HELP! Are 2 Year Old Meltdowns "Normal?"

I had the same thing happening to me with child #3. Nothing worked and I feel like it is inappropriate behavior that she tries especially in public. No amount of any kind of punishment worked. I refused to offer her fun things or reward her for the bad behavior. Then one day she did it at home to my mother. My mother simply made her way to the bathroom with her and put her in a cold shower clothes, shoes and all just for a few seconds. It worked like a charm and she was not harmed by it but very shocked. She stopped throwing the fits when I reminded her about the shower. In public I had a mister, not a stream sprayer, and we would mist her face with cool water. We did not soak her just a mist. She HATED it and stopped the fits just enough to get her out of the store and in the car. It is normal behavior but the end result is the parent has to win without harming the child physically or damaging the child's spirit.

I feel you! I have a 2 year old and she is rough sometimes but when she does that I just ignore her and her fits seem to have gotten shorter. If she is in the kitchen I walk out of the room. I have learned not to beg or promise anything because that just made it worse for me. I hope it gets better for you I think it will it has for me.

My youngest just turned two and she does the same thing. It is usually when she gets sleepy or just can't express to me what she wants. She gets very frustrated and literally loses it. I never thought of sitting in the floor of the store with her. . .(I may try that because she doesn't like people looking at her when she acts that way.) I do firmly tell her that big girls don't act like that, then we leave the store and sit in the car until she can calm down. One thing I never do is bargain with her over her behavior. I don't want her to think that any time she wants toys or candy all she has to do is throw a fit to get it. That is what I did with my first, and it is a difficult habit to break.

Hi C. M/
Iam a 44 yr young mom of a 2 yr. old also.I am currently taking
a online course about parenting 1-5 yr olds.They say the
tantrums are normal until the age of three. Dont bribe them because
it re-enforces the bad behavior.reward only the good behavior.
Try to redirect their attention to something else.You
cannot reason with a 2 yr. old.They are not there with
there development.when you see a meltdown coming try to
redirect it. Do not worry what others think.All 2yr. ols go
thru it.I hope I have helped you, contact me anytime I could
use support also.
Thanks again ,
M.

My son is 2 and also does the same thing at times. He has a very good vocabulary and speaks full sentances, but when he melts down I can't understand a darn thing. If we are at home, I either put him in his room and tell him he must sit there until he can calm down OR I walk out of the room and ignore him until he stops screaming. Usually when I start playing with my 10 month old that's enough to get him to stop so he can some play also. Just stay consistent with whatever you do.
Good Luck!!!

My daughter just turned two not long ago and she was doing the same exact thing. I cried in Target too. We decided to take her off of all sugar and red food dyes for three days straight and she was a different child immediately. Then we slowly began giving her trace amounts of sugar but we really try not to give a lot. No more cookies, no sodas at all, no juice (tons of sugar there), no candy, no more gummie snacks (her favorite). We give her a lot of fruit now which has natural sugar but she isn't reacting badly to it. Seriously she was a totally different child the day after we took the sugar away. It's hard to give it up for us too. We still keep some sweets in the house but we wait until she goes to bed to eat them. You should give it a try. I was worried about going back to target with her since that was the place of her huge meltdown (she went running and screaming down the aisle leaving me with her baby sister in the cart deciding to go after her and leave the baby or what) but she was an angel the last time we went. I really encourrage you to give it a try. What do you have to loose at this point?

Most of the time when our toddler has a meltdown, I later realize she missed her nap or is hungry. For some reason, that puts them on edge. (Well, I guess it would for me too.) Make sure he is fed and rested. Give him a job maybe. If you go to the grocery store, ask him help you find the bananas and crackers...or something. That will occupy his little brain and will make him feel important. You can play "I spy" too. Involving him in the grownup task may help a lot. Good luck!

C., first things first...take a deep breath. Now, I have a daughter who is 5 now and she still has breakdowns. I have to tell you that these along with the sleepwalking and night terrors, I am at my wits end too. I can't tell you how many times I have went and stuck my head in the pillow and yelled as loud as I could. I have learned to not care what people think about how I raise my two girls. I raise them the best way I know how. The meltdowns seem to have stopped alot when it is just me and my family. Now when you add my huspands family they start all over. I have wored tirelessly to stop these by just being consistent. Don't reward for this behavior. He has one of these then just pick him up and put him somewhere else. Yes people may stare but who cares. I have asked this one lady who was staring "what are you looking at? haven't you ever seen a kid want something they can't have before?" Well she stopped staring :-) I applaud mothers and fathers who just ignore the crying of kids. If people don't want to hear kids then they need to go do things in the middle of the night when the kids should be sleeping. It all comes down to being consistent and don't applaud and reward bad behavior EVER. it will only make it worse. Good luck and remember to breathe. One day they will grow up and you can tell them how "bad" they were haha.

I'm not sure if your son has had a relationship with his father but it could be him responding to the change in marital status and not having his father around. I remember my daughter had major anger issues when my ex and I divorced. Its hard and all I could do is reassure her that I loved her and that it wasnt that we stopped loving her...we just stopped loving each other and that we were better parents apart.

I made alot of efforts to "Put a band-aid on the wound" by taking the kids out to do fun things...Everything was about them for a long time to help them with the transition and with family and friends I can honestly say they are so much happier now than ever. Its a process girl, it isnt something that happens overnight but it will come.

Keep him busy with positive things but right now with him being so young its probably not the best idea to leave him alone as abandonment might be something he is dealing with. If you do leave him with someone, reassure him you are coming back and tell him how much you love him.

I hope you and your son find your way. God Bless.