Help Getting 19 Month Old Asleep in His Big Boy Bed!

i say just keep doing what you are doing. when he gets up just tell him "no, you have to stay in bed" and walk him back to his room and get him in bed. you might want to start by just standing outside his door so you don't have to do so much walking LOL

My daughter is in a bed now too and she plays the same game. The only advice I have is to keep putting him back in bed the minute he gets out. I sometimes have to put my daughter back in bed 5 times before she stays. And you might want to start wind down time a little earlier. Maybe take a warm bath or give something hot and thick to eat like slow cook oatmeal sweetened with applesauce (not sugar!). He's young but you can start talking to him about the importance of staying in his bed to sleep. I think by December he should be staying in his bed. Just don't let him stay up once he gets out. It can be tiring but he will stop doing this. Congrats on your Christmas baby!

I may be redundant here (since I didn't read the other posts). We moved our son to his big boy bed at about the same age. We pulled a Super Nanny on him. The first 2 or 3 times, we would tell him that he is not allowed out of bed and if he gets out, we are putting him back in. Night-night time. Then, come the 4th time and so on, we didn't speak or make eye contact with him. We gently put him in his bed, covered him up and walked out of the room. Now, it was about 4 nights of MISERY! I am not exaggerating when I say we put him back in his bed maybe 60+ times that first night. We did this for about 2 hours straight. It was ridiculous! He would be out of his bed before I could even get out of his door. I had no idea this is what had to be done. He finally got tired and realized we weren't giving in. The next few nights he tested us a bit too. ...but not as bad as the first night. Like I said, after about 4 nights he figured it out and gave up. He's a champion sleeper now. Even at 4, he's pretty darn good at staying put (even when he doesn't want to). Good luck!

Hi! I am no expert, but I know it took me 2-3 weeks to get my son, 19mos at the time, to stay in his bed.. I would do the "supernanny" thing.. the first time he got up, I would grab his hand, say it's bedtime, and take him back. Everytime following, and it was ALOT, I would say nothing, and simply put him back in his bed..no communication. This was about 10-15 times a night, and lessened til finally at about 2 weeks, he got the point and gave up. Now he sleeps all night and doesn't come out. I also invested in a tension baby gate at the top of the stairs/hallway, so he can leave his room if he needs to, but cannot wander around the house at night..
Hang in there.. it is a HARD thing to do, and one that not alot of mommies tell you about!

Although this may be hard, after reading/singing to him, just leave the room. He will more than likely cry, but assure him that all will be ok. If he gets up, just take him back to bed. After a few trips back to his bed, do not say anything. This could become worse and could go on for hours, but after a regular routine of this, it will work. My daughter is 5 and I sometimes still have to do this for her. Good luck

It took me about a month before I got my daughter settled in her bed. Since I too was expecting #2, and couldn't have her walking around the house. So I put one of those safety handles on her door knob so she hasn't yet learned how to open the door with it on. Just stick to a routine. Don't let up, and he will come around. Good luck.

Consistancy. It will take hours perhaps but you got to stick with it. He will figure out reall quick that when its bed time you have to stay there. I am glad you are trying to nip this problem in the bud now. I have friends whos kids bed time is 9 well thats the first time they go to bed. They are in and out of that bed like little jumping beans there 5 and 9!!! I was terrified to get out of bed when I was little...unless I had a nitemare or if I was sick. We got spanked if we played that game. I think consistancy and putting him back in bed and saying sternly the first few times its bed time do not get out of bed again, good night. Should work then after that dont say anything not even good night just keep putting him in bed. Congrats on the new baby. I havent personally reached this stage yet. It is what they do on nanny 911 show. And what my parents did for me. Good luck and God bless.

We put a doorknob cover on the inside of our daughter's bedroom door. You probably have a baby monitor, so you'll know if your son is really distressed, or is just fussy b/c he wants out. And, for the first three days or so, you'll probably find that he has slept on a pile of clothes or stuffed animals on the floor, but that's okay - our daughter figured out that her bed was more comfortable for sleeping, and I'm sure your son will, too. Remember, you have set up your son's room as a safe place for him to be, and nightime is no more unsafe in his room than daytime is. It would probably be more unsafe for him to wake up in the night and wonder around the house while you are sleeping! Also, I would make sure to wake him at his accustomed time in the morning, just to be sure he doesn't stay up all night playing. And if the dark is a problem (w/ his door closed!), I highly recommend the MOBI TykeLight nightlight. It charges during the day, and unplugs at night, so your son can have it right there in bed with him (it keeps the light with him, and the shadows on the other side of the room). We also started keeping a sports bottle w/ a straw in our toddler's bed, so we no longer hear the "want a dink of wawer" excuse. Hang in there, mama! He'll get it!

Hi M.,

Have you ever watched the Super Nanny show? She deals with this in families all the time and her method is the same with every family and it always works!

You do your routine, then say good night, lights out and close the door.

If your child comes out once- you say, it's time for bed (or your choice of words) and take them back. Tuck them in and close the door.

If they come out again- you DO NOT speak to them and carry them back to bed and close the door again.

You may have to do this for a few hours the first night, but I PROMISE you- if you are consistant- every night it will get less and by the 3rd or 4th night your son should be sleeping well- knowing he can't get attention anymore by coming out.

That is what kids are looking for- to be acknowledged and engaged (like you said- it is a game to him). So the no speaking thing is a HUGE part of the success rate of this practice.

If you have to carry or partially drag your child in tantrum (as I watched other parents have to do) that is alright. It will upset you to have them fighting you, or crying- but you have to be consistant.

So maybe start it on a weekend, when you know you can deal with less sleep.

First night- bed routine, lights out and close door.
First time child comes out- tell them it's bed time and put them back.
Second time they come out and every time after- NO SPEAKING, and continue to put your child back in bed.

I have seen this practice work time and time again. And usually the kids give in by the 3rd or 4th night much to the astonishment of parents. I was even shocked the first time I watched it.

The thing that feels scary is that it feels like it will go on forever, but the parents see the results within such a short few days that they keep up with it.

There is a Super Nanny book too that can talk you through this as well.

There will be lots of opinions on this, so I hope mine doesn't offend anyone- but I know this works, and with only a few short days of disruption/upset you will have the REWARD of children sleeping well and parents resting too.

What do you normally do for defiance? He's made it a game, and your awesome routine needs a better ending than him inserting his will to stay up over your need for him to sleep.
Try having him lie in bed while you read books and then sing. We add a nighttime prayer and blessing, then I firmly state, "I love you, your dad loves you, Jesus loves you. Close your eyes and go to sleep now." I tuck in the covers kiss his forehead, and head for the door. No more choice as to how the routine works...you must insist on the same routine every night and little guy must stay in bed. Just doing it the same (which it sounds like you're doing) should be enough, but your are entering the days of exerting the will and yours needs to be firm and stronger, or he will give you no peace and he will have no comfort in the out of wack relationship.
Decide what you are going to do for when he won't obey and stick to it. Don't think you can explain and rationalize the need to the 19 month old. Just enforce your consequence quickly (time out or a swat or whatever you do to convey that there needs to be a change in behavior) put him back in bed turn off the light and try the sweet routine the next night. (and hopefully this won't be part of the routine :)...it shouldn't be especially if you are consistent.
By the way this may be easier with the next children, because so many times they see routine you've started with the older child and want to do it too.
Our 15 month old has been going to sleep with his eyes open in his crib, because his 3 year old brother is put to bed with the same routine. He just wants to be like the others.
Good luck!

hello fellow Austinite, you sound like you are doing a great job. Keep up what you are doing but be constant about putting him back to bed and do it without a word, smile, smirk, giggle, nothing! It is play time because his "favorite toys" (you) play back with your face, comments, giggles. Be as neutral as possible. If you say anything let it be the first time and let it be something like "Your bed time is now, good night and I love you-kiss_" then keep returning him to his bed until he falls asleep. Remember, he has nothing better to do but try and try again. As long as he can tell that you mean business and no fun or anger are coming from this he will give in. Children really do not discriminate about attention wether it be positive or negative.
good luck and stick to your guns,
H.-mother of 5