I feel your pain. I believe that infants don't just wake up and cry without having a good reason. If you feel your daughter is crying because she is hungry....feed her, no matter what time it is (it could possibly be a growing spurt). Are you breast feeding or bottle feeding? If breast feeding, I am sure you realize whatever you eat affects the little belly of your child. My sister has a 3 month old and out of the blue experienced the same problem. She came to find out that she was eating way to much protein for her daughter to digest, which created night tears and pain. She restricted her protein intake and Audrey is sleeping like a little bear and sleeping through the night without severe crying episodes. Audrey is also very particular about having a clean diaper. LOL.
If you are formula feeding, don't rule out that your child is having an allergic reaction to the formula. My daughter, now 11, went through every formula until we found one. Of course, it was very expensive. Didn't take her long to hit the pocketbook. When we switched to milk, we found out our daughter was lactose intolerant. It wasn't easy, but we knew Alexandra wasn't crying for no reason. Believe me, it wasn't the doctor that figured out what our child needed, it was us. Everybody just said we were spoiling her and to let her cry. In my opinion, an infant doesn't know time or how to manipulate. These are learned behaviors.
Another quick story that might help. My cousin's daughter also went through something similar and she came to find out that she had a form of infant acid reflux. Any time of rice or soy product would create pain and gas which caused the reaction of sleepless and tearful nights for the baby and parents. Again, people said the baby just wanted to be held and was being spoiled, when in actuality, being in the upright position and with the body heat against her was the only comfortable position she could endure.
Three different little girls with a common problem of sleepless nights, yet all three had different solutions. I hope you and your husband find yours. Good luck to you and your little ones. L. C.