Need Sleep Advice

I would try putting a baby gate in the doorway of her bedroom. She won't be able to get out of the room, but it won't be as scary as having the door closed. Eventually, she'll learn that there's nothing exciting to get up for and fall asleep (although it may not be in her bed at first.) Good luck! :)

Don't deprive her of her naps, as it probably makes her over-tired and wired by the time she's supposed to be going to sleep for the night.

This just happened to a close friend of mine, and she had read about the net/tent you can buy to go over the crib to prevent the child from climbing out. She said her daughter loves it, and climbing out is no longer an issue. The two year old now naps and sleeps at night time in her crib again. I wish I knew about this when my daughter was 2 and my son was a newborn, those months of transitioning to a toddler bed and giving up naps were extremely challenging and I was extremely sleep deprived. So, if you haven't gotten rid of her crib, put it back up and get the tent thing that goes over it and prevents her from climbing out.

hyperactivity is a sign of sleep deprivation.

try having quiet time in the after noon. she may or may not fall asleep, but having the down time will give her a chance to regroup.

the night time routines will also help her to antcipate what will happen next.

The key phrase being that your schedule fell apart just this week. Sounds like you have a great bedtime routine, just stay with it!! It's your way or the highway :) Personally, I never think that laying down with the kids is a good idea because then they don't put themselves to sleep. You're already so involved in the routine w/o having to be in bed with her too. Pat her while SHE'S in the bed and do what that Supernanny does...just make it clear what she is to do at bedtime and KEEP putting her back in there. Maybe the first night is 20 times but we all hope that subsequent nights are fewer :) Good luck!

Hey there, I know all about that "drop dead tired" feeling... It's so hard, but we actually tried the "super nanny" approach. Don't know if you've ever seen her show, but she did a trick where she would place the child in bed after a very normal bedtime routine and then would have the parent stay in the room, but away from the bed (like sitting on the floor near the bed). Every time the child would get up she'd have the parent calmly get up and place the child back down in the bed and then sit back down. Eventually the child would not get up any more and would stay in the bed. I should tell you that during the whole process the parent is not supposed to speak or look at the child.Of course there is a ton of crying and it is very hard on your patience. The first time we tried it I was in the room for almost two hours with a very upset and screaming child before he finally fell asleep, but the next time it was only about 25 minutes and the next night I felt comfortable leaving the room before he fell asleep and he stayed in the bed. Each night you're supposed to move a bit closer to the door and eventually you can leave like we did. Good luck. I hope you get your routine back.

We had the same issue with DS at 18 months. I didn't like the crib tent idea. Just seemed so clausterphobic for a little one...JMO though.

So after a week of no one getting any sleep we decided to get one of those cheap wooden door gates from Wal Mart. We put that up at naptime and nighttime. After a few days he got the hint. Sleep time meant that he had to stay in his room until I came to get him. He is now 3 and we just took the gate down permanently because he is potty training. But we keep it nearby and he knows that he can either play quietly or sleep during nap time, but he cannot come out of his room until I call for him. If he tries to come out of his room he knows that I will put the gate back up, and he hates that.

Before potty training, he was so used to having the gate up, that he would have a hard time falling asleep knowing that the gate wasn't up. But once we put it up again, he would fall asleep right away. Weird.

S.

Hi C.,

It sounds like you have a wonderful routine that works very well for you. Moving your daughter into a big girl bed just doesn't fit her idea of the old routine. Until she adjusts you might want to try getting her really excited about her new bed. My daughter loved picking her new bedding and "helping" to put her new bed together then putting on the new sheets and pillow. It may already be too late to do this with her but maybe a flashlight, stuffed toy, book or some other fun object that could join her to make the new bed less strange and more fun.

Good Luck!!

Hey C.,

I saw your question and I just wanted to let you know your not alone. I don't have any good advice for you but I went through a sleeping problem with my now 3 1/2 yr old daughter. I have a 10 yr old that was a great baby. Sleeping was no problem, tantrums were few. Then I had my little one and things were SO different. She was either colic or just not an easy baby but up until probably 6 to 8 months ago, no one in our house got any sleep. She always cried in her crib and even when she went to the toddler bed, she wouldn't stay in her bed. Bedtime was a nightmare for a year and a half. I would watch supernanny and say okay this will work. And we did the whole staying calm and walking her back to bed a million times and it just never got better. She is so stubborn. We would sit with her at night at the foot of her bed and just wait until she went to sleep. This would sometimes take two hours. I was at my wits end, and then one day (I swear this is true) I was bracing for another night of crying and screaming, and I said it's time for bed, and she said ok and I laid her down and gave her a kiss and she went to sleep! She didn't ask me to stay with her and she didn't come out once. It was like a light switch. She just stopped. Ever since it's been 100 percent better. She started to ask again if we would stay with her and I said no that she was a big girl and had to sleep by herself but I would come back and check on her. So now we do that. I put her to bed and then I come back in about a minute and just whisper "I love You" and then I go back again in three minutes and do the same. I start spreading out the minutes after each time I check on her. I think just knowing were not leaving them in the dark and that were right in the other room by checking on them really helps. Good luck and your not alone. :)

Wow C.
I remember the days of broken or no sleep. My son didn't sleep throught the night unitl he was 9 months old and I was seriously looney toons and ready to be committed.

He also learned how to crawl out of his crib at around 2 and 3 month and we had a week of in and out of the bed 100 times a day thinkng it was a game. But within a week he went back to waiting for us to come get him. And unfortunatley I have no advise it sounds like you are doing everything I did with the schedule and the structure. But All I can say to you is that "this too shall pass" and once things start to get good again that will change too. I keep in mind whenever it's going really well that he will throw a cruve ball soon. I hope your youngest gets through this faze quickly and that you find some sleep soon.

Also your body issues.... I have been carrying this extra 25 pounds in a not so nice place (my butt and tummy)for nearly 3 years now I am right there with you in not liking the way my body has taken new shape. But I have to say It's starting to melt off and change you just have to make the time and put yourself first 15 min a day and remember you are worth it and you'll be a happier mommy for it.

J. B Fullerton, Ca

Cristina, I have a 4 yr old boy who was(and is) easy. My 19 month old daughter is tough. She is stil in her crib and used to get to sleep no problem. Then all of a sudden, she refuses to go to bed. Screaming until she vomits, crying for hours. My husband and I tried everything - schedule, no schedule, laying by her....you know the story. It has taken months to get her into a groove. For a while, I was so tired that I just let her cuddle with me on the couch reading or watching a movie until she fell asleep and then put her in her crib. At least that got her body on a sleep schedule.Two things helpedto get her to go to bed. One was having all 4 of us turn out the lights in the house and go to the kids room (they share) together and tuck everyone in and sing a goodnight song together. Then our helpful son talked to her and tried to keep her company after we left the room (we hid out in our room so she didn't think she was missing any fun). Some nights this helped, some not. The other thing that helped was having my husband do the bedtime thing. She responds very differently to him. With me she just wants to be held, he is less cuddly and tells her in a forceful but kind way that she has to go to sleep. I have friends whose son kept leaving his room and they just locked him in for a couple of nights. Pretty harsh but it just took 2 or 3 nights and now he stays in. A supernanny episode had parents with kids who did the same thing and she told them to just wordlessly, physically put them in their bed, tell the kids they had to stay and leave the room. When the kids got up, they went back and put them in bed again. This happened over and over - they never said a word to the kids (to not give them the attention they were trying to get), just kept putting them back in bed. My gut feeling is the transition is rough and her body will just need sleep and get into a groove. Hope this gave you a new idea. Good luck

You are the parent, you decide what she does.

I have a 4 year old and a 2.5 year old with #3 on the way (two miscarriages before #3, don't give up).
My 4 year old transitioned to a bed at age 3. My 2.5 year old daughter is still in the crib (next to my son's bed) and can climb anything. We just, sternly, don't allow her to climb into or out of it, without exception. And that's that. If she even feigns climbing into or out of the crib, she is punished (she's very willful, unlike my son) and it has prevented her from getting out of the crib.
In the mornings, she will call for us to get her out, even when her brother has left the room; she stays put.
Bottom-line: you decide what she should do.

Even though your daughter is not confined to a crib, tell her when she may get out of bed: when the sun comes up, when you call her, when the alarm goes off, etc. YOU DECIDE!

BE strong and good luck

Have you torn down the crib? When this happened with my daughter (my son was easy too), the pediatrician suggested keeping both the crib and Big Girl Bed in her room for a week or 2. This way she adjusts more easily because she feels she has a choice. We put her in her crib at night for her own sense of security and let her take naps in the new bed for the first few days. Then we let her choose which bed to sleep in at night. We had both beds in her room for 6 days, before she chose her new bed.
Another thing could be side rails. If the new bed you bought doesn't have them, maybe put some on. They are use to be confined to a crib, so the rails help them feel secure.
Good luck. I know it can be frustrating and exhausting. Especially with a toddler.

Hi C.,

My daughter always hated her crib. We never used it and finally put it in storage. She transitioned from co-sleeping with Mama to her own bed when she was 2 and a half and had not problems with it.

My son liked his crib and slept well in there pretty much from the time he was born. He was very attatched to his "Cozy Crib" so we didn't put him in a big boy bed when he started climbing out of his crib. We just let him climb out. Eventually I removed the side. That made things a little easier. Finally when he was 3 and a half he barely fit in it and we had to transition him. It took him a good week to relax into his own bed. He would cry for his crib!

As for your daughter, she might relate her crib to sleeping. Without the crib she might be a bit confused.

She might also be napping too long. I transitioned my son out of naps around 2 because he wouldn't go to sleep until late at night if he had one. This might very well be what's happening with your daughter.

I would also try to stop with the show right before bed. Both my kids tend to get wound up if they watch anything on TV before bed. We had a no TV after dinner rule.

Finally I would keep on laying down next to her in her big girl bed until she gets used to it. Eventually she will start sleeping again, and so will you.

Hi-

I have a 27 month old and tried unsuccessfully to transition him to a big bed- so we went back to a happy sleep routine in his crib. He is quite big,and climbed out a couple of times, until my husband drilled a couple of holes in the frame to lower the mattress as low as it can go ( without touching the floor). He is really happy in his crib, AND CAN't get out! I read the book "Healthy sleep habits, HAppy Baby"- which is great!!!!- and he suggests waiting until your child is closer to 3, and asks for a big bed, and then they won't want to get out! Good luck! :)

Try putting a pillow on the floor and laying down next to her bed. Turn all the lights off, even night lights. Make this fun like it's special - "mommy is sleeping in your bedroom!" Once she is assleep get up and turn the night light on. Good Luck.

Hi C.,

My 2-year old son, recently started climbing out of his crib, and we invested in the crib tent. I was a little leary b/c I thought it might freak him out, but he was 100% fine with it; never cried, didn't seem scared. The crib tent is like a big, mesh, dome over the crib that zips open and closed. Now he sleeps peacefully through the night, and takes 3 hour naps during the day. Also, we were able to attach his mobile remote to the crib rails, and he can control the music and lights on his mobile all by himself!

If the crib is no longer an option for you, I think the best advice would be for you to continue implementing a structured bed time routine. If daughter gets out bed, return her to her bed as many times as it takes. She may wear you out for several weeks, but eventually she will realize that you are not giving in, and that she needs to stay in bed. Make sure she has a few favorite dolls or books in bed with her that she can use to help fall asleep. I wouldn't recommend laying down with her, because then she will come to expect this, and won't be able to fall asleep without you!

Good luck!

I give my kids liquid calcium (either Blue Bonnett or Lifetime - bluberry flavore, since the other ones they hated!) and it's a natural nervous system relaxant. Most kids need more calcium (and not from dairy - unless it's not pasteurized) especially at gorwth spurts. This helps them relax at night and sleep...as well as they won't get leg (growing) pains, etc.

The other thing I gave my oldest son who is now 5, is adrenal extract in the am, called Drenamin. It's natural and works well to reset their adrenals glands. In fact, I know a lot of moms who have given it (just one sometimes) and their kids are much more even, rather than a rollercoaster.

I'd try a tablespoon of calcium at NIGHT first...it's cheap and it works!

We had the same problem with our son. I had to sleep-train him all over again. Talk up the big girl bed, and how great it is to be such a big girl. Stick with the normal bedtime routine, but try staying in the room with her until she falls asleep. If she gets out of bed, threaten her with having to sleep in the crib (baby bed). Follow through, if she keeps getting out of bed. If she has to sleep in the crib one night because she keeps getting out of bed, she'll take you seriously. Then you may have to stay in the room for a few weeks, until she gets used to the routine. Then wean her off you staying in the room by leaving the room after she's settled down and seems like she's going to fall asleep. If she gets out of bed, threaten her with the crib. Follow through if she keeps getting up. Be consistent and firm, and know that this may take awhile (it took us months) but it will finally work.

C.,

You might try picking up a tent that goes over the crib (Babies R'Us has them) and setting it back up in the room along with the big girl bed. Let her know that if she is a big girl and stays in her bed she can sleep in it. If not she will have to sleep in the baby bed. If she likes the big bed it might help. We did a little of this with my 2 year old and he would get extremely upset if we were going to put him in the baby bed. He isn't perfect but after a few short iterations each night stays in just fine. Best of luck I understand the exhaustion all too well!

S. F

The same thing happened to me.
My friend suggested that I put a tall baby gate up at my sons doorway when it was time for bed. That way he couldnt get out yet he wouldnt feel alone and shut out.
I took away the crib and put the mattress on the floor so he wouldnt get hurt if he fell off the bed. It worked like a charm.
If interested in a natural product that will help your child sleep more soundly try Mona Vie. It has helped my friends
1 1/2 yr old daughter start sleeping all night long.

I have had other remarkable results from the same product. If interested here is my website on the product. www.TheGreatProduct.com/AHsighEE

HI C.,
Have you considered or thought of using essential oils to relax her? When she does go to sleep, does she wake up througout the night or does she stay asleep? Let me know and I may be able to recommend an essential oil to apply to her to help her relax and sleep thru the night.
C. Tanaka, DC
Family Wellness Chiropractor
www.naturallifechiro.com

Have you tried starting a bed time routine? Like eat dinner, bath, read story, pray, and lights out. I leave a night light on my 5 year olds room and he likes that and I leave the door open. He goes to bed at 7:30pm every night. She probably needs consistency and a routine. You may have to stay with her until she falls asleep so take some books with you to read. No naps? She probably needs to get back on that in the day or at least have down time for an hour and have her look through books or listen to calming music alone. So she knows that this is down time and not play time. You will have to explain it to her in simple terms too. Good luck!

The crib tent was a god send for me. I am a HUGE advocate of them!!!! So I would say go back to the crib, invest in a crib tent and zip her up and shut the door. I kept mine (twins) in it until they were 3 years 3 months! I needed the nap time, even if they didn't fall asleep it was still a rest time for them and a much needed break for me. If you cant do that, then super nanny (the show on TV) seems to have some great tips on sleep training. But the main thing is diligence and CONSISTANCY, CONSISTANCY, CONSISTANCY!! If your daughter sees you are not going to break/give in she will have no choice but to follow the routine. Either she is not ready or she is working you! You could also try having a concequence for getting out of bed... good luck!

I would ditch the tv show - move it up a few hours - and create a cozy settling in atmosphere. She can help go round and turn off the lights, you can light a candle and carry it back there and read a story to its light. There is something special about that. See what else could be stimulating her. Snuggle and rock ahead of time so she starts winding down. Also perhaps start bedtime earlier - even much earlier like 7:00 stories. Sometimes, especially when transitioning from naps, children are tired but their window of opportunity gets passed by and then they are overtired - unable to go to sleep.

I also use Calmes Forte and Sleep Balm or Rescue Remedy Sleep with my kids - helps them relax. You can also use lavendar and other calming essential oils.

We listen to Joanne Shenandoah's "Matriarch" CD (Iroquois Womens' Songs) at bedtime and they really condition us (me included) to start getting sleepy as soon as we hear it. A soothing CD can do wonders - something you'd hear when getting a massage or facial. Maybe have turning on the CD player as part of her routine and then you just snuggle down to listen and doze - or even put on the music (after the wonderful candlelight story) and give her a massage while she lays there. Child massage is wonderfully calming - you can get a book or look online for massage techniques that are relaxing. When my son stopped nursing to sleep, my husband would lay with him and rub his back & arms (while listening to our CD). If you've ever had a massage you may remember how relaxed and sleepy you might have been during/after!

Hope some of this helps,

Hi C.,
I got my son a bed around the same time - when he was 2 1/2. He hated the crib and he was too big for it. However, I left the crib in the room with the bed for several months so he could transition to the bed. As much as he would tell me that he hated the crib, he asked to be in there much of the time. If you are concerned about your daughter climbing out, there is a mesh top you can put over the crib to keep your daughter in (until she figures out how to open it like my niece did.).

It was a little cramped in his room but I think it made him feel like he had the choice and his crib wasn't just taken away from him. He was able to transition at this own pace. As you know, 2 year olds are creatures of habit and don't like their environment changed too drastically.

I think taking away naps is not a good idea because it ultimately makes kids overtired then they don't sleep - that's why your daughter won't go to sleep until midnight. Try getting her to nap then start a new sleep time routine at her normal bed time. After a couple of weeks she will hopefully go back to sleeping normally.

Hope this helps.

Good luck!

L.

I know how you feel. When I first switch my daughter to a toddler bed it was really difficult. I tried everything you did. Finally I just started locking her in her room. If she napped fine. If not at least I got an hour or so to myself. At night I would lay in the room with her, if she got out of her bed I would put her back in a couple of times and then if she got out again I would leave and lock her in. The first few nights were really hard because she would scream and cry for a looong time, but it finally got easier. She now sleeps in her bed without me being in there just fine. It usually just takes her a while to fall asleep. I forgot to add that every night we have a bedtime routine. That seems to help. PJ's, story, guitar, prayer, scripture, brush teeth and then bed.