wigs out b/c let me tell you he does especially when he gets frustrated I take him right up to his crib and leave him in there so he can throw his trantrum in bed and be all alone so that he gets no reaction from me or my oldest. I tell him to let me know when he is done crying. It usually takes about 5 minutes but after no attention from anyone he usually stops fast. When we are out I have to say I use bribery there are times I just need to get things done. I take snacks ones that I only use when we are out. I get fruit snacks that he loves and teddy grahams that he is only allowed to have while we are out so they are "special" and if he is bad we of course leave the store we have had many meltdowns in Target of all places. Someone else suggested going out in the am and that is when we do our shopping if it is after 11:00 forget it my little one cannot handle it. Congrats on the new one and your little one will come around.
J. =)

I think almost every kid goes through that stage, some sooner than others. with my son i told him it was not ok and i didn't leave the store just because of his fits. we didn't live far from town, but i wasn't about to make gosh know how many trips until he could straighten up. i aksed my mom what she did for us, she said when we got out of the car at the store, she told us we could have 1 toy BUT only if we were good through the entire store and if we were then we could get a toy after she was done with her shopping. i started doing with my son(he was 2 1/2yrs at the time) and he's 6 1/2 yrs now & we still implement it. he walks beside the cart & holds on & doesn't run off cause he knows we won't get him anything(which there were a few times he left empty handed from not behaving). I didn't spend alot of money on his toys, i would take him to the 88 cent toy section and told him he could get 1 toy. since we only made trips once or twice a week to the store, i wasn't spending a whole lot. & now he brings his allowence when we go & knows if he's not good he can't buy anything. good luck & God be with you, I thought I was going to go insane there for a while.

I am going through this as well. My son will be 3 in January. What has worked best for me, as difficult as it can be is to just ignore it. I have found that after he realizes I'm not giving in, he will finally settle down. This is the age where they need to find what they can be in control of, and it is our job to keep them safe and sound.

(SMILE)...Hi JK, Welcome to the terrible twos!!! Or I should say the beginning of the horrible 3's! I have 3 girls, 12yrs, 10yrs and 2.5yrs..She'll be three in January. And its like she did a total 360 on me. And its like she just changed over night. We would have so much fun together and she would sit still and enjoy the day with me, or we'd have fun running and hollaring..just letting her be the 2yr old. All of a sudden, she's starting to bite, spit, throw hard and heavy things at us, yanks her sisters hairs and screams at the top of her lungs if she don't have her way! So guess what...yep, you guessed it...its normal behavior, their testing their independance and our patience...and guess what else...it doesn't stop there. My twelve year old argues with me...even if I am right and she wants to continue, or even if she proves me wrong...than she has to continue the arguement...But I do put them in time outs, give warnings, and still love them even more than ever! And I do let them know that. Yesterday, my 10yr. old came home in a semi good mood from school. I asked how her day went and she said, "Fine!" We talked a little bit about the day...next, her dad asked if she had homework and if she's doing it. She said the paper that was in her bag was not homework, but she's doing it cause I told her to. (Which was true)...than he kept going on at her about how its important to just study even if things to her aren't important..(He could have just let her be, but from him, he can never let anyone be)...(am trying to teach him to respect others and let them have boundaries along with the girls)..but he never lets up...so she snaps and says, I was in a good mood until I got home! (A few months ago, she was talking about running away to her older sister, because they both were mad at us for making them clean their room and they had to do the dishes). I got upset of course, and confronted her for saying mean things, plus she started cutting herself down..which even makes me more angry...So I told her that she doesn't realize who she really is hurting when she thinks and says that she's stupid, fat, ugly or she's running away..I told her that every time she hurts herself, it hurts me 2x's more and God 4x's more! It woke her up...I'm telling ya, her personality, attitued and all changed that quick! Today she was a totally different person. :) SO good luck on those terrible 2's and Horrible 3's. They do grow out of the really horrible stuff..and soon will be the sweetest all over again. Also, Have a Happy Thanksgiving & Merry Christmas!

This IS your life. God entrusted you with this child, and you are a mommy. There is a book called "Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime" by Ray Guarendi. He has a website and a call in show that is very good. Check here for more details: http://www.drray.com/

God Bless!

I know how frustrating this can be. I have been going through the EXACT same thing with my 2 1/2 year old son. It has been going on now for a month or better. It's like the terrible twos on steriods!!
Every time I take him out I know it's going to be a struggle so I just prepare for it. Last night we were out to eat at a pizza plate with my in laws and he threw his plate on the floor and it broke. of coarse the whole restraunt caught quite and everyone looked this way. Luckily the waitress was very understanding and made me feel better. I just come to accept that he is bad.
We have been trying all different sorts of disciplne with him and nothing is working either.
Sorry I don't have any advice to help, all I know is I have a 4 1/2 year old son too and he fine now, so it will pass eventually.

GOOD LUCK!!

I'm experiencing much of the same things with my 16 month old I hate to see how bad it is going to get in the next few months. I guess I try to be consistent and not give in. If I say "no" I try to stick to it. I know it is hard. We don't go out much except first thing in the morning. It is the only time he seems to be the least bit agreeable then I still have to hurryor he won't sit in the cart for long. I keep trying the activity over and over I'm still hoping he will cathc on which the other kids did. I have a hubby that is very busy this time of year gone at work all day then to basketball practice and so I often feel like he is doing what he wants and I'm home taking care of everybody yet again. I find that if I want to do somthing and plan for it days in advance and keep reminding him daily, like, "Don't forget you have to put the kids to bed Wednesday night I'm going shopping after dinner." I'll start reminding everyday until Wednesday comes.

I wish, because I'm a mom for the third time, I had a magical answer for you but I don't, no one really will, we can only give you ideas. Each child is so different it is hard to know what to do. Just keep trying read the advice you get and hold on to what sounds good try it for a couple of weeks if it doesn't work try again. Don't give up I'm on the boat with you and you aren't alone. Good Luck.

oooooh!! i remember that! i'm in between right now, with a 4 year old and one who just turned two... so that'll be me again in a few months i'm sure....

when he's calm, talk about his behavior. that always works better than in the middle of a tantrum. tell him it's not acceptable and if he does that it won't work. tell him what you are going to do (put him in his room till he calms down, or go out to the car, etc) so he knows what to expect from you, and be consistent as much as possible. most importantly talk him through what he can do to cope with it. singing a song, or punching a pillow, eating a snack, or using words like "i'm mad" instead of screaming... something like that.

go shopping, do what you need to, but be flexible. if you have to go outside to the car in the middle of a shopping trip to calm down, do it. take toys to restaurants, and go for little field trips while you're waiting for the food (let's go find the kitchen and look through the window to see them making your dinner! or walk around a little bit)

tell your husband that you get the next day out. so before he goes deer hunting again he has to let you go shopping all by yourself!

also remember most people understand "the terrible twos" so don't stress about what other people think.

Wow! This sounds VERY familiar. I was in the same boat two years ago. First let me tell you that it does get better! At the time, my husband and I were at the end of our rope. We stopped taking my son places and we were going crazy at home. When he turned 3 (and our second baby was born) he really grew up and out of the crazy behavior overnight. The best advice I can give is to be extremely consisitent. Focus on the good behavior. Encourage your husband to take him on outings (they will become good buddies when the baby is born), and deal with the negative behaviors with time-out or take away a special toy or priviledge. I wish you luck!

JK - I'm not trying to panic you, just raise your awareness because your "mom" instincts are usually right.

If you are being literal that he is having tantrums for 30 minutes, 45 minutes and is also violent with it (kicking, biting,banging his head, throwing things, etc.) and you are unable to calm him or leave your house because of it, I would consider that he might have some developmental issues going on. It is normal for kids this age to have tantrums that last several minutes, but not that long. Even though they are little and they aren't able to reason like grown-ups, they should still be able to modulate their behavior after a few minutes.

I don't want to project my situation onto yours, but in all honesty, I have a special needs child and this sounds very familiar to me when he was that age. People didn't believe me when I told them I couldn't go anywhere with my son. They just assumed it was the same as their experience with tantrums and that I was likely exaggerating a bit or just lazy as I had another small child close in age. I wasn't, and my later therapists said, "He doesn't have regular tantrums, does he?" It was the first time someone acknowledged for me that I wasn't misjuding my experiences and they were more challenging than what other people were going through.

My son would go boneless, drop in the middle of a parking lot (or anywhere else, restaurants were impossible) for no good reason and screech as the top of his lungs like someone was hurting him. If these things match your experience, or you think they might, there's nothing wrong with making an appointment with your pediatrician to see if something is going on or having him assessed by a team of experts. Especially if he's non-verbal (you didn't say.) With autism and related developmental disorders, very early intervention is key. You wouldn't think my son was the same kid today.

If the tantrums are NOT lasting that long and you feel it is just like everyone's else's experience, I would recommend the book, "1-2-3 Magic." It takes the emotion out of the discipline experience so that you are able to stay calm and feel less stressed by it. It also gives your child a chance to get control of himself and make a choice. I know a few moms, including me, who use it and it works pretty well.

Good Luck!

start putting him in the corner for time out. let him scream and kick there, and don't let him out until he stops. eventually he will get it, and not act up b/c he doesn't want to be in the corner. my nephew is the same way, he has gotten better he is 3 now. it has a little to do w/being 2 but not all of it. good luck

My son never did this but daughter was the queen of fits. IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE. We were shopping and she started in on something. I looked at my son and at the sales lady and said "We are all going to turn away." All three of us crossed our arms and turned our backs and didn't look at my daughter until she stopped. It only took about 3 seconds, she stopped, and she never did it in public again. i think the key was that all of us turned away, including her 5 year old brother. She saw that he was one of the grown ups and not "on her side"

What ever you do be consistent. If you punish him one time then make sure you do it everytime. My son is going through the terrible 3's which is a little easier because I can talk to him and have him talk back to me to make sure he is understanding the boundaries. But I feel like some days all I am doing is saying the same thing over and over. I went to the mall the other day (also have a 15 month old) and I just kept punishing him. (making him sit in the stroller) I understand that it is hard just hang in there. I know I am not giving much advice but know that there are other mothers out there going through the same thing. But again whatever you do be CONSISTENT. Also I would sit your husband down and figure out times that you can go and get things done. The weekend is usually when I go grocery shopping. I put the kids down for nap and my husband just has to stay at home to listen for them. I would figure out a schedule that allows you to both do things. We have even done a workout schedule that on 3 nights I get to work out and 3 nights he gets to work out. Just so we have some time for ourselves. I hope this helps out a little. Hang in there Your not the only one!

My daughter had the same problem, and we began to notice that it happened more when she was tired (and only as little as 20 minutes less sleep a night can be devastating for her) or when there were transitions and she had to hurry. We also noticed that it increased whenever I didn't have as much time to spend with her. When she got old enough to express herself well, she said things like, "When the younger ones are born, the oldest just gets pushed farther and farther away," and, "I'd rather have mad mommy here than no mommy."

It became evident that she was tired and wanted more attention from me in particular, so we made sure that she had more than enough sleep and I started praising every little thing she did even remotely well. I also treated her more baby-ish, doing things like holding her and carrying her more, at times when she was calm and not misbehaving. I make a concentrated effort to spend one-on-one time with her. Those things have made all of the difference. If I don't give her the positive attention, she is perfectly happy to settle for the negative attention.

She is older than yours (she's almost seven now), but it all started when she was about two. Ignoring her just infuriated her. I am not saying that doesn't work sometimes, but I think in her case it needed to be done with a huge amount of affection and love later, when she was being calm again.

One other thing I have noticed is that my daughter is pretty intelligent and understands a lot of what is happening around her. However, she does not really have the emotional reserves yet to deal with everything, so if there is tension with my husband and me or if I'm really tired or sick or have to work more, she picks up on the underlying stress and reacts in that lovely way that creates more stress. Maybe with the new baby your son is beginning to feel in some way the anticipation and stress

So, best of luck. Hope this is fixed soon. It is hard, but it gets much better. And I know it's hard to have a positive attitude about a child who is so difficult to handle. There is a lot of guilt involved in that, too, at least for me.

Yes, this is typical toddler behavior. He's frustrated due to lack of communcation skills. We're encountering this with our 2 year old already.

If you're going to the grocery store, I don't know if you can give him a little task here and there - include him in it. "Okay - we need to get carrots. Do you see carrots?" Then hand them to him and let him throw them in the cart, and say, "YEAH!!! Oh that was a big help! Okay - now we need to find the bananas....do you see those?" Once we did that with our now 5 year old when she was 2, the trips to the store became easier.

Oh - and with the DH doing whatever he wants? My sister had that dilemma...then she told him for every 3 hours he goes to play golf, she gets 3 hours to go to "ladies night out" (with her friends). When he gets back from deer hunting - you get to go "bargain hunting" or whatever.

One of the other things my sister did with her boys...I remember being in Target with her and her oldest, and he said "I want gum." He was probably 3. She said, "I know." HE said, "I want gum." SHe said, "well, you know what you have to do then, don't you?" He said, "Be a good boy," and he was. When we went to check out - she asked what kind of gum he wanted and let him have some. Of course, it'll take some time to engrain in him that if he is patient he will get what he wants, and getting to that point will be hard, but worth it.

If you go to restaurants, here's something that's really helped us with our kids- a "booty bag". It's a small diaper bag that we have a small container of wipes, a change of booty covering(s), and more importantly, a few toys, some graham crackers, a cup of applesauce, a sippy cup with a lid, and an 8 oz. bottle of water. Make sure he's just on the verge of getting hungry so that when you pull out the sippy cup and graham crackers or apple sauce or goldfish crackers, then he'll actually sit and eat/drink. Make sure when you go to restaurants, that you aren't going at "peak time" - that way the waiter has time to deal with getting extra ketchup or a few extra napkins or getting some applesauce out to you and it not taking an eternity. We also like going to this Pizza King at 79th and Fall Creek. One of the owners used to be a teacher, and has a little table set up for the kids that has crayons, pages to color, little tik-tak-toe boards, etc. and if you go there when it's not very busy, the kids can "run around" just a little (it isn't a very big place). WHen we go to Red Lobster, our oldest likes to watch the lobsters in the tank - we tell her if she's good, and does a good job with her dinner, then we'll go watch the lobsters for a little bit. That's a place that has applesauce too - and 1 or two of the wait staff there will go ahead and bring out a dish of applesauce - if they don't, go ahead and ask them to do that.

Just a few thoughts.....good luck!

Hate to tell ya, but it's very typical toddler behavior...especially for a boy! lol I have 2 boys, myself. My oldest is 8 and my youngest is 2½ also. It can be trying at times, I know!! Just keep your cool, stick to your guns and don't give in. My youngest threw a major screaming and crying temper tantrum, just last week, in the grocery store. He wanted cookies from the bakery and this once, I said ok. That's not a typical thing for me to do. I said we'd open them as soon as we paid for them. Well, that was not going to work for his little world. For the last 4 aisles, he screamed & cried and carried on, trying to twist around in the cart, etc. I stuck to my guns...even when getting "the look" from other customers. I passed one lady who said "Oh I remember those days" and kinda chuckled. I said "yeah, he wants the cookies now and I said not until we get to the register". She was encouraging, which is a change. So many people, I think, forget what it's like to have small children who just don't understand our adult logic. So it was nice to have the customers who were there, not get mean or anything. Once we got to the register, I asked the cashier if it was OK to go ahead and open them, and she was cool with that. Once he got his cookie, he didn't make a peep, lol. It may be torturous for US, as the parents, but what other way will they learn, unless disciplined and us carrying out the 'sentence' we set. So just hang in there. It may seem never-ending, but I promise, it WILL pass. As he gets older, he will understand more. At 2½, it's still hard for their little minds to understand. They are all about "ME ME ME". And that's all they know. So I try to keep that in my mind, too. Good luck!

He is testing you. It seemed like the day that all 3 of mine turned 2, someone had flipped a switch! I am a firm believer in ignoring these fits. The more I reacted to the fits, the bigger they became. You may get glares from the surrounding public at first, but if you react, your son will react. Of course, I would start slowly with this. When you are leaving grandma's and the fit starts, ignore it. Continue to get him ready to leave and make sure that grandma doesn't react either. Say your goodbye's and keep moving along as nothing is happening. The fits became increasingly short-lived when I started doing this, and they eventually stopped. Good luck!