Help: 9 Month Old No Longer Sleeping Through the Night

Personally I would keep getting up and feeding him as long as he is eating a good amount. Who are we to know when they are really hungry or not? As you stated, he could be going through a growth spurt, or he may just not be getting enough calories during the day and has to make up for them somehow. I personally do not believe in cry it out, I have three children, 5, 3, and 1, and none of them have ever (and will never) cry themselves to sleep. No offence to those that have done it or believe in it, but I just think it is mean. I hate to hear my children cry and will not make them so that I can get a little more sleep. If you don't want to do cry it out, check out the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". It worked for my kids, and as long as you are consistent with it, it will work. You may not get the results those that do cry it out claim to get, having them sleep all night within a week, but you just have to ask yourself how important that is. Is it worth having your baby cry for an hour? Or can you handle putting more work into it, getting the same results in a longer time, but not having to make your baby cry?
Like I said, I have three children, so believe me, I have been in your shoes!! I know how hard it is to get up every night, my 1 year old is still getting up once most nights, and yes, she does still get a bottle when she does. Just know that this is a very short time in your life. It doesn't seem like it now, but when your son is 3 or 4, you'll look back at his babyhood and you'll be shocked at how fast it went by. So why not give him those middle of the night cuddles now, while you still can. Someday he won't want you as much as he does now.
Another thing I've learned is that once you become a parent, you will never not be tired again. lol! Once you are out of the newborn and infant stage, you'll have a toddler that has to get up to go potty or a drink of water. Then you'll have a child that wakes up sick or from having a bad dream (those go for the toddler too!), then you'll have a teenager that you are up worrying about because they are out with friends, or they aren't doing well in school, etc.
He will sleep again all night, I promise, just let him do it in his own time and you'll all be happier.

2 moms found this helpful

S. - Sleeping through the nite is a goal unfairly imposed on our children by some people who do not know our childern or us. Some children need a snack through the nite. I had three boys, none of which slept through the nite until after they were two years old. Yes, that was six years of not sleeping through the nite for me since they all nursed until two. The short time of being awake was a nice time for all of us. I got really good at moseying into the nursery and napping while they snuggled and snacked. My children are all in their twenties now. Having gone through the angst of their adolescence and young adulthood, being awake when they were tiny was a cakewalk.

S. trust YOUR instincts and your child. This really does come to an end. Believe me, a little lost sleep won't matter in a hundred years. Your love of your child will see you both through hard times and that, after all is what really matters.

1 mom found this helpful

This is actually what I'm going through right now with my seven-month-old. Babies this old do not need to eat at night. I'm working on enforcing a 10:00 to 6:30 sleeping time, but my son still wants to eat at 2:30. I've had to just buckle down and stop feeding him. I do make sure he has his pacifier and his diaper is clean (for some reason he keeps wetting through by 2:30), but I don't feed him. Yes, he cries. Loudly. Vehemently. Yes, I'm losing sleep. But he has cried for less time each night I do this, and soon he'll be able to put himself back to sleep, or even not wake up at all. Consistency is important. If he knows that you're not feeding him no matter what, he'll eventually give up trying. If he is going through a growth spurt and needing more food, try to make sure he gets it during the day.

Hi S.,
Just a quick note from a mom of a 4 and 7 yr old. Take a breath. Its hard and tiring sometimes. But! that said, don't sweat it if your 9 month old still wants a bottle at night. If you prepare it ahead of time and he/she can hold it in her in her hands and drink it, you can just hand it over and let her drink it, while you go back to sleep. Don't freak out, its ok. Some kids just take longer to wean. That's ok. There is no one right or wrong way to parent. Get all the sleep you can, but don't force the cry it out thing.

K.

p.s. I am a public health nurse for Jefferson County, Colorado and work with new moms all the time.

Hello S., Your son's need for you at 2:30am will pass, so lovingly meet his need now. He is setting the foundation for trusting people to compassionately respond to him. He is dependent on you for his survival and instinctively knows when he needs you.

As far as you needing sleep, I recommend reading, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She gives all kinds of ideas and stresses the importance of everyone in the family being satisfied with the arragement you choose.

Enjoy this time! It will be over soon.. ~T.

I wasn't going to comment the first time around, but came back to see what others have to say, and I was amazed by how many people let there infants CRO, and for 4 hours a night, even for just one night I could not fathom letting my child think that I wasn't there for them. I have 7 children some are better sleepers then others, I can tell you that as they get older there sleep habits change, and yes babies who once slept through the night will wake up when they hit growth spurts, it takes a lot of energy and food to grow as much as they do in one year, and each new milestone in their little lives, can also interupt it. I get up, this time frame in their lives is so short, I decided to have them and I knew going in that my nights would be sleepless, so why would I demand of them to follow my sleep habits. Adults get thirsty at night and sometimes hungry, why wouldn't an infant? All my kids can put themselves to sleep at night, they range from 16 - 18 months, my youngest gets up one to two times a night, I hand him a bottle and go back to bed, he's happy I'm happy, no big deal. And around 2 just like all my kids he'll start sleeping though the night. Yes I know he is to big for a bottle, but that is the one thing as a mom I am weak at, and I mean week at, I am not as bad as our friends Pediatrican, his still had the night one at five :). Relax enjoy every minute of your baby soon enough you will be looking at your 16 year old asking yourself " Where did the time go?".

This is a standard age to start night waking again. My 3rd is 9 mos old as well and we are going through the same thing. Unfortunately, my experience is that crying it out is the best most effective way to solve this problem. I know it is hard, but think of not only yours, but his sleep deprivation. It is really important for babies to get consolidated sleep so their brains and bodies can grow. It usually only takes a few nights until everything is back to normal. Good Luck!

A.

Well actually it sounds like you and I have a lot in common. My son just turned 10 months old 2 days ago and when he was 9 months old he decided to get up in the middle of the night to eat too. Babies get in a habbit of doing this middle of the night thing, especially if it's at the same time!! We decided that we needed our sleep too, and sfter consulting many "mom experts" we started one night and it's VERY important to be consistant. When he got up in the middle of the night we would go in lay him back down give him his pacifier and his blanket and go back to bed. You can either do this every 5 minutes until he finally goes back to sleep or you can just let him cry until he goes back to sleep. I've heard of it taking up to 2 weeks for this to finally work. Fortunately it only took us a couple of nights, I think that was because he had been sleeping through the night before.

Good luck I would love to hear what you decide to do and how it works out.

Hi S.,

It is hard to let your little one cry. At one year I finally decided my son was waking up out of habit and could sleep through the night. We decided to let him cry it out. I will warn you- the first night was aweful. He cried for 4 hours! BUT, the next night he cried for 20 minutes, the following for 5 minutes, and after that not at all. Since then he has slept through the night except for when sick, teething, etc. Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you. The book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" has been very helpful to me.

Good luck!
J.

Hi S.!

This is J. from Montana! I'm a SAHM to a 7 yr old boy, a 4 yr old boy, and a 2 yr old girl!! I read your concern and thought back to when my baby's would wake me up in the middle of the night from a dead sleep. I would think is this ever going to end, am I ever going to get a full nights sleep! But now that they are all sleeping through the night, I kinda miss holding my babies at night and watching them eat. They are all so big now (the 2 1/2 yr old acts 4!) that I miss that bonding time with my baby. So I would suggest feeding your baby at night and that it won't last forever! Yes they will grow up and sleep through the night sooner or later!! But for now hold your little baby and enjoy it! Sometimes those doctors don't always have the best advice. Only the mommies can really know what's the best for our children!
Hope this helps!
J.

Buy the book Baby wise and read it and follow it as close as you can- it saved me.

I had the same problem with my son when he was about this age. First be sure he is getting a good feeding before going to sleep. Then you don't need to worry about him being really hungry. Second, I found the advice from the author Dr. Spock to be most helpful. He advised that when our son began crying we should wait one minute before going in to comfort him. We could not pick him up or he would develop a habit of crying to get us to come get him. We could just lean over and hug him in the crib and soothe him with our voices and tell him to sleep. Then we had to walk out and shut the door. If he cried again, and he did at first, then we had to wait 2 minutes before going in and repeat the routine. If he continued to cry, we increased the time by 1 minute each time before going in. This helped assure him we were there and taught him to relax over time. After just 3 nights of doing this, he slept soundly all night long. It was really hard for us not to go in and pick him up. I stood outside his door and cried while I watched the clock and listened to him cry on the other side, but this method really worked for us.

I had this same issue with my son, but he was a little older; about 15 months. Anyway, I switched him to a sippy cup. I would offer him any beverage he wanted, but in a sippy cup. The sippy cup isn't nearly as satisfying as the bottle so after a few nights of this he started sleeping through the night again. We had also switched him to a sippy cup during the day so he was used to the cup. Your son may be a little young for this, but it may be worth a try.

Hi S.
I went through the EXACT same thing when my daughter was about 10 mos. old. We followed your same path, but ultimately we had to let her cry it out. IT WAS HORRIBLE... The first night, she SCREAMED for 2 1/2 hours. My husband and I thought we were gonna lose our minds! I felt like the worst mother EVER. Our neighbors even asked us the next day if she was okay. This is how loud she was....

However, the second night she cried for 45 minutes, the third night for 30 minutes, the fourth night about 10, and the fifth night, she let out a single "wah!" and that was the end of it.

It was without question one of the hardest things I've ever done. She was crying in one room - I was crying in another room... Really really hard; TOTALLY sucked!!

I always checked to be sure she didn't need a diaper change, and that she had a full tummy before I'd lay her down. I'd rub her back for a few minutes to comfort her. But ultimately we HAD to let her cry it out. I hated it, but it was totally worth the sleepless week it took to break her of the habit. We never had another problem with it again.

Hang tough! You can do it! Best of luck!

Hi S.,
my doctor gave me the best advice to get my son to sleep thru the night. He told me to give him a bottle of water when he woke up. He said that babies will wake up if they know they are going to be fed, so yes, you are right, it starts to form a habit! Find out from your doctor if you can give "tap" water, or if you should give him "bottled" water instead. My son got up at 3 am everynight, once I gave him a bottle of water (after 2 nights) he was back to sleeping thru the night.
Good luck, I hope it helps!

L.

My daughter did the same thing. After she weened herself she got up at 1 a.m. every single night. For awhile I also gave in, but then I discovered that sending her to bed with a sippy cup full of water helped tremendously. Sometimes when she still woke up in the middle of the night, I gave her a ritz cracker or part of a graham cracker. Every child is different, but good luck!

I totally agree with Dani S. Letting babies CIO is mean, and I think it is for people who don't want to put in the effort to soothe their baby because it's more important for them to get their sleep, or they want to be in control, or they think they will end up with a manipulative child. Nonsense! There are alternatives, and I think the No Cry Sleep Solution is worth trying.

Well maybe it isn't such a bad idea to let him have a bottle. My son when he was 16 months wanted to have a bottle because his baby brother had one. I let him. He grew right out of it. It only took him a couple of weeks to deside to stop having it. Were you breast feeding? If so I think that he misses the closeness of you holding him at that time of the night. Even if you were bottle feeding he would miss you holding him at night. All babies do this. My sons are grown now but they both went through withdrawls. Even if you have to give him a cup of milk then do it. Some day he will want to do everything for himself. Cherish the time you have with him even if it is in the middle of the night. At least it isn't 2-3 times a night. Sometimes our little ones have dreams I think and they need the comfort. I really do miss cuddling with my sons. They still give me hugs and kisses when they see me and they are 26 and 24 yrs old. I think I did pretty well with them. I hope this has helped you in some way. I have known many women that have had to give their kids bottles even after they are weened and their kids are all fine adults.

My baby did this too. She slept through the night for months and then we moved (I think it's change that gets them messed up) and she would walk about around 3 every morning. I was like you and found it much easier to just feed her than to try and get her to sleep otherwise. And in the middle of the night you don't care and just want to get back to sleep! I did this for about 3 or 4 months and we went out of town for a whole month. During that month she woke up 3 to 4 times a night! I was so sleep deprived when we got home that I was ready to let her cry it out. I had tired it several times before unsucessfully because I gave in and picked her up. But I was so tired I could tune her out better. Let me say that it is SO WORTH IT!! I think she cired for like 4 hours the first night, 2 the second, 30 min the 3rd until she doesn't even cry at all now! We can lay her down awake (but sleepy) tell her it's time to sleep and she just goes to sleep on her own with out a fus! It's heavenly, and like I said IT'S SO WORTH IT!! We are all happier now that we're sleeping through the night. Be strong, it will pay off, think of it as an investment!

He's not going to starve without that midnight meal. You'll all be better without it. And you are right that it is a habit, not a necessity. If he's really having a growth spurt he'll eat more in the day. I am a cry-it-out fan. It took both of my girls only 3 nights of crying it out until we were all sleeping through the night. If you really can't do that then start giving him bottles of water, not milk. I've heard of moms who have done that and eventually it is not worth it to the kids to wake up for the water. I am still a fan of the cry-it-out method. I think it's much faster and better at breaking the waking-up habit. The little ones don't hold it against you in the morning and while it may feel like hours of crying for one or two nights I've never known anyone who hasn't had that success come within a week. The trick is to not respond in the first place. If you respond after 10 or 20 minutes of crying than you just teach your child to cry for that long until you come and it increases their determination to cry for you. Good luck.

It may be possible that he's simply going through a growth spurt or just thirsty because of the dry air. Babies and small children are pretty in tune with their bodies. My son went through a stage around this age when he was up a lot - he did outgrow it!

A great book that has helped us a lot is Sweet Dreams by Dr Paul Fleiss. He discusses the natural sleep rhythms of children and how to encourage better sleep naturally without coercion.

Have you checked out the No Cry Sleep Solution? It takes a few weeks longer-but no crying and you & your baby will both benefit from the steps that she recommends. Everybody recommended that book to me and it's been really helpful. Hang in there!

Crying it out may be the only way. My second one has been ver unconsistant with his sleep. One week he would sleep thru the night, the next week, up around 2:00 every night. We decidid to let him cry it out also, and it seems to work. It is very hard to do, but I have had many friends tell me to do it also. It worked for us and now he is sleeping thru the night. You have to break the habbit and let him know you are not going to give him a bottle in the middle of the night.

My daughter pulled the same thing. We found feeding her something like hot cereal just before bedtime seemed to fill her tummy a little better so we knew she wasn't starving in the middle of the night. However, your baby may have also developed a habit of waking at that time and you may well have to let him cry it out cinsistently for a week to learn to get himself back to sleep. You would sleep easier, however, knowing he had been fed and wasn't 'starving'. Good luck!

Yuk! It could just be a phase, but it seems to be going on for a while. Is he getting a good feeding right before bed? And if he's eating cereal yet, does he have some of that before bed? That should tide him over. Otherwise it may be worth letting him cry it out - it may be hard for a few days, but in the long run will be worth it for all of you! I don't know how long he cries though. Our son has had phases like this too, and our philosophy with ours was, if he's getting a good feeding right before bed, and then wakes up, we would let him cry it out, and once he learned that we weren't going to come when he was crying (unless he was obviously upset about something else) it usually took him about a week, or maybe less, to just stay asleep through the night.

Let him cry it out!!! I am the mother of 4 children. I was afraid to let my oldest cry it out when he was a baby. It was easier and quicker to just get up and rock him or nurse him or whatever. It just creates a bad sleeping habit. He was still waking up in the night when he was a toddler because of what I was doing. I finally got a book from the library. When he wakes up, let him cry for 5 minutes. Then go in and tell him time to sleep ,then leave, He will cry louder. Then increase the time to 10 minutes and do the same. Eventually getting up to 20 -25 minutes. Do not pick him up or touch him. DON"T FEED HIM!! A baby will not starve or be deprived if you don't feed him in the night. This is just a habit that needs to be broken. This will be a very bad night's sleep for you. Hang in there. This technique usually takes 3 days to train the child to sleep. My son took about a week and a half because I let it go on for so long. It is very important to teach your child to put himself back to sleep. I did it right with my subsequent 3 children and they sleep just fine. My son is now 12 and still is the worst sleeper of the 4. If we wakes in the night, he often will come and wake me! If your husband can't deal with the crying, he may need to sleep in another part of the house for a few nights. It will be well worth it. This is a tried and true method. I have shared it with many new moms who were very grateful afterwards. I just wish I had done it right the first time. (My son got me up last night with a nightmare and couldn't get himself back to sleep). A little about me: I'm a 42 yo stay at home mother of 4, also a healthcare professional working on her Doctorate.

Hi S.,
My son did the same thing, I think it is because of the new activity (if he is crawling), he may need more food during the day. I used Baby Wise with my little guy, so I let him cry it out. However, he did not cry it out alone. I would go into the room after her was crying for about 10 minutes (just in case he settled back down). Once inside the room, I would pat him on the back and turn on some soft music. I never took him out of the crib, never made conversation, etc. I just said, "you're okay" over and over while patting him, and I left the room after a couple of minutes. If he still cries, leave anyway. I went back every 10 minutes, even if he was hysterical, and repeated the same technique. Within 4 days, he was back to sleeping through the night. The key is consistency. It is hard, I understand, but it is easier to nip it now than waiting any longer.

IF he is in a growth spurt, try giving him an extra feeding of solid foods during the day, and make sure his last one is right before bed time. My daughter did the same thing, and that's what our doctor recommended. It worked....she was just hungry. We are also people who let our kids cry it out if we know there is nothing wrong, but if they are hungry, they need to eat.

My pediatrician suggested giving my daughter water instead of milk when this happened to us. We had to wean her off of the milk onto the water so it took a few nights, but after about a week, she was sleeping thru the night. My ped said that the child will feel like it's just not worth getting up just for water.

My advice is to not feed your little one. I have an 8 month old and she was doing the same thing. She had been sleeping through the night (for the most part, maybe waking for a bit and crying, but putting herself back to sleep after a few minutes) for a few months and then pretty suddenly waking up. I never once thought it could be she was hungry because she'd been going without being fed for so long. I too emailed for help to MamaSource and got responses that it could be a growth spurt and to feed. However, I went to my pediatrician to make sure she didn't have an ear infection or was possibly in pain other than teething or sick in some way. Her advice was not to feed! Even if it is a growth spurt. You'll probably get lots of different resposes, some saying to feed, some saying it's teething and advising to maybe offer teething tablets, Motrin or Tylenol and some advising to let your little one cry it out. The problem is since your little one cannot tell you what is exactly bothering him, you kind of have to guess, although teething can be somewhat obvious. The option is truly up to you. I can tell you it is a phase, one of probably a few you will go through. What my husband and I did was basically let her cry it out. We'd check on her to make sure she was alright, not stuck in the crib rail or something, otherwise we'd go back to bed and kind of suffer through until she kind of wore herself out. DON'T pick him up, or even massage his back, just check on him, say it's okay, go back to sleep and leave the room. That's what we did. Our little girl got worked up too, but it definately worked! And didn't take but a night or two. All options will probably work, but I think letting him cry it out will be the most effective. I figured if my pediatrician said it is what she did (she used the Ferber technique)and said it was alright, then it was worth trying, especially if it worked fairly quickly. Some might say this is cruel, but it's more what you and your husband can handle and/or choose to do. Good luck!

It sounds like a bottle may not be enough for your growing boy anymore, and this is normal. It may be time to start intoducing rice cereal and some baby foods to your baby. My kids were both about this age when we started introducing cereal to them. The way I started was to mix a small amount of cereal into the bottle with the formula at night. This makes the bottle more filling without making a drastic change in their diet. This also helped them sleep through the night because their tummies stay fuller longer.

Good luck!

if you think your son is having a growth spurt the answer is to offer food more often through out the day, and not during the night. Try giving him extra formula or more at each meal. I beleive if your baby is eating well during the day there should be no need for him to wake at night to eat. Marc Weisbluth (a well known Pediatrican) wrote a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy child". He indicated that at 9 months of age and beyond, babies do not need night feedings. I would suggest finding out if there is a medical problem going on with your child before you let him "cry it out." One thing to remember about teething is that it doesn't happen all at once. Each tooth may start to sprout one at a time.